I'm afraid i may be coming from a different stand point to many who log on ..
My situation is this. I believe i'm not in love. I'm in a relationship with a brilliant guy who i yearn to fall in love with, and i lose sleep with the anxiety of not being. I'm fairly desperate because a pattern seems to be forming, as it's a similar situation i found myself in my most recent previous relationship. Only very recently has a kind of shock to the system taken place with me that i don't think my feelings will change. I am in no way getting any pleasure from this position emotionally, i'm more and more depressed and seeking help, mainly because of the repeat in my behaviour. He has expressed love for me, but, not being able to say it freely and happily back - is incredibly sad. I understand those of you who just say 'get out now', simple. But i'm afraid i don't find it simple. Being without him will still be the end of my world that i'm used to that i've been trying to embrace for the last 7 months. There have been long periods where i really relax. We get on very well, physically we have a great time. from the outside, everyone sees us having a lot of fun - i feel honestly that i can't cope with letting somebody down again after the last time.
Perhaps this will get an angry reaction, - i don't take a moment before entering into something and think 'how can i hurt someone now'. in the long run, i'm hurting myself a great deal. i truly want to feel settled and able to make someone else truly happy. This is probably defunct - am just writing after a particularly bad night. Anyone get me?