Written and directed by Edward Burns.

Francis Fitzpatrick

• Big deal, you're happy. You're never going to make any real money.

• Romance is great, but I just want to remind you, it don't pay the bills.

• [to Mickey] Twenty-five fucking years, I've been waiting for the day I'd be bigger, tougher, stronger than you are. When you go down it's gonna hurt, baby. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass! Are you ready? You ready to be humiliated in front of your new wife and your father? You are an ugly bitch, I pity you...

Others

• Mr Fitzpatrick: [to Francis] Let me get this straight. You don't want to cheat on your girlfriend with your wife?

• Renee Fitzpatrick: Francis, I cannot remember the last time I saw your penis.

Dialogue

Mr. Fitzpatrick: [about Mrs. Fitzpatrick] She's gonna be devastated. She's been up at that goddamn church every morning praying for your brother. And then yesterday she tells me I spend too much time on the boat. I don't even want to get into that discussion. And now you're gonna get divorced? Christ. She'll be up with Father John twenty-four hours a day. Thanks a lot, buddy. I'm probably going to have to start making my own breakfast again.

Francis: I'm sorry if my divorce interferes with your breakfast plans, Dad.

Mickey: Why are you getting so upset Dad? You don't even believe in God.

Mr. Fitzpatrick: That doesn't mean I'm going to stop being a good Catholic.

Heather: Look where your decency has gotten you. You are the only English-speaking white guy driving a cab in New York. That should tell you something.

Mickey: You know what Heather, I gotta imagine it beats sucking dick for a living though, huh?

Francis: Well, for one thing, I don't like the fact that you have sex with a geriatric.

Heather: Well, how do you think I feel about you going home and seeing your wife every night?

Francis: I haven't had sex with my wife in months.

Heather: Well, I don't know if that is such a good idea, Francis. Clearly you need the practice.

Heather: He doesn't care about my past.

Francis: Is that because he doesn't know you were a hooker?

Heather: He was my best customer.

Cast

• Edward Burns - Mickey Fitzpatrick
• Mike McGlone - Francis Fitzpatrick
• Cameron Diaz - Heather Davis
• Jennifer Aniston - Renee Fitzpatrick
• Maxine Bahns - Hope
• John Mahoney - Mr. Fitzpatrick
• Malachy McCourt - Tom
• Leslie Mann - Connie
• Amanda Peet - Molly
• Anita Gillette - Carol
• Frank Vincent - Ron