How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide
Encyclopedia
How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide is a satirical novel by Aaron Goldfarb
, published in 2010. It is billed as the world's first self-hurt guide, the polar opposite of a self-help
guide.
The controversial author of Happy Hour is for Amateurs, Philalawyer, blurbed that How to Fail was "Piss-yourself funny." Len Edgerly of The Kindle Chronicles podcast noted that How to Fail was "reminiscent of a classic that raised eyebrows sixty years ago: J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye."
PART I: Hell's Kitchen
PART II: UWS
Aaron Goldfarb
Aaron Goldfarb Aaron Goldfarb is an American writer best known for his 2010 satirical novel How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide, the world's first self-hurt guide, and his short story collection about "the sexes, sex, and sexiness in New York" The Cheat Sheet.-Early Life:Goldfarb was born in New York...
, published in 2010. It is billed as the world's first self-hurt guide, the polar opposite of a self-help
Self-help
Self-help, or self-improvement, is a self-guided improvement—economically, intellectually, or emotionally—often with a substantial psychological basis. There are many different self-help movements and each has its own focus, techniques, associated beliefs, proponents and in some cases, leaders...
guide.
The controversial author of Happy Hour is for Amateurs, Philalawyer, blurbed that How to Fail was "Piss-yourself funny." Len Edgerly of The Kindle Chronicles podcast noted that How to Fail was "reminiscent of a classic that raised eyebrows sixty years ago: J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye."
Chapters
How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide includes "footchapters" which, just like footnotes, comment on some point raised in an earlier chapter, however, in a much larger format.PART I: Hell's Kitchen
Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan
Hell's Kitchen, also known as Clinton and Midtown West, is a neighborhood of Manhattan in New York City between 34th Street and 59th Street, from 8th Avenue to the Hudson River....
- Chapter One: How to Fail to Write a Cohesive IntroductionIntroduction (essay)An introduction is a beginning section which states the purpose and goals of the following writing. The introduction is usually interesting and it intrigues the reader and causes him or her to want to read on. The sentence in which the introduction begins can be a question or just a statement...
- Chapter Two: How to Fail to Not Get Mistaken For a BumBeggingBegging is to entreat earnestly, implore, or supplicate. It often occurs for the purpose of securing a material benefit, generally for a gift, donation or charitable donation...
- Footchapter Two: How to Go Insane and Garner Voices in Your Head
- Chapter Three: How to Fail to Make Your Parents Proud of You
- Footchapter Three: How to Fail to Write Commercial Material
- Chapter Four: How to Fail to Do Something Productive All Day
- Footchapter Four-A: How to Develop an AddictionAddictionHistorically, addiction has been defined as physical and psychological dependence on psychoactive substances which cross the blood-brain barrier once ingested, temporarily altering the chemical milieu of the brain.Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity...
- Footchapter Four-B: How to Masturbate at Work
- Chapter Five: How To Fail to Live in a Healthy Environment
- Footchapter Five-A: How to Locate and Find Yourself Paying Rent to a SlumlordSlumlordA slumlord is a derogatory term for landlords, generally absentee landlords, who attempt to maximize profit by minimizing spending on property maintenance, often in deteriorating neighborhoods. They may need to charge lower than market rent to tenants...
- Footchapter Five-B: How to Have Fucked-Up NeighborsNeighbourhoodA neighbourhood or neighborhood is a geographically localised community within a larger city, town or suburb. Neighbourhoods are often social communities with considerable face-to-face interaction among members. "Researchers have not agreed on an exact definition...
- Chapter Six: How to Fail in LoveLoveLove is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase, "God is love" or Agape in the Canonical gospels...
- Footchapter Six-A: How to Get Usurped By Your Girlfriend's ExEx (relationship)In social relationships, an ex is someone with whom a person was once associated. As a prefix, ex- can refer to a variety of different relationships; for example, one might refer to a music group's ex-guitarist, or someone's ex-friend...
- Footchapter Six-B: How to Have a Sordid PastPastMost generally, the past is a term used to indicate the totality of events which occurred before a given point in time. The past is contrasted with and defined by the present and the future. The concept of the past is derived from the linear fashion in which human observers experience time, and is...
- Chapter Seven: How to Fail All the Way to Rock BottomSelf-destructive behaviourIn human context, self-destructive behaviour is a widely used phrase that conceptualises certain kinds of destructive acts as belonging to the self. It also has the property that it characterises certain kinds of self-inflicted acts as destructive...
PART II: UWS
Upper West Side
The Upper West Side is a neighborhood in the borough of Manhattan, New York City, that lies between Central Park and the Hudson River and between West 59th Street and West 125th Street...
- Chapter Eight: How to Live on a CouchCouchA couch, also called a sofa, is an item of furniture designed to seat more than one person, and providing support for the back and arms. Typically, it will have an armrest on either side. In homes couches are normally found in the family room, living room, den or the lounge...
- Footchapter Eight: How to Avoid Your Ex in a Small TownTownA town is a human settlement larger than a village but smaller than a city. The size a settlement must be in order to be called a "town" varies considerably in different parts of the world, so that, for example, many American "small towns" seem to British people to be no more than villages, while...
- Chapter Nine: How to Fail to Extend Your Family TreeFamily treeA family tree, or pedigree chart, is a chart representing family relationships in a conventional tree structure. The more detailed family trees used in medicine, genealogy, and social work are known as genograms.-Family tree representations:...
- Footchapter Nine: How to Fail in BedBedA bed is a large piece of furniture used as a place to sleep, relax, or engage in sexual relations.Most modern beds consist of a mattress on a bed frame, with the mattress resting either on a solid base, often wooden slats, or a sprung base...
- Chapter Ten: How to Get LaidLaidLaid is the sixth studio album by British alternative rock band James. It was released on October 5, 1993. It was the first of several collaborations between the group and Brian Eno, who produced all but one of the album's tracks – in Stuart Maconie's authorised biography of the group, Folklore,...
on a Couch - Footchapter Ten: How to Acquire the STDSexually transmitted diseaseSexually transmitted disease , also known as a sexually transmitted infection or venereal disease , is an illness that has a significant probability of transmission between humans by means of human sexual behavior, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex...
That's Right for You
- Chapter Eleven: How to Be Haunted by Demons
- Footchapter Eleven-A: How to Be Aimless and Uninspired
- Footchapter Eleven-B: How to Piss People Off, Alienate Yourself, and End Up Alone
- Chapter Twelve: How to Have a Negative Net and Self-Worth
- Footchapter Twelve: How to Business networkingBusiness networkingBusiness networking is a socioeconomic activity by which groups of like-minded businesspeople recognize, create, or act upon business opportunities. A business network is a type of social network whose reason for existing is business activity...
- Chapter Thirteen: How to Fail to Be NormalNormality (behavior)In behavior, normal refers to a lack of significant deviation from the average. The phrase "not normal" is often applied in a negative sense Abnormality varies greatly in how pleasant or unpleasant this is for other people.The Oxford English Dictionary defines "normal" as "conforming to a standard"...
- Footchapter Thirteen-A: How to Be a Hypochondriac Without Health CareHealth careHealth care is the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of disease, illness, injury, and other physical and mental impairments in humans. Health care is delivered by practitioners in medicine, chiropractic, dentistry, nursing, pharmacy, allied health, and other care providers...
- Footchapter Thirteen-B: How to Grow Apart From Your FriendsFriendsFriends is an American sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994 to May 6, 2004. The series revolves around a group of friends in Manhattan. The series was produced by Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions, in association with Warner Bros. Television...
- Chapter Fourteen: How to Fail to Fail
- Epilogue: How to Write a Successful Book and Become RichWealthWealth is the abundance of valuable resources or material possessions. The word wealth is derived from the old English wela, which is from an Indo-European word stem...