Shiv'ah
Encyclopedia
Shiva (literally "seven") is the week-long mourning
period in Judaism
for first-degree relatives: father
, mother
, son
, daughter
, brother, sister, and spouse
. The ritual is referred to as "sitting shiva." Immediately after burial
, first-degree relatives assume the halakhic
status of "avel" . This state lasts for seven days, during which family members traditionally gather in one home (preferably the home of the deceased) and receive visitors. At the funeral, mourners traditionally rend an outer garment, a ritual known as keriah. This garment is worn throughout shiva.
. On Shabbat
during the week of shiva, no formal mourning takes place, but the day is counted as one of the seven. Sometimes, a minyan
with a Torah reading
will take place at the mourner's house.
If the first day of a Yom Tov (holy days which includes Rosh Hashanah
, Yom Kippur
, Sukkot
, Passover
, and Shavuot
) occurs during shiva, the shiva ends, regardless of the number of days that have already been observed. Even if a Yom Tov begins at nightfall on the day of the funeral, the remainder of shiva is cancelled.
If the death occurs during Yom Tov, shiva does not begin until the burial is completed. Burial may not take place on Yom Tov, but can on Chol HaMoed
(the intermediate days of Sukkot or Passover). Burial can also take place on the second day of a holy day in the Diaspora
. In addition, it is also permitted to delegate the burial to gentiles even on the first day, though such is not usually done.
If a burial occurs on Chol HaMoed, shiva does not begin until after the Yom Tov is completed. In the Diaspora, where most Yom Tovim are observed for two days, mourning does not take place on the second day, but the day is still counted as one of the days of shiva.
are not permitted. (It is permitted to study the laws of mourning, as well as that material which may be studied on Tisha B'Av
, including Job
, Lamentations
, portions of Jeremiah
and the third chapter of Talmud tractate Moed Katan.) No public mourning may occur on Shabbat, nor may the burial take place on Shabbat; "private" mourning restrictions continue during the Shabbat. It is customary for the mourners to sit on low stools, or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being "brought low" by the grief. Typically, mourners do not return to work until the end of the week of mourning.
Many communities have an arrangement where members of the chevra kadisha
(local Jewish burial society) organise the meals for the mourners, and serve refreshments for visitors. If prayer services
are organized in the house of mourning, it is customary for an adult mourner to lead the prayers.
(literally "commandment" but usually interpreted as "good deed") of kindness and compassion to pay a home visit (make or pay a shiva call) to the mourners, a practice known as Nichum Aveilim. Traditionally, no greetings are exchanged and visitors wait for the mourners to initiate conversation, or remain silent if the mourners do not do so, out of respect for their bereavement. Once engaged in conversation by the mourners, it is appropriate for visitors to talk about the deceased, sharing stories of his or her life. Some mourners use the shiva as a distraction from their loss, other mourners prefer to openly experience their grief together with friends and family. Upon leaving the shiva house, visitors recite a traditional phrase: "May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem" (In Hebrew, המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים , transliterated as Hamakom y'nachem etchem b'toch sh'ar aveylei tziyon viyrusholayim). In the Sephardic tradition, visitors say: "May heaven comfort you" (Tenachamu Min Hashamayim).It is considered a mitzvah for visitors to bring prepared food for the mourners. The mourner is not expected or obligated to serve food to the visitors, who may eat only if offered food by the mourner.
(a quorum of ten or more adult male Jews) traditionally gather at the shiva home for services. The services held are like those at a synagogue, except that certain prayers or verses are either added or omitted. On days that the Torah is read
in a synagogue, it is likewise read at the shiva home. An effort is made by the community to lend a Torah scroll to the mourner for this purpose. Kaddish
is recited during the services; the mourner, if eligible, may recite kaddish.
Jews food is served to the visitors and it is considered a mitzvah to make a blessing on the food in the merit of the deceased. Sephardim believe that every beracha (blessing) said elevates the neshama, (soul) of the deceased. Therefore, one should eat a variety of foods to be able to say more than one beracha. In an Ashkenazic home of mourning, food is not served except for the possibility of a light breakfast as a courtesy to those attending Shaharit (morning prayer) since they generally go straight to work after the service.
, i.e., a human life is in danger, whether that of the mourner or someone else; when something must be done to prevent another person from suffering and no one else can do it, such as caring for a child or an elderly or sick person; to feed or care for one's animals if there is no one else to do so; if another relative for whom the mourner is required to sit shiva dies, the mourner may attend the funeral. Leaving the house is also permitted on Shabbat.
Generally, one does not work or conduct business during shiva, although an exception may be made for those whose duties involve pikuach nefesh (doctors, nurses and emergency medical technician
s). The same is true for mourners who are liable to suffer serious economic loss. If a mourner shares a business with a partner, and the partner can operate the business alone, the partner shall run the business. The partner is entitled to keep all profits made during the time, but if the partner does not exert additional effort, and the mourner will suffer economic loss, the partner is encouraged to donate the profits to the mourner, considering it tzedaka. A mourner may do the minimal amount of work necessary in order to assure the survival of a business, or if his position is important in meeting the needs of the public and no substitute can be found. This includes elected officials whose work is necessary for the citizens. During the shiva period, the mourner is permitted to give instructions on how to handle business in his absence.
If one learns of a relative's death more than a week following burial, s/he shall sit Shiva starting on the day of notification, if the shloshim period has not elapsed. Shiva shall be a seven-day period, unless the shloshim period ends during this time, or a Yom Tov begins.
If the shloshim period has elapsed, Shiva is not observed. But if the deceased relative is a parent, the recitation of kaddish
and yearlong restrictions are in effect.
If one cannot be notified of a relative's death due to mental health deficiencies that make it impossible to comprehend the loss or physical illness that may be severely aggravated by hearing the news, notification is withheld, and the person does not sit shiva.
"sit shiva" when a relative marries a non-Jew. It is likely that this practice has its source in a reading of an ambiguous statement regarding the behavior of Rabbenu Gershom toward his son who converted to Christianity.
Bereavement in Judaism
Bereavement in Judaism is a combination of minhag and mitzvah derived from Judaism's classical Torah and rabbinic texts...
period in Judaism
Judaism
Judaism ) is the "religion, philosophy, and way of life" of the Jewish people...
for first-degree relatives: father
Father
A father, Pop, Dad, or Papa, is defined as a male parent of any type of offspring. The adjective "paternal" refers to father, parallel to "maternal" for mother...
, mother
Mother
A mother, mum, mom, momma, or mama is a woman who has raised a child, given birth to a child, and/or supplied the ovum that grew into a child. Because of the complexity and differences of a mother's social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to specify a universally...
, son
Son
A son is a male offspring; a boy or man in relation to his parents. The female analogue is a daughter.-Social issues regarding sons:In pre-industrial societies and some current countries with agriculture-based economies, a higher value was, and still is, assigned to sons rather than daughters,...
, daughter
Daughter
A daughter is a female offspring; a girl, woman, or female animal in relation to her parents. The male equivalent is a son. Analogously the name is used on several areas to show relations between groups or elements.-Etymology:...
, brother, sister, and spouse
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
. The ritual is referred to as "sitting shiva." Immediately after burial
Burial
Burial is the act of placing a person or object into the ground. This is accomplished by excavating a pit or trench, placing an object in it, and covering it over.-History:...
, first-degree relatives assume the halakhic
Halakha
Halakha — also transliterated Halocho , or Halacha — is the collective body of Jewish law, including biblical law and later talmudic and rabbinic law, as well as customs and traditions.Judaism classically draws no distinction in its laws between religious and ostensibly non-religious life; Jewish...
status of "avel" . This state lasts for seven days, during which family members traditionally gather in one home (preferably the home of the deceased) and receive visitors. At the funeral, mourners traditionally rend an outer garment, a ritual known as keriah. This garment is worn throughout shiva.
Length of shiva
The Hebrew word "shiva" means "seven", and the official shiva period is seven days. The day of the funeral is counted as the first day of shiva, even though the practice does not begin until after the mourner(s) arrive at the designated location following the funeral. On day seven, shiva generally ends in the morning, following services, and the mourners are walked around the block by the community. This practice is based on two verses from the Book of IsaiahBook of Isaiah
The Book of Isaiah is the first of the Latter Prophets in the Hebrew Bible, preceding the books of Ezekiel, Jeremiah and the Book of the Twelve...
. On Shabbat
Shabbat
Shabbat is the seventh day of the Jewish week and a day of rest in Judaism. Shabbat is observed from a few minutes before sunset on Friday evening until a few minutes after when one would expect to be able to see three stars in the sky on Saturday night. The exact times, therefore, differ from...
during the week of shiva, no formal mourning takes place, but the day is counted as one of the seven. Sometimes, a minyan
Minyan
A minyan in Judaism refers to the quorum of ten Jewish adults required for certain religious obligations. According to many non-Orthodox streams of Judaism adult females count in the minyan....
with a Torah reading
Torah reading
Torah reading is a Jewish religious ritual that involves the public reading of a set of passages from a Torah scroll. The term often refers to the entire ceremony of removing the Torah scroll from the ark, chanting the appropriate excerpt with special cantillation, and returning the scroll to...
will take place at the mourner's house.
If the first day of a Yom Tov (holy days which includes Rosh Hashanah
Rosh Hashanah
Rosh Hashanah , , is the Jewish New Year. It is the first of the High Holy Days or Yamim Nora'im which occur in the autumn...
, Yom Kippur
Yom Kippur
Yom Kippur , also known as Day of Atonement, is the holiest and most solemn day of the year for the Jews. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. Jews traditionally observe this holy day with a 25-hour period of fasting and intensive prayer, often spending most of the day in synagogue...
, Sukkot
Sukkot
Sukkot is a Biblical holiday celebrated on the 15th day of the month of Tishrei . It is one of the three biblically mandated festivals Shalosh regalim on which Hebrews were commanded to make a pilgrimage to the Temple in Jerusalem.The holiday lasts seven days...
, Passover
Passover
Passover is a Jewish holiday and festival. It commemorates the story of the Exodus, in which the ancient Israelites were freed from slavery in Egypt...
, and Shavuot
Shavuot
The festival of is a Jewish holiday that occurs on the sixth day of the Hebrew month of Sivan ....
) occurs during shiva, the shiva ends, regardless of the number of days that have already been observed. Even if a Yom Tov begins at nightfall on the day of the funeral, the remainder of shiva is cancelled.
If the death occurs during Yom Tov, shiva does not begin until the burial is completed. Burial may not take place on Yom Tov, but can on Chol HaMoed
Chol HaMoed
Chol HaMoed, a Hebrew phrase meaning "weekdays [of] the festival" , refers to the intermediate days of Passover and Sukkot. During Chol HaMoed the usual restrictions that apply to the Biblical Jewish holidays are relaxed, but not entirely eliminated...
(the intermediate days of Sukkot or Passover). Burial can also take place on the second day of a holy day in the Diaspora
Jewish diaspora
The Jewish diaspora is the English term used to describe the Galut גלות , or 'exile', of the Jews from the region of the Kingdom of Judah and Roman Iudaea and later emigration from wider Eretz Israel....
. In addition, it is also permitted to delegate the burial to gentiles even on the first day, though such is not usually done.
If a burial occurs on Chol HaMoed, shiva does not begin until after the Yom Tov is completed. In the Diaspora, where most Yom Tovim are observed for two days, mourning does not take place on the second day, but the day is still counted as one of the days of shiva.
Shiva customs
Traditionally, the first meal after the funeral, the seudat havra'ah , is supplied by neighbors and friends. The mourners do not bathe or shower for pleasure, they do not wear leather shoes or jewelry, men do not shave, and in many communities household mirrors are covered. The prohibition of bathing includes bathing or showering the whole body, or using hot water. It is permitted to wash separately various parts of the body in cool water. Marital relations and Torah studyTorah study
Torah study is the study by Jewish people of the Torah, Hebrew Bible, Talmud, responsa, rabbinic literature and similar works, all of which are Judaism's religious texts...
are not permitted. (It is permitted to study the laws of mourning, as well as that material which may be studied on Tisha B'Av
Tisha B'Av
|Av]],") is an annual fast day in Judaism, named for the ninth day of the month of Av in the Hebrew calendar. The fast commemorates the destruction of both the First Temple and Second Temple in Jerusalem, which occurred about 655 years apart, but on the same Hebrew calendar date...
, including Job
Book of Job
The Book of Job , commonly referred to simply as Job, is one of the books of the Hebrew Bible. It relates the story of Job, his trials at the hands of Satan, his discussions with friends on the origins and nature of his suffering, his challenge to God, and finally a response from God. The book is a...
, Lamentations
Book of Lamentations
The Book of Lamentations ) is a poetic book of the Hebrew Bible composed by the Jewish prophet Jeremiah. It mourns the destruction of Jerusalem and the Holy Temple in the 6th Century BCE....
, portions of Jeremiah
Jeremiah
Jeremiah Hebrew：יִרְמְיָה , Modern Hebrew:Yirməyāhū, IPA: jirməˈjaːhu, Tiberian:Yirmĭyahu, Greek:Ἰερεμίας), meaning "Yahweh exalts", or called the "Weeping prophet" was one of the main prophets of the Hebrew Bible...
and the third chapter of Talmud tractate Moed Katan.) No public mourning may occur on Shabbat, nor may the burial take place on Shabbat; "private" mourning restrictions continue during the Shabbat. It is customary for the mourners to sit on low stools, or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being "brought low" by the grief. Typically, mourners do not return to work until the end of the week of mourning.
Many communities have an arrangement where members of the chevra kadisha
Chevra Kadisha
A chevra kadisha is a loosely structured but generally closed organization of Jewish men and women who see to it that the bodies of Jews are prepared for burial according to Halacha and are protected from desecration, willful or not, until burial...
(local Jewish burial society) organise the meals for the mourners, and serve refreshments for visitors. If prayer services
Jewish services
Jewish prayer are the prayer recitations that form part of the observance of Judaism. These prayers, often with instructions and commentary, are found in the siddur, the traditional Jewish prayer book....
are organized in the house of mourning, it is customary for an adult mourner to lead the prayers.
Visiting a shiva home
It is considered a great mitzvahMitzvah
The primary meaning of the Hebrew word refers to precepts and commandments as commanded by God...
(literally "commandment" but usually interpreted as "good deed") of kindness and compassion to pay a home visit (make or pay a shiva call) to the mourners, a practice known as Nichum Aveilim. Traditionally, no greetings are exchanged and visitors wait for the mourners to initiate conversation, or remain silent if the mourners do not do so, out of respect for their bereavement. Once engaged in conversation by the mourners, it is appropriate for visitors to talk about the deceased, sharing stories of his or her life. Some mourners use the shiva as a distraction from their loss, other mourners prefer to openly experience their grief together with friends and family. Upon leaving the shiva house, visitors recite a traditional phrase: "May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem" (In Hebrew, המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים , transliterated as Hamakom y'nachem etchem b'toch sh'ar aveylei tziyon viyrusholayim). In the Sephardic tradition, visitors say: "May heaven comfort you" (Tenachamu Min Hashamayim).It is considered a mitzvah for visitors to bring prepared food for the mourners. The mourner is not expected or obligated to serve food to the visitors, who may eat only if offered food by the mourner.
Shiva minyan
During shiva, a minyanMinyan
A minyan in Judaism refers to the quorum of ten Jewish adults required for certain religious obligations. According to many non-Orthodox streams of Judaism adult females count in the minyan....
(a quorum of ten or more adult male Jews) traditionally gather at the shiva home for services. The services held are like those at a synagogue, except that certain prayers or verses are either added or omitted. On days that the Torah is read
Torah reading
Torah reading is a Jewish religious ritual that involves the public reading of a set of passages from a Torah scroll. The term often refers to the entire ceremony of removing the Torah scroll from the ark, chanting the appropriate excerpt with special cantillation, and returning the scroll to...
in a synagogue, it is likewise read at the shiva home. An effort is made by the community to lend a Torah scroll to the mourner for this purpose. Kaddish
Kaddish
Kaddish is a prayer found in the Jewish prayer service. The central theme of the Kaddish is the magnification and sanctification of God's name. In the liturgy different versions of the Kaddish are used functionally as separators between sections of the service...
is recited during the services; the mourner, if eligible, may recite kaddish.
Other practices
Among SephardicSephardic Judaism
Sephardic law and customs means the practice of Judaism as observed by the Sephardi and Mizrahi Jews, so far as it is peculiar to themselves and not shared with other Jewish groups such as the Ashkenazim...
Jews food is served to the visitors and it is considered a mitzvah to make a blessing on the food in the merit of the deceased. Sephardim believe that every beracha (blessing) said elevates the neshama, (soul) of the deceased. Therefore, one should eat a variety of foods to be able to say more than one beracha. In an Ashkenazic home of mourning, food is not served except for the possibility of a light breakfast as a courtesy to those attending Shaharit (morning prayer) since they generally go straight to work after the service.
Keriah
The torn garment, usually a shirt, jacket or vest that "covers the heart," is worn throughout the shiva period (a practice known as "keriah"; alternative spellings "keriyah", "kria"), except on Shabbat.Leaving the shiva house
Leaving the shiva house is permitted when traveling between two locations where shiva is being observed by different members of the family, in cases of pikuach nefeshPikuach Nefesh
The Hebrew term pikuakh nefesh describes the principle in Jewish law that the preservation of human life overrides virtually any other religious consideration...
, i.e., a human life is in danger, whether that of the mourner or someone else; when something must be done to prevent another person from suffering and no one else can do it, such as caring for a child or an elderly or sick person; to feed or care for one's animals if there is no one else to do so; if another relative for whom the mourner is required to sit shiva dies, the mourner may attend the funeral. Leaving the house is also permitted on Shabbat.
Generally, one does not work or conduct business during shiva, although an exception may be made for those whose duties involve pikuach nefesh (doctors, nurses and emergency medical technician
Emergency medical technician
Emergency Medical Technician or Ambulance Technician are terms used in some countries to denote a healthcare provider of emergency medical services...
s). The same is true for mourners who are liable to suffer serious economic loss. If a mourner shares a business with a partner, and the partner can operate the business alone, the partner shall run the business. The partner is entitled to keep all profits made during the time, but if the partner does not exert additional effort, and the mourner will suffer economic loss, the partner is encouraged to donate the profits to the mourner, considering it tzedaka. A mourner may do the minimal amount of work necessary in order to assure the survival of a business, or if his position is important in meeting the needs of the public and no substitute can be found. This includes elected officials whose work is necessary for the citizens. During the shiva period, the mourner is permitted to give instructions on how to handle business in his absence.
Delayed/withheld notification of death
In the event that due to circumstances that prevent communication, one cannot be notified of a close relative's death in a timely manner, and then one learns of a relative's death following burial, Shiva starts on the day of notification, and ends when other relatives finish Shiva. No make-up days are required.If one learns of a relative's death more than a week following burial, s/he shall sit Shiva starting on the day of notification, if the shloshim period has not elapsed. Shiva shall be a seven-day period, unless the shloshim period ends during this time, or a Yom Tov begins.
If the shloshim period has elapsed, Shiva is not observed. But if the deceased relative is a parent, the recitation of kaddish
Kaddish
Kaddish is a prayer found in the Jewish prayer service. The central theme of the Kaddish is the magnification and sanctification of God's name. In the liturgy different versions of the Kaddish are used functionally as separators between sections of the service...
and yearlong restrictions are in effect.
If one cannot be notified of a relative's death due to mental health deficiencies that make it impossible to comprehend the loss or physical illness that may be severely aggravated by hearing the news, notification is withheld, and the person does not sit shiva.
Marriage to non-Jew
Some Orthodox JewsOrthodox Judaism
Orthodox Judaism , is the approach to Judaism which adheres to the traditional interpretation and application of the laws and ethics of the Torah as legislated in the Talmudic texts by the Sanhedrin and subsequently developed and applied by the later authorities known as the Gaonim, Rishonim, and...
"sit shiva" when a relative marries a non-Jew. It is likely that this practice has its source in a reading of an ambiguous statement regarding the behavior of Rabbenu Gershom toward his son who converted to Christianity.