Directed by Paul Weitz and written by Adam Herz.

Jim's Dad

• I have to admit, you know, I did a fair bit of uh, masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.

• Well, we'll just tell your mother that er, We ate it all.

Chuck Sherman

• I am The Sherminator. I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the future for one lucky lady.

Dialogue

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?

Kevin: You want to take this one?

Oz: Like warm apple pie.

Jim: Yeah?

Oz: Yeah.

Jim: Apple pie, huh?

Oz: Uh huh.

Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

Oz: [On being sensitive to women] All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.

Stifler: I dunno man that...sounds like a lot of work!

Jim's Dad: [about sex] It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun - but it's not a game.

Jim: Right.

Jim's Dad: It's not a game.

Jim: No.

Jim's Dad: What you want is a partner to return the ball. You want a partner, don't you, son?

Jim: Oh yeah, Dad. I wan-I want a partner.

Jim's Dad: Good. Good. That's very good.

Finch: You have anything to drink?

Stifler's Mom: I believe the kegs are upstairs.

Finch: That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.

Stifler's Mom: I've got some scotch.

Finch: Single malt?

Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

Michelle: Oh! And this one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy!

Jim: [taking a drink then realizes what she said and spits it out] Excuse me?

Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cuz I'm getting kind of antsy!

Stifler: There's gonna be an eastern european chick naked in your house and you're not going to do anything about it?

Jim: What am I supposed to do Stifler, broadcast her over the internet?

Stifler: Yeah!

Kevin: You can do that?

Jim: No I can't do that to her.

Stifler: Jim, get some fucking balls. If you can't bring yourself to photograph a naked chick, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one?

Finch: I don't like the kid but he's got a point Jim.

Stifler: See? Even Shit Break knows you should do it.

Taglines

• There's something about your first piece.

• Fill that sticky hole!

• Come again!

• Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets pie.

Cast

• Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
• Chris Klein - Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher
• Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers
• Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
• Shannon Elizabeth - Nadia
• Tara Reid - Vicky Lathum
• Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch
• Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
• Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
• Natasha Lyonne - Jessica
• Mena Suvari - Heather
• Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom
• Chris Owen - Chuck Sherman