Unsourced

• Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

• Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

• Comedy is tragedy plus time.

• Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

• I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

• I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.

• I liked myself better when I wasn't me.

• This is to explain just how your mom turned out to be the kind of hairpin she is.

• We didn't exactly starve, but we were pretty poor when I was growing up. I remember thinking, Oh gosh, if I could just make thirty dollars a month to help with the rent, that would be fabulous. So perhaps I envied performers when I heard that Bing Crosby made twenty dollars a minute.

• When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

• Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.