Charles Dillon "Casey" Stengel (30 July, 1890 – 29 September, 1975) was an American baseball player and manager from the early 1910s into the 1960s. In the 1950s, sportswriters dubbed him with yet another nickname, "The Old Perfessor", for his sharp wit and his ability to talk at length on anything baseball-related. He is regarded as one of baseball's more colourful personalities.

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• Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
  • http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk news/magazine/3555734.stm BBC 'The myths of sex before sport', 12 August, 2004

• The key to good management is keeping the nine guys who hate your guts away from the nine guys who haven't made up their minds.
  • http://www.commongroundnews.org/article.php?id=2316&lan=en&sid=1&sp=0 Common Ground News

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• All I ask is that you bust your heiny on that field.

• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

• Can't anybody here play this game?

• I've been in this game a 100 years, but I see new ways to lose I never knew existed before.
  • On the New York Mets, after the team's poor performance with Stengel as manager
• Look at him - he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't chew, he doesn't stay out late, and he still can't hit .250.
  • On Bobby Richardson.

• Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.

• Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.

• He threw the ball as far from the bat and as close to the plate as possible.
  • On Satchel Paige.

• Hey Heffner, take them down to that other field (St. Petersburg, spring training site) and find out if they can play on the road.

• I couldn't done it without my players.

• I don't know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

• I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

• I don't play cards, I don't play golf, and I don't go to the picture show. All that's left is baseball.

• I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

• If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.

• Kid you're too small. You ought to go out and shine shoes.
  • On Phil Rizzuto.

• Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.

• Most ball games are lost, not won.

• Most people are dead at my age. You could look it up.
  • At age 75.

• Mr., that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

• On his three catchers: "I got one that can throw but can't catch, one that can catch but can't throw, and one who can hit but can't do either."

• Said about Mickey Mantle: "That kid can hit balls over buildings." Berra, Ford, and (Phil Rizzuto) (whom he told: "Kid, you're too small. You ought to go out and shine shoes),"

• Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant.

• There is less wrong with this team than any team I have ever managed.

• The only thing worse than a Mets game is a Mets doubleheader.

• There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.

• There's not much of a secret to it. You put a righthand hitter against a lefthand pitcher and a lefthand hitter against a righthand pitcher, and on cloudy days you use a fastball pitcher.

• They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

• They say you can't do it, but sometimes that doesn't always work.

• They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

• We've got to learn to stay out of triple plays.
  • To the 1962 New York Mets.

Anecdotes

• A poor hitting ballplayer was the object of the following remark: "Mister, that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane."
• Complaining about his team's defense, he said: "I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three."
• Referring to the rookies Ed Kranepool and Greg Goossen in 1964 , Stengel observed, "See that fellow over there? He's 20 years old. In ten years he has a chance to be a star. Now, that fellow over there, he's 20, too. In ten years he has a chance to be 30." Kranepool never became a star, but he did have an 18-year major league career.

• In 1975, he was asked if he would like to return to managing. He responded, "Well, to be perfectly truthful and honest and frank about it, I am 85 years old, which ain't bad, so to be truthful and honest and frank about it, the thing I'd like to be right now is... an astronaut."

Quotes about Stengel

• Casey (Stengel) knew his baseball. He only made it look like he was fooling around. He knew every move that was ever invented and some that we haven't even caught on to yet.
  • Sparky Anderson

• I'll never forget September 6, 1950. I got a letter threatening me, Hank Bauer, Yogi Berra and Johnny Mize. It said if I showed up in uniform against the Red Sox I'd be shot. I turned the letter over to the FBI and told my manager Casey Stengel about it. You know what Casey did? He gave me a different uniform and gave mine to Billy Martin. Can you imagine that! Guess Casey thought it'd be better if Billy got shot.
  • Phil Rizzuto