Constantine Quotations

Constantine is a 2005 horror thriller about irreverent supernatural detective John Constantine, who has literally been to hell and back.

Directed by Francis Lawrence and written by Kevin Brodbin, Mark Bomback and Frank Capello, based on the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer.

Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him.
Taglines

John Constantine

I guess there's a plan for all of us. I had to die … twice … just to figure that out. Like the book says, he works his work in a mysterious ways. Some people like it … some people don't.

Angels and Demons can't cross over into our plane. So instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. A single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch and those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit.

[Flips off demon] For your boss.

[Whispering into the ear of a possessed girl] This is Constantine. John Constantine, asshole.

[Speaking to God] I know I'm not one of your favorites, and I'm not welcomed in your house, but I could use a little attention, please.

[Constantine traps a spider under a cigarette-smoke filled glass] Welcome to my life.

Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we're smack in the middle.

You don't need His protection. It'll be just like the old days.

[As Midnite holds him up against a wall] Is this neutral? Bullshit! You're the only one playing by the rules, Midnite. And while you've been imitating Switzerland, people are dying. [Midnite lets him slump to the ground] Two hundred dollar shirt, by the way.

[After punching Gabriel in the face, knocking her down] It's called pain. Get used to it.

Angela Dodson

I always denied I could see.

When my sister and I were little, we'd leave messages with light and breath.

Should I take the rest of my clothes off, or can I leave them on?

Lucifer

Hello, John. Jooohn, hello.

[About John cutting his wrists] I didn't think you would make the same mistake twice. And you didn't, did you?

[After Constantine slits his wrists and then tries to light up a cigarette] You know, when you cut too deep, you cut the tendons. Finger movement goes out the window.

Sonny, I've got a whole theme park full of red delights for you.

So what do you want? An extension?

This world is mine, in time. You, best of all of us, Gabriel, should understand ambition.

[After Gabriel tries and fails to strike him] Looks like somebody doesn't have your back anymore.

No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. You will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Oh, you will live. You will live …

Others

Balthazar: Word is … you're going down. Fresh meat. [puts fingers in his mouth, hisses, and leans forward] Finger lickin' good.

Balthazar: [after being shot by a projectile of John's Tommy-gun] Fire? I was born of this!

Balthazar: [as he chokes John to death] Don't fight it, Johnny boy, enjoy it.

Beeman: [his last lines] I know you never had much faith, John, you never had much reason to. But that doesn't mean we never had any faith … in you.

Chas Kramer: This is Kramer. Chas Kramer. Asshole.

Chas Kramer: [to midnite's knocked-out bouncer] Who's the rat in a dress now, bitch?

Chas Kramer: [last words] You're right, John. It's not like in the books.

Gabriel: You're going to die young because you smoked 30 cigarettes a day since you were 15 … and you're going to go to hell because of the life you took. [pause, Gabriel leans in] You're fucked.

Father Hennessy: Hey, John, I think I found you one.

Midnite: [after learning of Constantine's cancer] I thought I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling.

Midnite: [shouts] You know the rules of my house! [normal voice] While here you will abide by them.

Midnite: [laughing, to John, regarding Chas] Take him, John. Kill him after.

Possessed Girl: Papatayin natin siya.
- She is speaking in Tagalog (Philippine National Language). In English: "We will kill them."

Dialogue

Chas Kramer: Why would you do that when you know this isn't my car, John?

John Constantine: I told you to move the car.

Chas Kramer: Yeah, but if you'd told me you were going to drop a three-hundred pound mirror with a pissed off demon in it, I would have moved it further, John!

Chas Kramer: When am I going to stop being your slave, John?

John Constantine: You're not my slave, Chas, you're my much appreciated apprentice, just like Tonto, or Robin, or that skinny fellow with the fat friend.

Angela Dodson: [asking Constantine to hold elevator] Hold the door, you're going down.

John Constantine: Not if I can help it.

Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.

John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.

Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself.

John Constantine: I didn't try anything.

Angela Dodson: I don't believe in the devil.

John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.

John Constantine: So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry asses straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my … retirement.

Angela Dodson: I don't understand.

John Constantine: I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go …

Angela Dodson: You're trying to buy your way into heaven.

John Constantine: What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison where half the inmates were put there by you?

Angela Dodson: My sister was murdered last night.

John Constantine: Sorry to hear.

Angela Dodson: Thanks. She jumped off the the roof of a building.

John Constantine: I thought you said she was murdered.

Angela Dodson: Yeah, well, Isabel wouldn't have taken her own life.

John Constantine: Of course. What kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy.

Angela Dodson: [Angela is about to transport into Hell via bathtub and has taken off her jacket] So, is this good, or do I have to take off the rest of my clothes?

[Pause]

Angela Dodson: John?

John Constantine: I'm thinking …

John Constantine: I need you to leave …

Angela Dodson: Okay. [heads for her room]

John Constantine: … the apartment.

[He waits for her to leave and looks down at the cat]

John Constantine: God, I hate this part.

Balthazar: What are you doing?

John Constantine: I'm reading you your last rites.

Balthazar: Spare me your remedial incantations.

John Constantine: You do know what it is to truly be forgiven? To be welcomed into the Kingdom of God. Demon in heaven, I'd love to be a fly on that wall.

Balthazar: You're not a priest. You have no power.

John Constantine: Just tell me how Mammon is crossing over and you can go back to your shit hole. Okay, Bally, enjoy it. [Balthazar relents]

[After Balthazar gives him the information]

John Constantine: By the way … you have to ask for absolution to be forgiven … asshole.

John Constantine: [to a room full of demons] Hi, my name's John, you are in violation of the balance, leave now or you will be deported. All of you. [no reaction]

John Constantine: [John stands on a chair] Go to hell.

Ellie: [John ignites a lighter and places it under a fire-detector, holy water sprinkles down] Holy water?

[The demons' flesh burns and they scream in agony]

Midnite: [as he is strapping John into the electric chair] Are you sure this isn't about a girl?

John Constantine: This is definitely mostly not about the girl.

Midnite: [while John is strapped in the electric chair] Are you sure about this?

John Constantine: No.

[Midnite electrocutes him, John screams]

Gabriel: [Gabriel sits on top of John Constantine, explaining her rebellion] You're handed this precious gift, right? Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator – murderers, rapists, molesters – all of you just have to repent, and God takes you into His bosom. In all the worlds and all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man. It's not fair.

[Gabriel leans closer to Constantine's face]

Gabriel: If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. But it's only in the face of horror that you truly find your noble self – and you can be so noble. So … I will bring you pain. I will bring you horror.

[Gabriel lifts up Constantine from his collar]

Gabriel: So that you may rise above it. So that those of you who will survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God's love.

John Constantine: Gabriel, you're insane!

Gabriel: [smiles] The road to salvation begins tonight. Right now.

[Gabriel blows gently, sending Constantine crashing to the door]

Lucifer: You're the one soul I would come up here to collect myself.

John Constantine: So I've heard.

Lucifer: Sonny, I've got a whole theme park full of red delights for you.

John Constantine: Aren't you a peach.

John Constantine: How's the family?

Lucifer: Family's doing just fine. Busy, busy, busy, busy. Need a vacation.

John Constantine: [regarding Lucifer's son] He's in the other room …

Lucifer: Boys will be boys.

John Constantine: … with Gabriel.

Lucifer: [disgusted] Huh? No accounting for taste, really.

John Constantine: They have the Spear of Destiny.

Lucifer: [mocking, mimicking] "They have the Spear of Destiny." [becomes serious, leans in] Or is it another one of your cons?

Gabriel: Son of perdition. Little horn! Most unclean!

Satan: [nostalgic] I do miss the old names.

Gabriel: I shall smite thee, in His honour.

[Gabriel attempts to punch Lucifer, but is unable. Lucifer looks around and smiles.]

Lucifer: Looks like someone doesn't have your back anymore.

Gabriel: [holding a shotgun against his chest] You want revenge? Go ahead. I deserve it. Pull the trigger.

John Constantine: [takes the gun and punches Gabriel, who feels pain for the first time as a mortal] That's called pain. Get used to it.

Gabriel: [smiling] You could have shot me, John. You chose a higher path.

[Constantine walks out]

Gabriel: [shouting after Constantine] You could have shot me, John! You could have shot me! Look how well you're doing!

Taglines

Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him.

The wager between heaven and hell is on Earth

Cast

Keanu Reeves – John Constantine
Rachel Weisz – Angela Dodson/Isabel Dodson
Shia LaBeouf – Chas Kramer
Djimon Hounsou – Midnite
Max Baker – Beeman
Pruitt Taylor Vince – Father Hennessy
Gavin Rossdale – Balthazar
Tilda Swinton – Gabriel
Peter Stormare – Lucifer