Written by Mike Rich. Directed by Gus Van Sant.

William Forrester

• [to Jamal] What you write in this apartment stays in this apartment. No exceptions.

• The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

• No thinking — that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think!

• My name is William Forrester. [pointing to a 'writers's wall of fame picture] I'm that one.

• Bolt the door, if you're coming in.

• Why is it that the worlds that we write for ourselves are always so much better than the worlds we write for others?

Dialogue

Jamal: Women will sleep with you if you write a book?

Forrester: Women will sleep with you if you write a bad book.

Jamal: I ain't seen nothin' change.

Forrester: You 'ain't seen nothin'? What the hell kind of sentence is that?!

Jamal: Did you ever enter a writin’ contest?

Forrester: Yeah, once.

Jamal: Did you win?

Forrester: Well of course I won!

Jamal: You win like money or somethin’?

Forrester: No.

Jamal: Well, whadchu win?

Forrester: The Pulitzer.

Jamal: I came back to see, if you could help me out with my writing.

Forrester: Here's one: 5,000 words on why you'll stay the fuck out of my home!

Forrester: In some cultures it's good luck to be wearing something inside-out.

Jamal: And you believe that?

Forrester: No, but it's like praying: what do you risk?

Forrester: Paragraph three starts...with a conjunction, "and." You should never start a sentence with a conjunction.

Jamal: Sure you can.

Forrester: No, it's a firm rule.

Jamal: No, it was a firm rule. Sometimes using a conjunction at the start of a sentence makes it stand out. And that may be what the writer's trying to do.

Forrester: And what is the risk?

Jamal: Well the risk is doing it too much. It's a distraction. And it could give your piece a run-on feeling. But for the most part, the rule on using "and" or "but" at the start of a sentence is pretty shaky. Even though it's still taught by too many professors. Some of the best writers have ignored that rule for years, including you.

Jamal: Man, fuck you, William! You wanna know what the real bullshit is? How about you let me take it on this one cause you're too damn scared to walk out that door and do something for somebody else. You're too damn scared, man! That's the only damn reason.

Forrester: You don't know a goddamn thing about reasons; there are no reasons! Reasons why some of us live and why some of us don't! Well, fortunately for you you have decades to figure that out.

Jamal: Yeah, and what's the reason in having a file cabinet full of writing and keeping the shit locked so nobody can read it? What is that man? I'm through with this shit.

Forrester: I have a homeland that I have not seen for too long.

Jamal: Oh, you mean Ireland?

Forrester: Scotland, for God's sakes!

Jamal: I'm messing with you, man!

[While Jamal is typing on Forrester's typewriter]

Forrester: Punch the keys, for God's sake!

[Jamal begins to hit the keys harder]

Forrester: Yes... Yes! You're the man now, dawg!