Friday Quotations

Friday is a 1995 comedy buddy film directed by F. Gary Gray. Starring Ice Cube, Chris Tucker, Nia Long, Bernie Mac, Tom Lister, Jr. and John Witherspoon, the film revolves around 16 hours in the lives of Craig Jones (Ice Cube) and Smokey (Chris Tucker), who must pay $200 to a drug dealer before 10:00 p.m. on Friday night. The protagonists spend the majority of that time sitting on Craig's porch and interacting with their oddball neighbors and friends. The movie was released on the 26th of April 1995 and has since spawned 2 sequels and an animated series.

Mr. Jones

"That was stupid! How the hell did you go and get fired on your day off?"
[After Craig has poured a bowl of cereal before realizing there is no milk in the house] "You better pour some water on that damn shit!"
"Don't nobody go into the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes."
[While watching a movie] "It's yo' asssss, Mr. Postman."
You win some, You lose some. But you live... You live to fight another day. Now you think you a man with that gun in yo hand don't you?

Smokey

[Opening lines] "Listen, I know you don't smoke weed...I know this. But I'ma get you high today. 'Cause it's Friday...you ain't got no job...and you ain't got shit to do!"
[Repeated line] "You got knocked the fuck out!"
[Repeated line] "And you know thisss, maaaaaan"

[One Line]"Damnnnnnnnn!"

Others

Elderly Jehovah's Witness: [After Craig slams the door on her] Well, fuck you! Half-dead motherfucker.

Dialogue

Mr Jones: Craig!

Craig: What?

Mr Jones: Come in here!

[Craig enters bathroom, Mr Jones is spraying air freshener]

Craig: Aw man, I'll wait until you come out.

Mr Jones: Boy, bring yo ass up in here! What you talkin 'bout, you 'wait til I come out'? I smelt yo shit for 22 years...now you can smell mine for 5 minutes.

...Urgh! [plop]

Mr Jones: Now your mama told me what happened to you yesterday.

Craig: ...Wha?...

Mr Jones: That was stupid! ...How the hell you gonna get fired...on your day off?!

Craig: I don't know.

...Urrrgh! [plop]

Mr Jones: Well, you need a trade. Look at that there, over there on the C-C-...urrrgh!...on the counter there. Ughh.

Craig: ...I ain't tryna be no dog-catcher!

Mr Jones: Why not?

Craig: I don't even like dogs.

Mr Jones: That's the beauty of it! I-I grab a dog...and...I-I choke him, and I-I...kick the shit out of him! All day long - my foot up a dog's ass! Yes, BANG BANG BANG up his ass! ...That's my plea-sure!

Craig: ...No thanks.

Mr Jones: Well, I'll tell you one thing. Round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month - the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin a dog. You gotta worry about a dog...catchin YOUR ass!

Smokey: I thought you had the day off yesterday?

Craig: I did.Went in there pick up my check. Came home. Supervisor called me about 4 o clock. Talking about they got me on tape stealing boxes.

Smokey: ...The fuck you doin' stealin boxes for?! What you tryna build a clubhouse? Man I know you didn't go out like that.

Craig: Hell, no, ain't got me on tape! they did...fired me on the spot.

Smokey: Damn! You've got to be one stupid mother-fucker to get fired on your day off!

Ezell: [Feigning a fall in a convenience shop] "Ohhh... Oh my god oh my god oh i'm hurt I'm suing y'all! oh my neck my back my neck and my back ohhh Ohh...I want a hundred and fifty THOUSAND! But we can settle out of court right now, for twenty bucks."

Clerk: Man get your punk ass up. It ain't even wet over here. Damn!

Red: Man! Why ain't ya'll help me?!

Smokey: Shit, I'm high

Red: If that were ya'll I would'a helped ya'll!

Craig: What 'bout the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?!

Smokey: Yea?!

Red: [thinks about it for a second] Oh that was different.

[Craig's father catches him with a handgun]

Mr. Jones: What's that for?

Craig: Protection.

Mr. Jones: Protection from who?

Craig: Me and Smoke... I've got to walk Smokey down to his house.

Mr. Jones: Aw, man... your mother and I never would've moved to this neighborhood if we'd known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.

Craig: You know how it is 'round here.

Mr. Jones: Oh, no, son. That's not the way it is. You kids have been nothin' but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. Too scared to take an ass-whipping. [Raises his fists] This is what makes you a man. When I was growing up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day! Now you think you're a man with a gun in your hands, don't you?

Craig: I'm a man without it.

Mr. Jones: Put the gun down.

[Craig complies]

Mr. Jones: C'mon, put up your dukes.

[Craig raises his fists]

Mr. Jones: Now you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun, too. He found out the hard way. Twenty-two years old. You've got a choice. This is all you need, alright?

Craig and Smokey [after seeing Big Worm's crew's van]: Oh shit!

Smokey: Break Yourself, fool.

Craig: Man, look what you did to my curtain. You better watch whose window you be sneaking in before you get blasted on.

Smokey: With what? You ain't got nothing.

Craig: (pulls out a gun and sticks it in Smokey's face) With this.

Smokey: Whoa, man. Where did you get that from?

Craig: Yo Mama!

Smokey: Fuck You!

Craig: Fuck you.