Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Written by Scott Frank, based on the novel by Elmore Leonard.

Chili Palmer

• I don't think the producer has to do much, outside of maybe knowing a writer.

• Listen, "Touch of Evil"'s playing near my hotel. You wanna go check it out? Watch Charlton Heston play a Mexican?

• Look at me, Leo. I wouldn't think you're that dumb, leave over three hundred grand in the closet, underneath the extra blanket, but I guess you are.

• You know, Welles didn't even wanna do that one. Some studio made him do it. He owed 'em one and all his own movies lost money. But, hey, sometimes that's when you do your best work, you got a gun to your head...

• Rough business this movie business. I may have to go back to loan sharking for a rest.

• Hey, Bear, look at me. Tell your boss I don't ever want to see him again. He made a deal with Harry and a deal's a deal.

• I mean I could see myself in movies Robert De Niro had been in. Or I could maybe do an Al Pacino movie, play a hard-on. But I couldn't see myself in ones, like say the one where the three guys get stuck with a baby. They don't know how to take care of it and you see these big grown-up assholes acting cute...

Harry Zimm

• I produce feature motion pictures, no TV. You mentioned Grotesque? That happened to be Grotesque Part Two that Karen Flores was in. She starred in all three of my "Slime Creatures" releases you might have seen.

• That's half a movie, with holes in it. Maybe forty minutes of screen time. You don't even have a girl, a female lead, and on top of that, there's no one to sympathize with, you don't have a good guy.

• A blockbuster. But quality. No mutants or maniacs. This one's gonna be my "Driving Miss Daisy".

• Every day, same time, they come down here and have breakfast. He has the egg white omelette; she has the banana pancakes. He sits facing west so he can see his billboard. She faces east so she has an excuse to wear the shades.

• Anyway, Murray has this shrink, who also happens to be Martin's personal trainer's shrink. Murray gives the shrink the script and the shrink gives it to Martin's trainer who reads it to Martin while they work out, and Martin flips. Loves it.

• What she did not say was, 'I just loved the way the director moved the camera so much it made me fuckin' seasick.' All she cared about was that look. All she remembered was that look. And why do we remember things in movies? Because we can see them. So... keep this fuckin' camera down here on the ground and shoot this scene, so we can see what the fuck is goin' on, before I get someone over sixteen to fuckin' shoot it for you!

• Man's in town two days, thinks he's David O. fucking Selznick.

Karen Flores

• When I came upstairs, you stayed to finish your drink. I told you to turn off the TV when you were through. Come to think of it, I also told you you could sleep in the maid's room.

• I spent all day crawling out of a grave. The costumer kept bitching 'cause I was ripping my nylons...

• I know I'm better than what I've been doing the last ten years, walking around in a tank top and fuck-me pumps, waiting till it's time to scream.

• Yeah, well Martin is known for his flipping. He flips over a script, and when the time comes to make a deal, he flips out.

• 'It' didn't slip away, Martin, you did... when you went off to fuck Nicki in the middle of my birthday party.

• Movie stars never pick up the check. They have no idea what things cost. Most of them don't know their zip code and a lot don't even know their own phone number.

Other

• Ray "Bones" Barboni: Chili Palmer. Chilly outside. Chili inside. It's a regular fuckin' chili-fest. Hey, waiter, give Mr Chili Pepper a big fuckin' bowl of chili!

• Ray "Bones" Barboni: Yeah well, I hope you drive better than you fucking spell, jack-off. My name is Barboni, not Barbone, okay!

• Ray "Bones" Barboni: They say the fucking smog is the fucking reason you have such beautiful fucking sunsets.

• Martin: I'm glad you rejected me ten years ago when I auditioned for Eddie Solomon, the pedophile clown in Birthday Boy. Had I gotten the part. I might've gotten typecast.

• Bo Catlett: There's nothin' to know. You have an idea, you write down what you wanna say. Then you get somebody to add in the commas and shit where they belong, if you aren't positive yourself. Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words... although I've seen scripts where I know words weren't spelled right and there was hardly any commas in it at all. So I don't think it's too important. Anyway, you come to the last page you write in 'Fade out' and that's the end, you're done.

Dialogue

Chili: So what're you tellin' me, you're never gonna go to sleep again?

Tommy: No, I said I'm never goin' to bed. There's a difference. See, the article says most people die in their beds. I figure long as I stay outta bed, I'm safe.

Ray "Bones": You got a miss. Leo Devoe. Guy's six weeks over.

Chili: He died.

Ray "Bones": How'd you know he died, he tell you?

Chili: [Sarcastically] Yes, Ray, he told me he was dead.

Ray "Bones": Which also means when I speak, I'm speakin' for Jimmy. So e.g. as of now, you start affording me the proper respect.

Chili: 'E.g.' means 'for example', Ray. I think what you wanna say is 'i.e.'

Ray "Bones": Bullshit. E.g. is short for 'ergo'.

Chili: Ask your man here.

Mob Guy: Best a my knowledge, e.g. means 'for example.'

Ray "Bones": E.g., i.e., fuck you. The point is, I say jump, you say okay. Okay?

Chili: What is this?

Attendant: An Oldsmobile Silhouette.

Chili: I reserved a Cadillac.

Attendant: Yeah, well, this one's the Cadillac of minivans.

Chili: Harry Zimm, how you doing? I'm Chili Palmer.

Harry: Jesus, if I have a heart attack, I hope you know what to do.

Chili: Where you been, Harry?

Harry: Have we met? I don't recall.

Chili: We just did. I told you my name's Chili Palmer.

Chili: Harry, look at me.

Harry: I'm looking at you.

Chili: I want you to keep looking right here, okay?

Harry: That's what I'm doing.

Chili: Martin Weir. He played the mob guy that turned snitch in "The Cyclone".

Harry: One of his best parts.

Chili: No, his best part was the cripple gay guy that climbed Mt. Whitney.

Harry: "Ride the Clouds". Good picture.

Chili: So you're thinking what if I was to put you next to my dry cleaner. Ask him if he wants to invest his money in a movie.

Harry: That, or I'm thinking what if some tragic accident were to befall the widow Saffrin...

Chili: I'm not gonna pop her, Harry.

Harry: Just a thought.

Chili: You have a piece of a movie, that's all. You don't have a piece of Harry. He told you we're doing another movie first. And that's the way it's gonna be.

Ronnie: Excuse me. But who the fuck are you?

Chili: I'm the one telling you how it is. That's not too hard to figure out, is it?

Chili: Hey... Karen. How ya' doin'?

Karen: What're you doing here?

Chili: I wanted to come by, apologise for coming into your house like I did last night.

Karen: Lemme get this straight, you broke in again to apologize for breaking in before?

Chili: No, no... you let the patio door open. You gotta stop doin' that, all the nice things you got around here.

Chili: You read Harry's new one? He says it's the best thing he's ever read.

Karen: He must mean after "Slime Creature 3".

Chili: I was never much into it. All that bullshit having to do with respect. It's bad enough having to treat those guys like they're your heroes, having to smile when they make some stupid remark they think's real funny.

Karen: And you think the movie business is any different?

Doris: What a spectacular view.

Harry: Yeah, lovely. Last night I watched two guys carjack a Camero down on the corner of Argyle there.

Chili: Martin, look at me.

Martin: I'm looking at you.

Chili: No, I want you to look at me the way I'm looking at you. Put it in your eyes, 'You're mine, asshole,' without saying it.

Martin: Like this?

Chili: What you're telling me, you're tired? You wanna go to bed?

Martin: Wait. How about this?

Chili: Now you're squinting like you need glasses. Look at me. I'm thinking, You're mine. I fuckin' own you. What I'm not doing is feeling anything about it one way or the other. You understand? You're not a person to me, you're a name in my collection book, a guy owes me money, that's all.

Martin: How about this?

Chili: That's not bad.

Martin: That's what I think of you, asshole. Nothing.

Chili: I believe it.

Cabbie: You ever wanta go to the beach, here's the freeway you take we're coming to.

Ray "Bones": I live in Miami and you want to show me a fuckin' beach? The sun ever come out here, or you have this smog all the time?

Cabbie: They say the smog's the reason we have such beautiful sunsets.

Escobar: Now why would you do that? Put the money in a locker?

Bo Catlett: Because there were a zillion DEA guys hanging around the terminal.

Escobar: A zillion, huh? That's a lot.

Ronnie: The man you're steppin' on belongs to me and my partner.

Ray "Bones": He owes me money.

Ronnie: Get in line, bro.

Ray "Bones": I don't like waiting.

Ronnie: Tough shit, bro. This ain't Miami. You want something, talk to me.

Ray "Bones": Hey, fuckball, I don't need your permission. L.A.'s an open city.

Ronnie: Yeah, well, I just closed it.

Bear: You see the paper?

Bo catlett: I seen it, but I don't believe it. Says Harry shot Ronnie five times. Four to the chest and one through his foot.

Bear: His foot. Jeez, poor Ronnie...

Chili: What kinda food they serve at this Ivy place anyway?

Karen: Continental, but it doesn't matter. Martin won't order from the menu.

Chili: Why not?

Karen: Because a movie star can never order straight from the menu. They have to think of something they have to have that isn't on the menu.

Chili: You don't need that. You want to sit down and talk, it's fine with me. Get this straightened out. How'd you get in here?

Ray "Bones": I told them I was you. I acted stupid and they believed me.

Cast

• John Travolta - Chili Palmer
• Gene Hackman - Harry Zimm
• Rene Russo - Karen Flores
• Danny DeVito - Martin Weir
• Dennis Farina - Ray "Bones" Barboni
• Delroy Lindo - Bo Catlett
• James Gandolfini - Bear
• Jon Gries - Ronnie Wingate
• Renee Props - Nicki
• David Paymer - Leo Devoe
• Martin Ferrero - Tommy Carlo
• Miguel Sandoval - Mr. Escobar
• Jacob Vargas - Yayo Portillo
• Bobby Slayton - Dick Allen
• Linda Hart - Fay Devoe