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• Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can — and will.
  • Playboy interview (1967)

• It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea.
  It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles.
  It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself."
  • The Tonight Show (Summer 1977)

• And so it has come to this: I, uh... am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. I want to thank the gentlemen who've shared this stage with me for thirty years, Mr. Ed McMahon... Mr. Doc Severinsen... and... you people watching, I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you—and I hope when I find something that I want to do, and I think you would like, and come back, that you'll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been. I bid you a very heartfelt good night.
  • Closing words on his final Tonight Show appearance (22 May 1992)