Don't Get Me Started

• And they picketh it up and laideth it in a Ziploc bag
  • About John Bobbitt's penis

• On airlines, so many passengers' faces are buried in John Grisham books, they could be complimentary copies for Grisham Airlines.

The Progressive, Unplugged

• FYI: The Summer of Gay has been extended into the Year of the Queer. Another heads up: Mad Vow Disease, once limited to wholesome, unimpeachable gay couples earnestly seeking to take on the rights and responsibilities of marriage, has jumped the pen and crossed into the general population.
  • Marriage Mishegas

• Like red meat thrown before the Atkins crowd in the Republican Party, the initiative would teach problem solving, negotiating, and listening skills, which might then trickle up to the Bush Administration.
  • Give Me an L

• Like those itinerant clerics who traveled during the summer months and took over for vacationing priests, I hope to help out this summer in Provincetown, but without the pedophilia.
  • I Do Weddings

• The Administration's policy on women is often hard to see because it is written in the font size of pharmaceutical ads.
  • Extreme Makeover

• When the Lord of the Wedding Rings held his no-questions-asked press conference, he said he was sorely "troubled." At last, I thought, an admission. But no, he wasn't talking about his mental condition.
  • Wedded to the Republicans

Unsourced

• Kids love to see me coming. Compared to most of the three-year-olds they know, I am a major slacker. My idea of an educational field trip is to pop them in the car and drive through the car wash screaming.
• Let's get one thing straight. I'm not.
• Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one.