Kim Possible Quotations

Kim Possible is a Disney animated series about a teenage crime fighter of the same name.

Crush

Kim: A naked mole rat? Ron, ever think about getting a normal pet?

Ron: Like what?

Kim: I don't know, something... not naked.

Ron: Tokyo! I love the French!

[Ron fires a grappling hook, which tears his pants off.]

Ron: AH!

Kim: Ron, quit fooling around!

Ron: Okay, I'm going...

[fires a second grappling hook, which tears his shirt off.]

Ron: Oh, c-, are you kidding me?!

Drakken: So, Kim Possible, you think to thwart my plan...!

Shego: Don't stop to tell her the plan!

Mr. Possible: Kimmie, let's not talk about "hotties" at breakfast any more.

[Mrs. Possible comes in]

Mrs. Possible: Who's a hottie?

Mr. Possible: We're not talking about it!

Ron: Hey, I helped with that avalanche too, you know.

Kim: Ron, you STARTED it.

Drakken: Why did she have to be a cheerleader?! If she was on the debate team, I would have vaporized her by now!

Ron: Kim, Drakken's in jail. Christmas was saved! What's the big?

Kim: Okay, first of all, he was not trying to steal Christmas!

Sink or Swim

Mr. Barkin: Stoppable, you know the lay of the land?

Ron: Every rock, every tree, every bloodthirsty tick... it haunts me.

Mr. Barkin: Good. Where's the phone?

[Flashback:]

8-Year-Old Ron: Mom, hey, it's me again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I just called three minutes ago. But I just wanted to ask you one more time... can you please get me out of here?!

[Flash-forward]

Ron: I seem to recall a payphone.

Gill: Oh, I am no longer Gil, now I am Gill!

Ron: ...What's the difference?

Gill: I added an "L". You know, as in gill, as in, these things that grew when I mutated?!

Gill: So, Ron, did you ever hear why they shut down the camp?

Ron: Uhhh... no.

Gill: It turns out - oh, you're gonna love this - the lake had been polluted with runoff from the Science Camp!

[Cuts to Science Camp]

Ron: I thought that was Band Camp.

Gill: No, that's Band Camp.

[Cuts to Band Camp]

Ron: Really? I thought that was Clown Camp.

Gill: No, that's Clown Camp!

[Cuts to Clown Camp]

Ron: Oh, yeah. I loved those clowns.

Kim: Gill, we can get you help. We know a lot of scientists who-

Gill: Science?! Science made me this way!

Ron: Are you sure it wasn't the clowns?

Barkin: This is sick and wrong!

Barkin: CHEESE and CRACKERS, I'm mutatin'!

Gill: He's out on hte lake? My lake? How dumb can he be?

Bonnie: You know, just because you saved us doesn't mean you're not still, you know, you. But it would really stink if that jerk had turned us into mutants. And you were kinda brave, and all.

Ron: [high-fives Rufus] Who rocks?

Bonnie: [sighs] You do.

The New Ron

Kim: Your house sucks up so much power, it's causing blackouts all over Europe.

Senor Senior, Sr.: And these people without power, they are... inconvenienced?

Kim: Very.

Senor Senior, Sr.: You see, Junior, how awful it is to be poor?

Ron: You've got doors that go – that go "whoosh"!

Senor Senior, Jr.: I always wondered about the "whoosh"...

Senor Senior, Sr.: I like the "whoosh." It's the door saying, "I am closed."

Senor Senior, Sr.: The piranha won't be here till Monday, but I assure you, the koi have not been fed in days.

Tick Tick Tick

Barkin: Nobody escapes MY detention! Possible, you're going down!

Downhill

Barkin: Lady, you are...

DNAmy: Special?

Barkin: You are SICK, AND WRONG!!

DNAmy: We could have been so cute together, Stevie. But now you'll know what it's like to be genetically fused with a hairless rodent!

Barkin: STOPPABLE, I NEED PANTS!

Bueno Nacho

Ron: Is that a clip-on tie, Ned?

Ned: [clipping and unclipping tie] For quick removal in the event of a grease fire.

Ron: Oh, no... no, no, not the puppy dog pout!

Drakken: A-ha! Eat magma, Milwaukee!

[He slams his fist down on the "fire" button, but only molten cheese pours out.]

Drakken: Why isn't Milwaukee eating magma? (as molten cheese rises around his ankles) Please do not tell me that this place is actually made of cheese! I thought it was a cheese-covered building!

Sinking Tour Guide: (floating by) Oh, golly, no. You'd be surprised... (gets swamped) BLUB BLUG GLUG...

Number One

Ron: There it is - Killigan's Island... What?

Agent Will Du: I've got no time for games.

Big Daddy: That's too bad. I was going to suggest you and my friend play "Thud."

Will: "Thud"?

[Big Daddy claps; large goon emerges from the shadows; Will Du is tossed through a window.]

Big Daddy: [laughs] I love that game!

Bonnie: In case you're wondering, Kim, that's what giving 130% looks like.

Kim: Careful, Bonnie, I hear when you reach 160, you spontaneously combust!

Mind Games

Kim: You're acting like my life is a piece of cake.

Ron: Let's see, you're pretty, smart, athletic, and popular. Sounds pretty cakey to me!

Kim: Okay, flip mode. Watching wrestling, playing video games, and downing "snackage." It must be brutal being you.

Ron: Try the pressures of raising Rufus as a single parent. And the difficulty in maintaining my image. [Kim gives him a sideways glance] Okay, so I don't have an image yet; but I'm working on it. And frankly, it's exhausting!

Mrs. Possible: As a board-certified neurosurgeon, I've got to say: It's just not possible to swap brains.

Ron as Kim: Point taken, Dr. P, but how else do you explain my bare midriff?

Drakken: Declare me supreme ruler of Earth, or I will neutronolize a different major city, every hour on the hour! That should do it.

Shego: What does "neutronolize" mean, anyway?

Drakken: I have no idea. But the military had it, it was top-secret, that's good enough for me.

Kim as Ron: Ron and I will distract them, while you disarm the neutronolizer...

Ron as Kim: How come, when I finally get to be you, I still end up being the distraction?

Attack of the Killer Bebes

Kim: There's plenty of teams and clubs out there. You could join... the Mathletes!

Ron: Yeah, right! I can't get in that kind of shape!

Kim: How about the debate team?

Ron: Look, I'm not going to argue with you, Kim!

Ron: [mocking Kim] Oh, I'm Kim Possible, I can do anything! ...Except believe in my best friend!

Mr. Possible: Drew dropped out of school and we never saw him again. He never forgave us, and I think, in some small way, we never forgave ourselves.

Kim: For just a giggle fit?

Mr. Possible: Oh no, we laughed looong and hard... with youthful abandon!

Kim: Wade, Ron's missing. Can you find him?

Wade: Do you think I have him microchipped, or something?

Kim: Well, do you?

Wade: [reluctantly] Yeah, hang on...

Royal Pain

Barkin: This is a democracy, people, now DO AS I SAY!

Coach Possible

Ron: It's just a game, KP. With little kids. Who cry when they see you coming!

Monkey Fist Strikes

Dr. Possible: Morning, honey. How'd Cambodia go?

Kim: Mixed. The good part, I rescued a priceless icon from a ferociously snaky, spiky pit. Less good, a ninja stole it.

Dr. Possible: Isn't that just like those darn ninjas?

Lord Monty Fiske: Crazy, you say? Like it was crazy to spend the family fortune on radical genetic mutation and dangerous experimental surgery? Like it was crazy to become a man-monkey WHO VIOLATES EVERY LAW OF NATURE AND SCIENCE?! [calms down] It's a touch unconventional...

Lord Monty Fiske: Bow to my power! I am... MONKEY FIST!

Monkey Fist: And so, monkey hater, we meet again...! [bell chimes] Serenity time, time to center...

Ron: I must become that which I fear most... HEY, MONKEYS! HIT ME!

October 31st

Drakken/Killigan: Kim Possible?!

Killigan: You know her?

Drakken: Know her, hate her. Shego, ATTACK!

Killigan: I WANT MY MONEY!

Drakken: Look, I said I would pay you when the stolen Centurion Project is in my possession. It is not in my possession, therefore, I'm not paying.

Killigan: You... you... you're a criminal!

Drakken: My dear fellow, I repeatedly try to take over the world. OF COURSE I'M CRIMINAL!

Kim: Wade, cool costume...! Wait a second, you're going to leave your room?

Wade: No way, I do it all online.

Alien: Greetings, Anchor Man! I come from a distant star cluster, seeking chocolate!

Wade: Hey, Eugene.

Alien: Aw, how did you know it was me?

Wade: Cross-ref'd your ISP address. I put the candy credits in your mailbox.

Alien: Thanks, Wade! Go in peace.

Killigan: AH, STICK A SOCK IN IT!

All The News

Ron Stoppable: It's an exposé I call...

Editor: "Math: You'll Never Actually Use It In The Real World"

Ron Stoppable: I'm already working on a follow-up piece about semicolons!

Adrena Lynn: Fuh-reaky! (repeated line)

Kimitation Nation

Drakken: [to henchmen] To clone any one of you would be a crime against humanity that even I am incapable of.

The Twin Factor

Kim: [to Ron] Doctor Drakken will see you now.

Dr. Possible: Remember: candy is dandy, but fruit helps you poop.

Drakken: I love this. Hand me a fork.

Shego: [under mind control] Yes, Dr. Drakken!

Drakken: Get me a Dodo bird.

Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken!

Drakken: Psyche! Dodo birds are extinct! Oh, I'm being silly.

[Kim, Ron, and Jim & Tim are about to go on a plane trip]

Kim: Okay. Does anybody need to take care of any business?

Jim & Tim: No.

Ron: "Business"? Like what? Banking?

Kim: Ron, business. As there won't be any "rest-ups".

Ron: Kim, the boys are 10. They don't need to take a nap. I don't think rest is gonna be an issue.

[Rufus climbs up to Ron's ear and whispers to him]

Ron: Oh... right. [pauses] Uh... excuse me. [runs toward the house]

Refus: [When he and Ron are cornered by the mind controlled Kim and Shego] Uh oh, uh unn, oh no, oh no, pain, please no, un uh.

Animal Attraction

Ron: [to Kim] You blue foxes think you know everything!

Monkey Ninjas in Space

Monkey Fist: Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Dr. Possible: There's nothing "cool" about stealing a spacecraft.

Monkey Fist: Oh, really?

Dr. Possible: That's right! In fact, I'd say that it's quite "whack."

Monkey Fist: Doctor, I am guided by the ancient prophesy of the Mystical Monkey Monk... I am not "whack."

Monkey Fist: And from the space station, we shall rule the world! Oh, the weapons on board must be incredible...!

Dr. Possible: There are no weapons on the space station! It's dedicated to peaceful research.

Monkey Fist: Now, that... is "whack."

Ron: Get your stinking paws off me, you filthy monkey!

Low Budget

Ron: Drop it, mama's boy!

Frugal Lucre: Am not! And don't come any closer. This thing's loaded!

Kim: With what?

Frugal Lucre: Beef bullion, if you must know. Ever try to get the smell out? Huh? You can't! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Kim: Ew.

Kim: Alright Lucre, cough up the sausages!

Ron: Ew! Rephrase please!

Frugal Lucre: You might've stopped me this time, Kim Possible, but Frugal Lucre will return! Muahahahaha...! If my mom bails me out.

Grudge Match

Kim: Ron, I'm gonna say something to you I've never said before.

Ron: What?

Kim: You're thinking too much!

Two to Tutor

Shego [watching Junior run the obstacle course] Pretty good time... for a wounded tortoise.

Senior: Hey Junior, I thought we could work on our evil laughs together?

Junior: Father, can you not see I am a wounded porpoise?

Shego: Yeah, I said "tortoise." With a "t." Tuh. Tuh. Tortoise!

Junior: Father, see how confused you make me!

The Ron Factor

Kim: No, no, seriously, you need Ron?

Dr. Director: Status report?

Scientist: Project analysis is complete. The Ron Factor is a non-factor.

Dr. Director: Well, there's a whole bunch of research doll down the drain.

Scientist: Not exactly. The data revealed a powerful untapped force. We call it the Rufus Factor.

Rufus: Hi-yah!

Car Trouble

Ron: Is using a calculator in algebra cheating?

Kim: I don’t use a calculator.

Ron: Okay. Well, is cutting and pasting stuff from the internet and calling it a term paper cheating?

Kim: You are kidding, right?

Ron: What?

Drakken: You think your car's all that, but it's not!

Golden Years

Drakken: What am I supposed to do with an army of retired people...? Ooh, lemon squares!

Ron: Wade! How did you find me? Do you have me microchipped or something?

Wade: Uh... that's not important right now...

Drakken: That's right – your Nana is one bad grand-mother...

Kim: You shut your mouth!

Drakken: I'm only talkin' 'bout Nana!

Drakken: Nana Possible! You think your lemon squares are all that, but they're not!

Vir-tu-Ron

Ron: Looks like the Wraithmaster's captured all the players.

Zita : Come on! We've got to help them!

Ron : Are all girls like this, or just the ones I know?!

Exchange

Ron: Oh, sure, he has looks, attitude, and a bon-diggity ride, but can he do this?

[Stuffs an entire can of chips into his mouth]

Kim: ...Why would he want to?

Ron: Fuji! Why is it always monkeys?! Why can't I ever be attacked by crazed super models?!

Monkey Fist: Let's just bring it, shall we?

Ron: It is my honor to defeat you!

Rufus vs. Commodore Puddles

General: That's it. I'm activating the base's self-destruct sequence.

Kim: Wait, general, we still have one last line of defense.

General: And what's that?

Kim: Me.

Shego: Now what did we agree on?

Drakken: If I wanted a dog I had to promise to take care of him.

Ron: That would be the coolest shot ever... if it weren't for the 2000 ton poodle that has been unleashed into an unsuspecting world.

Kim: I know that this is going to sound weird, but you've got to let us in. There's this monster poodle....

Soldier: Name?

Kim: Commodore Puddles

Soldier: Your name?

Kim: Oh, uh Kim Possible.

Ron: What's the real deal, what are you hiding here?

Simms: I'll show you.

Kim: It's flying saucers.

Ron: Alien technology.

Simms: Yada, yada.

Kim: But that means all the rumors are true!

Simms: Every last one of them. We've implemented a double-negative cover story. We make sure only to leak out information that is one-hundred percent accurate.

Ron: But then it's not really secret.

Simms: That's exactly what we want you to believe.

Ron: Yeah, but then... never mind.

Simms: The secrets in Area 51 must never be exposed

Ron: What secrets? Everybody knows already!

A Very Possible Christmas

Ron: That's it! The absolutely perfect gift for Kim! Christmas with her family!

Wade: Then who will stop Drakken?

Ron: Me!

Wade & Rufus: Uh oh...

Drakken: She'll be busy with her twinkle lights, and mistletoe, and carols... [SNIFF!] and roast beast! And FLIM FLANGLERS!! AND ZOOB ZOOBLERS, AND...!!

Shego: Whoa whoa, Dr. D!

Drakken: WHAT?!

Shego: You stopped using words.

Drakken: Soon, I, Dr. Drakken, will rule the Yule! The world will have a blue Christmas...! (sighs) It's just not the same when I rant to myself.

[Drakken and Ron are fighting over the control panel of Drakken's ship, hitting buttons at random]

Computer: Initiating emergency system test... launching escape pods... initiating self-destruct... initiating bedtime sequence.

[A compartment opens, revealing a toothbruth in a glass, and a teddy bear sitting on a folded set of pajamas.]

Ron: Wait a second! What was that?

Drakken: (shields the bedroom set) I don't know what you're talking about.

Ron: Before the teddy bear!

Computer: Self-destruct in twenty...

Drakken: Gah! What did you do?! This is my chance to rule the world! All I want is what's coming to me! All I want is my fair share!

Ron: SELF-DESTRUCT! SELF-DESTRUCT!

Drakken: Chill out! I have escape pods!

Ron: HAD escape pods, blue boy! We launched them!

[Drakken and Ron are stranded at the North Pole]

Ron: My fault?! It's not my fault!

Drakken: This is so your fault!

Ron: What, I'm supposed to let you take over the world?

Drakken: In the spirit of the season, yes!

Drakken: Ah, it went to voice mail! Um, hello, Shego, Dr. Drakken. I hope you're having a nice vacation. Uh, when you get the chance, could you get up here to the North Pole and save me?! Please! It's cold and windy and dark, and we've got nothing to...!

[Shego is surprised to hear that Drakken has comped her vacation.]

Shego: [reads note] "Shego, just my way of saying thanks for a super year, and Merry Christmas. Yours in evil, Dr. Drakken." Aw, that is so nice! Guess I should have taken his call.

[Drakken and Ron are fighting over the last chicken leg.]

Drakken: [crying] Name your price, Stoppable! Power? Glory? When I take over the world, you can have a continent! Any continent...! Not Europe.

Mrs. Possible: Kimmy! Where's Ron?

Kim: [crying] I... I don't know.

[Drakken, Shego, Ron, and the Possible Family around a fire in an igloo at the north pole]

Drakken: This truce only lasts through the new year. After that, I'm gonna open up a big bag of freak on all of you!

Queen Bebe

Ron: What's the big deal with letting Bonnie be in charge of the dance?

Kim: Letting her chair the dance? She wouldn't settle for chair – she'd want throne.

Ron: Kim's in here somewhere, moving too fast to see!

Bonnie: Uh?! Why does SHE get to be invisible? Is she gonna lord that over me, too?

Kim: If I could just learn to cover more ground faster...

Ron: Or you could just learn to say no.

Kim: I'm not programmed that way, Ron!

Ron: You know, you should cut down on the extra-currics.

Kim: And be a lazy, uninvolved sloth like you?

Ron: Hey! Don't knock the sloth! Do you know they don't have go to the bathroom for a week?

Kim: Er, any more fun sloth facts?

Ron: No, no, I think that's it... Oh! They sleep upside down!

Hidden Talent

Drakken: First, you'll be sealed in a reinforced titanium box. Next, you will be dropped into this bottomless chasm. Then, the chasm will be filled with water. Then, man-eating sharks and a giant squid will then be released into the water!

Shego: Wait, if the chasm is bottomless, how can you fill it with water?

[pause]

Drakken: IT'S VERY, VERY DEEP, ALL RIGHT?!

Return to Camp Wannaweep

Bonnie: Me? Snore? Must have been the crickets.

Kim: Only if you inhaled them.

Bonnie: Stoppable, get back here and save us! Or, more specifically, me!

Go, Team Go

Ron: [to Drakken] Hi, I'm Ron Stoppable. We've met, but you always seem to forget my name.

Aviarius: Heat-seeking hummingbirds, attack!

Kim: Hummingbirds?

Aviarius: Release... the Flamingo of Doom!

Shego: Say what?

Ron: That is the second-biggest flamingo I have ever seen.

Hego: The more we fought evil, the more Shego liked it.

Ron: The fighting?

Kim: The evil.

Ron: [referring to Shego] Has she always been this cranky?

Hego/Mego: Oh, yeah.

Hego: [to Shego] You may be a smart-mouth, prone to excessive violence, but deep down, you are still a member of Team Go: a hero.

The Full Monkey

Ron: The mad dog cannot be caged, leashed-

Kim: Or housebroken.

Ron: That game was in triple overtime, I couldn't leave the court! I got a little excited, and, well, accidents happen.

[Ron accidentally ate dried grasshoppers, mistaking them for potato chips.]

Ron: Crunchy and spicy has never betrayed me like this before!

Barkin: Let's move it, people, time for student photos! Stoppable, none of your punk hand gestures this time.

Ron: What? It was a thumbs-up!

Blush

Wade: Activating parachute measures now! ...Oops!

Ron: Wade! You forgot to put in the parachute!

Wade: Yeah, it's sitting here in my closet!

Drakken: I'm serious, Shego - Kim Possible has foiled my plans for the last time!

Shego: Yeah, the last time today, maybe.

Shego: Huh, he's kinda cute. I approve.

Drakken: What are you, her sister all of a sudden?

Sick Day

Drakken: I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!

The Truth Hurts

Kim: The sky is – blue! My name is – Possible! Pro wrestling is – fake! Nooooo!

Mother's Day

Mama Lipsky: [seeing Drakken's lair] Is this all for your radio show?

Shego: Radio show?

Drakken: Yes... for my... radio show. Uh, I've got to get back to my callers.

[He presses a button and his henchman listen]

Drakken: Hello, listener. My advice to you is, you should... get in touch with your feminine side, yes.

[Henchman look confused]

Drakken: [to Shego] Mother doesn't know I'm a supervillain. She thinks I'm a radio talk show doctor.

[Drakken shows his plans to steal the plasma with a model of the cargo train and describes them to Shego. At the end he snatches the train off its tracks and turns to see his mother.]

Mama Lipsky: Aren't you a little old to be playing with your Peter Puffer Puff toys?

Shego: She's got a point, Choo Choo Boy.

Mama Lipsky: Don't you think it's time you settled down... [points to Shego] and met a nice girl?

Shego: (caught off guard) Oh, um... ICK!!!

[after helping her mother perform brain surgery]

Mrs. Possible: You were a big help in there Kimmie, and you didn't faint once.

Kim: Oh, well, I was too busy throwing up.

Kim: [seeing her mother dressed in the same style of mission outfit as Kim] Mom, this is a mission. I need Ron.

Mrs. Possible: Well, now you don't have Ron. You have Mom.

[Showing the henchmen his plan, Drakken smashes the pickle with his hand]

Mama Lipsky: Drewby, what did I tell you about playing with your food?

Drakken: [embarassed] My food is not a toy. It's for my tummy to enjoy. [Henchmen giggle]

[In the woods as the train with the synthoplasma draws near.]

Mama Lipsky: [points to the sonic disruptor] What is that for?

Drakken: It's for man-in-the-street interviews.

Shego: And where is the street?

Drakken: Zip a lip, Shego.

Drakken: [about Kim] It's a complicated relationship.

Mama Lipsky: She must be a special girl. [to Shego] Looks like you missed your chance with my boy, honey.

Shego: [sarcastically] Yes, how will I ever live with myself?

Dr. Drakken: So, Kim Possible and her, eh... sister?

Mrs. Possible: Is he hitting on me?

Kim: Nah, sidekicks really confuse him.

[On a speeding train.]

Shego: Peter Puffer-Puff's approaching the giant gorge...

Drakken: You're loving this, aren't you?

Mrs. Possible: What would Ron do now?

Kim: Probably cry... or run.

Motor Ed

Motor Ed: Let's do it to it!

Kim: Felix, you go stand watch.

Felix Renton: You mean, "sit" watch.

[Kim claps a hand to her mouth, mortified...]

Felix: Kim? I'm just playing with you.

Kim: Where is Ron?

Motor Ed: Your skinny dude? Yeah, he's here. He's fine. But that can change... in a hurry. Seriously!

Ron: Kim, get over here! And stop by Bueno Nacho drive-thru on your way, I'm starving.

Ed's Sidekick: Oh, yeah, yeah, wait, me too, man! Put me down for a grande peppercino with peppers and mayo? Uh, anybody else want nuthin'?

Wade: (typing) Keep talking, I've almost got a trace...

Motor Ed: Hey, Red? Tell your computer guy not to waste his time on a trace. I'm shooting you a map.

[A fax appears on Wade's machine.]

Wade: He's not as dumb as the hairstyle might lead you to think...

Motor Ed: This is bogus, Red! A man should not be booted off his ride!

Kim: Quit calling me "Red"! Seriously!

Ron Millionaire

Ron: Ah, the Naco. My wondrous and historic creation for the Bueno Nacho corp. Part nacho, part taco, all delicious.

[Ron imagines himself the subject of a black-and-white film, shot at the turn of the century.]

Ron: Possible, come here! I need you.

Kim: (Western accent) Oh, Ronald, it is a wonderment! It will change the world.

Ron: Yes. Yes, it shall.

Kim: Open it, Ron. Maybe the check's big enough for you to grande-size.

[Ron opens the envelope, and his eyes bug out when he sees the check.]

Ron: (stammering) I-it's for nuh-nuh-nuh, ni...

Kim & Bonnie: (looking) NINETY-NINE MILLION DOLLARS?!

Bonnie: (tousling Ron's hair) Ron Stoppable, you are such a hottie!

Ron: Are you saying that because I'm rich?

Bonnie: Uh-huh.

Ron: ...Cool!

Kim: This is way worse than when he got the frou-frou haircut.

Wade: Look at it this way: Ron's lost it much faster than usual, so maybe he'll snap out of it faster too.

Kim: He's calling himself "The Ron."

Wade: Or maybe he's lost to us forever.

Rewriting History

Kim: How could anybody who did so much good go so bad?

Dr. Possible: Ah, don't worry, Kimmie. I'm sure it won't happen to you.

Kim: Dad!

Dr. Possible: Oh, that's not where you were going with this.

Shego: Oh, let me guess, the previous tenant is Professor Dementor?

Drakken: No, it's someone named Demens.

Shego: Doy, that's Dementor's real name.

Drakken: He uses a fake name?

Shego: Ye-aah, can you imagine, Drew Lipsky?

Steal Wheels

Kim Possible: (unexpectedly without plans on a Friday night) I can handle some me time! Really! How pathetic do you think I am?

(cut to later, while she is sitting on the couch, alone)

Kim: I am so pathetic!

Motor Ed: [sees Shego and whistles] Green babe.

[Grabs Shego as if he's about to kiss her]

Motor Ed: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 'Cause, I'll totally walk by again if I have to, seriously.

Shego: Uh-huh, uh-huh, walk... and keep walking!

[Blasts Motor Ed across the room]

Motor Ed: Man, do I dig a woman who can scrap! I think I'm in looove!

Drakken: Must you say "seriously" all the time?!

Motor Ed: Seriously?

Drakken: Yes!

Motor Ed: Yeah, I do! Seriously!

Kim: Motor Ed!

Motor Ed: Red!

Drakken: "Red"?

Kim: Drakken?

Drakken: Kim Possible?!

Kim: How do my foes find each other?

Motor Ed: We're related.

Kim: Seriously?

Motor Ed / Drakken: Seriously.

Motor Ed: [To Shego] Whoa! Babes don't drive, dudes drive, seriously! [Gets blasted by Shego] Man, I love that woman, she's got the green magic!

Shego: Oh, no, no, no. You are not going to jack some kid's wheelchair!

Drakken: News flash, Shego: I'm a bad man.

Ron: Kim, hello! Real life calling!

[Drakken and Motor Ed steal Felix's cyber-robotic wheelchair]

Kim: This is low even for these two.

Ron: Uh, news flash, Kim: they're bad men!

Shego: You actually stole a wheelchair? What's next, candy from a baby?

Drakken: Been there, done that!

Motor Ed: Dude, never get a babe mad when she's driving. It just makes it worse... her driving, I mean. [Shego blasts him with her powers] OW! What'd I say?

Emotion Sickness

Shego: I don't get it. If you're such an evil genius, shouldn't you invent your own stuff? I mean, what's with the stealing?

Drakken: It's called outsourcing, Shego!

Drakken: Who am I kidding? I've never fit into a size six.

Shego: Brrrr. Cold weather: perfect for cuddling. Latte?

Drakken: I like latte, but as to the cuddling... Pasadena.

Shego: Why?

Drakken: Because... uh... because you're freaking me out, that's why!

Ron: Dating could be good, ya know, the date thing... But what if it tanks? It could totally wreck our friendship! No. No! I can't let that happen! Only one thing to do: break up with Kim! Thanks, man. You've been a big help.

Barkin: Stoppable, how did you get in my house?!

Shego: I was thinking it's time for some evil.

Drakken: Evil, you say? You mean "take over the world" type evil or "Drakken goes ouch" evil?

Mrs. Possible: We're just tickled pink about you and Kimmy.

Ron: We are?

Mr. Possible: But not too pink. Time to have a fam-to-Ron talk.

Ron: It is?

Mrs. Possible: We want Kim to be happy.

Ron: We do?

Mr. Possible: If not, it's a one-way ticket on a deep space probe.

Ron: H-how deep?

Mr. Possible: Black hole deep, Ronald.

Ron: Uh... great...

Drakken: Find your own hiding place.

Ron: Oh, right. Like you called dibs.

Drakken: Well, I am now. Dibs! Ha!

Ron: Well, I'm calling double dibs.

Drakken: Agh. Fine. You've won this round with your superior dib calling. But that won't save us from them! [Kim and Shego]

Ron: So that whole crush thing was all the Moodulator?

Kim: No, there's still fireworks.

Ron: You think so?

Kim: [points to fireworks above them] Yeah. Look.

Bonding

Bonnie: What's the matter, K? Too rough out there for you?

Kim: Maybe, Bonnie, if you caught me like you were supposed to...

Bonnie: Was I? I thought you liked flying and falling all over the place!

Kim: What exactly is your problem with me?

Bonnie: Oh, it's always about YOU, isn't it, Kim?

Kim: Today's not your lucky-

[Ron falls on her, allowing Dementor to seize the electronic device.]

Dementor: Correction, today I feel very lucky. So long, farewell, auf wiederschen, GOODBYE!

Mrs. Possible: Interesting. There's a high density molecular process involved in this bonding agent.

Mr. Possible: It's a sticky situation!

Mrs. Possible: Ha! Good one!

Mr. Possible: Thanks.

Kim: So not helping.

[While Ron and Barkin are attached at the hip, Barkin drags Ron to a rugby match.]

Barkin: Feels good! Feels right, doesn't it?

Ron: I can taste my spleen...

[Barkin is doing laps at the gymnasium pool, with Ron attached to his hip.]

Ron: [gasping] You could have planned this a little better!

Barkin: Don't be a water weenie, Stoppable! Only fifty more laps. Big breath, let's go!

Connie: [to Kim/Bonnie] I got all the brains...

Lonnie: I got all the looks...

Connie/Lonnie: ...And Bonnie got the rest!

Kim: Yep, it's Dementor's lair, all right.

Bonnie: How can you tell?

[Kim points]

Bonnie: A gift shop?

Kim: I remember when it used to be about the villainy.

Dementor: You are too late! My men have already unleashed... ZE DACHSUNDS!

Bonnie: We're supposed to be afraid of little wiener dogs?

Kim: You stole the kinetic modulator just to make cocoa?

Dementor: It is very good cocoa!

Bonnie: Hold up, Mr. Bad Accent Guy. Why are you telling us all this? Why don't you just get on with it?

Kim: That's how these things go.

Barkin: I knew this day would come. Just me and the mutant wiener dogs.

Ron: You knew this day would come?

Dementor: When the machine is activated, you will both be vaporized! Poof!

Bonnie: Why are you going to such elaborate measures? Isn't there an easier way to do this?

Kim / Dementor: It's how it's done!

Dementor: Why did you have to break down the door? It wasn't locked, and I just had it painted!

Bad Boy

Drakken: Shego! Do you know what this means?

Shego: You're gonna gorge yourself on corndogs and hork on Dementor again?

Drakken: That was last year and those were funnel cakes!

Good Drakken: I never joke about cocoa-moo!

Shego: Cocoa-moo?

Good Drakken: It's uses are limitless! Pudding, cookie dough, foot massages...

Good Drakken: Mmmmm, that's good cocoa-moo!

Kim: Wade, I need you to keep an eye on Ron. You've still got him chipped, right?

Wade: Kim, we talked about the ethical ramifications of that...

Kim: Wade...

Wade: Yeah, okay.

Kim: Please and thank you!

Good Drakken: Ha-ha-ha! Had enough yet? I think you're quite finished! [emerges from the kitchen] Who wants peanut butter stickies?

Shego: This is sick and wrong on so many levels!

Evil Ron: Kim Possible!

Kim: Since when do you use my last name?

Evil Ron: Since I realized my full evil potential!

Kim: Ron, you've got to stop! Evil isn't your thing, it's Drakken's thing!

Evil Ron: Oh, but I'm so much better at it! Did Drakken ever build a plasma blaster of this stature? Did he?!

Good Drakken: I did not.

Shego: You didn't. Who knew the buffoon was a natural?

[Ron opens a shark tank under Shego]

Evil Ron: Sidekicks need to know their place... right?

Shego: Uh... uh... you got it! Uh, I'll just go check the security monitors. Hey, you know that evil laugh of yours? I-I love it! Loooove it!

Kim: I never thought I would be saying this. But, Dr. Drakken: I'm counting on you.

Evil Ron: We've got an intruder! Kim Possible! Get ready for a smackdown in my town!

Shego: She's not on the monitors. How-how do you know?

Evil Ron: Been doing a little "scannage" for the Kimmunicator's frequency!

Shego: Rrrggh! Now why didn't he [Drakken] ever think of that?!

Evil Ron: That's why I'm the big dog. WOOF WOOF, BARK!

Evil Ron: Welcome, Kimberly Ann Possible!

Kim: The middle name is so overkill.

Evil Ron: Overkill? Isn't that the idea? A-booyahahahaha!

Drakken: [back to normal] You ditched me for that?

Shego: Did you see his mega-weather generator?!

Drakken: You think you're all that, but you're-!

[Drakken gasps as his lair explodes.]

Showdown at the "Crooked D"

[After Joss, Kim's obsessed cousin, recognizes Rufus, but not Ron.]

Ron: This is the pocket that Rufus comes out of!

Joss: Uh... oh, yeah! You're the one who's always losing his drawers.

Ron: Oh, sure, you save the world on a regular basis, and no one remembers your name. But you lose your pants six or eight times, and they never let you live it down!

Dimension Twist

Shego: You always got to be the hero?

Kim: You always got to be a pain?

Contestant: Can I pick Kim twice?

Drakken: How come no one ever picks me?

Contestant: 'Cause you're the creepy blue guy!

Evil Eye for the Bad Guy Host #1: Blue is so last season.

Evil Eye for the Bad Guy Host #2: This year is evil umber!

Doctor: Blue skin? That means he's not breathing! Quick, somebody, get the jaws of life!

Overdue

Ron: How many times is someone gonna feed me sheep's lungs cooked in its own stomach, before they get that I don't like it?!

Shego: Where's Possible?

Ron: SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!

Shego: Whoa there, never said she was.

Ron: Ooh... Heh-heh, awkward...

Kim: [over the Kimmunicator] Hey, Wade.

Wade: What's up, Kim?

Kim: Have you heard from Ron? I haven't seen him all day.

[On the "Wadebot" monitor, Ron is running from a giant mutant flower.]

Ron: AH! AH! IT'S GOT ME! OH MAN, IT'S GOT ME...!

Wade: Ron? Uh... haven't heard a peep.

Dementor: [laughing] With my mutagenic plants, I shall grow a new world! A world that I control!

Ron: OW! THORNS! OH, THEY HURT WHEN THEY'RE POKING! OW!

Monkey Fist: Ron Stoppable...

Ron: You're the only one who ever gets my name right; I respect that.

Roachie

Ron: Sinking! Sinking! Oh man, now the tugging! Why is there tugging?!

Rappin' Drakken

Drakken: You know, after a scheme goes south, nothing cheers me up like kareoke night!

Drakken: Shego, that's it! Yes! Really, no this time, trust me!

Shego: What?

Drakken: And here I thought I was the evil genius! You're brilliant!

Shego: What are you talking about?

Drakken: Who needs M.C.-what's-her-name...?

Shego: Oh, no...

Drakken: I can make sure that my shampoo is most wanted!

Shego: Oh, please no...

Drakken: I will become... A HIP-HOP STAR!

Ron: You can't spell inspiration without procrastination!

Kim: Eh... Yes, you can.

Ron: Not the "ation" part. Booyah!

Team Impossible

Drakken: You think you're all that, but they are!

Dash DaMont: I thought you were supposed to be some kind of Master of Monkey Kung Fu?

Ron: You know, it's funny, it comes and goes...

Dash DaMont: [preparing to fight Kim] I wish there was some other way...

Ron: Really?

Dash DaMont: No, I'm told we should always say that, for legal reasons.

Gorilla Fist

[On a "gravy ghost" haunting the school cafeteria]

Wade: I don't know what to tell you, Kim. After watching the cafeteria security tape, I can't explain what happened either.

Kim: Did you analyze the gravy sample?

Wade: Yup.

Monique: And?

Wade: You don't want to know. [pauses] Not till graduation. [pauses] From college.

Monique: I say we trust him on the gravy.

Ron: [walking in] Nacos, plenty of Diablo sauce and some snackies...

Kim: Sneaking Bueno Nacho into school?

Ron: Hey, KP! No, just picked up some snacks for a, erm, er... field trip [looks around guiltily]

Kim: Field trip?

[Yori enters]

Yori: Everything is ready, Stoppable-Son.

Ron: Yori! [nervously] Ha-ha, um Yori, this is Kim and Monique.

[Kim and Monique look sceptically at him]

Yori: Ah! Kim Possible! [She bows] I have heard much!

Kim: Really? I haven't. [Glares at Ron]

Ron: Oh... sure, KP... you know Yori from seventh period History? No, no she's an old pal from Camp Wannaweep...

[Pause]

Ron: We never met actually. What do you want? Who are you, stranger I do not know?

Kim: But you just said her name is Yori.

Ron: [nervously] Yori, well, it's a common name... ya know... in Japan... Well, I... I... I gotta go! Bye!

[Pulls Yori off with him]

Kim: Well that was weird.

Monique: Secret girlfriend weird?

Kim: No! He'd tell me! I mean... why wouldn't he?

Monique: 'Cause you'd go all jell.

Kim: "Jell"?

Monique: Green-eyed.

Kim: So? I've always had green eyes.

Monique: Jealous. You're jelling!

Kim: I am not jelling!

Monique: Uh-huh.

Kim: It's just that my weird-ar's going off, that's all.

Monique: And you're jelling.

Kim: So not!

Yori: According to the map, we should be very near.

Ron: Oh, good. Then it will be my honor to collapse from exhaustion.

Wade: Does the name "Yamanouchi" mean anything to you?

Kim: That school in Japan that Ron went to last year?

Wade: Turns out it's a super-secret school...

Kim: I knew he crushed on someone while he was there!

Wade: That wasn't what I...

Kim: What? You think I'm jelling? I'm not jelling! Why would I jell?

Wade: Right...

Yori: Oh, Stoppable-san, you make danger comical with your American-style buffoonery.

Ron: If she liked me, then why couldn't she just say so? I mean, she was being all ninja about it.

Kim: (awkwardly) Well... you got me.

And the Molerat Will Be CGI

Kim: I love what you’re wearing.

Heather: Girl, I totally know what you are saying. I had this man who would not leave me alone, he was practically stalking me.

Monique: Get out!

Heather: I won’t! If he hadn’t been my husband it would have been creepy.

Mr. Possible: Honey, you know how I feel about "show people."

Mrs. Possible: They're just like you and me. Except they're wealthy, beautiful and live by no recognizable moral code!

Ill Suited

Dementor: I am impressed, Fräulein Possible. How did you know I would be here?

Kim: Uh, your "To Do" list helped.

Dementor: D'oh! I dropped that when I stole the ultrasonic drill, yes?

Kim: Yeah, mmm-hmm, you did. And thanks for making our job that much easier.

Ron: (reading list) "Steal ultrasonic drill; break into top-secret lab; call Mother; conquer world..."

Dementor: Ah, I knew I was forgetting something! Mama gets so cross when I don't jingle.

Bonnie: But you're a cheerleader! Cheerleaders are supposed to date jocks. It's non-optional. It's like a rule!

Kim: Ron's the exception to the rule.

Bonnie: He's the reason for the rule!

[after Dementor reveals his trap]

Ron: Dude, you're totally wearing a dress.

Dementor: It's a house coat!

Kim: I have been foiled by a man in a dress?

Dementor: IT'S A HOUSE COAT!!!

Ron: The first rule of chess club: never talk about chess club.

Ron: Wait, wait, it's not what you think!

Kim: Oh, so you're NOT a cheater, a liar and a thief?!

Ron: Okay, it IS what you think...

Dementor: All your battle-suit now belong to me!

Ron: So you weren't gonna...

Kim: Trade up my BF? Ron I don't care about dating a jock, I care about dating you, Ron Stoppable, no matter who he is – as long as he's honest.

Bonnie: Gee, Kim, is that your boyfriend out there running like a sick chicken?

Kim: (proudly) Yeah, that's my guy.

Kim: You do me proud, Ron Stoppable, by just being you.

Ron: Yeah. Who knew my mad running-away skills would have real-world applications?

The Big Job

Kim: Ron, this is ludicrous!

Ron: I know! You'd think a swank joint like this could spring for a real box of crayons! Oh, and watch your vocab, Kim, "ludicrous" is kind of a grownup word. Remember, you're 12, so maybe "doofy" or "stupido"?

Monique: If the stuff in that coupon book was worth anything, they wouldn't be giving it away.

Ron: I won't dignify that with a response!

Monique: Cause you don't have one.

Ron: Well duh! Why else do you pull that line?

Shego: I don't do cakes, okay? I don't bake 'em, and I don't jump out of 'em!

Junior: There did not seem to be this many cars on the map.

Shego: Jus-just stop the car! I'll get the book.

Junior: But I thought we'd steal it perfectly together?

Shego: Yes I'll steal it... perfectly, and you'll find a space... perfectly.

Junior: Perfect!

Monique: You know Ron, if you had a job, then you'd have--

Ron: Impossible hours?

Monique: No-

Ron: Mean bosses?

Monique: No!

Ron: On the job injuries?

Monique: NO!!! MONEY! You'd have mad money!

Ron: [Pauses] Oh, that reminds me - Kim, can I borrow 5 bucks?

Martin Smarty: I like to reward people who save my life.

Ron: And I like to be rewarded... you hear that, KP? A reward! He-he-he!

Martin Smarty: How about a job?

Ron: Maybe we have different thoughts on that word "reward"...

Frugal Lucre: [to Drakken] Oh! Oh! Or we could put state-of-the-art robotic technology in kiddie meals all over the world! Can you hear me okay through that pillow?

Trading Faces

Jim & Tim: [first lines in the season; dressed in radiation suits] You didn't open the dryer, did you? Our experiment... you ruined it!

Tim: [as Mrs. Possible goes to pick up the cheerleader outfit] I wouldn't do that.

Jim: [holds up a pair of tongs] Not without these!

Jim & Tim: Which way to homeroom?

Kim: Homeroom? What do you mean, homeroom?

Tim: That room you go to before you go to your other classes?

Jim: You'd think a senior would know the basics?

[Tim nods in agreement]

Ron: Try middle school... about four miles... [Points to his left] That way.

Jim: We're not in middle school anymore.

Tim: We've been skipped ahead!

Jim: We're freshmen!

Tim: We're here!

[outside, the whole school shakes as Kim...]

Kim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kim: There is no way you two are freshmen! [breaks conversation to wave at someone] Hey Amanda, see you in science. [returns] It must be a mistake... and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!

Tim: Miss Guide is our S.K.I.P. Counselor!

Kim: And S.K.I.P. is...?

Miss Guide: "Superior Knowledge & Intelligence Placement." A pilot program. Your brothers tested at high school level, so they're being enrolled as freshmen. I will be observing the transition!

Kim: So this is really happening?

Miss Guide: [with an exaggerated smile] Exciting, isn't it?

Kim: [through an exaggerated happy face] Oh, I can't begin to describe my feelings!

Ron: I get showed up on every mission we go on, you don't hear me whining!

[Kim and Monique give him a sideways glance]

Ron: I could whine more... A lot more!

Barkin: Listen up, cafeterians. In compliance with district guidelines, we have been ordered to divulge to you the contents of mystery meat.

[film reel begins playing]

Film announcer: Mystery Meat: from the slaughterhouse to your house...

[scene cuts to all the students running out of the school screaming]

Ron: I knew there were snouts!

Camille: There are plenty of suspects: One, Star Lette: her last three movies tanked. Two, The Holston Twins: they fell to number 3 on the "World's Richest Kids" list. Three, M.C. Honey: things must be bad, I hear she flew commercial.

Jim: Thanks for the ride, Mr. Sinclair.

Sinclair: It's the least I could do after you tutored my Kenny with calculus.

Tim: Derivates of inverse functions, so not the drama.

Kim: Huh?! Can you not?

Tim: You can use "hicka bicka boo"!

Kim: Why would I?

Jim: So you could be cool.

Kim: I am cool!

Kim: [about Jim & Tim] They're old enough to be in high school but not old enough to stay home by themselves?

Mr. Possible: Not without vaporizing the garage.

Kim: I'm sorry you must be this [holds her hand high above their heads] tall to ride.

Kim: [repeated line] Height limit.

Tim/Jim: And then when we were on a trip to Yosemite...

Kim: [gasps] No... not the poison oak story!

Camille: It's so hard to be me.

Kim: Oh, Ron. I'm not a model.

Ron: Why not? You're beautiful.

(Kim is left speechless, then looks at him and smiles)

Ron: She's not in wardrobe. Hey look, I'm already here.

Kim: Two Rons... but only one (calls out) Rufus!

M.C. Honey: Say what?

Camille: But I can't be seen buying socks! Eww! Socks are gross.

Britina: Camille?

Camille: Brit, I came as soon as I heard.

Britina: But I called you three days ago.

Camille: Silly, my callback list was epic this week. It's so hard to be me.

Britina: These are BFF's from way back, Kim Possible and... (turns to Ron) this guy, who's usually with her.

Camille: Kim Possible! I wore your look once - for about five minutes.

Jim I'll be the bad cop.

Tim No way... I'm playing bad cop.

Bofox (First lines) Are you me 3:30 tummy tuck?

Jim This guy's all talk.

Tim Radical techniques... as if.

Bofox Oh really... Nano-Morphing radical enough for you?

Jim & Tim: Nano-Morphing? Shapeshifting!

Kim: M.C. Honey?

Jim & Tim: It's not M.C. Honey, Kim... it's Camille... she's a plastic surgery experiment. She's a shapeshifter!

["Honey" shape-shifts into Camille. Kim and the whole audience gasp.]

Camille: Oh, like you're a model!

Ron: (attempting to stop Camille, disguised as him) I got me.

(Ron fumbles into a clothing rack)

Ron: You know, I'm surprisingly nimble for an heiress.

Camille: (as she is being arrested) Do you know who I am?

Ron: Lady, the real question is, do you know who you are?

Jim & Tim: Hick-a-bick-a-boo?

Kim: Hoo sha!

[she hugs them]

Miss Guide: [confused] How do you spell Hoo sha?

The Cupid Effect

Wade: Shouldn't I just be myself?

Ron: No, that only works in cartoons.

Wade: Apparently impersonating a President is against mall regulations!

Junior: We should steal the device and use it for our own evil ends!

Senior: Junior, you came up with that evil plan all on your own! I am... so proud.

Junior: [giggling] I was looking over your shoulder, he-he-he!

Senior: Junior, that was cheating! I am... so proud.

Senior: Your genius cannot beat my evil or my treachery. Oh, by the way, have you met my bodyguards, Evil and Treachery?

[Wade reads a love note for Monique that Ron gave him]

Wade: The humble earthworm is vital to agriculture, it moves through the soil by excreting lubricating mucus.

Kim and Monique: Eww!

Ron: Wait! That's my biology report! Oh no! That means...

[Cut to Mr. Barkin grading Ron's "biology report"]

Barkin: [sniffs] That's a beautiful thought. A-plus, Stoppable!

[Seeing Wade's new girlfriend, Olivia, use a "Cupid Ray" on him.]

Ron: Er, you don't think Kim's got one of those?

Rufus: I dunno.

Kim: [from behind]: Hey, Ron.

[Ron and Rufus scream and cower]

Kim: What are you doing?

Ron: Nothing!

Kim: You're weird!

Ron: Kim!

Kim: Shh, [romantically] I like weird!

Car Alarm

Drakken: [about Frugal Lucre] All the prisons in the world, and I got stuck with the blabber-mouth!

Drakken: [after seeing Motor Ed] I knew I could count on family. Freedom is at hand! No more lockdown, no more prison food, and no more yakkity-blab from you, Lucre.

Shego: I got an early parole. Only here to say "hi."

Frugal Lucre: Listen, if it's any consolation on the whole "counting on family" front, I'm still waiting for my mother to post my bail!

Kim: Motor Ed and Shego? Why would they be working together?

Ron: Well, I mean weirder things have happened. Just look at us!

Kim: True, but there's a major diff between "weird" and "wrong on all levels."

Jim/Tim: [to Kim] We can get your car running!

Ron: Hmmm, ya know, they did build a spacecraft out of a lawn mower, a toaster, and well ya know, rocket parts, but still it worked, kind of!

Kim: Boys. They're ALL tweebs!

Kim: Okay, here's the deal. I may have to drive you to school, but that doesn't mean I have to be seen with you. So duck, or walk.

Jim/Tim: Aww...

Kim: NOW!

[Jim and Tim duck their heads. Kim starts the car, but sees the passenger seat empty.]

Kim: Ron, not you! [Ron pops up.]

Ron: It's as fast as a rocket!

Jim/Tim: Hicka-Bicka-DUHH!

Shego: Great, Kimmie gets a car and she's everywhere... like bacteria.

Ron: [attacked by crows... yet again] Not now, this is just so random!

[Motor Ed reveals his "awesome" plan: a cross-country road trip in a hyper-sonic vehicle with "a hot babe."

Shego: Wait, you mean I'm here because I'm an ornament?!

Motor Ed: Not! The fuzzy dice are an ornament. You... are an accessory.

Mad Dogs & Aliens

Ron: Shego has credit cards?

Wade: And a surprisingly good credit score for a villain.

Jim & Tim: Hicka Bicka bow wow!

Drakken: You can't possibly be all that, Kim Possible! You're not, you're not, you're not!

Frugal Lucre: So anyway, I was in line behind Big Tony, you know with the glandular problem, and he takes two puddings, two! And the guards didn't even bust him for it. I tell you, the money this prison wastes, its criminal!

Shego: There's no way I'm gonna let this she-thing just waltz in here and destroy Kimmie! That's MY job! Ya hear me?

Motor Ed: [after a VERY long description of his latest ride, followed by an air-guitar solo] Know what I'm saying?

Frugal Lucre: NO! I have no idea what you're saying! You just go on and on and on and on about things no one even cares about!

Motor Ed: Dude, you're harshing my prison mellow here, seriously.

Frugal Lucre: And would you stop saying that word?! Seriously!

Grande Size Me

[Barkin berates the unhealthy-ness of Bueno Nacho]

Ron: LIES!

Kim: Whoop! Whoop! Over-reaction alert!

Ron: It's your worst nightmare!

Barkin: You mean the one with Abe Lincoln and the pool sharks?

Jack Hench: That's the downside with working with villians, they are always stealing your stuff! Oh, that reminds me, has anyone seen my stapler?

Ron: [out of breath] K... P! Okay... who wants a piece... of me?

Drakken: Ooh, something is different about him...

Killigan: Gawd, what have you done to yerself? You look ghastly, man!

Monkey Fist: You really should take better care of yourself!

Drakken: Kim Possible, you have something that doesn't belong to you. Well, technically, it doesn't belong to me either, but I'm a villain, so I don't particularly care!

Ned: Ron, this isn't like you!

[Mutated Ron drinks whole vat of cheese.]

Ned: OK maybe that is like you.

Kim: Wade, we have a major Ron problem, here!

Wade: You mean the fact that he's been turned into a fifteen foot tall rampaging behemoth?

Kim: Wade? What are you doing in France?

Wade: Uh, I'm here to fix the internet? It's broken.

Monique: Isn't the internet everywhere?

Ron: Not when it breaks into pieces!

Mutated Ron: [On seeing a giant metal donut] Ahh, donut... Ron want! [bites it] Ow! Ow! Donut hurt Ron! Ron smash!! [The metal donut detaches from the stand and rolls down a hill] Oh, no... donut run away... come back, donut!!

Mutated Ron: [On seeing a giant clown statue] Ron hate clowns!

[from behind it Kim shoots a roast chicken at him]

Mutated Ron: Clown throw chicken? Ron smash!!

Clothes-Minded

Ron: Ow! Ow! The hot, steamy badness!

[While Kim is fighting Shego, Drakken's machine works]

Kim: It actually works!

Shego: Hey I'm just as shocked as you.

Ron: You'll never get away with this, Drakken!

Drakken: What?! Why?! What do you know?

Ron: Oh... oh, nothing. It just seemed like the thing to say.

Drakken: You think your new mission clothes are all that, but they're not!

Big Bother

Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?

Wade: Got a hit on the site from the Yamanouchi School in Japan.

Ron: Yamanouchi... Yori?

Wade: Yeah, she said she needs Stoppable-san right away!

Ron: (seeing Kim's expression) Wade, you'd better fill in some blanks, pronto!

Wade: ...To help her! Both of you! Including Kim! Who she asked about... fondly!

Ron: (whistles) Nice save.

Barkin: [sees Ron at his front door] Stoppable, how many times do I have to say it? Home time is my time. Doubly so at BATH TIME!

Ron: Nobody spits up into my backpack except Rufus...! And sometimes me.

[Ron turns in his assignment for Health Class, returning his "Flour Baby" after replacing it thirty-plus times.]

Barkin: F-minus.

Ron: What?! But... but she's in perfect shape!

Barkin: She's sugar!

[The entire class laughs.]

Fashion Victim

Ron: Well, I wasn't the one talking into a chicken... ya know, this time.

Stop Team Go

Mr. Possible: Jim, Tim, scoot over and make some room for your sister's arch foe.

Shego: Mmmmmm! That's good cocoa-moo!

Electronique: How did the four of you ever manage to get anything done?

Hego/Mego/Wego: Shego.

Hego: She had a way of keeping things focused. When she left, the team sort of... fell apart.

Hego: [notices Ron was hit by personality reverser] What happened to him?

Shego: I think he's evil now.

Hego: Oh. How bad can that be?

Shego: You'd be... surprised.

Evil Ron: [to Electronique] You're going about this all wrong; You're acting like an evil poser!

Electronique: You want to see my power?!

[charges up and fires multiple times. Ron avoids beams and steals personality reverser]

Evil Ron: Ooooohhh, someone's a little touchy! You couldn't even figure out that the first person you should have used this on... [aims personality reverser] ...was Kim Possible!

Cap'n Drakken

Kim: Are you going to complain the entire time, Bonnie?

Bonnie: Somebody has to!

Franklin Barkin: Dost thou take me for a cock's comb, lad?

Ron: Uh, I'm... not... sure?

Ron: Oooh no, I'm not gonna be caught wearing a dress... you know, again.

Drakken: You think you're all that lass, but nay, 'tis not so!

Mathter and Fervent

[Ron has to find a "hero" to write about, and has to rule out Kim, or her parents.]

Kim: You know, I'm not the only one of us with parents.

Ron: Mom swore off school projects after the paper-machete incident.

Kim: Don't you mean, "paper mache"?

Ron: I wish I did, Kim. I wish I did.

[In the Go Tower, Hego receives an emergency call from the Mayor.]

Mayor: (lisping) Lookth like we've got uth a sithuation, Hego! Your old numerical nemethith is thcaring the thpit out of the thitithens of Go Thity!

Hego: You don't mean...?

Mayor: Yeth, Hego... the Mathter!

Ron: The Mathter?

Kim: Ron, don't make fun! He means "The Master."

Hego: No, he means "The Mathter."

Mayor: That's what I thaid, ithn't it? The Mathter!

The Mathter: Time to subtract you from this equation.

The Mathter: Let me throw some numbers at you.

Wade: Uh-oh!

Ron: "Uh-oh" good or "uh-oh" bad?

Kim: When is "uh-oh" ever good?

Ron: I don't know, maybe THIS TIME?

[Ron has to go to school inside an "anti-matter" ball.]

Ron: Oh, yeah! This is how I roll!

Kim: Um, okay, maybe the whole trying-to-act-cool thing isn't your best option right now.

Ron: Look, KP, you wanted me to make the best of things, didn't you?

[They both freeze when they catch sight of Bonnie. She walks up to them.]

Bonnie: ...No. It's too easy.

[after spending a day at school as "Anti-Matter Boy"]

Ron: Most Humiliating Day of my Life? A-ding-ding-ding! We have a new winner!

Kim: What about the time you parachuted into the U.N. without your pants?

Ron: Not even close. The "I'm all about comfort" excuse brought the Security Council dress code into the 21st century.

Kim: See? There's an upside to everything. [Kimmunicator beeps] We need an upside, Wade!

Kim: Time to crunch your numbers.

Kim: [to the Mathter] Okay, one more lame-o math reference, and I am going to LOSE IT!

The Mathter: And what kind of hero are you?

Mr. Stoppable: I'm no hero. I'm Actuary of the Year.

Kim: [seeing the math fight between Mr. Stoppable and The Mathter] Okay, did you have any idea your father had it in him?

Ron: No, but who knew we'd be fighting a crazed math villain?

Kim: Yep, so convenient.

[watching the battle between the Mathter and Mr. Stoppable]

Ron: See? They should totally teach this way in Trig!

Kim: Totally.

The Mathter: [defeated by Mr. Stoppable] How were you ever able to calculate my every move?

Mr. Stoppable: It was easy. I did the math.

[When he is freed from the anti-matter ball, Ron and Kim hug.]

Ron: Oh yeah, that's nice.

Kim: I was starting to think I was never going to do that again.

[Last lines]

Mr. Barkin: Interesting report you turned in there, Stoppable. Your dad, a.k.a "Hero", is a member of the Middleton Search and Rescue?

Ron: Yep.

Mr Barkin: He also volunteers at the local fire department!

Ron: Affirmative.

Mr Barkin: And while in the confines of a certain "infinity dome" he can convert pure mathematical thought into blasts of energy that fire out of his skull?!

Ron: [Nervously] Yeah, it's an actuary thing.

Mr. Barkin: I see... YOUR DAD ROCKS! A+!

Mentor of our Discontent

Artie Smarty: [first lines] What up, Punk Breath?

Ron: Artie my main man, well I'm Ron.

Artie Smarty: [childishly imitating him] I'm Ron.

Ron: Er yeah that's what I said.

Artie Smarty: [Now spitefully] Er yeah that's what I said.

Ron & Artie: [in stereo] Hey stop that.

Ron & Artie: [in stereo] Stop saying what I'm saying.

Ron: KP! He can't...[Artie takes off]

Artie Smarty: [on seeing Rufus] Hey, little naked dude. [waves to him]

Artie Smarty: Too bad... So sad. [pretends to cry] Wah... Wah... Wah

Artie Smarty: [Overjoyed on seeing baby Otters] OTTERS!

[goes to hug them but contains himself]

Artie Smarty: Er... cool.

Ron: I'm not cut out to help people make life choices.

Kim: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. After all, you helped me choose you!

Ron: Okay, that time I was a genius.

Rufus: Yuck!

Martin Smarty: Oh, look at him. He's more rebel than boy, now.

Shego: So, Frugal Lucre really bugs you?

Drakken: To the max! Now hide! [whispering] Maybe if we stay hidden he will leave...

Lucre: [whispering] Who will leave?

Drakken: Frugal- WAAH! How did you get here?! [looks at Shego]

Shego: Meh, figured I'd let him in.

Ron: Hermit crabs! They're just hard-shelled ungratefulness!

Shego: [to Frugal Lucre] You know what else he likes? Questions.

Frugal Lucre: Oh, I've got lots of those!

Shego: And he likes getting tapped on the shoulder... er, and you know how he likes getting blown on to get his attention?

[Last Lines]

Shego: So tell me again, how much are you worth?

Martin Smarty: Billions!

Shego: That's a mad grip. I could get used to this. How much real estate?

Martin Smarty: Including tropical islands?

Shego: I am so retired right now.

[Artie enters.]

Artie Smarty: Hi, Dad. Hi, New Mom.

Shego: [gets up] I am so out of here.

On No! Yono!

Hana Stoppable: [Repeated words] Page/Brother

Ron: I see, yes, yes, interesting. Well, if I had known I was supposed to be teaching her ninja skills, I would have, like, oh I don't know, TAUGHT HER SOME NINJA SKILLS!!! AAGGHH!!!

Monkey Fist: [to monkey with camera] Oh, that last mission was a failure! I told you scrapbooking the incident wouldn't make me feel better!

Clean Slate

Drakken: You used to think you were all that, but you don't remember the 'all that-ness' that you used to think that you were then... but not now..."

Shego: ...Y-yeah, just stop.

Kim: Are you hitting on me?

Ron: Uh, Kim, we are dating. I'm your boyfriend.

Kim: You? Boyfriend? [snickers, then] Oh... you're serious?

Ron: Oh-ho, that wasn't painful at all.

Homecoming Upset

Monique: Back off, Bonnie! In case you didn't notice, now Kim is the one dating the star of the football team.

Kim: That's not important to me, Monique... although Ron has broken more school records than Brick ever did.

Bonnie: [sulking] Brick... if he had just flunked senior year one more time, he'd be here to rule at my side.

[Kim catches Bonnie kissing Ron.]

Kim: WHAT-IS-THE-SITCH?

Bonnie: (crying and wailing)

Ron: Um, I don't speak hysteric.

Bonnie: (continues crying and wailing)

Kim: Brick broke up with you?

Ron: How do you know what she's saying?

Kim: It's a girl thing.

Bonnie: I don't do pathetic!

Ron: (under his breath) Well, you could have fooled me...

Ron: Uh, Bonnie? This is the part of sneaking in that we like to call "quiet time."

Graduation I

Kim: Okay, future. I'm ready for anything you can throw at me.

Ron: After grad you're – you're heading to the stars, and, um...

Kim: Ron... what?

Ron: I'm stuck on Earth, but I don't want to hold you back, so whatever happens... I'm okay with it...

Ron: Go in through the garbage chute.

Shego: Oh yeah, like there's gonna be a...

[garbage comes flying out of a chute in the alien spaceship]

Ron: And the first booyah in space... A-BOOYAH!

Kim: So, payback's the sitch.

Graduation II

Kim: We're not trapped here for long!

Drakken: [to Kim, after a pause] Grrr! I find your youthful optimism irritating.

[Ron is having a hard time flying due to having Drakken on his back]

Ron: The piggyback thing really drags down my coolness.

Drakken: Well, pardon me. Not all of us have the power of flight.

Ron: Oh, complain, complain. You know, when life gives you lemons...

Drakken: I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LEMONS!

Ron: Dude, you okay?

Shego: Dr. D...?

Drakken: neh... uh... My mind... it's racing... it's uncanny... I see every detail...

Kim: Of what?

Drakken: My greatest plan ever!

Ron: To save the world?

[Pause.]

Drakken: Do NOT make me say those words!

[Drakken believes Kim has been vaporized]

Drakken: You... were a worthy foe. You were indeed "all that." Farewell... Kim Possible!

[Kim appears behind him, tying her graduation sash around her waist]

Kim: Hello, Drakken!

Ron: Where's Drakken?

Shego: [points to sky, in depressed voice] See previous.

Shego: Whoa, the two teens have a "thing", but there is nothing going on between me and Doctor D.!

Kim: Nothing?

Shego: NOTHING!

Warhok: Denial. It's more than just a river on the planet which we now control.

[as Ron unleashes his full potential on Warhok]

Sensei: His monkey power is from... BOO-YAH-YAH!

Drakken: Wait. What happened? What did I miss?

Shego: I don't know. But I think the sidekick just stepped up... monkey style.

Drakken: Monkey style? What's that?

Shego: You had to be here.

Kim: I told you Graduation wasn't the end of the world...

[Kim & Ron kiss passionately]

[Last lines of the series]

Dementor: You must admit, that it is exquisitely amusing.

Drakken: Okay, Dementor, I'd really rather not talk about it!

Dementor: But the irony! As a mad scientist you have been a total failure your entire career...

Drakken: New topic, please!

Dementor: Okay, okay. Why the blue skin?

Drakken: Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny "ha-ha." It was a Tuesday...

Middleton High Sign

"Need a Date? Call Ron" Crush (Season 1)

"Detention: Room 12" Tick-Tick-Tick (Season 1)

"Warning: Mutant Vermin on Campus" Tick-Tick-Tick (Season 1)

"Detention: Still Room 12" Tick-Tick-Tick (Season 1)

"Procrastinator's Club: Meeting Postponed" Number One (Season 1)

"PICK BRICK! Paid for by Bonnie Rockwaller." Royal Pain (Season 1)

"Home of Kim Style" Kimitation Nation (Season 1)

"Lunch Special: Chicken Fried Sushi" Low Budget (Season 1)

"Middleton Medical Center: Ask about our specials" (Middleton Hospital) Fearless Ferret (Season 2)

"Chez Ron Now Serving" Two to Tutor (Season 2)

"History Field Trip Yesterday" Rewriting History (Season 2)

"Those Who Fail History Are Doomed to Repeat It" Rewriting History (Season 2)

"Pun Club Sign Up" The Truth Hurts (Season 2)

"Look into our pupils" The Truth Hurts (Season 2)

"We have class" The Truth Hurts (Season 2)

"Lunch on The Ron" Ron Millionaire (Season 2)

"Vegan club meating canceled" Go Team Go (Season 2)

"Mutated Roach Awareness Week" Roachie (Season 3)

"Sinkhole Awareness Week" Roachie (Season 3)

"Home of the Gravy Ghost" Gorilla Fist (Season 3)

"Home of Double-Cheese Pizza" Gorilla Fist (Season 3)

"Reading: It's a Novel Idea" Overdue (Season 3)

"THE END" So The Drama (Season 3)

"not THE END" Ill Suited (Season 4)

"Ron Unstoppable!" Ill Suited (Season 4)

"Pep Rally: Some Assembly Required" Grande Size Me (Season 4)

"Come for the classes, Stay for the pie" Grande Size Me (Season 4)

"Freshman Orientation!" Trading Faces (Season 4)

"Freshman Re-orientation!" Trading Faces (Season 4)

"Testing, Testing 1-2-3... and 4 pm." Clothes Minded (Season 4)

"If you lived here, you'd be home schooled by now." Big Brother (Season 4)

"Unemployment starts now." Graduation Part 1 (Season 4)

Unsourced

Kim Possible: Some kid's gonna get hurt trying to imitate that girls stunts!

Jim: Hey! Let's see if we can sneak into the bear cage at the zoo, like Adrena Lynn!

Tim: Cool!

Jim: Here, tie this steak on!

Ron Stoppable: Sorry, KP, but discovering your favorite action hero is a big fake is not something you just 'get over'.

Kim Possible: And this from a wrestling fan?

Ron Stoppable: I don't see the connection.

TV Announcer: And reports that Adrena Lynn is a fake, coupled with a rash of copycat stunts across the country...

Jim: That's us! (high fives Tim, prompting pain, given they bungee jumped off a roof with yarn shortly beforehand)

TV Announcer: ...has prompted this network to cancel Adrena Lynn in favor of more... responsible programming. (reaction shot) So! Stay tuned for an extra hour of... "Stuff on Fire!"

Dr. Possible: Jim, Tim, there'll be no rooting for your sister's foe.

Kim Possible: Listen, I'm sorry you almost plunged to your death on worldwide television...

Brick Flagg: Kim, stop. I get it now.

Kim Possible: (dubious) You do?

Brick Flagg: Sure. You had that skinny guy expose Adrena Lynn so she'd freak out and set up this whole 'Save Brick' thing, just to prove you dug me! Kim, you're nice and all, but you try too hard. If you just asked me out, that's cool, but this is too much. I'm sorry, but it's over.

A Sitch In Time

Kim: Ron, I couldn't save the world without you.

Drakken: When young Kim Possible goes on her first mission we'll make sure she fails. This time her spirit will be crushed!

Killigan: Uh, we tried crushing her spirit. Can we nay simply crush her?

Monkey Fist: I'm with the mad golfer on this one.

Drakken: You think you're all that... blah blah blahbitty blah.

Monkey Fist: Waffle away, gents. I'll be getting a head. [As he jumps on Drakken and Killigan's head]

Rufus 3000 [in front of an audience of future Rufuses]: Rufus prime, what is the meaning of life?

Rufus: ...uh, cheeeeese!

[audience applauds]

An audience Rufus: [to neighbor] You owe me a buck.

So The Drama

Ron: Sumo Ninja?!

Sumo Ninja: (deep, threatening voice) I am strong like the mountain!

Ron: That is sick and wrong!

Sumo Ninja: I am your doom!

Kim: [about Jim & Tim, after smashing two rockets they let loose in the house]: This is what happens when a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon reproduce.

Tim: (with megaphone) Attention please!

Jim: (also with megaphone) We've detected cooties in the area!

Tim: (also with megaphone) Repeat, cooties in the area!

Jim: (also with megaphone) This can only mean one thing...

Tim and Jim: (with megaphone) Kim's got a boyfriend!!!

Ron: (grabbing either Jim or Tim's megaphone) Cootie Alert!!!

Ron: You know, all that stuff was bad, KP, but do you know what was worse? Spending the whole summer away from you.

Monique: Is that Brick over there, flirting with the girl at Earring World?

Bonnie: He's HYPNOTIZED by her Big Hoops!

Drakken: Kim Possible and her sidekick...! Whose name escapes me.

Drakken: Farewell, Kim Possible, farewell... what's his name again? Whatever, you know who you are!

Drakken: You think you're all that, but you're not even close!

Ron: That would be so cool if it wasn't going to be the last thing we ever saw!

Sumo Ninja: [high squeaky voice, from getting a wedgie earlier] I shall be avenged!

[Kim and Ron both giggle uncontrollably]

Sumo Ninja: What?

Ron: Dude, don't talk. The funny voice? Yeah, it kind of ruins your mystique.

Sumo Ninja: [same voice] I am strong like the mountain! I am swift like the wind! I am vengeance!

Ron: There are guys out there that are better for you than Erik... guys that are real, for one thing.

Kim: Do you really think there's a guy out there for me?

Ron: Out there... in here...

Kim: Oh... really?

Ron: Sure, y'know, guys like- [Rufus pops out] Rufus?

Drakken: Okay, maybe she IS all that...

Kim: You know what I really hate?

Shego: That your date melted?

Kim: Nah... YOU!

Kim: You know, Ron, we better hurry... [gives Ron a loving look]

Ron: Hurry where?

Kim: [grabs Ron's hand and runs] You'll see.

Brick Flagg: Possible and the new guy got the funk.

Bonnie: Shut up.

Brick: Okay.

Kim Possible

What's the sitch?
No big!
So not the drama.
I can do anything!
Please and thank you!

Ron Stoppable

Boo-yah!
That would be so cool if it wasn't going to hurt us!
Note serious face!
That (or whatever the conversation is about) is sick and wrong!

Jim & Tim Possible

Hick-a-bick-a-boo?
Hoo-sha!

"No Big / So Not The Drama..."

Kim: Thanks for the lift, Heinrich.

Heinrich: Aw, Kim, you silly! After you save our village from that avalanche!

Kim: No big.

Kim: Thanks for the lift, Mr. Nakasumi.

Nakasumi: (whispers)

Ms. Yori: Nakasumi-san says, it is the least he can do, after you saved his video game factory in time for Christmas rush.

Kim: No big. I just hope I can save this Christmas.

Kim: Thanks for the lift, Ricardo.

Ricardo: De nada, Senorita Possible! After all, you saved my chicken farm when you dried up that mudslide!

Kim: No big. One of the reasons I carry a cordless hair dryer.