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Oz (TV series)
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Quotations
  Topics Oz (TV series) Quotations
Quotations
Oz is a Tv Series started in 1997, aired by HBO, ended in 2003, a total of 6 series, revolving around the life of inmates in Emerald City.
Directed by Tom Fontana.


How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. (Taglines)

The Routine [1.1]

Augustus Hill: Oz, that's the name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. Oz is retro, Oz is retribution. You wanna punish a man? Separate him from his family, separate him from himself, cage him up with his own kind.

----
Schillinger: Like my tattoos? I'm going to get you one.
Beecher: No, thanks.
Schillinger: Oh, yeah, I'm going to brand you myself.
Beecher: Livestock gets branded.
Schillinger: Yeah, livestock, that's what you are... my livestock. Because now, Tobias, your ass belongs to me.

----
Diane Wittlesey: There's something in the air. And it ain't love.

----
Kareem Said: I would give my life for you.
Jefferson Keane: You gonna have to.

----
Sister Pete: Tim, we gotta talk.
McManus: About what?
Sister Pete: About sex.
McManus: Sister, you're insatiable.

Visits, Conjugal, and Otherwise [1.2]

Groves: (a cannibal) I saw 'em carry him out. Looked like a roasted, broiled chicken. His flesh was all brown and crispy. He looked good enough to eat.

----
Burrano: No? He's ordering you around all day, "boy do this, boy do that", it never pissed you off?
Keane: He never called me "boy".

----
Markstrom: You not gonna kiss the bride? (Adebisi grabs Keane and tries to kiss him)

----
Hill: And love? Well, if sex is sweet and death is bitter, love is both. Love will always and forever break your heart.

----
Augustus Hill: God made sunsets full of color and God made race horses that run in a flash. God made the orange, the apple and strawberries, but God's greatest creation is pussy. I don't mean to be crude or nothing but... you can have all the sunsets, horses and fruit there is, just give me all the pussy in the world. Fuck, I don't need all the pussy, just one a day. Everyday.

The Tip [2.1]

Alvah Case: Vehicular manslaughter, reckless endangerment, possession of controlled substances, possession of a deadly weapon, violation of parole. That's an amazing list of crimes.
Ryan O'Reily: Well, you know, I applied myself.

Animal Farm [2.7]

Hill: Hey Schillinger.
Schillinger: What do you want?
Hill: How much would it cost to mail me out of here?
Schillinger: Mail you? What are you talking about?
Hill: I've been trying to think of ways to get out of here.
Schillinger: Escape from Oz?
Hill: Yeah. And I figured, you know, you could box me up in a crate and mail me to my wife overnight express, Priority Mail, whatever. How much would that cost? Postage, shipping, handling, et cetera?
Schillinger: Are you serious?
Hill: Yeah.
Schillinger: Then you're nuts.
Hill: Is that a no?
Schillinger: Yeah. No. No, yeah, it's a no. Get the fuck out of here before I tip you over.
Hill: All right, Vern, I ain't mad at you. You can't help it if you're ugly and stupid.

----
Busmalis: Relax. You're suffering from PBS.
Rebadow: PBS?
Busmalis: Pre-Bunny Syndrome. It happens quite often in my line of work. You dig and dig and dig, and just before you have to make like a little bunny and go through the hole, you panic.
Rebadow: This is real? Pre-Bunny Syndrome?
Busmalis: Oh, yeah. I mean, I made the name up, but sure.

Escape From Oz [2.8]

Jonathan Coushaine: I say we institute a "no swearing" rule.
El Cid: Fuck you.
Augustus Hill: Suck my dick.
Kenny Wangler: Asswipe.
Ryan O'Reily: Cocksucker.
Chucky Pancamo: You stupid cunt.
Jaz Hoyt: Putz.
Tim McManus: If nobody hasn't anything more intelligent to say, this meeting is adjourned.

The Truth And Nothing But... [3.1]

Sister Pete: Do you like sex with men?
Chris Keller: I like sex. Don't you?

----
Hill: The name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. Only, big news: They've changed the name. It's now called the Oswald State Correctional Facility, level four. I don't know what the difference is. Leo Glynn is still warden, Sister Peter Marie is still in psych, Tim McManus is still unit manager of Emerald City, and I know for damn sure none of us have changed. Beecher is still in the hospital after Schillinger and Keller broke his bones. Alvarez is still in solitary after blinding a CO. Adebisi, still in the loony ward, after changing hats. Maybe it's truth in advertising. Maybe by getting rid of the word "penitentiary" the state is finally admitting that nobody's penitent. Nobody's sorry. Nobody.

----
Ryan: I'd fucking airhole him but he's always got the Aryans or the bikers around him. I just can't get fucking close.
Poet: Unless...
Ryan: Unless... Who knew? You think like I do.
Poet: That's a scary thought.

----
Keller: Look, I know there's no reason for you to believe me, but, um...
Beecher: You're sorry?
Keller: Yeah.
Beecher: And you promise you'll never do it again?

----
Keller: Hey, fuck you, you fuck.

----
Hill: Truth is a powerful thing. If you right a wrong, or make a bad thing worse, in Oz the truth is, if the facts don't fit the truth, fuck the facts.

A Cock And Balls Story [4.01]

Sean Murphy: He is like a cannibal.
Tim MacManus: A cannibal eats somebody else's flesh.
Sean Murphy: So what do you call a guy who eats his own flesh?
Tim MacManus: Inventive.

Cuts Like a Knife [4.12]

Murphy: If you're so afraid of the work, LoPresti, go back to selling used cars.
McManus: You see?
LoPresti: Don't be an asshole.

----
Ryan: If I get old and wrinkled, will you still love me?

----
Wick: (on the medical testing) Other than the lice, I feel great. Thinking maybe I'm one of the five that got the placebo. (Slumps over and dies)

----
Keller: I'm telling you Supreme Allah knows we whacked Shemin and Browne and we pinned the murders on him.
Ryan: How could he? I didn't tell him, you didn't tell him.
Keller: Hey, maybe he figured it out. Both of them were guys Beecher fucked.
Ryan: So maybe he thinks that you did it, but not me.
Keller: What, are you looking to hang me out to dry, there, O'Reily?
Ryan: No. Look, maybe I can go see Allah, figure out what he really knows. You can trust me, K-boy.
Keller: I got no other choice.

----
Keller: I'll see you.
Beecher: When?
Keller: Back here. Or in heaven.
Beecher: You really think we're gonna get into heaven?
Keller: Ah, you and me together. God doesn't have the balls to keep us out.

----
Hill: The worst stab wound is the one to the heart. Sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same. There's always a scar, which is meant, I guess, to remind you that even for a little while, someone made your heart beat faster. And that's a scar you can live with, proudly, all the days of your life.

Orpheus Descending [4.14]

Augustus: Back in the old Greek times there lived a man named Orpheus. Loved his wife, took it easy on the Ouzo, played a mean guitar. Upstanding guy. So what the almighty gods do? They fucked with him. Made his life Hades. Why? 'Cause that's what those in power do to those of us with none


Laws of Gravity [5.2]

Timmy Kirk: If you're not part of the solution, you're Satan's tool.

Next Stop, Valhalla [5.4]

Chris Keller: Show me your tits.
Sister Pete: Don't do that.
Chris Keller: Sorry.

----
Timmy Kirk: I want to become a Roman Catholic again.
Father Ray Mukada: No.
Timmy Kirk: What? You can't refuse me!
Father Ray Mukada: I sure as hell can.

Wheel of Fortune [5.5]

Tim McManus: I'm sorry Rebadow, it's your word against his. The word of a correctional officer against the word of an inmate... who is known to talk to God.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Smell No Evil [6.2]

Ryan O'Reilly: Hey Chucky, you've got a minute?
Chucky Pancamo: For you O'Reilly, I've got only 28 seconds. But the way you double-talk, it should be plenty.

Junkyard Dawgs [6.7]

Guerra: Marriage ain't marriage without sex.

----
Idzik: So don't you see? Everything that we do, the plans we make, the hopes we have, they're futile. Being good at a job, which I was, building a home, which I did, raising a family...which I had, none of it means anything because no matter how we try, how much we strive and struggle, it'll all come to naught. Life is a waste of time. So, that's why I'm counting on you to kill me. You will, won't you?

----
Hill: Forget about having too much garbage, too many bottles, cans, watermelon rinds, disposable baby diapers and such. What's really terrifying in terms of the long term health of the planet is toxic waste. Toxic waste, you can't put two worse words together except maybe (pause) nuclear war.

----
Schillinger: But Beecher knows too much about both of us. He's gotta die.
Keller: Yeah.
Schillinger: I'll deal with it.
Keller: No, I'll kill Beecher.
Schillinger: You?
Keller: Before I whack him, I just wanna fuck him in the ass one more time.

----
Keller: I concocted this whole god damned thing just to convince you that I'm on the up and up. Now, if I was really siding with Schillinger, Toby, you'd be dead already. But instead...all I really want...is for you to love me again. (Forces a kiss on Beecher)

----
Torquemada: Miguel Alvarez. I hear you're the man to know.
Alvarez: Whoever told you that was an idiot.

Exeunt Omnes [6.8]

Keller: I couldn't face living the rest of my life in here without you. Don't you see? I did what I did out of love.
Beecher: I loved alcohol. I loved heroin. But I had to put them behind me because they were poison. Death. You... are death. Let me live.

----
Torquemada: I have a little confession. You see, I'm a virgin. I've never had sex with man, woman, fish, or fowl.

----
Torquemada: I don't want to fuck you. That would be too common. I want to be you, Miguel Alvarez.

----
Schillinger: You're dead, sweetpea.

----
Schillinger: (realizing Keller switched the shanks) That cocksucker!

----
McManus: All I know is that the move is temporary. We'll be back someday.

----
Hill: So, what have we learned? What's the lesson for today? For all the never-ending days and restless nights in Oz? That morality is transient? That virtue cannot exist without violence? That to be honest is to be flawed? That the giving and taking of love both debases and elevates us? That God or Allah or Yahweh has answers to questions we dare not even ask? The story is simple: a man lives in prison and dies. How he dies? That's easy. The who and the why is the complex part. The human part. The only part worth knowing... Peace.

----
Beecher: If you really love me, then leave me alone.

Cast

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