Directed by Robert Altman. Written by Jules Feiffer, based on the comic strip created by E.C. Segar. Starring Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall.

Popeye

• [to a photo of his Pappy] Poppa. Pretty soon, you and me are going to be together again, huh? Yeah. Thirty years ain't that long. Besides, next Wednesday's our annual-versity. Yeah? Yeah. Stay alive. That's all I'm axskin' you. Good night, Poppa.
• Eau de toilette, yeh, eau de toilette.
• Another thing I got is a sensk of humiligration. Now, maybe you swabs can pool your intelligensk and sees that I'm axsking you for an apologeky.
• I know you ain't down there. Truth is you ain't here. Now, where ain't you? Where ain't me Swee'Pea?
• If I was gonna be Swee'Pea's mother, I should've at least let Olive be his father. Or viska versa. I ain't man enough to be no mother.
• Bluto, even though you're larger than me, you can't wins, 'cause you bad, and the good always wins over the bad.
• Oh, what am I? Some kind of barnicle on the dinghy of life? Oh, I ain't no doctors, but I knows I'm losing me patience. What am I? Some kind of judge or lawyers? Maybe not, but I knows what law suitks me. [to the prostitute] Careful there, don't ruffle me feathers. What am I? I ain't no physcikisk, but I knows what matters. What am I? I'm Popeye the Sailor.
• [singing] And I yam what I yam and I yam what I yam that I yam / And I gotta lotta muscle and I only gots one eye / And I never hurts nobody and I'll never tell a lie / Top to me bottom and bottom to me top / That's the way it is 'til the day that I drop, what am I / I yam what I yam
• [to the Oyls when they enter the gambling den] Oh, what is this? A house of ill repukes? Ooh, who'd bring me infant to this den of immoraliky? Don't touch nothin'. You might get a venerable disease.
• [cartoon version] Hey, what's this? One of Bluto's tricks? I'm in the wrong movie.
• [when Bluto sinks him during a fight] Goodnight, Irene!
• [to the Bluto, after beating him up for mistaking SweePea is his and Olive's] Don't thinks I blames ya, cause I don't. Nope.

Poopdeck Pappy

• Eat your spinach, you no good infink. Eat it. Eat it! Eat it!
• [about children] Bless their little hears, if they was made out of gold, I'd like to sell 'em on the open market. I could make me a fortune. Kids! Eh, they don't what they're doing. Kids, dadblast 'em! They're gonna lead you to ruin. That's what they're gonna do, lead you to ruin. They cry at you when they're young, they yell at you when they're older, they borrows from you when they's middle-aged and they leave you alone to die. Without even paying you back. Children, phooey. You give them everything they want, and what do you get back in return? You get nothing! Why they're just smaller versions of us you know, but I'm not so crazy about me in the first place, so why would I want one of them. I'm asking ya. Children. Ah, children. Little children. You'll pour your heart to them, you give them everything they want. Give them candy and a lot of toys, and what do you get in return? You get a lot of noise: Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, my poppa's a mean old man! I'm through with children, I'm through with kids. They ain't nothing I'm never gonna do about it.
• Don't talk to me about the future. I hates the future, and I hates the past, and I hates the present. Especially you.
• I've never seen like this before in me life, talking to your poor old father like that, you disobedient brat. You're spoiled. That's what you're are, spoiled.
• I hates sentiment. I am disgustipated.
• It is an octopussy!
• [repeated line] Haul ass, haul ass.

Bluto

• It's NINE O'CLOCK!! CURFEW!! LIGHTS OUT!!!
• [arriving at the Oyl's party, picking up Mrs. Oyl] Mother!
• [picking flower petals] She'll MARRY me!! She won't! She will!!
• Okay, shorty, from now on the Oyls is gonna be double taxed. Triple taxed. Quadruple taxed! Surtaxed! Exercised taxed! OVERtaxed! And, THUMB TAXED!!
• [singing] I'm so mean, I had a dream of beatin' myself up. Broke my nose, I broke my hand, I wrestled myself to the ground and then, I choked myself to death and broke the choke and woke up. Argh! I'm mean. You know what I mean. If you know what I mean, you'll know what I mean! I'm mean! Meaner than..., I sure am mean! Yeah, mean. I'm meaner than that. You know what I mean. I'm so damn mean! I'm mean!

George Geezil

• POOEY on carrots!!
• Wimpy, he is flies in my soup, he should be killed to death!
• HOOP-LA!! HOOP-LA!!

J. Wellington Wimpy

• [singing] I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
• Burgers can't be choosers.
• Excellent idea, fish. Might I suggest, before matrimony, fish. Fish before matrimony.

Others

• Nana Oyl: [about Castor] Get him out of that ring. Don't touch his feet. He's gotta dance with those feet.
• Cole Oyl: [repeated line] You owe me an apology.
• The Taxman: One sunflower, embarrasing the Taxman tax.
• Sign at Roughhouse's Cafe: Positively NO Credit! Especially You, Wimpy!
• Ham Gravy: [at Olive's engaement party] This is a real sad occasion. A very sad day.
• Nana Oyl: I don't know...Captain Bluto has the patience of Jobe! Or is it Job? Well, he certainly has a nice job. Jobe.

Dialogue

Bluto: You don't like spinach?

Popeye: I hates it.

George W. Geezil: What is that glop you're eating?

J. Wellington Wimpy: It's a soup burger. These are difficult times. Burgers can't be choosers.

Poopdeck Pappy: Eat that spinach. Eat that spinach, you brat.

Popeye: I don't want to eat that spinach. I don't want to eat that spinach. Waaaaah. Waaaaah.

Poopdeck Pappy: You disobedient brat. You was disobedient when you was two, and you're still disobedient now. You wouldn't eat your spinach. Spinach what kept our family strong for thousands of years. And what does me only oxspring do with it?

Popeye and Poopdeck Pappy [in unison]: He spits it up!!

Poopdeck Pappy: His mother ups and dies, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.

Popeye: She choked on it, pop.

Poopdeck Pappy: His poppa out of work, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.

Popeye: It wasn't my fault.

Poopdeck Pappy: The whole country in a depressigan. Ooh, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.

Popeye: That was Coolidge, Poppa.

Poopdeck Pappy: His poppa going hungry. Going off to steal. Stealing what?

Popeye and Poopdeck Pappy [in unison]: Spinach!

[Popeye throws the spinach behind Pappy's back.]

Poopdeck Pappy: So his ungrate son could grow up big and strong. You know I've done? You know what I've done when the G-Man catched me and thrung me in jail?

Popeye: No.

Poopdeck Pappy: Hmm? I laughed.

Popeye: Yeah. You laughed?

Poopdeck Pappy: I laughed a whole year. [laughs]

Popeye: Oh, Pap... father. It's me, it's me, your oxspring son.

Poppdeck Pappy: Stand to, you swab!

Popeye: Yes, sir.

Poopdeck Pappy: Your casking shadows on Poopdeck Pappy. Pride to the Pacifiric. And father to the shark. Brother to the piranhaca. Cousin to the whale. And uncle to the octopussy.

Popeye: But pap, I'm your one and only exspring. See, we got the same bulgy arms.

Poopdeck Pappy: No resemblance.

Popeye: We-we got the same squinky eye.

Poopdeck Pappy: What squinky eye?

Popeye: That's going to be hard for you to see. Oh, we even got the same pipe, pap.

Poopdeck Pappy: You idiot, you can't inherit a pipe! Ooh, I am poppa to no male. Nor no female child. That no court could prove otherwise.

Popeye: Ya got a room for renk?

Nana Oyl: What for what?

Popeye: Renk, renk. Your sign says ya got a room for renk.

Nana Oyl: Oh, my stars and gardens! My mind was a million miles away. Come in before you catch your death of mud.

Popeye: Mud? [reads a name on a mailbox] Oyls. That explains it. She's down a quart.

Nana Oyl: Olive, will you show Mister... Mister...

Popeye: Oh, Popeye, ma'am.

Nana Oyl: Mr. Eye the spare room?

Popeye: Just Popeye, ma'am.

Popeye: I oughta bust you right in the mush.

Olive Oyl: Yeah, what is this?

J. Wellington Wimpy: A hundred and twenty samoleans.

Olive Oyl: You won a hundred and twenty samoleans?

J. Wellington Wimpy: You know how many hamburgers that is?

Popeye: They've got me Olive Oyl and Swee'Pea.

Poopdeck Pappy: Olive Oyl? Swee'Pea? What are you doing? Making a salad? I want me treasure, do you here me? I want me treasure!

[about Poopdeck Pappy]

Olive Oyl: You father is a rat, a crook, and a kidnapper! And he's on the Commodore's right now with Bluto and Swee'Pea. That's what I can't tell you.

Popeye: No, he ain't, and my father ain't no kidnapper.

Olive Oyl: He is too. He's a rat, a crook, a kidnapper, and a bad father and more!

Popeye: More?

Olive Oyl: Yeah.

J. Wellington Wimpy: Well, it appears that you father is the Commodore.

Popeye: He ain't no Commodore. A hoity-toity Commodore. He would never be that.

Olive Oyl: A rat, a crook, a kidnapper, and a Commodore.

Popeye: I don't listen to the advice of some dizzy gaming broad. [to Wimpy] Now, they ain't there, and I'm gonna prove it to you. Where ain't they?

J. Wellington Wimpy: They ain't on the commodore's boat.

Popeye: That's where they ain't? Well if that's where they ain't, I'll prove to you that that's where they ain't.

Chorus: [singing] He's Popeye the Sailor Man. He's Popeye the Sailor Man. He's strong to the finich cause cause he eats his spinach, he's Popeye the Sailor Man.

Popeye: [singing] I'm one tough gazookas that hates all palookas that ain't on the up and square. I biffs 'em and buffs 'em and always outroughs 'em and none of 'em gets nowhere. If anyone guesses to risk his fisk, it's buff and it's wham, understands? So keep good behavior, it's your one lifesaver, with Popeye the Sailor Man.

[Olive accidentally bumps into Popeye on the street and he started to swing his fists.]

Olive Oyl: You scared the wits out of me.

Popeye: [under his breath] Almost knocked 'em outta you too.

The Taxman: You just docked.

Popeye: I has.

The Taxman: Ah ha, let's see here, that'll be 25 cents docking tax.

Popeye: What for?

The Taxman: Where's your sea craft?

Popeye: It ain't no sea craft, it's me dinghy and it's under the wharf.

The Taxman: Ah ha. aah-ha. This your goods?

Popeye: They is.

The Taxman: Yeah. You're new in town right?

Popeye: If you call this a town, yes.

The Taxman: Well, first of all, there's 17 cents new in town tax, and there's 45 cents rowboat-under-the-wharf tax, and one dollar leaving-your-junk-lying-around-the-wharf tax, so all together, you owe the Commodore $1.87.

Popeye: Uh, who's this Commodore?

The Taxman: Is the nature of question? There's a nickel question tax.

Popeye: How come carrots is a dollar?

George W. Geezil: $1.50. You buy what I don't feel like selling will cost you $2.00.

Popeye: All right, there you are. [takes the carrots and tosses Geezil a nickel]

George W. Geezil: Ah ah. Nope, deadbeat, this is a nickel.

Popeye: I pays what I feels like payin'! Heh heh heh.

The Taxman: You're not up to no good, are you? Because if you are, there's a 50 cent up-to-no-good tax.

Popdeck Pappy: Cut me down from this yardarm. He's gettin' away with that rotten little insect on a stool pigeon.

Popeye: Cut ya down?

Poopdeck Pappy: Cut me down. Cut me down.

Popeye: [grabbing a knife] Cut ya down, cut ya down.

Poopdeck Pappy: Cut me down.

[Popeye does that. Pappy lands flat on his face and breaking the chair.]

Popeye: I, uh, cut you down.

Poopdeck Pappy: Ugh, you idiot!!

Popeye: You said cut you down.

Poopdeck Pappy: I didn't say cut me down, I said get me down, get me down! And don't you ever pick up another knife, if you do, I'll make you eat it. You'll be known as The Sword Swallowin' Sailor!

Popeye: That's me pap. That's me pap, I know he is.

Popeye: What are you doing, Pappy?! You can't fire that thing. There's women and infinks on that boat!!

Poopdeck Pappy: Would you stop worrying? All I'm gonna do is fire a warning shot right across the bow. Don't you thinks I knows what I'm doing?!

Bluto: Commodore.

Poopdeck Pappy: Don't keep calling me commodore inside this here harbor. I got millions 'o enemies. And you is 10 or 12 of them.

Popeye: What are you doing, there? No childs 'o mine will be exploiticated for ill-gotten gains. [to Swee'Pea] Yeah, that's true. You're gonna be president one day.

Olive Oyl: It is not ill-gotten, it's good-gotten gains. These races will clothe us, and feed us, and save us.

Popeye: Wrong is wrong, even when it helps ya.

J. Wellington Wimpy: The horses are at the gates.

Olive Oyl: I think family is more important than dumb morality, hmm?.

Bluto: Okay, Shorty, from now on the whole world is gonna be double taxed! Triple taxed! Quadruple taxed! Surtaxed! EXERCISE taxed! OVER taxed! And, THUMB taxed!

Olive Oyl: Goochy goo.

Popeye: None of that talk around me son. Me son is gonna be a man infink, not a baby infink. [to Swee'Pea] Come to poppa, me little Swee'Pea. You're me little Swee'Pea.

Olive Oyl: Swee'Pea? You're bats.

Popeye: I found him in Sweethaven, that's why he is me Swee'Pea. I am calling him Swee'Pea and that is his name. [to Swee'Pea] Ain't that the truth?

Olive Oyl: Swee'Pea is the worst name I've ever heard on a baby.

Popeye: Well what do you wants me to call him? Baby Oyl?

Popeye: So, you're just a landlubber, ain't you?

Olive Oyl: Oh yeah? Well, I'm a woman.

Popeye: Oh yeah? Well, I am a mother.

Taglines

• The sailor man with the spinach can!
• Blow me down! It's comink for Chrustmas!
• Haves a happy holiday wit me an' Olive!

Main cast

• Robin Williams - Popeye the Sailor
• Shelley Duvall - Olive Oyl
• Ray Walston - Poopdeck Pappy
• Paul L. Smith - Bluto
• Paul Dooley - J. Wellington Wimpy
• Richard Libertini - George W. Geezil
• Linda Hunt - Mrs. Oxheart
• Donald Moffat - The Taxman
• MacIntrye Dixon - Cole Oyl
• Roberta Maxwell - Nana Oyl
• Donavan Scott - Castor Oyl
• Bill Irwin - Ham Gravy