Richard Pryor Quotations

Richard Pryor was an American actor, writer, and comedian.

Sourced

Let me tell you what really happened... Every night before I go to bed, I have milk and cookies. One night I mixed some low-fat milk and some pasteurized, then I dipped my cookie in and the shit blew up.
- At the start of a routine about his freebasing accident. Live At The Sunset Strip (1982) [album and movie]

I went through every phone book in Africa, and I didn't find one god damned Pryor!
- On trying to find his roots. Live At The Sunset Strip (1982)

I don't want to go through life as a Wonder Wheel murderer!
- The Toy (1982)

Have you ever noticed how quiet you get when you go in the woods? It's almost like you know that God's there.
- "The time of his life" ~ The Guardian (7 June 2004)

I'd like to die like my father died... My father died fucking. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time.
- "The time of his life" ~ The Guardian (7 June 2004)

You gotta be cool when you're macho man, cuz you can't be sensitive and care about someone having a good time in bed, cuz that's too scary... When you don't use sensitivity when you're having sex, or share some of your soul, nothing gonna happen, because men really get afraid. Men really get scared in bed.
- "The time of his life" ~ The Guardian (7 June 2004)

Web-posts

Sick of hearing this shit about me not talking... not true... good days, bad days... but I still am a talkin motherfucker!
- Post on his official website rebutting reports he had lost his voice.

Rosa Parks showed us all that one little person can make a whole bunch of noise without so much as a whisper. She showed the world that the color of your skin shouldn't determine what part of the bus you sit in... as you ride through life.
- Post on US civil rights activist Rosa Parks.

Unsourced

I love show business. I wake up every morning and kiss it.

My grandmother used to discipline me, I mean, beat my ass, and I deserved them, too.

Bitch was so fine I'd suck her daddy's dick.

Everyone carries around his own monsters.

Freebase? What's free about it?

Fuckin' is good for you, Jack. Gettin' some pussy beats having a war.

How's my mama? How's your mama? I will slap you in the mouth with my dick.

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying 'til I get it right.

I couldn't stop. I put the pipe down. It jumped back in my hand.

I had some great things and I had some bad things. The best and the worst... In other words, I had a life.

I live in racist America and I'm uneducated, yet a lot of people love me and like what I do, and I can make a living from it. You can't do much better than that.

Why me? Ten million motherfuckers freebasing, and I'm the one who blows up!

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes — though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

I'm not addicted to cocaine... I just like the way it smells.

It's been a struggle for me because I had a chance to be white and refused.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

The man would box so good it'd make your dick hard!

There's a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at.

There's nothing worse than being an aging young person.

To be diagnosed was the hardest thing because I didn't know what they were talking about... And the doctor said, "Don't worry, in three months you'll know." So I went about my business and then, one day, it jumped me. I couldn't get up... Your muscles trick you; they did me.

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude.

You have to have lived some life. You've got to have paid some dues.

Misc

When the show don't be funny, I take my dick out and piss. This is called The Garden Row.

It's easy to love somebody. Shit, sit with them a little bit and talk to them a while.

Most people that you talk to, they's intelligent. Like I said, "Most people."

How do you 'accidentally' shoot a nigga in the chest six times? 'Well, my gun fell and just went crazy!'

On Race

When I hear 'yee-haw!', that scare the shit outta me. Cuz I know what come next. Y'all remember? Y'all's ancestors used to hang us for kicks? ..Muthafuckin on the weekend, hot, couldn't get no pussy? 'Let's go down to the jail, get a couple of them black ones and just string 'em up. ..yeehaww..' ..When I hear that, shit crawl all up and down my neck.

Slaves built all this shit down here.. Or carried the shit that built it.. (on New Orleans)

It used to be Rhodesia, before they killed all them white muthafuckas.

I know how white people feel in America now, relaxed. (upon traveling to Zimbabwe) Because when I hear the police siren, I knew they wasn't comin' after me.

I don't understand what goes on some times, right, cuz here we are in this theater, we gettin along just fine. We go outside and the shit change.

That's insanity. We must be good all the time.

White people go; Why you guys hold your things? Cause you done took every thing else, motherfucker!

On South Africa

2 million white people, 22 million blacks.. They can't hang.

Only thing is, like, America helps them muthafuckers. Like sending them bombs, and napalm and shit. Help them bomb black people and shit. Fuck that.

On Reagan

I went to the White House, met the president... We in trouble.

Motherfucker looked at me like I owed him money.

See, he'd been to the University of UCLA (sic). He hadn't been down to the U of Miss of Alabama. Cuz they got white folks down there that scare white folks. They have to keep them motherfuckers on a leash. Motherfuckin in a basement and shit.

As Mudbone

I had one girlfriend, she had one of them "recto-mies." You know, that's where they scoop the pussy out and leave the box it came in. We got along just fine. She didn't want nothin' from me, and I sure didn't want nothin' from her.

They fucked around, started negotiating with those white people, they lost ALL that shit.. And what they didn't lose negotiating, they {white people} just kicked their ass on out of..

On Alcohol

I had to stop drinkin', cuz I got tired of waking in my car driving ninety.

I couldn't stop drinkin' until the bartender said, "WE GOT NO MORE FUCKING LIQUOR! Now take your ass home, pal."

What I never understand about a hangover is, where does the breath come from? You know what I mean? I mean, is someone shitting in your mouth?

And it's the people you meet after you been drunk, that remember shit you don't remember: "Hey Rich, don't you remember that time we went out, we got fucked up, and you stuck your arm up that elephant's ass? Don't you remember that? Elephant tightened his ass up and went walking down the street with you? Don't you remember that? Man, you looked like a turd with a hat on."

LOOK AT THIS MAN!!! I CAN CATCH MY HAND!!!

On Drugs

They call it an epidemic now. That means white folks are doing it.

Y'all remember? Y'all used to drive through our neighborhoods and shit and go, "Oh, look at that. Isn't that terrible. Then you'd get home, right, and your 14-year-old'd be fucked up, and you'd go, "OH MY GOD! IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!"

Maybe next time you see black people in trouble, you'll help.

See, I had some drugs and shit right now, I wouldn't give a fuck. But I'd come off stage, and I still wouldn't give a fuck. Then, by the time you're 50, a lotta 'no-givin-a-fuck', you missed part your life.

I started off, snorting little tiny pinches, said I know I ain't gonna get hooked, not on no coke, you can't get hooked, my friends been snorting 15 years, they ain't hooked.

(on cocaine) "Somebody told me you put it on your dick, you could fuck all night. Shouldn't have told me that - my dick had a jones, $600 a day just to get my dick hard."

Being sober, and being off drugs, too, it's a strange feeling. And I get real scared when I'm out here sometimes. I get real nervous about it. I wanna fuckin' run! You know, I look out there, I say, "SHIT! IT'S SCARY!" And I say, "Fuck it. Go through it. Just feel the experience. Just fuck it." 'Cause if I had some drugs and shit now, I wouldn't give a fuck. But then I'd come off stage, I still wouldn't give a fuck. Then, by the time you're fifty, after a lot of not giving a fuck, you miss part of your life. They'll say, What happened to your life? "I didn't give a fuck."

I'm not addicted to coke, i just love the way it smells!

On Women

If you want some pussy, you'll talk all that shit with them. ..'Hey, yeah,, sure,, the cosmos.. sure..'

Quotes of others about Richard Pryor

Richard Pryor is the greatest stand-up who ever lived. He opened the biggest door and turned the light on in the room. ~ Roseanne Barr

It is impossible to exaggerate the greatness of Richard Pryor. [He] is truly an incandescent star, and we are lucky to bask in his glow. ~ Richard Belzer

Some people are born wearing an iron shoe. They're the ones who kick doors down and enter the places that before them have been untouched even by light. Theirs is always a mission filled with loneliness and broken bones. Richard Pryor is one of the bravest of them. ~ Jim Carrey

He's the kind of comedian that everyone calls him by his first name — like they know him. Richard! ~ Dave Chappelle

Richard is the consummate comic/jazz artist, and no one will ever touch his genius. ~ Chevy Chase

You changed the world... for everyone in it. ~ Mos Def

There are some people who impact your life forever. Richard Pryor is such a person. It is un-defining to call him a comedian, for he seemed to transcend comedy when he spoke to us. ~ Morgan Freeman

What would life be like without Richard Pryor and Mudbone? Dull, baby, very dull. There will never be another Richard Pryor. He is, and always has been, the funniest man alive. ~ Whoopi Goldberg

I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, 'Ain't that the truth!' Richard Pryor is the truth machine. He has taken black street humor to its highest universal level. ~ Quincy Jones

His star shines fiercely in the universe of art, with a truth and intensity unlike any other. ~ Kris Kristofferson

It sounds cliché to say that he opened the doors for all of us, but it's true... He did for comedy what politicians do for movements. He passed a law that said it was OK to tell it like it is. ~ Martin Lawrence

Pryor peels back the last layer of his battle-scarred skin to reveal the wretched demons that make him the true King of Comedy, and the rest of us just pretenders to the throne. ~ Denis Leary

At one moment you want to rescue him and save him and the next moment you know he's going to do the same for you. ~ Jennifer Lee

To fully appreciate the power of Richard Pryor as a stand-up comedian, you had to follow him at the Comedy Store. I did once, and I'm lucky to be alive. ~ David Letterman

I love Richard Pryor. He is a comic genius and a great human being. As he's explored the depths and heights, he's found a laugh around every corner. ~ David Lynch

Richard Pryor is the King. He always will be. ~ Bernie Mac

Richard Pryor is truly one of the great artists of our time. His comic genius and influence remain unparalleled. ~ Eddie Murphy

You are my friend, my pal, my domino partner, and the funniest motherfucker in the world today. ~ Willie Nelson

Richard Pryor is the greatest comedian of all time. ~ Chris Rock

Richard Pryor is to comedy what Gretzky is to hockey, what Ali is to Boxing. He is The Beatles of comedy. ~ Paul Rodriguez

Richard was our King Solomon. He truly created the kingdom of Niggerdom. ~ Mitzi Shore, owner of the Comedy Store

He doesn't fall into the [categories] of comedians we have, like prop comic, black comic, Jewish comic, white comic... he doesn't even get comic. He's just funny! ~ Jon Stewart

A gifted, raging, soaring, plummeting, deeply human man with the tender boy inside — the greatest pioneering comic artist of the last three generations. ~ Lily Tomlin

Richard had that thing where he could make you laugh so hard and then all of a sudden he'd break your heart. ~ Robert Townsend

There are many different kinds of comedians... the observational humorist, the impressionist, the character creator, the physical comedian, the self-depreciator, and the dirty-joke teller. What made Richard Pryor so brilliant is he was able to incorporate all these styles at once. ~ Damon Wayans

Richard Pryor is an alchemist who can turn the darkest pain into the deepest comedy. [He] doesn't go for the jugular — he goes straight for the aorta. ~ Robin Williams

The one true master of stand up. ~ Bill Hicks