• I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water - I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
  • Brian, Denis. Tallulah, Darling: A Biography of Tallulah Bankhead. New York: Macmillan Publishing (1980).

• They used to shoot her through gauze. You should shoot me through linoleum. (Referring to Shirley Temple)

• I'm as pure as the driven slush.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

• The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• Here's a rule I recommend. Never practice two vices at once.
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, "I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."
  • Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
  • Bankhead, Tallulah. Tallulah: My Autobiography. University Press of Mississippi; illustrated edition edition (July 7, 2004)

• "Codeine...bourbon..." (Tallulah Bankhead's last coherent words).
  • Brian, Denis. Tallulah, Darling: A Biography of Tallulah Bankhead. New York: Macmillan Publishing (1980), pg.1

• Well, I don't know, darling -- he's never sucked my cock. (When asked for her opinion on whether a male celebrity of the time was a homosexual.)

• My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine.
  • Brian, Denis. Tallulah, Darling: A Biography of Tallulah Bankhead. New York: Macmillan Publishing (1980), pg.2

• I've tried several varieties of sex, all of which I hate. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic; the others give me a stiff neck and/or lockjaw.
  • Brian, Denis. Tallulah, Darling: A Biography of Tallulah Bankhead. New York: Macmillan Publishing (1980)

Unsourced

• (On why she called everyone "dahling"): Because all my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
• Don't think I don't know who's been spreading gossip about me . . . After all the nice things I've said about that hag (Bette Davis). When I get hold of her, I'll tear out every hair of her mustache!
• Say anything about me, dahling, as long as it isn't boring.
• (to Joan Crawford):" Are you wearing a new perfume?"
  • (Joan Crawford replies): "It's called Come To Me."
  • (Tallulah): " Funny, it doesn't smell like cum to me!"