The Fairly OddParents Quotations

The Fairly OddParents is a Nickelodeon animated television series created by Butch Hartman. The series follows the life a 10-year-old boy, Timmy Turner and his two wish-granting fairies, Cosmo and Wanda.

The Fairly OddParents!

[First lines of the series]

Dad: Thanks for babysitting tonight, Vicky. Timmy just loves making new friends, don't you Timmy?

Vicky: No problem, Mr. Turner! I just love Timmy. [grabs Timmy] We're gonna be best pals, right, Timmy?

Timmy: Oxygen...darkness...

Vicky: All right, squirt, three things: 1) Stay out of my way. 2) Go to bed early. 3) Do the dishes.

Timmy: Mom told you to do 'em!

Vicky: Oh yeah... well, you wouldn't want her to find this magazine, would you? [holds up a magazine titled "Chix"]

Timmy: That's not mine! Mom will never believe you.

Vicky: Ha! Well, I wouldn't say that; it works great at my house! Just ask my little brother. [dials on the phone and a child screaming is heard on the receiver]

Timmy: Oh Magic 9 Ball, when will my parents get back from the movies? [reading answer] Titanic: Director's Cut?! They'll be there all night! Man, that's dumb!

[He throws the Magic 9 Ball at the wall, causing it to break open. A magic aura forms from the ball, then swirls into thin air, causing the entrance of Cosmo & Wanda.]

Cosmo and Wanda: HEY TIMMY!

Cosmo: I'm Cosmo!

Wanda: I'm Wanda!

Both: And we're... YOUR FAIRY GODPARENTS!

Wanda: What do you think, Timmy?

Timmy: I think I`m I calling the cops.

Vicky: What's going on in here?!

Timmy: Nothing.

Vicky: What's with the fish?

Timmy: Uh, those are my godfish-- goldfish!

Vicky: Fish are riddled with germs. I wouldn't want you getting sick. Maybe I should flush 'em!

Timmy: No!

Cosmo: Should we do something?

Wanda: Well, he's got to wish for it first!

Cosmo: Ooh, I hate that rule.

Wanda: I'm calling a union meeting.

Vicky: I want those things out of here or it's toilet time for the two of them!

Wanda: [sarcastically] Sweet girl.

Cosmo: I love her fangs.

Timmy: Can you make her into a giant chocolate shake?

Cosmo: Oooh, may I, Pookie?

Wanda: Of course, Stallion.

[Cosmo turns Vicky into a giant snake.]

Timmy: Aaaaahhhhh!

Wanda: He said "chocolate shake, not "chocolate snake!"

Cosmo: I got to get this thing fixed!

Vicky: You can't do this to me! I'm the babysitter!

Wanda: [sits on Vicky, as a giant baby] Goo goo!

Cosmo: [as Groucho Marx] That's the first time the baby ever sat on the sitter!

Vicky: Help!

Cosmo: Sorry! The secret word was pie! [throws a pie in Vicky's face]

Cosmo: Sorry, is it my breath?

Cosmo: [as train] Woo Woo Baby Woo Woo!

Timmy: Hey mom, Vicky's the best friend ever! Can she babysit all the time?

Mom: Of course, dear.

Cosmo: Looks like we'll be here a while!

Wanda: At least we'll be clean!

Where's the Wand?

Cosmo: A magic wand in the wrong hands could mean total disaster... and Vicky's hands are the worst hands around!

Cosmo: Time to use the most powerful magical weapon in my arsenal... me!

The Fairy Flu!

Vicky: Hello, I'm Vicky, and I'm... THE ABSOLUTE RULER!

Boy: How come you're the absolute ruler? [Other party guests back away]

Vicky: Because, my little artichoke, I'm 16 and you're 10. DO THE MATH!!!!

Vicky: These are the [birthday] party rules. Now I am only gonna say this once, so pay attention!. Now then... [Cosmo sneezes and she turns into a frog] Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit... [catches a fly with her tongue] Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit! [changes back] Got it?!

Kids: Yaayyyyy!

Vicky: Sub humans...

Clown: Show-off.

Tootie: Why are we stuffing your balloons with sauerkraut?

Timmy: Uh... they're rare German balloons. Now stuff, stuff like the wind!

Clown: [sarcastically] "No mom, I don't wanna go to college, no I want to 'follow my dreams' and become a clown."

Vicky: And now I can catch up on my beauty sleep, not that I need any.

The Temp!

Jorgen: As a reward for doing so good, you get to do wand-ups.

Cosmo: That doesn't sound so bad.

Jorgen: 18 million, NOW!

Cosmo and Wanda: 1, 2, 3...

The Zappys

Timmy: [on why he loves Cosmo and Wanda] Why? What do you mean why? They're my best friends. Well, they make me feel safe. They make me feel loved. They may make a few mistakes. But they're my pals, and I love them more than anything.

News Co-Hosts: ZAPPY FIGHT!!

The Really Bad Day!

Vicky Khan: It's way past your bedtime, mister!

Timmy: Who's that?

Genghis Khan: Uh, that's my babysitter, Vicky Khan.

Timmy: Wow, Vicky must have a real extended family!

The Big Problem/Power Mad! [1.1]

Wanda: You can't spell "Vicky" without "icky".

Vicky: All right, Twerp! Time for bed.

Timmy: But it's only 6:04.

Vicky: Well, it's 9:04 on the east coast. BED!!!!!!!

Cosmo: (after seeing Timmy's clock change from 6:04 to 6:05) Now it's 9:05 on the east coast!

Timmy: Well, how do I look?

Both: Ew!

Timmy: 'Ew' is right! I don't have any hair!

Wanda: Sure you do! It's here on your back!

[Timmy, having wished himself to be older, sees his Mom and Dad kissing]

Timmy: (covers his eyes) Arrrgh! It burns!

Fairy-Gram: Fairy-Gram for Cosmo and Wanda.

Cosmo: I'm Cosmo and Wanda!

Fairy-Gram: Now that your kid is big and hairy, your next assignment is mean and scary.

Wanda: You mean we're being reassigned?

Fairy-Gram: Ha ha ha! I mean, Yes, and we're all very sorry.

Cosmo: Can we have a couple of hours to say good-bye to Timmy?

Fairy-Gram: Can I have five dollars? Two hours.

Cosmo: Miniature golf is a great kids' game!

[Cosmo and Wanda are turning into a tee and ball]

Timmy: Ow! My back!

Wanda: Let me try the Age-O-Meter. Kid...adult...Oh, no! You've become even more of an adult!

Cosmo: We've got to resort to the heavy artillery!

Vicky: This is for the TV, the VCR, the DVD, the surround sound, the combination microwave popcorn maker/neck massager, and I don't know what this plug does, but I ain't payin' for the electricity!

Timmy: I lost a life...on level 1! What am I, 4?!

Cosmo: [as Ricky] Wanda! You've got some splainin' to do!

Wanda: [as Lucy] Even though that's not the way everybody says "explaining", I respect our differences and your right to say it in the way you want.

Cosmo: Eh, babaloo?

Wanda: That, too.

Cosmo & Poof-like character: Waaaahhhhhh!

Wanda: Just let me clairify this, you married your car?

Cosmo: Yep, now my kids get seventeen miles to the gallon!

[Timmy enters Level 8 of the video game, which looks like an underwater version of his Aunt Gertrude's house

Aunt Gertrude: (as a giant lobster with large claws) Hello, Timmy! Let Aunt Gertrude pinch those chubby cheeks of yours!

Timmy: I hope she means my face!

Timmy: I wish I had cheeks of steel!

Wanda: I hope you mean your face!

Timmy: I do!

Wanda: (as a reporter) And now here's Cosmo with the weather.

Cosmo: (holding a feather) I thought you said "feather"!

Cosmo: It's a show about nothing!...How do we know when it's over?

Vicky: (watching the show) I do. (changes the channel)

Cosmo: Follow me to the TV! I've got an idea!

Wanda: (writing in a book) Wednesday, March 22nd: Cosmo had an idea!

LATER

Cosmo: I'm all out of ideas!

Wanda: (writing in book) Well, easy come, easy go!

LATER

Cosmo: I had another idea!

Wanda: (writing in book) This was a magnificent day for Cosmo!

Vicky: Well, keep it down! You know when I'm watching you, I'm watching something on TV!!

A.J.: It's 6:13, Timmy always goes to the bathroom at 6:13.

Chester: That's weird! He always struck as a 7:43 whizzinator.

Timmy: Those creeps! Wait 'til I reset them.

Wanda: No! If you turn off the game while they're in there, or if they lose their 3 lives, they'll disappear forever!

Timmy: Then I wish they're out of the game!

Cosmo: You can't! Quote: "I wish for a video game that's challenging - a game that you can't wish yourself out of." Unquote.

Wanda: You either win the game, or take off the helmet.

Timmy: You guys don't do anything halfway, do you?

Cosmo: Nope! We're two halves of a whole idiot.

Cosmo: I'm a Cosmo Coin! You get one wish!

Timmy: I wish I had something to stop Vicky!

Cosmo: That's just vague enough to work!

[Cosmo creates a door, and Timmy's parents come in]

Mom: Vicky! It's us.

Dad: Timmy's Mom and Dad.

Mom: We're back!

Dad: You can go home now.

Vicky: (screaming and melting) Nooooo!

Spaced Out/TransParents! [1.2]

[first instance of Timmy's recurring explanation for the amazing things he has as the result of his fairy godparents]

Chester: Killer Crash suit, dude!

A.J: Yeah -wherever did you get it?

Timmy: Uh...Internet.

Mark Chang: PUNY HUMANS! Wassup?! I'm going to suck your brains through these BENDY STRAWS!!!!!

Wanda: We have good news and bad news.

Timmy: What's the good news?

Cosmo: The alien we got you is actually a prince from the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.

Wanda: And his parents are on their way to destroy the Earth and rescue their son!

Timmy: What's the bad news?

Wanda: Oh, wait...that was the bad news!

Timmy: (shouting) Then what's the good news?!

Cosmo: I found a nickel!

Timmy: I, Timmy, candy crunching warrior of Earth, have good news and bad news.

Cosmo: The good news is I named my nickel Philip!

King Grippulor: What's the bad news?

Cosmo: It's a girl nickel!

Mark Chang: Okay, dudes, things aren't going well with Vicky, so I've decided to suck out your brains and give 'em to her as gifts.

Chester: You can suck out our minds, livers, and spleens - but we will never surrender!

Mark Chang: Silence, puny Earth children! No one can save you now!

Both: Tim Nebula!

Timmy: Intergalactic scum, your reign of terror ends now!

Mrs. Chang: The flowers touch his skin but he neither bleeds nor burns!!!

Timmy: (After eating the dreaded chocolate) Hey! There's peanuts in this!

Mark Chang: It does not matter how hideous you are on the outside, but how evil and vicious you are on the inside. Right? Am I right?

[While Timmy shows off the dinosaur he wished for to the class]

Mr. Crocker, Timmy's Teacher: Incredible! No normal child could have access to that kind of genetic technology. There's only one logical explanation...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!

[At the end of a three way phone call, Timmy and Chester simply hang up]

A.J.: Doesn't anyone say "goodbye" anymore?

Mr. Crocker: If they survive, THEY'RE FAIRIES! If they don't, I HAVE TENURE!

Cosmo: Wow! This coffee stuff is great! Coffee, coffee, coffee!

Mr. Crocker: Can I offer you anything with that? Cream, sugar, magic?

Wanda: What was that last one?

Mr. Crocker: Sugar?

Principal Waxleplax: A week of detention for all of you! (to Timmy) You for faking your show and tell protect! (to Chester and A.J.) You for going into the girls bathroom! (to Crocker) And you for trapping me in a toilet paper cocoon and promising two young boys they could enslave the earth! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!!!

A Wish Too Far!/Tiny Timmy! [1.3]

Trixie Tang: May I grace you with my presence?

Timmy: It'll be your honor!

Trixie Tang: Oh, you're good!

Timmy: What do those Popular Kids have that I don't?

Cosmo: Besides the clothes and the looks and the money and the stuff?

[Timmy has become popular, so Chester and A.J. have to find a new friend]

Chester: Elmer, you're the new Timmy. (puts Timmy's hat on Elmer)

Elmer: Neat! Can my boil have a hat, too?

Timmy: What's going on?

Wanda: You're being sued by Fairy World, and Jorgen Von Strangle is the persecutor!

Timmy: Don't you mean prosecutor?

Wanda: No!

Cosmo: I'm gonna be the defense attorney!

Timmy & Wanda: NO!!!

(Cosmo turns into a defense attorney)

Cosmo: And, for my first legal maneouvre, I'd like to make a motion! (starts dancing)

Cosmo: Hi, Timmy! Look, I'm a lawyer! (changes into a fireman) Now I'm a fireman! Whee!

Cosmo: Don't look at me. I'm just a coal miner!

Mom: Take good care of our fancy new vase while we're gone! Oh, and Timmy, too. Keep an eye on him.

Vicky: (glaring at vase) I hate you. Stop mocking me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Timmy: Look at the size of this food! If I could shrink everyone in the world down to this size, there'd be enough food to end world hunger!

Wanda: Oh, that's beautiful, Timmy!

Cosmo: But not why we're here! Look! Big candy!

Timmy: Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

Single Cell Princess: (very fast Valley girl) My interests include wiggling and swimming. My turn-offs are Penicillin and Antibiotics. But enough about me, tell me about you.

Timmy: Well, my name's Timmy and I have a short attention span and... (wanders off)

Vicky: That's right, Timmy's throwing a "Break Timmy's Stuff" party at his house!

Cosmo: We're in Kidney Land! Oh, my gosh! Look!

Cosmo & Wanda: It's Walt Kidney!

Vicky: What?! Cute little animals?! And they're CLEANING?! GET OUT!

Father Time!/Apartnership! [1.4]

Dad: TROPHY-SENSES TINGLING!!! TO THE TROPHY CASE!

Dad: What happened here?!?!

Timmy: Uh...I melted your trophy with heat vision?

Dad: Where did you get heat vision?

Timmy: Uhh...Internet?

Cosmo: Oh, he's good.

Dad: I'm so mad I wish blinding beams of heat would shoot out of my eyes right now!!

(Cosmo starts to grant his wish but Wanda stops him)

Wanda: No, no, ours is the one with the silly pink hat.

Dad: Go to your room and don't come out until you learn responsibility for other people's property...or welding skills...whichever comes first!

Timmy: Now it's time for Scary Stories From The Future! In the future, there will be 500 TV channels.

Young Dad: Far out!

Timmy: But nothing to watch!

Young Dad: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

1970's Cosmo: The system's trying to take Timmy prisoner!

1970's Wanda: We're all prisoners...on the inside!

1970's Cosmo: I love you!

1970's Wanda: That little Billy Gates and his crazy ideas.

Timmy: [as Young Dad, offering his trophy] Hi, Mom! I'm Dad. Will you take this; go out with me; marry me; and someday have a boy with a silly pink hat?

Young Mom: Okay. I'll come by your house later!

Timmy: [as Young Dad] Groovy! If I'm asleep in a tent in the backyard, wake me up and tell me about the race, in excruciating detail!

Young Mom: Okay. [wanders off]

Dad: This is me graduating dictator college. And this is me taking over the world - with smiles!

Wanda: I hate everything! I hate cats, I hate this day. I'm going to bed...which I hate!

Wanda: You're such a Mama's boy!

Cosmo: I'm not!

Wanda: [turns Cosmo into a baby] Now you are!

Cosmo: Hey! You made me make a poopy!

Cosmo: Let's get something straight! I'm not bright! Big words confuse me! I have the attention span of a rodent! But Wanda loves me anyway. She makes me happy and THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR YOU!

Mama Cosma: It's not working! He's falling in love with her again!

Cupid: Well, where's the dough? You know, as the god of love, I love cash.

Mama Cosma: And I love the idea of Cosmo not being able to love Wanda.

Dad: Okay honey, are you ready for your anniversary present?

Mom: [blindfolded] Oh, I'm so excited! What is it? What is it?

Dad: Open your eyes!

Mom: It's a blindfold! Oh, I've always wanted one!

Chin Up!/Dog's Day Afternoon [1.5]

The Crimson Chin: Great jaws of justice! Spatula Woman!

The Crimson Chin: My powers...gone! There must be some sort of Chintonite in this facility!

Timmy: (tied to a giant hairy leg) Couldn't you have shaved this thing?!

The Bronze Kneecap: (pointing to his kneecap) Don't make me use this!!!

Timmy: The Crimson Chin is still a hero, right?! He'll save me, right?!

The Crimson Chin: Stupid ketchup!

Timmy: Well, uh... besides, I'm not in any real trouble, right?! If I were in any real danger, my Godparents would get me outta here, right?!

Cosmo: Stupid ketchup!

The Crimson Chin: By my mother's mandible - I say NAY!

[Timmy wins the Comic Book Convention fancy dress competition]

Wanda: He's my hero!

Cosmo: (holding a hero sandwich) And this is mine! (attempts to squeeze ketchup while shaking it up and down, but can't) Stupid ketchup!

Timmy: Dogs have a better sense of smell. And they can see in black and white. And they can go to the bathroom anywhere they want!

Cosmo: So can I. I'm just polite!

Cosmo: (sing-song) I married the smart one!

Wanda: (sing-song) And I married the...well, he's cute, right?

Cosmo: Ooh, yeah - I'm gonna swing, Daddy-o! I'm gonna call up all my old friends (leafing through book) Lessee, Wanda, Wanda, Wanda with a star beside it, Panda, no that's "Wanda" with a smudge on the 'W'. I...I...I miss Wanda!

[floating at a typewriter]

Wanda: Finally, a romance novel to shake the ages. (starts typing) It was dawn. I was in my towel when the ninjas attacked...

Dream Goat!/The Same Game [1.6]

Vicky: Here's a physics lesson, Poindexter. Undies plus gravity equals WEDGIE!

Wanda: Awww! Goat love!

Cosmo: They say it's the most honest love there is!

[Timmy is trapped by a mob after admitting to setting the town mascot Chompy free]

Timmy: I'm doomed!

Cosmo: Well, you've lived a good life, right?

Timmy: I'm only ten!

Cosmo: I said good, not long!

Dr. Bender DDS: Well, Bucky The Buck-Toothed Tooth Boy, that's where you're WRONG!

Cosmo: If you're playing Timmy Ball, wear a helmet.

Wanda: What about Wanda Ball?

Cosmo: I know that game!

Wanda: Do you know I use a cinder block?

Cosmo: Didn't know that!

Christmas Every Day [2.1]

Timmy: Who are all these gifts for?

Vicky: Nobody. I just like making you work!

Vicky: Merry Christmas Mr. and Mrs. Turner. Is it time for my Christmas bonus?

Dad: Yep. This year you get to leave early!

Timmy: I love the smell of Christmas in the morning!

Chet Ubetcha: It's ho-ho-horrible! As Christmas enters its third week, the world screams, "Christmas is entering its third week!"

Chet Ubetcha: (on a television in a shop window) As the world falls apart at the seams, people everywhere are asking "who is responsible for this?", and "how can we tear them limb from limb?"!

Timmy: Err... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Cosmo: Yeah! He's cute when he's angry!

Wanda: What do you second rate, not-Christmas holidays want with our Timmy?

Easter Bunny: He better unwish that wish, or he's gonna an egg where the sun don't shine!

Cosmo: In the closet?

Cowgirl: Merry Christmas! (Hands Timmy some gas for his snowmobile) Or, as we say in Montana; you're standing in cow manure!

Timmy: Awesome!

Timmy: I made it all the way across the ocean to Greenland and nothing bad happened!

[Large shark breaks through the ice and eats the snowmobile]

Timmy: (looks to camera) Well, that's inconvenient.

Christmas song from "Christmas Every Day"

Timmy: Christmas Day is here once more.

Wanda: Gifts, and love, and joy galore.

Cosmo: A special day that wipes the floor

All: With the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four!

Timmy: I wish every day could be Christmas.

Cause Santa brings gifts every year.

He's reading my list,

he's feeding the deer,

In Persia, England, Ireland, and Isreal.

he's hauling my gifts from the North Pole to here.

I wish every day could be Christmas.

Cause every other holiday reeeeks!

New Years Eve's for Mom and Dad,

The Easter Bunny's eggs smell REALLY BAD!!!

Valentines Day always makes me sad...

Dad: Cause Timmy just can't get a girlfriend.

Timmy: WHAT??!!

Cosmo and Wanda: I wish every day could be Christmas.

Cause nice fairies get their rewards.

Wanda: I got pudding, I got slacks.

Cosmo: I got all my back hair waxed!

Cosmo and Wanda: Santa grants wishes while we relax,

Cosmo: And Timmy still can't get a girlfriend!

Timmy: Stop that!

There's just no other day like Christmas.

My family stays here, it's real cool.

Just me, Mom, and Dad.

I'm so very glad.

There's no Vicky,

No Vicky,

No school.

Cosmo: And no Vicky!

Timmy: Right!

I wish every day could be Christmas.

Then I get the best gift of all.

My parents stay home to say...

Mom and Dad: We love you, Noggy.

Dad: MINE!!

Timmy: Wouldn't Christmas each day be the coolest of all?

I wish it were Christmas...

How I wish it were Christmas.

I wish it were Christmas...

Each day.

[remix after the Twelve Days of Christmas song]

Timmy: I wished each day would be Christmas.

We know it's a clue,

To revice the temptation.

In Spain, Canada, Japan, and Africa.

I'm a pronoun,

Chester: They're a pronoun.

AJ: He's a pronoun!

Cosmo: She's a pronoun.

Wanda: Wouldn't you like to be a pronoun, too?

Chester: Won't becuase Christmas doesn't come from a store, means a little bit more!

The Halloween pumpkins tickle REALLY SILLY!!!!!

AJ: Pirates and pirate-fighting can always make me unhappy...

Crocker: For more than a decade, were all out of ammo, get us some more snacks!

AJ: ...And the ammo fires donuts, popcorn, pretzels, cookies, pies, and cakes! To surprise we never have to be scared to do what was right!!

I just want to have a pledge.

I really just want to have one.

Crocker: He likes to! And he heal is boo-boos.

Chester: Errg. Ninevites.

[reprise at end of episode]

Timmy: I wished every day would be Christmas.

Jeepers, how foolish I was.

It isn't a gift, it isn't a toy

It's the family and friends that I really enjoy!

I wish that tomorrow weren't Christmas.

But I wish that the feeling would stay.

Cause Christmas can always be there in your heart.

And never be locked to just one single day.

It's great that tomorrow ain't Christmas.

In Dimmsdale, London and Rome.

If I had just one wish

I think it'd be this...

I really just want to go home now.

I really just wish I were home.

Boys in the Band/Hex Games [2.2]

Vicky: MOVE IT, TWERP! It's called 'Pay-Per-View'; which means if I don't view, THEN SOMEONE'S GONNA PAY!

Timmy: Yeah, well, you know what I wish? I wish something bad would happen to him!

Wanda: Okay, but you can't wish him maimed.

Timmy: Okay, then. I wish-

Cosmo: Or injured.

Timmy: Then-

Wanda: Or beaten...or dead.

Timmy: Fine. I wish that the worst possible non-lethal thing would happen to Chip Skylark right now!

Chip Skylark: Tuesday's apple sauce day.

[Vicky has captured Chip Skylark and is showing him her dresses]

Vicky: Do you like THIS one that makes me look like Mrs Chip Skylark, or THIS one that makes me look like Mrs. Chip Skylark!?!

Vicky: I love you, Chip Skylark! I'm gonna call all my friends and invite them to the wedding! First, I gotta find some friends.

Chip Skylark: Another day, another wackadoo holding me against my will.

Vicky: You can watch this while I find someone who will perform a marriage ceremony between a crazed fan and a celebrity teen hostage. To the Internet!

Timmy: I'm really sorry about [Vicky holding you hostage], Chip.

Chip: Oh, that's all right, little pal. It's not like you wished for this to happen.

[Chip Skylark's Icky Vicky song]

V...I...C...K...Y... The sound of her name makes the little kids cry. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Hey Vicky, you're so, so icky. Just the thought of being around you makes me oh, so sicky.

Hey Vicky won't you please explain how you get so much enjoyment out of causing kids pain.

Oh Oh Oh! A chick who's just plain mean. A sour sweet sixteen.

She's a fire breathing dragon in a pair of black jeans.

Eeew!

Hey Vicky won't you tell us true; how we ever got the bad luck to be stuck with you.

Oh Vicky can we say one thing, it's your super total yuckiness that makes us wanna sing

Icky Vicky.

Eeew! Eeew!

Icky Vicky.

Eeew! Eeew!

Icky Vicky.

Vicky: LOOK CHIP!! I found the only Justice of the Peace on earth who can marry a couple against their will!

[an astronaut is planting a flag on the moon, when Timmy floats past on a skateboard]

Astronaut: Houston, we have another problem... Over.

Controller: It's always problem, problem, problem with you guys. Don't you ever call just to say "hi"? Over.

[Cosmo is riding on Timmy's back as he skates through a jungle, in a pastiche of Yoda and Luke in The Empire Strikes Back]

Cosmo: Learn to skate in difficult environments you must... because scared of gorillas am I!

A.J.: Wow! Look at Timmy roll nimbly back and forth! I mean...[looks at a book of Skate Lingo] Shred!

A.J.: Hey! Vicky's totally cheating! I mean... [looks at a book of Skate Lingo] Cheating!

A.J.: [explaining to Vicky why she can't do the "Timmy Tuck"] Timmy's small and nice; you're tall and weighed down with too much evil.

Vicky: (refusing to give Timmy the crown) Oh, you want this crown? You got a better chance of some loser 12 year old waistory falling out of the sky and plowing me into the ground!

(Francis falls out of the sky on a skateboard screaming and plowing Vicky in the ground.)

Vicky: Here you go.

Cosmo: (seeing Chester crash) "Wow, his whole face hit at the same time! He must be really good!"

Boy Toy/Inspection Detection [2.3]

Crimson Chin Action Figure: There's evil afoot...I mean, a-Chin!

Chester: Wow! A Timmy Turner action figure! With thumb-sucking action! Yo!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I eat evil...for breakfast!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I have goats...in my pants!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Justice...thy name is Chin!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Of all my muscles, my brain is one of 'em!

Timmy: I wonder why I got so bored with you?

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Check out my dimple, it's huge!

Timmy: Now I remember; your action phrases stunk!

[Vicky is demanding that two boys do her chores]

Vicky: You do my dishes, and you cut my lawn.

Boy: But these are your chores.

Vicky: And these are High Definition photos of you two sneaking into an R-rated movie! AAAAAAAAAND...ACTION!

Vicky: Well, well, well, what's this? Two new toys? [grabs Cosmo and Wanda] Well, guess who they get to meet!

Tootie: Not Mr. Hammer!

Cosmo & Wanda: Mr. Hammer?!

Vicky: Yes, Mr. Hammer and his friend, Mrs. Saw! [Vicky takes out a hammer and saw.]

Cosmo: Hi, Mrs. Saw! I'm Cosmo, and this is Wanda! [Wanda glares at him.] Don't you want to be a good host?

Tootie: NO! Those are Timmy's dolls!

Vicky: Oh, that changes EVERYTHING! [she takes out a blowtorch.]

Cosmo: Hey! Mr. Fire! Have you met Wanda?

[Vicky's dog Doidle peed, which was actually spilled lemonade]

Vicky: Bad dog! You know you're only supposed to do that outside or at Timmy's house!

Timmy: I'm just...

Cosmo & Wanda: A stupid ten year old boy!

Timmy: Right. And I'm not interested in girls, and I won't be until I'm...

Cosmo & Wanda: A stupid eleven year old boy!

Tootie: Then...there's hope? THERE'S HOPE!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I am totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie. This way, she'll always have a little piece of you that she can smother and choke with love.

Timmy: Wow! That was an oddly specific action phrase.

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I put the "man" in mandible!

Vicky: When it rains, it melts!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Evil redheads make boy bands say "Ewwwwww."

Vicky: Why won't this stupid toy BREAK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Mom and Dad are eating breakfast]

Dad: Honey, you've outdone yourself again! What do you call this?

Mom: Cold cereal and milk.

Dad: It's marvelous! I'm falling in love with you all over again!

Dad: Did you notice all of those nice things Timmy has? I don't remember getting him those nice things. Why don't I have nice things?! I want some nice things!

Dad: [seeing that Timmy's room is full of stuff that he hasn't bought for him] Young man, where did you get all these nice things?

Timmy: Uh...Internet?

Dad: And where did you get Internet?

Timmy: Uh...uh...

Dad: [gasps] He's stammering! Our son is the Wall-2-Wall-Mart shoplifter! [screams like a girl]

Timmy: What?! You don't think I stole this stuff, do you?

Dad: [screams like a girl again]

Timmy: That's a yes...but I didn't do it!

Dad: [screams like a girl again then passes out]

Mom: That's it, young man, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day!

Mom: Timmy, we love you and they just want to help!

Timmy: Oh, yeah? Do you love me enough to give me a chance to show you that you're wrong?

Dad: Well, all right, son. One chance, but if your wrong it's off to the clink...which I hear is nice! Why don't I get to go to the nice clink?!

Action Packed/Smarty Pants [2.4]

[While watching television, Cosmo is disguised as a box of popcorn, Timmy eats part of him]

Cosmo: Aaah! My brains! Babble and drool!

[Timmy is transformed into a Bruce Willis style action hero]

Timmy: Awesome! I have a five o'clock shadow!

Cosmo: And it's only 7 A.M.!

Timmy: The horror! The pure, unadulterated PG-13 horror!

(Timmy is studying for his quiz):

Cosmo: Hey, wanna play the Not Study Game?

Timmy: How do you play?

Cosmo (after shoving Timmy's textbooks off the desk): You're already playing!

Cosmo & Timmy: YAY!

(after a "Not Study" poof, we see Cosmo and Timmy playing the Crash Nebula video game)

Timmy: Shouldn't you be rescuing a calculator from a tree?"

A.J.: Spell "calculator".

Timmy: C... A... L... Q... (A.J. smiles at him) Later! (runs away)

Timmy: I don't know anything anymore!

Cosmo: Welcome to my world!

Super Bike/A Mile in My Shoes [2.5]

Wanda: And don't make him re-live Super Toilet!

Cosmo: It took the plunger...THE WHOLE PLUNGER! (curls into fetal position and sucks his thumb)

Cosmo: Hi, Super Bike! Meet Super Screwdriver!

Super Bike: Super Toilet.

Cosmo: Aaaaaaaaaaah! So...much...clogging! (curls into fetal position and sucks his thumb again)

Wanda: Super Bike... Meet Super Toilet!

Timmy: [poofing into Hairy World] Fairy World?

Hairy monster: Hairy World.

[A fairy cow poofs in]

Cow: Dairy World?

Timmy: Hairy World.

Cow: Oh darn it! [poofs away]

Cosmo: (rubbing the wands together like sticks) Huh! If I could just light these candles, we could eat!

Wanda: Did it ever occur to you we're in a fishbowl filled with water?

Cosmo: That's why I'm trying to light these candles. Somebody's got to dry up all this wet food!

Timmy: Hey guys, what's new? (the candles light)

Wanda: Uh...the laws of physics?

Mom: [finds Wanda (as Timmy) watching TV] Timmy! What are you doing up this late? It's way past your bedtime!

Wanda: But...uh...but...

Dad: No "buts", young man. You march straight to bed, and don't make me get the giant robot in here.

[Mom and Dad then walk into the kitchen and find Cosmo (as Timmy) sneaking into the cookie jar.]

Mom: Timmy! What are you doing in here? You were just in there.

Cosmo: Uh.... no I wasn't?

Dad: Well, that settles that. But you know you're not supposed to eat sweets this late at night...or change from pink to green.

Mom: (seeing Cosmo disguised as Timmy) Oh no! Timmy feels warm! And he's green!

Dad: Warm? Green? Those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli! Get the thermometer! And the salad shooter!

Mom: (spotting Timmy (as a gill-less fish) floating upside-down in the fishbowl) I better get the fish a thermometer, too!

Timvisible/That Old Black Magic [2.6]

[Timmy is being chased by Francis, the school bully.]

Wanda: You know, sweetie, running away from your problems never solved anything.

Francis: (knocking other children out of the way) Turner!

Cosmo: But it's great cardio - run, Timmy, run!

Spanish teacher: ¿Donde esta el queso de governmente?

Cosmo: (holding up a piece of cheese emblazoned with the U.S. flag) ¡Aquí! ¡Tengo un puerco en mis chones!

Wanda: You have a hog in your pants?!

Cosmo: ¡Sí! (pulls a pig out of his pants)

Spanish teacher: Then you get extra credit!

All: Yay! Extra credit!

Dad: [holding two cell phones] Turner One, this is Turner Two, come in, over. Turner One come, in! WHY DON'T I ANSWER?!

Anti-Cosmo: I'm Anti-Cosmo, [pouring tea] I'm not an idiot in any way whatsoever.

Anti-Wanda: And I'm the Anti-Wanda! I'm incredibly stupid and I eat with my feets! [begins eating a sandwich with her feet]

[the Anti-Fairies are escaping from Fairy World]

Wanda: Jorgen, you have to get them back!

Jorgen: And I will! I will use every urge of my awesome fairy powers to... (factory whistle appears and blows) Shift's over - your problem!

Aide: Mister President, you almost caused a nuclear war! What are you going to do next?

President: I'm goin' to Escalator Land!

[at Escalator Land in a flashback]

Wanda: I thought you liked that other amusement park, Escalator Land.

Timmy: Escalator Land is for babies...

[Flashback to Timmy's visit, riding an escalator)]

Young Timmy: Dad, when do we get to the rides?

Dad: This is the ride!

Mom and Dad: Yippee!

Foul Balled/The Boy Who Would Be Queen [2.7]

Timmy: [after being turned into a girl] EEEEEKKKK! What did you do?! I didn't wish for this!

Wanda: You said "I wish" and "Girl".

Timmmy: Oh yeah?! Well, you want to know what I think?

Cosmo: Who cares what you think? You're a girl now!

Timantha: I'm off to the mall to find something Trixie will like, but just so you have something to laugh at while I'm gone, I wish you were a woman and you were a man!

Cosmo and Wanda: What?!!!

Timantha: You're my godparents. No choice.

[zap! Cosmo looks like his mother, Mama Cosma and Wanda looks like her father, Big Daddy, thanks to Timantha. Mama Cosma only appeared once, and Big Daddy has not yet appeared as of the date that this episode premiered.]

Timantha: Congratulations, you're now Cosma and Wando!

Cosma: What's happening to me? How come I suddenly know which boy bands rock out loud?

Wando: I don't know. Why am I tempted to scratch myself and not care who sees?

Cosma: [From behind the closed bathroom door] Would it kill you to leave the lid down?

Wando: Would it kill you to look before you sit?

Totally Spaced Out/The Switch Glitch [2.8]

Wanda: We don't want to be [Vicky's] godparents! She's mean!

Cosmo: Yeah, we like Timmy better! His hat is pink!

Vicky: (as a 5-year-old) But...I'm miserable! Why doesn't anybody...believe me? I'm-(a bowl of ice cream appears in front of her) Ooh, vanilla! (starts eating)

Wanda: Why are you being so nice to Vicky?

Timmy: If it wasn't for Vicky making me so miserable, I wouldn't have gotten you guys in the first place. And the best thing is, when I wish Vicky back into a 10-year-old, she won't remember a thing!

Wanda: I hope you've learned your lesson, Timmy...two wrongs don't make a right!

Cosmo: Yeah, but three rights make a left! And now it's time for the show! (turns into Carmen Miranda and starts doing the tutti-frutti dance)

Mighty Mom and Dyno Dad/Knighty Knight [2.9]

Dad: And that's all you need to know about where babies come from!

Timmy: But what's the machine for?

Dad: I'll tell you when you're older!

Fairly Fairly Quite Contrary/Nectar of the Odds [2.10]

Juandissimo: Wanda, my love! (begins kissing "Wanda's" hand) I've missed you more than the sun misses the dawn!

Wanda: Well, that's all very flattering...

Cosmo: But that's my hand pal, and guess what, I don't need magic to turn it into a FIST! (tries unsuccessfully) (Juandissimo then turns Cosmo into a tortoise and his wand lands several feet away) When I get my wand..oh, you are in for it! (crawls towards wand)

Juandissimo: (over-dramatically) You see how he almost turned his hand into a fist?! I am lucky to be alive!

Jorgen: The handsome fairy has failed to rescue his godchild...(the crowd boos)...but he is still very sexy! (the crowd cheers and showers Juandissimo with flowers)

Juandissimo: This, I can live with.

Cosmo: [mocking Juandissimo] Hey, Muscles Magoo! (turns into Juandissimo) Look at me! I'm fancy, and my long black hair flows in the wind!

Juandissimo: Stop making fun of my outer beauty!

Cosmo: I'm strong, but I still lost my woman to an idiot!

[a few moments later]

Cosmo: (turns into a fat Juandissimo) Chunky Hunky!

Juandissimo: STOP!

Cosmo: [turns into a fat monkey Juandissimo] Monkey Chunky Hunky!

Juandissimo: (to Wanda) Your voice...is like the chorus of a thousand angels!

Cosmo: Yeah?! Well, my foot is gonna feel like the chorus of a thousand- (Juandissimo turns Cosmo into a tortoise) REVENGE! REVEEEEEENGE! (starts crawling towards his wand)

Wanda: Why doesn't he just wish for sweeter lemonade?

Cosmo: I can do that! [he takes off his shoes and socks, then sticks his socks into a glass.]

Wanda: I said "sweeter", not "sweatier"!

Cosmo: Oh. I thought you said, "dunk your sweaty socks in Timmy's lemonade"!

Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha with BIG news...I'M THE TALLEST NEWSCASTER ALIVE! DETAILS AT ELEVEN!

Hail to the Chief/Twistory [2.11]

Wanda: (with Cockney accent) Oh no! Without our wands, we can't use our magic to change everything back!

Timmy: (with Cockney accent) I say, this is a bit of a stickywicket! (normal voice) I mean, dude! This reeks!

Fool's Day Out/Deja Vu [2.12]

Wanda: Cosmo thinks everything's funny. Watch. (to Cosmo, speaking in a monotone voice) Pudding.

Cosmo: Ha-ha-ha! She said 'puh', then 'ding'!

Mom: We're going to read fairy tales to low privileged, confused dolphins!

Dad: We're gonna read "The Little Dolphin Who Cried..." [dolphin cry]!

Mom: Have fun, you two!

Vicky: Oh, don't worry. (holds up a bunny suit) We're going to redefine the word fun!

Dad: Hey, guess what, Timmy, we're gonna grade you on your performance! We'll give you an A-! [holds out an A-]

Timmy: An A-minus?!

Dad: Up-bup-bup, questioning the grades, that gives you a B. [holds out a B]

Timmy: But...

Dad: Talking back, that gives you a C! [holds out a C]

Timmy: A C?!

Dad: Raising your voice! D! [holds out a Q]

Timmy: That's a Q!

Dad: That gives you an F, smarty pants! [hands him an F]

Dad: Hey, guess what Timmy, we're gonna grade you on your performance!

Timmy: Oh yeah? Then I'm gonna grade you too!

Dad: A B?!

Timmy: Up-bup-bup, questioning the grades gives you a C!

Dad: Uh...uh...uh...

Timmy: Stammering gives you a D!

Dad: What...are you mad?!

Timmy: Insulting the teacher, F!

Dad: (starts to cry and leaves with Mom]

Timmy: [Timmy is playing a Crash Nebula video game, like he did back in "Smarty Pants."] Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Cosmo: Uh... never cook bacon with your shirt off? [whistling, removes shirt and tie, bacon splatters out of the pan]

Timmy: No. Not that! I wish my life had a reset button!

Timmy: This time I'm ready for Crocker's stupid test!

Mr. Crocker: Heh. Good news, Turner. You've taken F to a new level. I'm going to give you a Super F! Heh-heh-eh-eh-heh!

[Timmy pushes the re-do button]

Mr. Crocker: A D! As in...don't get your hopes up for a high-paying career! (chuckles)

[Timmy pushes the re-do button]

Mr. Crocker: B! As in...but you're not supposed to be this smart.

[Timmy pushes the re-do button]

Mr. Crocker: An A-! As in...oh, wait, I give so few A's, I have no prepared sarcasm.

Scary Godparents [2.13]

Cosmo: This year, I'm a floating human janitor.

Wanda: And I'm a floating human nurse.

Cosmo: Who floats!

Vicky: And I'm the Wicked Witch of "Where's-My-Candy?!"

Dad: I'm going as your mom!

Mom: And I'm going as your dad!

Timmy: And I'm going straight to therapy.

Ruled Out/That's Life [2.14]

Timmy: It's violent!

Dad: And educational!

Both: But mostly violent! YAAAAAAYYYY, VIOLENCE!

Timmy: Dad, run! Eddie's back from the dead and he wants to kill you!!!!!!!!

Shiny Teeth/Odd Odd West [2.15]

Chester: Hey, why does this jail cell have a coyote-shaped dog door?

Sanjay: Because fate is cruel?

Cosmo Con/Wanda's Day Off [2.16]

Dad: Hit it, Britney!

Britney Britney: You got it!

Mom: Hey! Wait a Minute! Dad never asks ME to hit it!

Information Stupor Highway [3.1]

Veronica: Do I think Timmy Turner is neat? Actually, my love for him burns with the white-hot intensity with of a thousand suns, but I can't let Trixie know that. [typing] No way, he's gross!

Timmy: Oh, great. The crazy one likes me.

Various People: (name of person) I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your mother/father by coming in anyway! (breaks down door with battering ram)

Odd Jobs/Movie Magic [3.2]

Timmy: i will never abandon you guys for a girl again, now excuse me while i go abandon you for a girl

Trixie: Because, anonymous voice from nobody, you won an award for Comedy, and everyone knows that Comedy is the lowest form of entertainment. Next to Animation.

Trixie: Oh, my gosh! I forgot! I'm totally in love with rock stars!

Love Struck [3.3]

Timmy: Cosmo! I wish all the girls were back.

Cosmo: You got it! [pause] What's a girl?

Timmy: Well, they're soft, and cuddly!

[Cosmo 'poofs' a big pink cushion into the room.]

Timmy: No, they're warm and they make you feel nice.

[Cosmo 'poofs' a monster truck into the room.]

Cosmo: [To monster truck] Yay! I'm gonna call you Wanda.

One of Cupids' Cherubs We're losing all love power, I'm transferring the emergency backup power to your coffee machine.

Wanda "Whoever you are, you're going down"

Cosmo "Whoever I am, no I'm not!"

Timmy: "Tootie, Will you be my valentine?"

Tootie: "Yes, Yes, YES!"

Timmy: "Oh, well."

(Tootie kisses Timmy alot.)

Cosmo: "Awww, they're cute."

(Tootie keeps kissing him alot.)

Cosmo: "That's so weird."

(Tootie and Timmy are kissing each other.)

Cosmo: "And now, they're getting creepy."

Wanda: "Oh, shut up and kiss me!"

(Wanda kiss Cosmo.)

Cherubs: (while transporting nuclear missles with hearts on them) LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Most Wanted Wish/This is Your Wish [3.4]

Mr. Crocker: Well, Ms. Tang, it appears that Turner is the only living thing left. So I'm going to pair you up with...this rock!

Trixie: Hee hee!!!

Cosmo during his training:

- "I know how to make it (Pompeii) warmer!" (Mt. Vesuvius erupts, destroying the city)
- "I know how to make it (Atlantis) cleaner!" (flushes it down the ocean)

Wanda "Ordinarily, I'd agree with you, (door slams on her) but the slight concussion is making me less suspicious...has that hat always been orange?"

Timmy

Timmy: I have the brain of a 10 year old and the body of a 16 year old. You know what that means. I'm a supermodel!

Timmy:[In a muscular body, after being informed of having his own calendar]: ...I have a calendar?

Aww... [he frowns] and now I'm bored again.

[In a muscular body, after seeing Vicky attempting to woo him]: GAH!

Vicky: So that's your name! You must be Norwegian!

[under Yoodoo magic] "I love Tootie! She's smart, she's funny, and she is so much prettier than anyone! Especially that icky yucky Trixie!"

Timmy: hey mom heres the mothers day present for you.

Timmy's mom: thanks sweetie, but why does it say mome?
Timmy: caus thats your name. mommy.

Cosmo

"She's not perfect, but she's the one who said yes."

(when he, Wanda, and Timmy are inside Timmy's head) "Are you sure this isn't my mind? It seems pretty empty in here..."

"Wow, look at all the failure."

"You see, I went to this clinic, and they said shouting helps you remember things! "I LIKE PIE!!"

"BLUE IS A COLOR!!"

"And this is us cowering in fear (of Jorgen) two minutes ago. And this is us cowering in fear (of Jorgen) thirty seconds ago. And this is us-"

"A hug would be nice!"

"There's still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! Wow, there wasn't a manly word in that sentence."

"My floaty hat! It's a crown again! Wow, still no manly words."

(As Cosma) "Hey, what about us? Aren't you going to change us? Blah blah blah, blah! BLAH!"

"This was the nose I was born with. Can't a guy do something to make himself look pretty? Blah blah, blah! Blah blah, blah! Blah blah!"

During the 'I wish I was the strongest guy on the beach' wish:

Timmy: "Guys! Problem! I'm huge, I'm hurting people, and I'm misunderstood!"

Cosmo: "Just like the IRS!"

About Jimmy Neutron: "I knew you could never trust a Fudge-Head!"

(Timmy and Cosmo meet up in hallway in the magic castle, both dressed up as Carmen Miranda): "Okay, But, since we're dressed like this..." (Starts doing the tutti-frutti dance)

"'We' can mean anything: 'We three', 'We the people', or my favorite, 'WHEEEEE!'" (Zooms around Wanda as though on a motorcycle)

Cosmo: (has Wanda's pink swirly hair instead of his own hair) "Neat! I'm a pink-haired Elvis.

"(Two wrongs don't make a right) Yeah, but three rights make a left! And now it's time for the show! (starts doing the tutti-frutti dance)"

"I LIKE PIE!!"
(At his High School Reunion) "I also invented air, which is why every time you breathe in I get a quarter." (Crowd gasps) "Pay up!"
"Look at Binky go, and go, and go!"
Cosmo:"I made him a loon, the national bird of Canada, and I made us dodos, the extinct flightless bird of Canada!
- Wanda:"Do something you idiot!" (Poofs mustache on Wanda)
"'The Accursed One' That's a nickname I haven't heard in a while."
(Wanda: "you sunk Atlantis?")"Well... Acually, I sunk it nine times..."
Here I come, Mr. Fairy Universe.
"What kinda of a sick, twisted future is this?!"
"I'm scared of the hunt!"
(after turning himself into a monkey) "I just wanted to be able to scratch my butt without being judged."
Timmy: It's just that in every movie I've seen with ancient treasures there's some kind of booby trap...

Cosmo: Well, I'm a boob, and Wanda trapped me into marriage. (Wanda grabs his throat)Does that mean anything?

I hated being a robot. No free will, being bossed around. It was like being married all over again! Only with more toast.

Wanda: cheer up timmy chrades is hard once you get the hang of it.

Cosmo: Ya we can toatally turn you into a chrades champion!now focus (turns into zebra with no stipes.) what am I?

Timmy: A white horse

cosmo: (mad) NO! I'M A STRIPLESS ZEBRA! WHATS THE MATTER WITH YOU! YOUR THE WORST CHARADES PLAYER EVER!!!

Wanda

"Thanks, Mr. Contagious! Now I have [the fairy flu]!"
"Oh, shut up and kiss me, will you?"
"Oh blah, blah, blah...YOUR needs!"
"You bet me for a nickel?!!!"
"What's strange, that I'm not strangling Cosmo?"
"Cosmo-about-to-make-Timmy-dead senses is tingling!"
"Two fairies had a thought in their head, had a bet to decide who'd I wed, But when during their bout, their big secret got out..." (Juandisimo) "...And now both of those morons are dead?"
"And here's Wanda with the news: Vicky's going to kill you when she finds out what you're up to!"
"The Double-T in the Morning show is brought to you by 'Vicky Stinks!' Remember: Vicky Stinks!"
"Oh, waah. Do you ever stop nagging?"
"I told you, You-Doo dolls are dangerous. [goes under You-Doo spell] But what do I know? Let's poof up a whole bunch of You-Doo dolls! And more pudding for Cosmo! I'm a nag! Let's do the Nag Dance! [singing] You nag it to the left, You nag it to the right, I love to nag my husband all day and night!"
"Zappy fight! Oh, that's right: You don't have one!" (Wanda to Blonda)
"Whoever you are, you're going down" (Cosmo) "Whoever I am, no I'm not!"
"Cosmo, you idiot!"
"Cosmo, stop spinning the newspaper!"
"...Nag Nag Nag..."

Mom & Dad

Both: "Bye, School! Have a nice day at Timmy!"

Mom:: "That's the seventeenth bath this night, and he(Timmy) still smells like...Pheew-alien barf!

Dad:: "I've got some steel wool in the garage!!"

Timmy:: As long as my parents don't have to use the bathroom in the next 10 minutes I should be okay.

Dad:: Hey Honey, wanna challenge me to a water drinking contest?

Mom:: Okay, let me just add these chocolate laxatives to my High-Fiber-O's. And for added fun, let's make it prune juice.

Dad:: PRUNE ME UP, BABY!

Mom: "Was that the Dinkleberg's car?

Dad: "I hope so, that's what I was aiming for!"

Mom: I punished Timmy by making him eat chocolate, which in retrospect, wasn't such a good punishment after all.

Dad: Unless it's that reindeer chocolate, eew!

younger dad: Hi my name's (truck passes by honking.) but everyone calls me dad.

Mom

If Chip doesn't get here soon, I'm going to punish our son for no reason!
We'd never forget your birthday, Tommy!
You know you're not allowed to touch the money, dear!
Oh, waah. Do you ever stop nagging?
I've gone ga-ga over Gah!
(Seeing Cosmo disguised as Timmy) Oh no! Timmy feels warm! And he's positivly green!
Mom: I better get the fish a thermometer too!
Yams! I should show them my yams!
Everything I touch dies! (Everyone backs away.)
I use the hideous and clearly dangerous things your father makes me because I love him, and it makes him happy!'
You need to be more secure in your masculinity, like me!

Dad

"Oh Vicky, I've come for my money back. Because Double-T says you stink."
"Why don't I get to go to the nice clink?!"
"We're making a movie called 'Stupid Questions Our Son Asked Us'!"
"Now we're making a sequel!! It's called, 'Stupid Questions Our Son Asked Other People'!"
"Must commit evil deeds...Must leave lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my dinner back, even though it's exactly what I ordered!"

"Why do I have to eat "mold merial" (cold cereal) while he's eating maffles (waffles)?"

"DINKLEBURG!!!"

"DINKLEBOT!!!"

"Gah? He's Norwegi-licious!"

"Gotta run, son! I have a big meeting on how to plan big meetings!"

(Examining Cosmo dressed as Timmy)"Warm?! Green?!? Those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli! Get the thermometer...and the salad shooter!"
"We're getting Dimmy award-winning gold here, and Trixie will totally talk to us!
"Electricity bills are for squares... LIKE PANTS!"
"Hey, my favorite shirt!... You (Mom) said it was stolen by Canadains!"
"Hey, I had a dream where I was you but with a better voice. And there was peanut butter, everywhere!
"Hey, nice door! If they made a pencil out of it, it would be a #1!"
"Pants are for squares!"
"Electric bills are for squares! Like pants!"

Vicky

"Gah? What kind of name is Gah?"
"Gah-ah....! Playing hard to get only makes me want you more!"
"But I'm miserable. Why won't anybody believe me? I'm-(A large sundae appears) Ooh, vanilla!"

"[The actor playing Crash Nebula is] a hunksicle!"

"Hey! That punk's tryin' to steal the car I'm stealing!"

"Pick up the trash and the octopus!"

"Okay, I believe you. Try not to get trampled. Your screaming will disturb my quality 'Ignore Timmy' time."

"I ooze brilliance!"

"I think it started when I was eight. My mom said my turtle ran away, but he didn't. TURTLES CAN'T RUN!"

"When I get up there, you are going DOWN!!!!!!!!!"
"Knock, Knock! Heeeere's Vicky!!"
"Check out the fun, destructive things you find lying around a stately mansion!"
"Today's episode is brought to you by the letter 'V'."
"I only wish that someday I can make the whole world this miserable!"
"Your temperature's normal, and so's your cholesterol. You just sit back and play mindless video games while I go do those nasty chores, you cute little imp, you!"
(Practicing cheerleading) "Fe-fi-fo-fum, who's the girl who sucks her thumb? I am! I am! Why did I say that?"
(Again Cheerleading) "1, 2, 3, 4, I shoplift from every store!"
(Cheerleading) "I lie a lot, I cheat in school, I'm scared of cows but love being cruel! I pick my nose when no one looks, and wipe it in your history books!"
"I don't mean to be mean all the time. It's just that I really am."
"TWERP!"

"If you need me, I'll be busy sleeping.

"Pink hat and buck teeth on a kid? Ewwwwwww! Pink hat and buck teeth on a Norwegian male supermodel? Yeahhh!"

"We have time for one more ride together: The Marriage-Go-Round!"

"Ugh...I don't ever want to see another piece of candy again." [Huge pile of candy falls on her] "IT BURNS!!!"

"You're not hiding anywhere! You have chores to do!"

"I'VE LOST MY NORWEGIAN SUPER MODEL!" Polar Bear: "And that's the password!"

"I had the greatest dream. I almost took over the world and destroyed everybody."

Mr. Crocker

(to Jimmy Neutron) Another reality avoidance costume, eh Turner? Very well. Since you're clearly Timmy Turner, here's your daily F!!"
Jimmy: "AHHHHH!! An F!! IT BURNS, Auggggh!!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!!" (He always violently contorts/spasms himself as he says it)

"HAVE A NICE DAY!!" (Contorts/spasm himself as he says it)
"Good news children, the F's are in! Mmmm, smell those hot, fresh F's!"
"What? This is impossible! AJ got every answer wrong! This is the kind of grade I would expect to give Turner... who got an A! This has to be the work of... FAIRY GODPARENTS!"
"High marks for the Death-to-Turner motif."
"What!? I can't be left in a room with children! I'm not a people person. I'm barely a person"!
"It's an F-a-palooza!
"F's! F's for everyone!"
"I'll get the F's."
"Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to not teach!"
"Goodnight Mother! I'm off to hunt fairies.....disguised as aliens!"
"Uh...I guess that means that the honeymoon's off?"
"Its a gag gift. Squeeze it, it farts!".
"If they park in the fairy spot, it will be all the proof the world will need".
"Excuse me while I hit my head while changing Timmy Turner's grades from F to A. OW! A! OW! A! OW! A!"
"F, F, F, F, F, A for AJ,F! And now I'm off to run a marathon! But first...FAIRY GODPARENTS! FAIRY GODPARENTS! FAIRY GODPARENTS!

"Well done Turner, you've taken F to a whole new level, so I'm giving you a SUPER F!"

Tastes cake icing

"Real buttercream icing? No-one makes that from scratch any more, there's only one explanation.

Timmy Turner felt bad for blanking Tootie on her birthday so he loaned her his FAIRY GODPARENTS who created this cake."

Chester McBadbat

"Boys like comic books; girls like dolls. Boys like video games; girls like makeup. We're DIFFERENT! THAT'S WHY WE HAVE DIFFERENT BATHROOMS! (sees Veronica in the boys' bathroom because there is no girls' bathroom) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(after Timmy sees Chester's mailbox broken on the ground and says: "Isn't that your mailbox?") "NOT AGAIN!!"

"OH NO!!!! There is a tornado, and I live in a trailer park! Oh, they told me this would happen, BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN!!!"
(disguised as a girl so he and A.J. can avoid couple-skating) You better call me after this.

Hey, hey, hey! Watch the hands!"

"Those tickets were impossible to get! I know, I've tried!"
AJ: "Look at all the cheese he ate in fourth grade!" Chester:"No wonder he was constipated that whole year!"
(in his torn Squirrelly Scouts uniform, facing off with a coyote) And now, you're about to get your "Beaten By A Chester" badge.
The meat is more sweet when flattened on the street.
NOOOO! Im allergic to girls!!!!

A.J.

It's Tuesday, on Tuesdays we multiply fractions for dessert. Nothing is sweeter than knowledge."
"No one man can own the Internet! I'd know, I've tried!"
"Thank you corrective dentistry!"
(with Trixie Tang's voice) "Tell me I'm pretty!"

Tootie

"You're holding my hand!"
"You're holding my hand, again!"
"But you have to come! You have to come because I love you!"
"You're here? In my house? My Timmy-tracker must be malfunctioning."
"You leave Timmy Turner--my one true love--alone, you big gray bully!"
"You're my hero... even if you are wearing a dress."
"Why won't you give my love a chance?!!?"
"Timmy! I gotta go potty!... Oops, no I don't!"
"Don't hurt him! He hired all these actors and rented out this whole stadium all because of me! I love him more than ever!"
Tootie: "Your parents should be back any minute." Timmy: "How did you know that?" Tootie: "I didn't tap your phones!"

Trixie Tang

"Oh my gosh! I just realized I'm totally in love with rock stars!"
"You're rejecting me? Oh my gosh! I'm so into you now! I'm going to leave 1,000 messages on your answering machine!"
"Tell me I'm pretty!"
"I'm ignoring you. I said I'm ignoring you! STOP IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU!!!!"

"He's so unfeeling! That makes him cool!"

(under You-doo) "I-think-I'll-sit-here-with-my-favorite-pink-hatted-buck-toothed-loser".

"Get away from me! You're a monster! A totally hot MONSTER!"

"Timmy, you killed my seemingly harmless plant! You are so not my boyfriend."

"I knew it! You were trying to chew your own arm off in a desperate attempt at freedom!"

(observing that she and Timmy are the only two people on Earth) But... that means there are less people around to adore me... I NEED SOMEONE TO ADORE ME!!!!!

(going crazy after Timmy goes to the bathroom) What were you doing in there? Don't lie to me. Who's in there? What's her name? TELL ME I'M PRETTY!!!!

LOVE HURTS! And it makes a fine mulch for your lawn or garden.

Missiles sold separately!?

I missed you, Timmy. Did you miss me? WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOO!!!???

"TELL ME I'M PRETTY!" (Timmy -->) "I just did.." "NOT IN THAT LAST SENTENCE!"

Chet Ubetcha

"I'm Chet Ubetcha".

"Bottom of the Ninth. Bases loaded. One out to go. I'm extremely handsome."

"And now I'm off to run a marathon!"

(when Crocker takes over the world) "This is Chet Ubowdown, reminding you...to bow down!"

(when Timmy wished for a life size action figure which tried to destroy the city) "It's Dimmsdale, I mean Doomsdale! On other news people are flipping over Flipsie! (Flipsie barks) "Man, I never get tired of that!"

Mark Chang

"NON-PUNY HUMANS, I'm outta here!"

"My untimely death has like untimely come!"

[appears in front of the White House] "I'm back! A hostile alien bent on taking over the world!" [Secret Service officers handcuff him] "I mean, a harmless Girl Scout! Who wants cookies?"

Timmy: Dude, if you're gonna be a human, you gotta eat school food.

Mark Chang: (eating out of a trash can) Wait... *gritty whispery voice* Government food...OH! Is there no end to your delicacies?!

The "R" day of F.L.A.R.G.: No, you don't eat it, I eat it, get sick, and blow huge intergalactic chunks at my host. (to Timmy) That's you.
AAAHH!! THE CUTENESS!!! IT BURNS!!!
AWWWW, I would make a RIGHTEOUS PIXIE!
Vicky: Spread this manure on the petunias over there.

Mark: (excited) MANURE! THAT'S LIKE, THE RAREST OF ALL DELICACIES ON MY PLANET! WHY ARE YOU WASTING SUCH A DELICIOUS TREAT ON SUCH HIDEOUS PETUNIAS?!?!?!?!

Jorgen Von Strangle

"Well, no plan is perfect"
"Tough toenails, Binky!"
"There's only one thing to do: blame Wanda, and hit you! (Binky)"
"I don't have too many friends, okay? You punch them once and it's 'Please don't punch me any more'"
"Being buff means nothing if I don't have my lady love!"
"You have a problem with that?"
"My mighty muscles spun the board too hard. I'll call you back when it stops. Until then, have a nice millennium!"
[Blows up Cosmo & Wanda]

"I know that you are upset, and also on fire but let me explain something..."

(In the Flarg episode after Mark Chang blows up Fairy world) Who did it?
"Hey, stop! (to Calamitous) You must reconsider! Or at least come closer so I could bite you!"
"SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES!"
"Life better with you? Ask the brace-less Chester, the boil-less Elmer, and the World Series Champion Chicago Cubs!"
"That's so funny! Even my muscles are laughing!"
"Someone is about to wish for the B word! (Timmy Turner, Cosmo and Wanda poof in front of him) Turner... Big suprise..."
"Aha! That is where you are wrong!"
"That is where you are wrong again, Timmy Turner!your wish will come true, but this is only it ... (Timmy interupts) ...the beginning, bla bla bla... have no idea what Iv'e done blah blah you'll be watching me blah blah.

Princess Mandie

"It's Man-DIE! And nobody leaves me at the altar! NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"You! Prepare to accept wedded bliss... OR EAT HOT PLASMA!!!
"Now, marry me...OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I know you're out there, Mark Chang! I'm waiting for you... VIOLENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm back!!!"

"Its time to play Hide And Go Die!"

"Mark, darling! Did you miss me?! Because this time I'm not going to miss you!!!!"

"It was an apple."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! IS THERE ANYTHING IN THIS BUILDING THAT ISN'T MADE OUT OF SUGARY, JELLY-FILLED, DEEP-FRIED DOUGH?!?!?!"

Others

[Timmy throws a water balloon at Francis, which misses its target and ends up hitting someone in France]

French Man: We surrender!

"I'm the Anti-Jorgen! Don't squish me, for I am puny!" ~Anti-Jorgen

(under Yoo-Doo) "I'm an ugly moron who loves butterflies and plays dress-up." ~Francis

"Get back here, new meat!" ~Francis

"Funny-wunny time is dunny-wunny!!" ~Happy Peppy Betty

"So long, suckers!" ~Pops

"WORLD DOMINATION!" ~ A cockroach with humanlike intelligence

"FASTER WORLD DOMINATION!" ~ A cockroach with humanlike intelligence riding one of the frogs that Timmy wished there to eat the cockroaches

"FAIRY WORLD DOMINATION!" ~ A cockroach with humanlike intelligence after Wanda poofs it and the other cockroaches to Fairy World.

"I AM TRIXIE!!!!" ~Veronica

"All right, I'm Britney-Britney! I was four-time Celebrity Star Search winner when I was still a fetus!" ~ Britney Britney

"The Handsome Fairy has failed to rescue his godchild-- (audience boos Juandissimo) ...BUT HE IS STILL VERY SEXY! (audience cheers)" ~Jorgen

"You MADMAN! ...Can you pass the pickle relish?" ~Jorgen

"I am too sexy to eat!" ~Juandissimo Magnifico

"Well.....they gotta to be under a pillow." ~Tooth Fairy

"Chip Skylark?!!!! That changes everything! His teeth are my greatest work. Who knows what l can be done with those teeth?" ~Tooth Fairy

"How am I funny to you? Like a clown with big shoes and a funny hat?" ~Big Daddy

"So two robots walk into an eating establishment, and destroy all humans...is this voice amplification device functional? I know you're out there. My thermal sensors detect your presence..."" ~Street-cleaning Robot Comedian

"Curses! Sorry you had to here that, Flipsie." ~Dark Laser

"Back off, Jarhead!" ~Blonda

"Oh, flarg!" ~Binky

"I'm off to destroy Canada. They've had it too good for too long!" ~Norm the Genie

"The more I'm with you, the more I'm beginning to miss being imprisoned in my lava-lamp!" ~Norm the Genie

"Dude, that thing on your neck... Is that your ear? (To Mr. Crocker)" ~Norm The Genie

"I'm ridin' a hot dog over you, all these pork byproducts have got me feelin' blue." ~Cosmo and Sheen singing (in Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 2)

"I'll be back... with weapons" ~Arnold Schwarzegerman (in Chad and Tad's movie.)

"I say Vicky! I've never seen anyone use a child to beat up a fat pink squirrel before!" ~Winston Dunsworth

"As they say in Missouri, I ain't going back to Missouri!" -Tom Sawyer

"I ain't never goin' back in there! It's Missouri in there! You ever been to Missouri?!" - Tom Sawyer

"Pay no attention to the Pixie controlling the Jorgen robot."-Sanderson the Pixie.

"Here you go son! It's your own paper bag!" - Chester's Dad

"There's only one thing to do ... WRITE AN ANGRY LETTER!" (holds up a 'Q) "Somebody mail this." ~ Mark Chang's Dad.

Unnamed/More Characters

"This looks like a job for...SUPER BRAIN!" -SuperBrain
"I shall mourn over (Mark Chang) for 5,000 Yugopotamian days... okay, I'm done. Unfreeeze one of his clones!"

Dialogue

Princess Mandie: Since you two are the most powerful, I'm taking you out first!

Cosmo: Oooh, neat! You're taking me out?? (Wanda passes him note) I mean, I-can't-I-am-married.

Wanda: Cosmo, do something!!!

Cosmo: I can't. I'm married.

Wanda: You don't think --

Cosmo: I never think!

Timmy: I can't even go to the bathroom by myself!

Cosmo: Hey, neither can I!

Wanda: Today is gonna drag on forever!

Cosmo: Is today over yet?

Timmy: Dad, should you be whinnying and snorting while you drive?

Dad: Nope. And I probably shouldn't have replaced the steering wheel with reins, either, but safety's for yellow-bellies!

Timmy: But I don't have to because..... we get out of school early today! (The bell rings)

Mr. Crocker: Oh, I guess you're right. HAVE A NICE DAY!

Dad: Timmy-O's? That loser cereal?! Eeew! Those are for pack mules! Son, I need to achieve! (tosses the fake cereal box into the fishbowl)

Cosmo: Hey! These are for pack mules!

Cosmo: This episode was brought to you by the Society for Healthy Colons!

Cosmo & Wanda: Yay, colons!

Juandissimo: Wanda... your voice is like the chorus of a thousand angels...

Cosmo: Yeah, well my FOOT is gonna feel like the chorus of a thousand... (Juandissimo turns him into a turtle) Revenge! REEVVEENGGE!!

Cosmo: Geography, geometry, geology. What's the big deal? They all start with 'J'!

Wanda: Here's another 'J' word for you: "Jidiot"!

Dad: Boo-hoo! I can't help my only son. I'm such a jidiot!

Billy Crystalball: Do you recognize this rage?

Jorgen: Cosmo! You bumbling idiot!

Cosmo: That could be anybody.

Billy Crystalball: Do you recognize this voice?

Wanda: Cosmo! Your mother is trying to separate us again!

Cosmo: Denise?

Vicky: (about Timmy's "cousin", Jimmy) How come I've never met you before?

Timmy: Because he lives in, uh, Euro...Litha...Bulga...Slavia.

"Jimmy": Eurolithabulgaslavia!

Vicky: A Canadian, huh?

Cosmo: I'm going to fulfil my dream of becoming a watercolor artist. (paints)

Wanda: You know we are in water. (Cosmo's painting dissolves)

Cosmo: My art! Nooooo!

Vicky: Hey little guy. You look like you had a rough day. How 'bout a nice peanut butter sandwich?

Timmy: Who are you, and what have you done with Vicky?!

Francis: I am the Bull-E! Tiny Turner make Bull-E angry!

Timmy: Bull-E? What's the "E" stand for?

Francis: It's the second letter in DEATH, and the third one in DIE!

Flappy Bob: And what's with the floating?

Head Pixie: We have that kind of money.

Sanderson: Walking is for poor people.

Timmy: Uh, guys? Fun time?

Cosmo: (to Wanda) Uh, fun? Let me handle this.

Wanda: Oh, for the love of Pete!!

Cosmo: Who's Pete? Is there someone I should know about?!?

Timmy: I'm a 10-year-old boy; cute toys bore me.

Cosmo: But we're cute. You aren't bored with us, are you?

Timmy: Well...

Timmy: That's horrible...and didn't rhyme!

Overlord Blee: He's on to us! GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Radio: If you don't want your summer to be lame and icky, pick up the phone and call me: "I'm Vicky!"

Dad: That reminds me: I don't want my summer to be lame and icky!

Mom: We should pick up the phone.

Dad and Mom: And call Vicky!

Aide: Got your speech?

President Bush: Yep!

Aide: Got your tie?

President: Yep!

Aide: Got your button that you can use to blow up the world if you suddenly become inexplicably evil?

President Bush: When don't I? How's the new look?

Aide: Very Retro, sir.

Timmy: Ladies and gentleman, Cosmo's brain has officially left the building!

Wanda: Like it ever entered!

Timmy: (now enormously fat) Could you give me a lift to my house?

Mark Chang: Are you mad?! I cannot lift you!

Timmy: I meant with your ship!

Mark Chang: Oh. M'kay.

Cosmo: Again, I'm not one to inject logic into a situation, whatever a situation is, but eventually, all this sugar-energy is gonna wear off.

Timmy: And then what?

Cosmo: I don't remember...but it had something to do with weight.

(28 days later...) Timmy: (now very fat. His bed breaks from under his weight.) Is it eat too many sweets and get real heavy?

Cosmo: (also very fat) No...that's not it.

Blonda: I'll save the show! But you have to promise to stop blaming Wanda for everything!

Jorgen: I don't know why we are talking in the third person, but okay, Jorgen will stop yelling at Wanda.

Blonda: And you promise to stop the X-treme wishing or you'll be kissing Jorgen at mach four!!!!!!!!!

Timmy: Yes! Timmy promises to stop his X-treme wishing!

[Timmy and Wanda are seated in a restaurant, between two doors - one leads to the restroom and other to the kitchen]

Waiter: Would you like some chocolate pudding?

Timmy: That depends. Which door did you come out of? (waiter starts sweating nervously)

Tom Sawyer: (after being squished by a giant mouse and now speaking in a high pitched voice) You haven't seen the last of me!

Timmy: (using Wanda's wand to put his words in text of book they are in) And Tom said, 'You're sending me back to Missouri?'

Tom: What?! I didn't say that! (sucked into portal) Ahhhhhhhhh!

Timmy: Oh no! Bender must have gotten medieval on Chip's mouth!"

Cosmo: That's wiggedy-wiggedy-whack!

Wanda: Whattidy-whattidy-what?!

Dr. Bender DDS: The goofy teeth seem familiar, but the tiara has me baffled!

Dr. Bender DDS: I sense a disturbance...IN MY WALLET!

Wanda: Timmy, your friends made your Dad cry!

Cosmo: Yeah, it usually takes a monkey or a bowl of pudding to do that!

Wanda: Timmy, wish for something simple so he can't trick you. A glass of water! A cupcake!

Cosmo: WORLD PEACE!

Dark Laser: What's so funny? (the workers stop laughing)

Worker #1: Um, you wouldn't find it funny, sir.

Dark Laser: What do you mean, I'm Dark Lazer, and I have a great sense of humor. (he looks at the computer; starts rubbing his eyes) Adayayayda! LEAPING LIGHTYEARS!

Video: I'm Fart Blazer. I'm Fart Blazer. Pull my finger. I'm Fart Blazer.

Dark Laser: Who posted these lies?! (he sees the name) Turner...