Directed by Peter Cattaneo and written by Simon Beaufoy.

Dialogue

Police Inspector: So your daddy dances in front of you, does he?

Nathan: When he's rehearsing.

Gaz: Y'know Dave, it's a thought...

Gerald: Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widges hanging out. Now that would be worth 10 quid!

Gaz: Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying...

Gerald: [teases by mimicking binoculars] Widges on parade! Bring your own microscope!

Dave: I don't see why you're making a chuff, Gerald.

Gerald: Because you're fat and he's thin, and you're both fucking ugly!

Dave: I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser"? What happens then, eh?

Horse: They wouldn't say that, would they?

Dave: Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.

Lomper: That's different. We're... blokes.

Dave: Yeah, and...

Gerald: I think she's got nice tits, actually.

Lomper: I never said nowt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.

Dave: No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither, which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality — this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.

Dave: I've been dieting. I do try. Seems like I spent most of me life on a fuckin' diet. The less I eat, the fatter I get.

Lomper: So stuff yourself and get thin!

Gerald: Fat, David, is a feminist issue.

Dave: Well, what's that supposed to mean when it's at home?

Gerald: I don't bloody know, do I? But it is.

[The team recruits Guy]

Gaz: You don't sing?

Guy: No.

Gaz: You don't dance?

Guy: No.

Gaz: Hope you don't mind me being nosy, but what do you do?

Guy: Well, there is this...[strips down pants and underwear]

Gaz: [coughs smoke, then long pause] Gentlemen, the lunchbox has landed.

Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] I know. You could stand in middle of road and have a mate run smack into you right fast.

Lomper: Haven't got any mates.

Gaz: Listen to you. We just saved your fucking life. So don't tell us we're not your mates, all right?

Lomper: Really?

Gaz: Yeah.

Lomper: Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Dave: Yeah, me an'all, I'd run into ya as soon as look at ya.

Lomper: Cheers.

Taglines

• Six men. With nothing to lose. Who dare to go....

• The year's most revealing comedy.

Cast

• Robert Carlyle - Gaz
• Mark Addy - Dave
• William Snape - Nathan
• Steve Huison - Lomper
• Tom Wilkinson - Gerald
• Paul Barber - Horse
• Hugo Speer - Guy
• Lesley Sharp - Jean
• Emily Woof - Mandy
• Deirdre Costello - Linda
• Paul Butterworth - Barry
• Dave Hill - Alan
• Bruce Jones - Reg