The Mighty Boosh
Topics
The Mighty Boosh
Quotations
The Mighty Boosh is a surreal cult comedy which started as a stage show and then as a radio programme. It began on television as a show about two slightly hapless zookeepers under the supervision of Bob Fossil. It then took place in a flat in Camden Town in series 2 and in a store, "Nabootique," in series 3.
Come with us now, on a journey through time and space, to the world of The Mighty Boosh!
Taglines
Taglines
Killeroo
- Howard: I'll take you out for a meal with Mr and Mrs. Pain. Order up some violent quiche.
Mutants
- Bob Fossil: [Addressing children] Why are you people so small? I can rest my drinks on your heads.
- Howard: Sometimes I wish I could just shed my skin and writhe about.
- Mrs. Gideon: That's disgusting.
- Howard: No, it's a metaphor.
- Mrs Gideon: Still disgusting.
Bollo
- Ape of Death: Now, prepare to die!
- Howard: Aren't I already dead?
- Ape of Death: Yeah, but it hurts more the second time.
- Mr Susan: Choose the wrong mirror and you will be trapped here forever with nothing but your own reflection for company! Hee, hee, hee!
- Vince: Yeah, okay. Sounds good.
Tundra
- Howard: Just imagine the headlines; "Howard Moon, colon, Explorer." Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
- Vince: "Colon explorer"? I think that's got the wrong ring to it.
- Dixon Bainbridge: I understand it took Howard Moon one month to grow that moustache. Check the insect cabinet, I think we're one caterpillar short!
Jungle
- Tommy: There are only two kinds of men who venture into the jungle at this time of night: a fool or an idiot.
- Vince: Who are you?
- Rudi: I go by many names.
- Vince: Well, what are they, then?
- Rudi: I'm getting round to that in my own good mystical time.
Electro
- The Spirit of Jazz: Chica-chic-ow... OW! Man, my hat's on fire! What's wrong with you? You blind? Why didn't you tell me?
- Howard: Sorry, I thought it was your look.
- The Spirit of Jazz: No, it ain't my look! This was a new hat, man!
Hitcher
- Howard: Who are you, dealing out stories in chunks? Johnny Segment?
- Bob Fossil: Technically, you're not a Peeping Tom if it's one of your relatives.
The Call of the Yeti
- Kodiac Jack: Book? No book will help you when there's a grizzly on the loose. [throws it out the window and knocks out a grizzly bear]
- Kodiac Jack: Listen, boy. Have you ever had your scrotum pulled off by a mountain goat and seen him sell it on eBay a day later?
- Howard: No.
- Kodiac Jack: Have you ever been rohypnolled by a swan and ended up in Cancun?
- Howard: No.
- Kodiac Jack: Have you ever been to a tea party with a herd of rhinos?
- Howard: No.
- Kodiac Jack: Well, I have. And it ain't perty!
The Priest and the Beast
- Rudi: Is it so wrong for a man to love a guitar?
- Spider: Yes, it is when he puts his balls inside it and strums himself to ecstasy!
- Spider: This is all like Woodstock all over again. The idea is you play and then you scram! But oh, no, you wouldn't listen, would you? You wanted to hang around, didn't you? And then we got roped into tidying up. Me, you and Carlos Santana, hoovering for six weeks!
- Rudi: Somebody had to clean up that mess.
- Spider: We should have split like The Who. They were off in a shot! I didn't see Roger Daltrey in no flippin' apron. [At the end of the episode Daltrey himself is seen hoovering the set, wearing a pink apron]
Nanageddon
- Vince: Goth Juice... the most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.
- Vince: Where could she be? How do we find an old lady?
- Howard: An old Comanche Indian saying; "The best place to hide a leaf is in the forest."
- Vince: You think she's in the forest?
The Fountain of Youth
- Howard: I don't accessorize. I'm Howard Moon. There's a simple truth to me.
- Vince: Howard? Do you think it's going to be all right?
- Howard: No. We're going to die in the most horrific way known to man.
- Vince: We had some good times though, didn't we?
- Howard: Yeah... Remember the time we had that soup?
- Vince: [Laughs] That was brilliant.
- Both: Soup, soup, a tasty soup, soup, a spicy carrot and coriander.
- Vince: Chili chowder!
- Both: Crouton, crouton, crunchy friends in a liquid broth. I am gazpacho, oh, I am a summer soup, oh! Miso, miso! Fighting in the dojo, miso, miso! Oriental prince in the land of soup!
- Vince: Ah, classic times.
- Howard: Crazy days.
The Legend of Old Gregg
- Fisherman: Some say he used to drum for the Kaiser Chiefs. Actually, not many people say that. In fact, it's just me who says that.
- [Talking about Old Gregg.]
- Lucian: Some say he's half man, half fish. Others say its more of a 70/30 split. Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.
- Colin: Some say he's a ghost; can't catch what don't exist... Hook goes right through him.
- Lucian: Some say he's acquired the taste of human meat, won't respond to conventional bait; only way to hook him is to use a child's toe.
- The Moon: Some say Old Gregg is like a big fish finger, but big like, umm... like a garage. As big as a garage. Imagine a fish finger as big as a garage! Oooh, it's a big one!
The Nightmare of Milky Joe
- Howard: Okay, we've got to pool our resources. Tweezers, matches, twine, geological hammer. What have you got?
- Vince: Kings of Leon CD.
- Howard: Great. Well, that's useless, isn't it?
- Vince: It's not useless, it's a blinding album. Better than their first one, and they came up with it really quickly.
- Howard: Thanks, NME. It's useless to us on a desert island though, isn't it?
- Vince: Well, it does double up as a mirror. [stares at his reflection in the CD]
- Howard: I've actually written a short piece whilst on the island called "Isolation." Perhaps I could play it now?
- Vince: Maybe later, eh?.
- Howard: Yeah, maybe later.
- Vince: Maybe not at all.
- Howard: ... Yeah, maybe later.
Eels
- Howard: The tweed utility patch: scuffproof, weatherproof, even bulletproof, sir.
- The Hitcher: Are you bulletproof, boy?
- Howard: ... Don't know.
- Eleanor: I'm a woman in the prime of her life who needs love-squeezins!
Journey to the Center of the Punk
- Howard: What are you angry about?
- Vince: Government.
- Howard: Government? Ooohh.
- Vince: And climate change.
- Howard: Climate change?
- Vince: It's getting hot, Howard. Haven't you noticed?
- Howard: Why do you care about that? Because it makes your hair a little more difficult to straighten?
- Vince: That, and it's a bit clammy.
- Vince: I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down!
The Power of the Crimp
- Vince: All he needs now is a tall northern jazzy freak with a moustache and no dress sense.
- Howard: Is this how you win people over?
- Vince: Ah, look, I can't express myself like you! I haven't got a pencil case story! He's tryin' to drive a wedge between us! We've got history! We're like ying and yang!
- Howard: Yeah, well, I'm not gonna take him up on his offer, you know. I don't need him. I've already got a shallow mate who dresses like a... futuristic prostitute.
- Vince: [smiles] Thanks, Howard.
- Vince, Howard, Naboo and Bollo:
- Tube Mouse, I love you so,
- I took you from the underground,
- And brought you home,
- Put you in my jacket pocket,
- And took you to the meeting,
- Put you in my jacket pocket,
- And took you to the meeting.
The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox
- Howard: I'm going to Jazzercise. Working out to hot be-bop. Circuit training to John Coltrane.
- Tony Harrison: What's he looking at?
- Dennis: Nobody knows. Kirk is journeying far into the astral realm.
- Tony Harrison: He's off his tits!
Party
- Tony Harrison: I have bought not one, not two, but three crates of poppers! We are having it large!
- Dennis: Where is Mrs. Harrison in all this?
- Tony Harrison: She's staying with her sister in Bournemouth. I just have to find a quiet spot, tell her I'm going to bed at half nine and carte blanche! I am greenlit the whole way!
- Tony Harrison: Feel my multi-hexagonal textured alien barbed penis!
The Chokes
- Bob Fossil: Hey, Moon, you look like Zorro on Gay Night. [pauses as Howard says nothing] Nice comeback?
- Montgomery Flange: Lesson 49: Object Animation. What do you see in front of you?
- Howard Moon: A pencil.
- Montgomery Flange: A pencil? No, no, no! Look, it's Niagara Falls, it's a seagull, it's cheese in the shape of a question mark! It's anything you bloody want it to be! You try!... Come on!
- Howard Moon: I don't know what to do. I can't make it into anything else. It's just a pencil, you stupid old git!
- Montgomery Flange: YES! You've found the truth! You're an actor now and I'm as hard as the cobra!
From the 2006 Tour
- Rudi: [to a heckler] Shut your mouth, or I shall fly at you like a bag of cocks.
- Vince: And you will receive him like a satchel of vaginas. Tag team putdowns.
- Vince: [as a Russian woman] Last time you gave me pie, I cut into it with my tiny pie-cutter, and millions of birds flew out, hitting me in the eyes and the temples! I was confused! 'Twas a trick pie!
- Vince: Howard Moon: Jazz Maverick, Novelist, Cyclist, Genre-Spanner, Rider of the Penny Farthing, Stamp Collector...
- Howard: [Introducing Vince] Vince Noir; Electro... Poof!
- The Hitcher: Two hundred years inside that box! For crimes against humanity! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I raped a dolphin. But technically it was a porpoise. But one blow-hole's the same as the next to me!
- [Rudi and The Hitcher are swordfighting.]
- Rudi: You'll never win, you know.
- The Hitcher: Oh, yeah? Why's that?
- Rudi: Because I taught you everything you know.
- The Hitcher: You might have taught me everything I know, but you didn't teach me everything you know.
- Rudi: ... What does that mean?
- The Hitcher: Ah, fuck it. [they continue to fight]
Taglines
- Come with us now, on a journey through time and space, to the world of The Mighty Boosh!
- The Boosh is loose and we're a little bit raw!
- The Boosh is loose and it's coming at you like a shark with knees!
- The Boosh is loose and it's coming at you like a wet flannel!
- The Boosh is loose and it's coming at you like a typhoon with the flu!
- Boosh! Boosh! Stronger than a moose! Don't lock your door or we'll come through your rooftop!
- The Boosh is loose; see it or throw your eyes in the bin!
Cast
- Noel Fielding - Vince Noir/Various
- Julian Barratt - Howard Moon /Various
- Michael Fielding - Naboo
- Dave Brown - Bollo/Various
- Rich Fulcher - Bob Fossil/Various
- Matt Berry - Dixon Bainbridge
- Victoria Wicks - Mrs Gideon
- Richard Ayoade - Saboo