The Return of Chef Quotations

"The Return of Chef" is an episode of South Park.

Quotes

Note: As Isaac Hayes quit the show right before this episode aired, the episode to kill off his character, Chef, was done with voice clips from other episodes, pieced together in an obviously artificial way. This is represented in the following lines with slashes (/).

Chef: Well, how 'bout I meet you boys after work and we/Make love!
Chef: C'mon children!/You're my/Sexual fantasy!
Chef: Let's all/Make sweet love!
Chef: I wanna/Make love/To you/Children!
Chef: I wanna make love to/Your asshole/Children!
Chef: I wanna/Stick/My balls/Inside your rectum/Kyle!
Chef: Kenny/How would you like to/Sodomize/My black ass?
Chef: I/Specializes in your asshole/Kyle!
Chef: I'd just like to/Make love!/Up your butt!
William P. Conoly (Leader of the Super Adventure Club): Is it any more retarded than the idea of God sending his son to die for our sins? Is it any more retarded than Buddha sitting beneath a tree for 20 years?
Kyle: Yeah, way, way more retarded.
Darth Chef: Hello there children. How would you like some Salisbury steak? And for dessert, how would you children like to suck on my chocolate, salty balls?
William P. Conoly: Oh, you mean like a chocolate candy?
Darth Chef: No, I mean my balls.
Chef: Alright/Goodbye/Children!
Stan: Oh, my God. They...killed Chef.
Kyle: You bastards. You bastards!!
Kyle: We're all here today because Chef has been such an important part of our lives. A lot of us don't agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days. Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the last week take away the memories of how much Chef made us smile. I'm gonna remember Chef as the jolly old guy who broke into song. I'm gonna remember chef as the guy who gave us advice to live by. So you see, we shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains.
Randy Marsh: Yeah.
Mr. Mackey: He's right.
Kyle: And in the end, I know that somewhere out there, there's the good part of Chef, that's still alive in us all.
Cartman: Hey, you guys, what do you call a Jewish woman's boobs? (pause) Jewbs.
William P. Conoly (Leader of the Super Adventure Club): And he lived for eternity. Until he was hit by a train in 1892.
William P. Conoly (Leader of the Super Adventure Club): Well, now that you know our club's secrets, it appears you leave us no choice. I'm afraid we're going to have to...ask you to leave.
William P. Conoly (Leader of the Super Adventure Club): If you choose not to leave, then I'm afraid we're just going to have to...call security and make you leave. It'll be super-embarassing and everyone here will see!