comedian
and actor
who played the lead role in the film The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
.
Clay has been in several movies and has released a number of stand-up albums. He is the only comedian in history to sell out Madison Square Garden
two nights in a row, a feat he accomplished in 1990.
Clay was born in the Brownsville neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York, the son of Doris and Fred Silverstein, who worked in real estate sales.
When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey, I care about me.”
What am I looking at? I want to eat you like a tossed fucking salad!
I like a bush. A nice big, hairy, stinky, smelly fucking bush. And I hate when they put cologne on it. They dummy it up with cologne like you don’t know where you are. I like that nice natural scent of salmon.
Go ahead, marry her. Don't marry her, man. How do you know where she's been? Huh! How do you know she's not the biggest fucking whore to ever walk this fucking town, man? I went with this one girl, she was such a fucking tramp, I had to double park my dick on her ass and wait an hour to get in. It's unfuckingbelievable, I'm telling ya.
Let me ask you a question...: the first time you fucked her, was she any good? Yeah? Now let me ask you another question: how do you think she got that way?
Lets say you're fuckin', lets say you're fuckin', I dunno, you're fuckin' dog style right. Lets say you're fuckin' dog style, and the chick gets pregnant. I mean, uhhhhh would the kid pop out backwards? I dunno. I saw a girl walkin' around the street with a big hump on her back and I said, "Eh, youz fuckin' dog style right?"
I go into these all-night 24 hour convenience stores, they got people in there. People? Things. These aren't even people, they don't even have a language to things that work in there. You go in for soda, cigarettes. You're like, "Yeah, how much? How much?" And they're like "Eh gooey buck and dee! Ah gooey buck--" And I'm like, you fuckin' geek! Where do they grow you? What farm were you picked out of?