Boers and Bernstein
Encyclopedia
Boers and Bernstein is an afternoon drive-time sports talk show on Chicago
's WSCR
hosted by former columnist Terry Boers and Dan Bernstein. The program airs weekday afternoons from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. On days when the Chicago White Sox
have a 7:10 start time, the program will often be extended half an hour leading into the White Sox pregame. The pairing debuted in 1999 and originally aired from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m., then aired from 10a-2p and 2p-6p until moving to its current 1p-6p time slot in 2009, making it the longest-running sports talk program in Chicago.
head coach Mike Ditka
, in which Boers criticized Ditka for being resigned to his imminent dismissal, and Ditka responded that Boers previously chided Ditka by saying that having a fiery demeanor was "the wrong thing to do, so who ya crappin?" In the spirit of the initial confrontation, listeners are asked to expose—by calling, emailing, or TEXTING (you have to scream that)—a member of or beyond the sports world who has "lied, misled, told a half-truth," or, best capturing the essence of the segment, "engaged in an act of verbal hypocrisy." Participants try to earn the hosts' tacit or sometimes overt approval through well constructed and presented entries, with the key catch phrase
concluding each entry. Callers who fail to approach the exercise correctly (callers must focus on something someone said, not something someone did) or take too much time to arrive at the conclusion are taken off the air and chided for their inability to complete the task, usually with the gunshot sound effect previously employed during High Noon. Regular "crappers" include Gary in Evanston, Ten-Foot Midget, Black Physicist, the Blind Chauffeur, Bichiro, Unemployed Lawyer, Government Fromage, Quit Playin, North Side Fro Dog, Mr. Mouth, and resident martial arts expert, Steve in Bolingbrook and K-Man Pilkers in DeKalb. First time callers are greeted with the prerecorded "Good luck with your first crap," a quote from the Dennis Franz
character, Andy Sipowicz
, from NYPD Blue
.*
B&B at one time gave gift certificates for the "Crapper of the Week," the best caller during the segment, and for the "Best First Time Crapper," to a new caller.
If Who Ya Crappin? is preempted, it often becomes the theme for that week's Friday Fung.
Chicago
Chicago is the largest city in the US state of Illinois. With nearly 2.7 million residents, it is the most populous city in the Midwestern United States and the third most populous in the US, after New York City and Los Angeles...
's WSCR
WSCR
WSCR is a sports radio station in the Chicago, Illinois radio market. The station is owned by CBS Radio and transmits on 670 kHz on the AM dial. Its transmitter is located just off Army Trail Road in Bloomingdale, which is a western suburb of Chicago. It is known as "The Score," and has been on...
hosted by former columnist Terry Boers and Dan Bernstein. The program airs weekday afternoons from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. On days when the Chicago White Sox
Chicago White Sox
The Chicago White Sox are a Major League Baseball team located in Chicago, Illinois.The White Sox play in the American League's Central Division. Since , the White Sox have played in U.S. Cellular Field, which was originally called New Comiskey Park and nicknamed The Cell by local fans...
have a 7:10 start time, the program will often be extended half an hour leading into the White Sox pregame. The pairing debuted in 1999 and originally aired from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m., then aired from 10a-2p and 2p-6p until moving to its current 1p-6p time slot in 2009, making it the longest-running sports talk program in Chicago.
Who Ya Crappin'?
The program is best known for its signature segment, "Who Ya Crappin'?" that usually airs on Thursdays at 5:00 p.m. unless preempted. The segment takes its name from an interview that co-host Terry Boers did with then-Chicago BearsChicago Bears
The Chicago Bears are a professional American football team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...
head coach Mike Ditka
Mike Ditka
Michael Keller Ditka, Jr. is a former American football NFL player, television commentator, and coach. Ditka coached the Chicago Bears for 11 years and New Orleans Saints for three years. Ditka and Tom Flores are the only two people to win Super Bowls as a player, an assistant coach, and a head...
, in which Boers criticized Ditka for being resigned to his imminent dismissal, and Ditka responded that Boers previously chided Ditka by saying that having a fiery demeanor was "the wrong thing to do, so who ya crappin?" In the spirit of the initial confrontation, listeners are asked to expose—by calling, emailing, or TEXTING (you have to scream that)—a member of or beyond the sports world who has "lied, misled, told a half-truth," or, best capturing the essence of the segment, "engaged in an act of verbal hypocrisy." Participants try to earn the hosts' tacit or sometimes overt approval through well constructed and presented entries, with the key catch phrase
Catch phrase
A catchphrase is a phrase or expression recognized by its repeated utterance. Such phrases often originate in popular culture and in the arts, and typically spread through a variety of mass media , as well as word of mouth...
concluding each entry. Callers who fail to approach the exercise correctly (callers must focus on something someone said, not something someone did) or take too much time to arrive at the conclusion are taken off the air and chided for their inability to complete the task, usually with the gunshot sound effect previously employed during High Noon. Regular "crappers" include Gary in Evanston, Ten-Foot Midget, Black Physicist, the Blind Chauffeur, Bichiro, Unemployed Lawyer, Government Fromage, Quit Playin, North Side Fro Dog, Mr. Mouth, and resident martial arts expert, Steve in Bolingbrook and K-Man Pilkers in DeKalb. First time callers are greeted with the prerecorded "Good luck with your first crap," a quote from the Dennis Franz
Dennis Franz
Dennis Franz is an American actor best known for his role as Andy Sipowicz, a hard-boiled police detective in the television series NYPD Blue. He previously appeared as Lt...
character, Andy Sipowicz
Andy Sipowicz
Andy Sipowicz is a fictional character and protagonist on the popular ABC television series NYPD Blue. Dennis Franz portrayed the character for its entire run....
, from NYPD Blue
NYPD Blue
NYPD Blue is an American television police drama set in New York City, exploring the internal and external struggles of the fictional 15th precinct of Manhattan...
.*
- The Second Half - A recap of the first half of the show, followed by brief editorial remarks from the hosts read over "Roundup," a Sam Spence musical number familiar to viewers of NFL Films. Each comment is punctuated by a whistle sound effect.
- Friday Fung- A Friday segment of varying themes as dictated by the hosts. The title of the segment is a play on Ozzie GuillénOzzie GuillénOswaldo José "Ozzie" Guillén Barrios is a Venezuelan-American former Major League Baseball player and current manager of the Miami Marlins. He managed the Chicago White Sox from 2004 to 2011 before asking for his release at the end of the 2011 season....
's VenezuelaVenezuelaVenezuela , officially called the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela , is a tropical country on the northern coast of South America. It borders Colombia to the west, Guyana to the east, and Brazil to the south...
n-accented pronunciation of the word "fun." - High Noon- A defunct, yet still popular (and oft-referred to), segment from their previous mid-day time slot, similar in concept to the later "The Second Half," but with a gunshot sound effect after each item. High Noon was revived for one segment on May 12, 2009, and again on March 2, 2011 when the show was on location at White Sox spring training.
- The Extra Point- The hosts offer opinions on a number of topics being covered in the mainstream media.
- Terry's Roar of the Day - Essentially a lengthened editorial-style version of the Extra Point segment, featuring Boers.
- Terry's Thought of the Day - Essentially a shortened version of the Roar of the Day.
B&B at one time gave gift certificates for the "Crapper of the Week," the best caller during the segment, and for the "Best First Time Crapper," to a new caller.
- Mike in Milwaukee - HUH?! Just kidding. Mike offers up his college and pro football winners each Friday, and then reviews his performance on Mondays, usually not in the most sober state.
Friday Fung
- Am I a Bad Guy: listeners call in with stories of moral ambiguity, and Dan and Terry judge whether or not the caller is a "bad guy".
- Ask Us Anything: listeners ask the hosts anything. The hosts usually answer, and occasionally a guest calls, such as Ken "The Hawk" HarrelsonKen HarrelsonKenneth Smith Harrelson , nicknamed "The Hawk" due to his distinctive profile, is a former All-Star first baseman and outfielder in Major League Baseball...
to clarify how the Chicago White SoxChicago White SoxThe Chicago White Sox are a Major League Baseball team located in Chicago, Illinois.The White Sox play in the American League's Central Division. Since , the White Sox have played in U.S. Cellular Field, which was originally called New Comiskey Park and nicknamed The Cell by local fans...
"Pick to Click" works, after a listener asked. - Brushes with Irrelevant Authority
- Cheaters Anonymous: listeners tell stories of cheating
- Crushing Defeats: listeners' tales of losses in life, sports, and other
- Daredevil or Dumbass?: listeners recount dangerous maneuvers which the hosts and producers judge as being exceedingly brave or exceedingly stupid.
- Dumb Arguments
- Dumb Injuries
- Greatest Sports Moments MISSED
- Imaginary Radio: After various callers started their calls by asserting that the hosts said things they didn't, this segment was created, where callers are encouraged to posit various things they imagined was said on the radio. An example was several callers saying that Boers and Bernstein said the Tour de FranceTour de FranceThe Tour de France is an annual bicycle race held in France and nearby countries. First staged in 1903, the race covers more than and lasts three weeks. As the best known and most prestigious of cycling's three "Grand Tours", the Tour de France attracts riders and teams from around the world. The...
was a sport, contrary to B&B's position, after which another said that B&B never said that bicycling was a sport, but that Sheryl CrowSheryl CrowSheryl Suzanne Crow is an American singer-songwriter, record producer, musician, and actress. Her music incorporates elements of rock, folk, hip hop, country and pop...
had given Lance ArmstrongLance ArmstrongLance Edward Armstrong is an American former professional road racing cyclist who won the Tour de France a record seven consecutive times, after having survived testicular cancer. He is also the founder and chairman of the Lance Armstrong Foundation for cancer research and support...
testicular cancerTesticular cancerTesticular cancer is cancer that develops in the testicles, a part of the male reproductive system.In the United States, between 7,500 and 8,000 diagnoses of testicular cancer are made each year. In the UK, approximately 2,000 men are diagnosed each year. Over his lifetime, a man's risk of...
. - Live Ringers: Listeners retell stories of playing involved in pick-up or amateur level sporting events in which current or professional players are brought in as ringers, thus making the game extremely lopsided. Former NBA player Dave CorzineDave CorzineDavid John Corzine is a retired American professional basketball player in the National Basketball Association.-Biography:...
is an oft-referenced ringer in this segment. - Mundane Sports Achievements: listeners recount vaguely athletic achievements in venues which can only barely be construed as sports, such as successfully hitting targets with litter from a car window.
- Relative Greatness: participants recount tales of their family members' celebrity encounters. Dave CorzineDave CorzineDavid John Corzine is a retired American professional basketball player in the National Basketball Association.-Biography:...
is a commonly encountered celebrity. - Tales of Laziness: participants describe situations of extreme laziness, sometimes with unexpected vaguely athletic tie-ins along the lines of throwing a tennisTennisTennis is a sport usually played between two players or between two teams of two players each . Each player uses a racket that is strung to strike a hollow rubber ball covered with felt over a net into the opponent's court. Tennis is an Olympic sport and is played at all levels of society at all...
ball at a televisionTelevisionTelevision is a telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images that can be monochrome or colored, with accompanying sound...
to successfully change the channel when the remote is out of reach. - Sports Apologies: participants stage mock apologetic press conferences for sports figures.
- Ask Brian UrlacherBrian UrlacherBrian Keith Urlacher is an American football player for the Chicago Bears of the National Football League . He attended the University of New Mexico, where he was one of the school's most decorated athletes. In addition to setting multiple university records, Urlacher earned consideration for the...
Anything: listeners' questions are answered with a pre-recorded short quip by the Chicago BearsChicago BearsThe Chicago Bears are a professional American football team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...
' middle linebacker from a press event where Urlacher responded to questions with monosyllabic answers or said "go to foxsports.com." - Ask Rusty: listeners solicit advice from noted caller "Rusty from StickneyStickney, IllinoisStickney is a village in Cook County, Illinois, United States. The population was 6,148 at the 2000 census. It was well known in the 1920s and early 1930s as the home for several bordellos linked to mobster Al Capone's empire....
(now JacksonvilleJacksonville, FloridaJacksonville is the largest city in the U.S. state of Florida in terms of both population and land area, and the largest city by area in the contiguous United States. It is the county seat of Duval County, with which the city government consolidated in 1968...
)," who dispenses uneducated stereotypical blue-collar wisdom. Rusty's association with the show dates to when he called back, saying that he was being kidded at work for being misquoted, until Boers and Bernstein played back the tape. - Sports Collectible Items You Just Can't Get Rid Of
- Stupid Putts: Tales of golfing misadventures. Usually done around the Masters or the U.S. OpenU.S. Open (golf)The United States Open Championship, commonly known as the U.S. Open, is the annual open golf tournament of the United States. It is the second of the four major championships in golf, and is on the official schedule of both the PGA Tour and the European Tour...
golf tournaments. - Wild at Heart: listeners recount outrageous attempts at picking up women, usually during Valentine's Day week
- Working Rules: listeners' stories of noncompliance with a rule
If Who Ya Crappin? is preempted, it often becomes the theme for that week's Friday Fung.
Frequent guests and contributors
- Gerry DiNardoGerry DiNardoGerard DiNardo is a former American football player and coach. He played college football as a guard for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish where he was selected as an All-American in 1974...
- Steve LavinSteve LavinSteve Lavin is an American basketball coach and former player. He is currently the head men's basketball coach at St. John's University in Queens, New York. Lavin previously served as the head coach for UCLA....
- Jimmy PiersallJimmy PiersallJames Anthony Piersall is a former center fielder in Major League Baseball. Between 1950 and 1967, he played for the Boston Red Sox , Cleveland Indians , Washington Senators , New York Mets , and Los Angeles/California Angels .While he had a fairly good professional career as a center...
- Steve Stone
- Hub Arkush
- Brian BillickBrian BillickBrian Harold Billick is a National Football League game analyst for Fox, and is also an analyst for the network's Bowl Championship Series coverage. He was previously an NFL coach, most recently with the Baltimore Ravens from January 19, 1999 to December 31, 2007...
- Matt BowenMatt BowenMatthew Jeremy "Matt" Bowen is an Australian rugby league player. He has spent his whole professional career with the North Queensland Cowboys in the National Rugby League , playing in over 200 matches and holding the club's record for the player with the most NRL appearances. He appeared in the...
Notable events
- A caller inadvertently created a new character for the show, when he phoned in and chastised Boers, mistakenly calling him Larry Horse. Larry Horse, though fictitious, became a "member" of the show, and though he never spoke, was often mentioned, sometimes in skits (reference in a Matt HasselbeckMatt HasselbeckMatthew Michael Hasselbeck is a National Football League quarterback for the Tennessee Titans. He was drafted by the Green Bay Packers in the sixth round of the 1998 NFL Draft, and traded to Seattle in 2001. After becoming the starter in 2003, Hasselbeck led Seattle to six playoff appearances and...
interview). - An elderly lady once called Dan Bernstein and Steve Silverman (filling in for a vacationing Boers) asking exasperatedly for the score of Detroit and the Rams. This was presumably for gambling purposes. It led to the famous quote "you have the papers damnit".
- Dan Bernstein flipped out at a caller when he called to suggest the White Sox sign Dimitri Young rather than try to trade for Adam DunnAdam DunnAdam Troy Dunn , nicknamed "Big Donkey", is an American Major League Baseball first baseman, outfielder, and designated hitter for the Chicago White Sox. He bats left-handed and throws right-handed....
. The scream that Dan made has been replayed on many occasions when a caller frustrates the show's hosts. - A listener to the show edited the Bearforce 1Bearforce 1Bearforce 1 was a gay dance music band from the Netherlands, known mainly for a YouTube hit video, "Bearforce 1." Founded in 2006 and promoting an image as bears , they released three singles accompanied by YouTube videos, they invited comparisons to the Village People and scored hits in the...
Wikipedia page to add Dan Bernstein as a "founding member" of the openly gay musical group (Bearforce 1 is also the nickname for the team jet of the Chicago BearsChicago BearsThe Chicago Bears are a professional American football team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...
). Upon learning this, the name of that group, "Bear Force One", has now become a recurring joke on the show. reference