Carol Beer
Encyclopedia
Carol Beer is a character in the TV and radio series Little Britain
, in which she worked firstly as a bank clerk then as a travel agent and now works as a Receptionist at St John's Hospital in Pennsylvania
. She is played by David Walliams
.
to Calais
and then tickets aboard a Russian tanker transporting nuclear waste to the Baltic Sea. In another sketch, a woman wanted to buy tickets to Cephalonia after seeing Captain Corelli's Mandolin
, but Carol, unable to find any such tickets, suggested other movie-related destinations, including a trip to where they filmed Midnight Express
, a room in The Towering Inferno
, a cruise aboard the ship on which they filmed The Poseidon Adventure, and a canoeing trip to the river in Deliverance
. An example of Carol's bad attitude to her customers came when she was "recommending" traveller's insurance to a couple, in which previous purchaser lost a flip-flop in the Caribbean
and that Carol's travel company flew a replacement flip-flop to him first class - all he had to pay for was the flight... and the flip-flop.
Carol also displays an extreme lack of interest in her customers' personal lives. For example, an old couple claim they will soon celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, to which Carol replies with a mere shrug. As well, a gentlemen who is excited to finally see his daughter after over four years prompts Carol to shrug and reply with a bored tone of "Oh..."
In the final sketch of the series, Carol is approached by an elderly gentleman with a slightly more difficult request - a £700 six month round-the-world cruise, travelling first class. To her astonishment, she finds that "computer says yes" to this request. The gentleman then coughs in her face, in a manner similar to how she coughed at her customers.
In Little Britain Abroad, Carol is a tour representative for British tourists in Spain
. One couple in her tour group often found themselves bearing the brunt of Carol's bad attitude, starting from when she had the tour bus leave without them when it stopped for them, after the wife felt sick. Later, they wished to book a day cruise, but after being made to wait for a few seconds until precisely 9.00am (the time Carol started work), she informed them there was only one seat left and asked whether one would like to swim alongside the ship. In this same sketch, Carol also spoke to a Spanish tour representative who looked exactly like her and said "Computer says no" in Spanish ("La computadora dice que no"). The couple later complained about Carol, saying she had been rude and unhelpful. After Carol burst into tears the couple agreed to withdraw the complaint, only to be called "dirty shitters" by Carol as she walked away.
In Little Britain USA
Carol is a receptionist for a hospital. Here, her more malicious side is displayed, when she rudely makes people slowly enter their details before telling them that they cannot be admitted because they have the wrong doctor (even though there are 2 with the same name in the hospital) or are down for a completely different procedure. She also tells a pregnant woman she can't be admitted because the baby wasn't due until next week. Carol gives no allowances for age either - while in previous series, she had entered details in regardless of what was said, she responds with annoyance when a five year old girl tells her that her age is "nearly six," as well as intentionally swearing when asking her mother to fill out a customer service form (by saying "would you say that I've been - a) very helpful, b) extremely helpful, or c) fucking helpful!"). In the last episode she told an elderly man with a very slow walk that he was already dead and shouted MOVE! at him when he took a long time walking to the door. The gentleman then gave Carol the middle finger
, Carol looked shocked
programme reveals she trained with the Royal Ballet School
as a ballet dancer for many years, and had lead roles in performances of Giselle
, Swan Lake
and The Nutcracker
at the Royal Opera House
. Though she became their prima ballerina in 1995, she eventually left to form her own dance group, Carol Beer's Adventures in Movement, whose productions explored themes of identity, sexuality and crisps.
.
Parodied in an episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy where she works at an employment agency.
Little Britain
Little Britain is a British character-based comedy sketch show which was first broadcast on BBC radio and then turned into a television show. It was written by comic duo David Walliams and Matt Lucas...
, in which she worked firstly as a bank clerk then as a travel agent and now works as a Receptionist at St John's Hospital in Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania
The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is a U.S. state that is located in the Northeastern and Mid-Atlantic regions of the United States. The state borders Delaware and Maryland to the south, West Virginia to the southwest, Ohio to the west, New York and Ontario, Canada, to the north, and New Jersey to...
. She is played by David Walliams
David Walliams
David Edward Walliams is an English comedian, writer and actor, known for his partnership with Matt Lucas on the TV sketch show Little Britain and its predecessor Rock Profile...
.
Personality
Carol is a permanently bored and extremely unhelpful woman who works at various jobs requiring the use of a computer, such as a bank clerk, travel agent and hospital receptionist. Upon being approached by a customer with a very reasonable request, she will type this in to her computer and, upon discovering the request cannot be met, she will respond with a bored "computer says no." She is unwilling to use any human initiative or common sense to help her customers, and will then cough at them to make them leave. As a travel agent, she would then follow her denial of their request with unsuitable and sometimes surreal alternatives. For instance, when an elderly couple wished to book a round-the-world cruise, Carol offered them a "cruise" from DoverDover
Dover is a town and major ferry port in the home county of Kent, in South East England. It faces France across the narrowest part of the English Channel, and lies south-east of Canterbury; east of Kent's administrative capital Maidstone; and north-east along the coastline from Dungeness and Hastings...
to Calais
Calais
Calais is a town in Northern France in the department of Pas-de-Calais, of which it is a sub-prefecture. Although Calais is by far the largest city in Pas-de-Calais, the department's capital is its third-largest city of Arras....
and then tickets aboard a Russian tanker transporting nuclear waste to the Baltic Sea. In another sketch, a woman wanted to buy tickets to Cephalonia after seeing Captain Corelli's Mandolin
Captain Corelli's Mandolin
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, released simultaneously as Corelli's Mandolin. in the United States, is a 1994 novel written by Louis de Bernières which takes place on the island of Cephallonia during the Italian and German occupation of World War II. The main characters are Antonio Corelli, an...
, but Carol, unable to find any such tickets, suggested other movie-related destinations, including a trip to where they filmed Midnight Express
Midnight Express (film)
Released on October 6, 1978, the soundtrack to Midnight Express was composed by Italian synth-pioneer Giorgio Moroder. The score won the Academy Award for Best Original Score of 1978.Side A:#Chase – Giorgio Moroder...
, a room in The Towering Inferno
The Towering Inferno
The Towering Inferno is a 1974 American action disaster film produced by Irwin Allen featuring an all-star cast led by Steve McQueen and Paul Newman.A co-production between Twentieth Century-Fox and Warner Bros...
, a cruise aboard the ship on which they filmed The Poseidon Adventure, and a canoeing trip to the river in Deliverance
Deliverance
Deliverance is a 1972 American thriller film produced and directed by John Boorman. Principal cast members include Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds, Ronny Cox and Ned Beatty in his film debut. The film is based on a 1970 novel of the same name by American author James Dickey, who has a small role in the...
. An example of Carol's bad attitude to her customers came when she was "recommending" traveller's insurance to a couple, in which previous purchaser lost a flip-flop in the Caribbean
Caribbean
The Caribbean is a crescent-shaped group of islands more than 2,000 miles long separating the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean Sea, to the west and south, from the Atlantic Ocean, to the east and north...
and that Carol's travel company flew a replacement flip-flop to him first class - all he had to pay for was the flight... and the flip-flop.
Carol also displays an extreme lack of interest in her customers' personal lives. For example, an old couple claim they will soon celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, to which Carol replies with a mere shrug. As well, a gentlemen who is excited to finally see his daughter after over four years prompts Carol to shrug and reply with a bored tone of "Oh..."
In the final sketch of the series, Carol is approached by an elderly gentleman with a slightly more difficult request - a £700 six month round-the-world cruise, travelling first class. To her astonishment, she finds that "computer says yes" to this request. The gentleman then coughs in her face, in a manner similar to how she coughed at her customers.
In Little Britain Abroad, Carol is a tour representative for British tourists in Spain
Spain
Spain , officially the Kingdom of Spain languages]] under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages. In each of these, Spain's official name is as follows:;;;;;;), is a country and member state of the European Union located in southwestern Europe on the Iberian Peninsula...
. One couple in her tour group often found themselves bearing the brunt of Carol's bad attitude, starting from when she had the tour bus leave without them when it stopped for them, after the wife felt sick. Later, they wished to book a day cruise, but after being made to wait for a few seconds until precisely 9.00am (the time Carol started work), she informed them there was only one seat left and asked whether one would like to swim alongside the ship. In this same sketch, Carol also spoke to a Spanish tour representative who looked exactly like her and said "Computer says no" in Spanish ("La computadora dice que no"). The couple later complained about Carol, saying she had been rude and unhelpful. After Carol burst into tears the couple agreed to withdraw the complaint, only to be called "dirty shitters" by Carol as she walked away.
In Little Britain USA
Little Britain USA
Little Britain USA, an American television series, originated as a spin-off of the British BBC's Little Britain show.As in the British series, Matt Lucas and David Walliams play the majority of the characters: originals such as Lou and Andy, Daffyd Thomas,Sebastian Love, Marjorie Dawes and Vicky...
Carol is a receptionist for a hospital. Here, her more malicious side is displayed, when she rudely makes people slowly enter their details before telling them that they cannot be admitted because they have the wrong doctor (even though there are 2 with the same name in the hospital) or are down for a completely different procedure. She also tells a pregnant woman she can't be admitted because the baby wasn't due until next week. Carol gives no allowances for age either - while in previous series, she had entered details in regardless of what was said, she responds with annoyance when a five year old girl tells her that her age is "nearly six," as well as intentionally swearing when asking her mother to fill out a customer service form (by saying "would you say that I've been - a) very helpful, b) extremely helpful, or c) fucking helpful!"). In the last episode she told an elderly man with a very slow walk that he was already dead and shouted MOVE! at him when he took a long time walking to the door. The gentleman then gave Carol the middle finger
Finger (gesture)
In Western culture, the finger , also known as the middle finger, is an obscene hand gesture, often meaning the phrases "fuck off" , "fuck you" or "up yours"...
, Carol looked shocked
Personal history
Carol was born in 1969 in Crawley. The events of her life prior to her work at the bank are mostly unknown, though the Little Britain LiveLittle Britain Live
Little Britain Live is a stage show based on the TV sketch series Little Britain, performed by its stars, Matt Lucas and David Walliams, and directed by Jeremy Sams. Supporting characters are played by Paul Putner and Samantha Power . As in the TV show, Tom Baker is the narrator, although his lines...
programme reveals she trained with the Royal Ballet School
Royal Ballet School
The Royal Ballet School is one of the most famous classical ballet schools in the world and is the associate school of the Royal Ballet, a leading international ballet company based at the Royal Opera House in London...
as a ballet dancer for many years, and had lead roles in performances of Giselle
Giselle
Giselle is a ballet in two acts with a libretto by Jules-Henri Vernoy de Saint-Georges and Théophile Gautier, music by Adolphe Adam, and choreography by Jean Coralli and Jules Perrot. The librettist took his inspiration from a poem by Heinrich Heine...
, Swan Lake
Swan Lake
Swan Lake ballet, op. 20, by Pyotr Tchaikovsky, composed 1875–1876. The scenario, initially in four acts, was fashioned from Russian folk tales and tells the story of Odette, a princess turned into a swan by an evil sorcerer's curse. The choreographer of the original production was Julius Reisinger...
and The Nutcracker
The Nutcracker
The Nutcracker is a two-act ballet, originally choreographed by Marius Petipa and Lev Ivanov with a score by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. The libretto is adapted from E.T.A. Hoffmann's story "The Nutcracker and the Mouse King". It was given its première at the Mariinsky Theatre in St...
at the Royal Opera House
Royal Opera House
The Royal Opera House is an opera house and major performing arts venue in Covent Garden, central London. The large building is often referred to as simply "Covent Garden", after a previous use of the site of the opera house's original construction in 1732. It is the home of The Royal Opera, The...
. Though she became their prima ballerina in 1995, she eventually left to form her own dance group, Carol Beer's Adventures in Movement, whose productions explored themes of identity, sexuality and crisps.
Trivia
Among viewers of Little Britain, Carol's catchphrase "Computer says no" became widely repeated between colleagues in workplaces across the United Kingdom, particularly those where such equipment is used to answer enquiries. The phrase was also said on an episode of NeighboursNeighbours
Neighbours is an Australian television soap opera first broadcast on the Seven Network on 18 March 1985. It was created by TV executive Reg Watson, who proposed the idea of making a show that focused on realistic stories and portrayed adults and teenagers who talk openly and solve their problems...
.
Parodied in an episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy where she works at an employment agency.