The Cheese Shop is a well-known sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python’s Flying Circus is a BBC TV sketch comedy series. The shows were composed of surreality, risqué or innuendo-laden humour, sight gags and observational sketches without punchlines...

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It appears in episode 33, "Salad Days". The script for the sketch is included in the book The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus : All the Words, Volume 2.

Origins

The idea for the sketch came after a day of shooting in Folkestone Harbour, where John Cleese

John Cleese

John Marwood Cleese is an English actor, comedian, writer, and film producer. He achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and as a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report...

 became seasick

Motion sickness

Motion sickness or kinetosis, also known as travel sickness, is a condition in which a disagreement exists between visually perceived movement and the vestibular system's sense of movement...

 and threw up repeatedly while trying to deliver a line. During the drive back, Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman

Graham Arthur Chapman was a British comedian, physician, writer, actor, and one of the six members of the Monty Python comedy troupe.-Early life and education:...

 said that Cleese should eat something and asked him whether he fancied anything; Cleese replied that he fancied a piece of cheese. Upon seeing a chemist's shop, Cleese pondered whether the shop would sell cheese, to which Chapman responded that if they did it would be medicinal cheese and that Cleese would need a prescription to buy some. They decided to write a skit based on that idea. However, on starting to write it, they concluded that asking for cheese in a chemist's shop was too unrealistic. Cleese thought that they should instead write a sketch about someone attempting to buy cheese in a cheese shop that had no cheese whatsoever.

Chapman then wrote the sketch with Cleese, who did not initially find it humorous. When Chapman insisted that it was funny, they presented it at a reading for the other Python members. Though most of the other Pythons were also unimpressed, Michael Palin

Michael Palin

Michael Edward Palin, CBE FRGS is an English comedian, actor, writer and television presenter best known for being one of the members of the comedy group Monty Python and for his travel documentaries....

 loved it and laughed hysterically, eventually falling to the floor. This amused the others and they agreed to use the sketch.

Summary

Cleese plays an erudite customer (Mousebender in the script) attempting to purchase some cheese from 'Ye National Cheese Emporium, purveyor of fine cheese to the gentry (and the poverty-stricken too)'. The proprietor, Mr. Henry Wensleydale (Palin), appears to have nothing in stock, not even Cheddar

Cheddar cheese

Cheddar cheese is a relatively hard, yellow to off-white, and sometimes sharp-tasting cheese, produced in several countries around the world. It has its origins in the English village of Cheddar in Somerset....

, "the single most popular cheese in the world". A slow crescendo of bouzouki

Bouzouki

The bouzouki , is a musical instrument with Greek origin in the lute family. A mainstay of modern Greek music, the front of the body is flat and is usually heavily inlaid with mother-of-pearl. The instrument is played with a plectrum and has a sharp metallic sound, reminiscent of a mandolin but...

 music plays in the background (for which Cleese initially expresses appreciation, being "... one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichore

Terpsichore

In Greek mythology, Terpsichore "delight of dancing" was one of the nine Muses, ruling over dance and the dramatic chorus. She lends her name to the word "terpsichorean" which means "of or relating to dance". She is usually depicted sitting down, holding a lyre, accompanying the dancers' choirs...

an Muse"), but as the sketch progresses it mirrors Cleese's growing frustration until he loudly demands the music cease. As Cleese lists increasingly obscure, unsavoury, and, in one instance fictional, cheeses to no avail, the proprietor offers weak excuses such as "Ohh! The cat's eaten it." Cleese remarks that it's not much of a cheese shop, but Palin insists it is the best in the district due to its cleanliness, to which Cleese replies "Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by cheese." Eventually, Cleese asks if Palin has any cheese at all, to which Palin replies "yes". Cleese then tells him that he will ask the question again, and if Palin says "no", he will shoot him through the head. Palin answers "no" the second time, and Cleese immediately shoots him, then muses, "What a senseless waste of human life!" He then puts on a Stetson

Stetson

Stetsons are the brand of hat manufactured by the John B. Stetson Company of St. Joseph, Missouri.Stetson eventually became the world’s largest hat maker, producing over 3.3 million hats a year in a factory spread over . Today Stetson remains a family-owned concern...

, and the sketch segues into Hugh Walpole

Hugh Walpole

Sir Hugh Seymour Walpole, CBE was an English novelist. A prolific writer, he published thirty-six novels, five volumes of short stories, two plays and three volumes of memoirs. His skill at scene-setting, his vivid plots, his high profile as a lecturer and his driving ambition brought him a large...

's Rogue Cheddar and a link to the Sam Peckinpah's "Salad Days" sketch.

Cheeses

Forty-three cheeses are mentioned in the original skit. In the audio version on The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief

The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief

Free Record Given Away with the Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief, later shortened to simply The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief, is the fourth album by the comedy group Monty Python, released in 1973.-Cover and Packaging:...

(MT&H) album and other live and recorded versions, Cleese also mentions Greek feta

Feta

Feta is a brined curd cheese traditionally made in Greece. Feta is an aged crumbly cheese, commonly produced in blocks, and has a slightly grainy texture. It is used as a table cheese, as well as in salads Feta is a brined curd cheese traditionally made in Greece. Feta is an aged crumbly cheese,...

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Table of Legends

Color coding of table entries:

• Original Cheese is mentioned in the Original sketch
• Other Cheese is not mentioned in the Original sketch
• One sentence Cheeses are mentioned in one sentence, with only one reply

Table of Cheeses

The table that follows lists the cheeses mentioned, in order of appearance, the reason given as to why they are unavailable to be purchased, as well as the source (Original sketch, other version(s)) in which that cheese was mentioned.

Cheese	Shop owner's reply	Source
Red Leicester	“...we're fresh out...”	Original
Tilsit Tilsit cheese Tilsit cheese or Tilsiter cheese is a light yellow semi-hard smear-ripened cheese, created in the mid-19th century by Prussian-Swiss settlers, the Westphal family, from the Emmental valley. The original buildings from the cheese plant still exist in Sovetsk, Russia, formerly Tilsit, on the Neman...	“Never at the end of the week, sir. Always get it fresh first thing on Monday."	Original
Caerphilly Caerphilly cheese Caerphilly is a hard, white cheese that originates in the area around the town of Caerphilly in Wales, although it is now also made in England, particularly in the South West and on the English border with Wales...	"Ah well, it's been on order for two weeks, sir. I was expecting it this morning."	Original
Bel Paese Bel Paese cheese Bel Paese is a semi-soft Italian cheese. It was invented in 1906 by Egidio Galbani who wanted to produce a mild and delicate cheese to sell mainly in Italy. The name Bel Paese comes from the title of a book written by Antonio Stoppani...	“Sorry.”	Original
Red Windsor Red Windsor cheese Red Windsor is a pale cream, English cheddar cheese, made using pasteurized cow's milk marbled with a wine, often a Bordeaux wine or a blend of port wine and brandy....	“Normally, sir, yes, but today the van broke down.”	Original
Stilton Stilton (cheese) Stilton is a type of English cheese, known for its characteristic strong smell and taste. It is produced in two varieties: the well-known blue and the lesser-known white. Both have been granted the status of a protected designation of origin by the European Commission, together one of only...	“Sorry.”	Original
Gruyère Gruyère (cheese) Gruyère is a hard yellow cheese, named after the town of Gruyères in Switzerland, and originated in the cantons of Fribourg, Vaud, Neuchâtel, Jura, and Berne...	“No.”	Original
Emmental	“No.”	Original
Norwegian Jarlsberg Jarlsberg cheese Jarlsberg is a mild cow's-milk cheese with large irregular holes or what are commonly referred to as "eyes", originating in Jarlsberg, Norway.-Description:...	“No.”	Original
Liptauer Liptauer Liptauer is a spicy cheese spread made with sheep milk cheese, goat's milk cheese, quark cheese or cottage cheese. It is a part of Slovak cuisine , Hungarian cuisine , Austrian cuisine and Italian cuisine...	“No.”	Original
Lancashire Lancashire cheese Lancashire is an English cow's-milk cheese from the county of Lancashire. There are three distinct varieties of Lancashire cheese. Young Creamy Lancashire and mature Tasty Lancashire are produced by a traditional method, whereas Crumbly Lancashire is a more recent creation suitable for mass...	“No.”	Original
White Stilton Stilton (cheese) Stilton is a type of English cheese, known for its characteristic strong smell and taste. It is produced in two varieties: the well-known blue and the lesser-known white. Both have been granted the status of a protected designation of origin by the European Commission, together one of only...	“No.”	Original
Danish Blue Danish Blue cheese Danish Blue is a strong, blue-veined cheese. This semi-soft creamery cheese is typically drum or block shaped and has a white to yellowish, slightly moist, edible rind...	“No.”	Original
Double Gloucester Double Gloucester cheese Gloucester is a traditional unpasteurised, semi-hard cheese which has been made in Gloucestershire, England, since the 16th century, at one time made only with the milk of the once nearly-extinct Gloucester cattle....	“No.”	Original
Cheshire Cheshire cheese Cheshire cheese is a dense and crumbly cheese produced in the English county of Cheshire, and four neighbouring counties, two in Wales and two in England .-History:...	“No.”	Original
Dorset Blue Vinney Dorset Blue Vinney cheese Dorset Blue Vinney is a traditional blue cheese made near Sturminster Newton in Dorset, England, from skimmed cows' milk. It is a hard, crumbly cheese. "Vinney" is a local Dorset term related to the obsolete word "vinew", which means to become mouldy...	“No.”	Original
Brie Brie (cheese) Brie is a soft cow's cheese named after Brie, the French region from which it originated . It is pale in color with a slight grayish tinge under a rind of white mold; very soft and savory with a hint of ammonia...	“No.”	Original
Roquefort Roquefort (cheese) Roquefort , sometimes spelled Rochefort in English, is a sheep milk blue cheese from the south of France, and together with Bleu d'Auvergne, Stilton and Gorgonzola is one of the world's best-known blue cheeses...	“No.”	Original
Pont l'Evêque Pont-l'Évêque (cheese) Pont-l'Évêque is a French cheese, originally manufactured in the area around the commune of Pont-l'Évêque, between Deauville and Lisieux in the Calvados département of Basse-Normandie...	“No.”	Original
Port Salut Port-Salut cheese S.A.F.R Port Salut is a semi-soft pasteurised cow's milk cheese from Mayenne, France, with a distinctive orange crust and a mild flavour. The cheese is produced in disks approximately 23 cm in diameter, weighing approximately 2 kg .Though Port Salut has a mild flavour, it sometimes has...	“No.”	Original
Savoyard Beaufort (cheese) Beaufort is a hard, rather sharp cheese made from cow's milk and is similar to gruyère. It is produced in the area around Beaufort located high in the French Alps in the Savoie region of France...	“No.”	Original
Saint-Paulin	“No.”	Original
Carré de l'Est Carré de l'Est Carré de l'Est is a French cheese originating from Lorraine. Its place of origin and square shape give it its name .Carré de l'Est is produced from cow's milk and is aged five weeks. It has a smokey bacon flavour....	“No.”	Original
Boursin Boursin (cheese) Boursin is a brand of Gournay cheese. It is a soft creamy cheese available in a variety of flavours, with a flavor and texture somewhat similar to cream cheese...	“No.”	Original
Bresse-Bleu Bleu de Bresse Bleu de Bresse is a blue cheese that was first made in the Bresse area of France following World War II. Made from whole milk, it has a firm, edible coating which is characteristically white in color and has an aroma of mushrooms. Its creamy interior, similar in texture to Brie, contains patches...	“No.”	Original
Perle de Champagne	“No.”	Original
Camembert Camembert (cheese) Camembert is a soft, creamy, surface-ripened cow's milk cheese. It was first made in the late 18th century in Normandy in northern France.-Production:...	“Ah! We do have some Camembert, sir.... It's a bit runny, sir.... Well, as a matter of fact it's very runny, sir.... I think it's runnier than you like it, sir... Yes, sir." (bends below counter and reappears) "Oh... the cat's eaten it."	Original
Gouda Gouda (cheese) Gouda is an orange cheese made from cow's milk. The cheese is named after the city of Gouda in the Netherlands, but its name is not protected. However, the European Commission has confirmed that "Gouda Holland" is to be protected...	“No.”	Original
Edam	“No.”	Original
Caithness Caithness Caithness is a registration county, lieutenancy area and historic local government area of Scotland. The name was used also for the earldom of Caithness and the Caithness constituency of the Parliament of the United Kingdom . Boundaries are not identical in all contexts, but the Caithness area is...	“No.”	Original
Smoked Smoked Cheese Smoked cheese is any cheese that has been specially treated by smoke-curing. It typically has a yellowish-brown outer "skin," which is a result of this curing process. The tradition of flavoring cheese by smoke originated in Denmark making the only type of cheese that is solely a Danish...  Austrian Lüneberg cheese Lüneberg is a cow's-milk cheese made in mountain valleys in Vorarlberg in western Austria. Cheesemaking was introduced into this region from Switzerland; copper kettles and Swiss-type presses are used to make Lüneberg cheese. Milk is coloured with saffron and warmed to around 90°F; enough rennet is...	“No.”	Original
Sage Derby Sage Derby cheese right|thumb|200px|Sage Derby cheese with wax coatingSage Derby is a mild, mottled green, semi-hard cheese with a sage flavour. The colour is from sage and sometimes other colouring added to the curds, producing a marbling effect and the subtle herb flavour...	“No.”	Original
Wensleydale	“Yes. ... Oh, I'm sorry sir, I thought you were referring to me, Mr Wensleydale.”	Original
Greek Feta Feta Feta is a brined curd cheese traditionally made in Greece. Feta is an aged crumbly cheese, commonly produced in blocks, and has a slightly grainy texture. It is used as a table cheese, as well as in salads Feta is a brined curd cheese traditionally made in Greece. Feta is an aged crumbly cheese,...	“Ah, not as such.”	MT&H The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief Free Record Given Away with the Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief, later shortened to simply The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief, is the fourth album by the comedy group Monty Python, released in 1973.-Cover and Packaging:...
Gorgonzola Gorgonzola (cheese) Gorgonzola is a veined Italian blue cheese, made from unskimmed cow's and/or goat's milk. It can be buttery or firm, crumbly and quite salty, with a "bite" from its blue veining.- History :...	“No.”	Original
Parmesan	“No.”	Original
Mozzarella Mozzarella Mozzarella is an Italian Traditional Speciality Guaranteed food product. The term is used for several kinds of Italian cheeses that are made using spinning and then cutting :...	“No.”	Original
Pipo Crem'	“No.”	Original
Fynbo Fynbo Fynbo is a semi-hard Danish cheese which smells like fish. Is named after the island of Fyn. It has a flavor of buckwheat and is processed with a combination of mesophilic and thermophilic bacterial cultures...	“No.”	Original
Czechoslovakian sheep's milk cheese Abertam cheese Abertam is a traditional Czech farmhouse hard cheese made from sheep milk. It has the shape of an irregular ball with thin yellow to orange natural rind. It is used as a table cheese or for melting.Abertam is made in Karlovy Vary, the famous spa town...	“No.”	Original
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese	“Not today sir, no.”	Original
Cheddar Cheddar cheese Cheddar cheese is a relatively hard, yellow to off-white, and sometimes sharp-tasting cheese, produced in several countries around the world. It has its origins in the English village of Cheddar in Somerset....	“Well, I'm afraid we don't get much call for it around these parts.”	Original
Ilchester Ilchester Cheese Company The Ilchester Cheese Company is a cheese company based in Ilchester, Somerset. The Ilchester brands are part of Norseland, a subsidiary of Norwegian dairy company Tine BA. Ilchester do not actually manufacture any cheese from scratch, but specialise in blending a variety of British cheeses with...	“I'll have a look sir.” “No.”	Original
Limburger Limburger cheese Limburger is a cheese that originated during the 19th century in the historical Duchy of Limburg, which is now divided among modern-day Belgium, Germany, and Netherlands. The cheese is especially known for its pungent odor commonly compared to body odor....	“No.”	Original
Any cheese at all	Customer: “Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. Now, do you have any cheese at all?” Shop owner: “No.” (shoots cheese shop owner)	Original

"Venezuelan Beaver Cheese" is fictitious but, despite this, recipes for it have since been published, and one online cheese store lists it as an item. It has also been mentioned in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (PC game), Sierra

Sierra Entertainment

Sierra Entertainment Inc. was an American video-game developer and publisher founded in 1979 as On-Line Systems by Ken and Roberta Williams...

's computer adventure game Leisure Suit Larry 7

Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail!

Leisure Suit Larry: Love for Sail! is a video game, part of the Leisure Suit Larry series. It was the last LSL game written by series creator Al Lowe, and the last to feature original protagonist Larry Laffer as the main character....

, and in the webcomic Triangle and Robert

Triangle and Robert

Triangle and Robert is a webcomic by Patrick Shaughnessy that ran from August 1999 to September 2007. It is about the adventures of two polygons, an equilateral triangle named 'Triangle', and a rhombus named 'Robert'....

.

Pastiches and parodies

• The sketch was reworked for The Brand New Monty Python Bok
  The Brand New Monty Python Bok
  The Brand New Monty Python Bok was the second book to be published by the British comedy troupe Monty Python. It was edited by Eric Idle, and contained more print-style comic pieces than their first effort, Monty Python's Big Red Book.The white dust jacket was printed with some realistic looking...
  
  , becoming a two-player word game in which one player must keep naming different cheeses while the other player must keep coming up with different excuses; otherwise, "the Customer wins and may punch the Shopkeeper in the teeth".
• In an episode of The Young Ones, Alexei Sayle
  Alexei Sayle
  Alexei David Sayle is a British stand-up comedian, actor and author. He was a central part of the alternative comedy circuit in the early 1980s. He was voted the 18th greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-ups in 2007...
  
   rushes into a shop (while performing a silly walk
  The Ministry of Silly Walks
  "The Ministry of Silly Walks" is a sketch from the Monty Python comedy troupe's television show Monty Python's Flying Circus, episode 14, which is entitled "Face the Press". The episode first aired in 1970. A shortened version of the sketch was performed for Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl...
  
  ), and asks if it is a cheese shop. Rik Mayall
  Rik Mayall
  Richard Michael "Rik" Mayall is an English comedian, writer, and actor. He is known for his comedy partnership with Ade Edmondson, his over-the-top, energetic portrayal of characters, and as a pioneer of alternative comedy in the early 1980s...
  
  , the Palinesque proprietor, replies "No, sir." The punchline is "Well, that's that sketch knackered then, innit?"
• Goodness Gracious Me
  Goodness Gracious Me (TV & radio)
  Goodness Gracious Me is a BBC English language sketch comedy show originally on BBC Radio 4 and later televised on BBC Two based on four British Indian actors: Sanjeev Bhaskar, Kulvinder Ghir, Meera Syal and Nina Wadia...
  
  parodies the sketch with the "Asian Bride Shop" sketch, substituting descriptions of types of brides. At the end, another customer enters, complaining that his bride is dead – a reference to the Dead Parrot sketch.
• A pastiche
  Pastiche
  A pastiche is a literary or other artistic genre or technique that is a "hodge-podge" or imitation. The word is also a linguistic term used to describe an early stage in the development of a pidgin language.-Hodge-podge:...
  
   circulated in 2004 to parody the SCO v. IBM
  SCO v. IBM
  SCO v. IBM is a civil lawsuit in the United States District Court of Utah. The SCO Group asserted that there are legal uncertainties regarding the use of the Linux operating system due to alleged violations of IBM's Unix licenses in the development of Linux code at IBM.-Summary:On March 6, 2003,...
  
  lawsuit. The judge, taking Cleese's role, inquires of the Palinesque attorney for The SCO Group as to the evidence he will be presenting for his suit, only to discover after a similar line of questioning that SCO has no evidence at all. The script was an attack on the quality of the SCO lawsuit, implying that it was exceedingly frivolous.
• The "Weird Al" Yankovic
  "Weird Al" Yankovic
  Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic is an American singer-songwriter, music producer, accordionist, actor, comedian, writer, satirist, and parodist. Yankovic is known for his humorous songs that make light of popular culture and that often parody specific songs by contemporary musical acts...
  
   song "Albuquerque
  Albuquerque (song)
  "Albuquerque" is the last song of "Weird Al" Yankovic's Running with Scissors album. At 11 minutes and 22 seconds, it is the longest song Yankovic has ever released on any of his official studio albums....
  
  " parodies the sketch by portraying a similar situation in a doughnut shop. The scene ends when the shopkeeper reveals that all he has is a "box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" which the main character purchases and opens, only to be attacked by the creatures inside.
• The cartoon Histeria!
  Histeria!
  Histeria! is a 1998 American animated series created by Tom Ruegger and produced by Warner Bros. Animation. Unlike other animated series produced by Warner Bros. in the 1990s, Histeria! stood out as the most explicit edutainment program in order to meet FCC requirements for...
  
  depicts the Boston Tea Party
  Boston Tea Party
  The Boston Tea Party was a direct action by colonists in Boston, a town in the British colony of Massachusetts, against the British government and the monopolistic East India Company that controlled all the tea imported into the colonies...
  
  , in which a fake tea shop is set up to distract a British guard. Each time the guard asks for a type of tea, there is a splash heard off screen, and the American says they're out, implying that each particular tea had just been thrown into the harbour.
• In the webcomic
  Webcomic
  Webcomics, online comics, or Internet comics are comics published on a website. While many are published exclusively on the web, others are also published in magazines, newspapers or often in self-published books....
  
   Order of the Stick skit It's Not a Gaming Session Until Someone Quotes Monty Python, Roy and a weapons merchant re-enact the scene with polearms of various regional design replacing cheese. One of the weapons mentioned is a Glaive-Glaive-Glaive-Guisarme-Glaive, prompting the shopkeeper to remark, "I think you're drifting into another sketch, sir," a reference to Monty Python's Spam sketch. As a secondary allusion, a cat brings in a dead parrot (and then a live snake) at the bottom right of the panels.
• Joe Gregorio made a parody, “Problems with HTTP Authentication Interop”, about the state of current HTTP authentication.
• A wheel of Le Brouère cheese
  Le Brouère
  Le Brouère is a French cheese, originally from Lorraine. It is made by the dairy of the Bulgnéville hermitage in Vosges départment. A typical round is about in diameter and weighs . It is shaped in wooden molds with patterns created by an artisan sculptor. Maturation time is 4 to 7 months...
  
   was flown aboard the first SpaceX
  SpaceX
  Space Exploration Technologies Corporation, or more popularly and informally known as SpaceX, is an American space transport company that operates out of Hawthorne, California...
  
   Dragon
  Dragon (spacecraft)
  The Dragon is a reusable spacecraft developed by SpaceX, a private space transportation company based in Hawthorne, California. During its unmanned maiden flight in December 2010, it became the first commercially-built and -operated spacecraft to ever be successfully recovered from orbit.The Dragon...
  
  reusable space capsule flown on 8 Dec 2010 in reference to this sketch. The presence of the space cheese was made known the day after the successful flight.

External links

• A site dedicated to photos and tastings of the mentioned cheeses.