Colemanballs
Encyclopedia
Colemanballs is a term coined by Private Eye magazine to describe verbal gaffes
perpetrated by (usually British
) sports commentators
. The word Colemanballs probably borrows from Colemans Meatballs, once familiar in the UK and sold by the (now renamed) company ColemanNatural . Here though, Coleman refers to the surname of the now-retired BBC
broadcaster David Coleman
and the suffix -balls, as in "to balls up", and has since spawned derivative terms in unrelated fields such as "Warballs" (spurious references to the September 11, 2001 attacks
) and "Dianaballs" (sentimental references to Diana, Princess of Wales
). Any other subject can be covered, as long as it is appropriately suffixed by -balls. The all-encompassing term "mediaballs" has since been used by Private Eye as their coverage of gaffes has expanded.
Coleman's association with these verbal slips is so strong that he is often given erroneous credit for the earliest example specifically referenced as a Colemanball; in fact the broadcaster responsible was fellow BBC commentator Ron Pickering
. At the 1976 Summer Olympics
in Montreal
Pickering commentated on a race involving Cuba
n double-gold medal
list Alberto Juantorena
, whose muscular build and nine-foot stride contributed to his nickname El Caballo (the horse). Pickering said "and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
Another regular contributor to the section until his retirement was motor racing commentator Murray Walker
. His excitable delivery led to so many mistakes that they began to be labelled "Murrayisms". Examples include "We've had cars going off left, right and centre", "do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna
's Lotus
sounding rough?", and "with half of the race gone, there is half of the race still to go." However, only Walker himself could utter a Murrayism, while Colemanballs remained the more generic term attributable to any commentator.
Irish commentator George Hamilton's penchant for the phrase "Danger here" has even spawned a website in honour of his gaffes on the microphone, particularly while commenting on international soccer matches involving the Republic of Ireland, including this one in an Ireland V Spain qualifier match. "He’s pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!”
In rugby union
, Murray Mexted
has made many notable contributions to the field of memorable commentators' gaffes.
Private Eye's Colemanballs column has now expanded to include occasional quotes from sportsmen themselves (e.g. Frank Bruno
's "That's cricket, Harry, you get these sort of things in boxing"), politicians (John Major
's "When your back's against the wall it's time to turn round and fight"), and malapropisms from other public figures.
In terms of classification of the individual examples, these fall into a number of distinct groups including: truisms such as "Stronsay is an island surrounded by sea" and Coleman's own "He's 31 this year - last year he was 30"; unintentional juxtapositions where the viewer/listener knows what is meant such as "Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people", or "I am not a man of faith, but my wife is"; and complete nonsense such as "Here they come, every colour of the rainbow: black, white, brown". Others include addition of pointless words, intended to add effect, as in: "He came in from the outfield there like an absolute rabbit". One category with many examples is the use of the word "literal" to mean "figurative", as in "And he missed the goal by literally a million miles". In most cases it is possible to see the speaker's underlying intent, even if the delivery has left something to be desired. Yet another group is that of unintended puns, such as "There were 150 drug-related deaths in Glasgow last year, an all-time high", ("high" being slang for the euphoric state induced by many drugs).
Perhaps the most famous Colemanball is that of Brian Johnston
announcing that "The bowler's Holding
, the batsman's Willey
" on a BBC Radio
Test Match Special
, although this may be apocryphal.
Error
The word error entails different meanings and usages relative to how it is conceptually applied. The concrete meaning of the Latin word "error" is "wandering" or "straying". Unlike an illusion, an error or a mistake can sometimes be dispelled through knowledge...
perpetrated by (usually British
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
) sports commentators
Sportscaster
In sports broadcasting, a commentator gives a running commentary of a game or event in real time, usually during a live broadcast. The comments are normally a voiceover, with the sounds of the action and spectators also heard in the background. In the case of television commentary, the commentator...
. The word Colemanballs probably borrows from Colemans Meatballs, once familiar in the UK and sold by the (now renamed) company ColemanNatural . Here though, Coleman refers to the surname of the now-retired BBC
BBC
The British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...
broadcaster David Coleman
David Coleman
David Coleman, OBE is an English former sports commentator and TV presenter who worked for the BBC for almost fifty years. In 2000, he was awarded the Olympic Order, the highest honour of the Olympic movement....
and the suffix -balls, as in "to balls up", and has since spawned derivative terms in unrelated fields such as "Warballs" (spurious references to the September 11, 2001 attacks
September 11, 2001 attacks
The September 11 attacks The September 11 attacks The September 11 attacks (also referred to as September 11, September 11th or 9/119/11 is pronounced "nine eleven". The slash is not part of the pronunciation...
) and "Dianaballs" (sentimental references to Diana, Princess of Wales
Diana, Princess of Wales
Diana, Princess of Wales was the first wife of Charles, Prince of Wales, whom she married on 29 July 1981, and an international charity and fundraising figure, as well as a preeminent celebrity of the late 20th century...
). Any other subject can be covered, as long as it is appropriately suffixed by -balls. The all-encompassing term "mediaballs" has since been used by Private Eye as their coverage of gaffes has expanded.
Background
The term "balls" was first associated with Coleman in 1957 when he was at BBC Midlands, Sutton Coldfield, presenting a Saturday night 15-minute roundup of the day's football in the Midlands. A technical hitch occurred and there was a black-out, but Coleman could be heard calling out to the technician in the studio, "Trust you to make a balls of that."Coleman's association with these verbal slips is so strong that he is often given erroneous credit for the earliest example specifically referenced as a Colemanball; in fact the broadcaster responsible was fellow BBC commentator Ron Pickering
Ron Pickering
Ronald James Pickering , was an athletics coach and BBC sports commentator. Born in Barking, Essex, he coached several Olympic athletes, including Lynn Davies, a Welsh Olympic Games gold medallist long jumper. He was also the first host of the BBC1 children's sports programme We Are the...
. At the 1976 Summer Olympics
1976 Summer Olympics
The 1976 Summer Olympics, officially known as the Games of the XXI Olympiad, was an international multi-sport event celebrated in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, in 1976. Montreal was awarded the rights to the 1976 Games on May 12, 1970, at the 69th IOC Session in Amsterdam, over the bids of Moscow and...
in Montreal
Montreal
Montreal is a city in Canada. It is the largest city in the province of Quebec, the second-largest city in Canada and the seventh largest in North America...
Pickering commentated on a race involving Cuba
Cuba
The Republic of Cuba is an island nation in the Caribbean. The nation of Cuba consists of the main island of Cuba, the Isla de la Juventud, and several archipelagos. Havana is the largest city in Cuba and the country's capital. Santiago de Cuba is the second largest city...
n double-gold medal
Gold medal
A gold medal is typically the medal awarded for highest achievement in a non-military field. Its name derives from the use of at least a fraction of gold in form of plating or alloying in its manufacture...
list Alberto Juantorena
Alberto Juantorena
Alberto Juantorena Danger is a Cuban former track athlete. At the 1976 Summer Olympics, he became the first and so far only athlete to win both the 400 and 800 m Olympic titles....
, whose muscular build and nine-foot stride contributed to his nickname El Caballo (the horse). Pickering said "and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
Another regular contributor to the section until his retirement was motor racing commentator Murray Walker
Murray Walker
Graeme Murray Walker, OBE is a former Formula One motorsport commentator...
. His excitable delivery led to so many mistakes that they began to be labelled "Murrayisms". Examples include "We've had cars going off left, right and centre", "do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna
Ayrton Senna
Ayrton Senna da Silva was a Brazilian racing driver. A three-time Formula One world champion, he is widely regarded as one of the greatest F1 drivers of all time...
's Lotus
Team Lotus
Team Lotus was the motorsport sister company of English sports car manufacturer Lotus Cars. The team ran cars in many motorsport series including Formula One, Formula Two, Formula Ford, Formula Junior, IndyCar and sports car racing...
sounding rough?", and "with half of the race gone, there is half of the race still to go." However, only Walker himself could utter a Murrayism, while Colemanballs remained the more generic term attributable to any commentator.
Irish commentator George Hamilton's penchant for the phrase "Danger here" has even spawned a website in honour of his gaffes on the microphone, particularly while commenting on international soccer matches involving the Republic of Ireland, including this one in an Ireland V Spain qualifier match. "He’s pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!”
In rugby union
Rugby union
Rugby union, often simply referred to as rugby, is a full contact team sport which originated in England in the early 19th century. One of the two codes of rugby football, it is based on running with the ball in hand...
, Murray Mexted
Murray Mexted
Murray Graham Mexted is a New Zealand rugby union player who played 34 tests for the All Blacks from 1979 to 1983. He also played 38 non-test game including 7 as captain. During his time with the All Blacks, he wore the Number eight jersey and was considered an excellent ball winner and an...
has made many notable contributions to the field of memorable commentators' gaffes.
Private Eye's Colemanballs column has now expanded to include occasional quotes from sportsmen themselves (e.g. Frank Bruno
Frank Bruno
Franklin Roy Bruno MBE is an English former boxer whose career highlight was winning the WBC Heavyweight championship in 1995. Altogether, he won 40 of his 45 contests...
's "That's cricket, Harry, you get these sort of things in boxing"), politicians (John Major
John Major
Sir John Major, is a British Conservative politician, who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party from 1990–1997...
's "When your back's against the wall it's time to turn round and fight"), and malapropisms from other public figures.
In terms of classification of the individual examples, these fall into a number of distinct groups including: truisms such as "Stronsay is an island surrounded by sea" and Coleman's own "He's 31 this year - last year he was 30"; unintentional juxtapositions where the viewer/listener knows what is meant such as "Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people", or "I am not a man of faith, but my wife is"; and complete nonsense such as "Here they come, every colour of the rainbow: black, white, brown". Others include addition of pointless words, intended to add effect, as in: "He came in from the outfield there like an absolute rabbit". One category with many examples is the use of the word "literal" to mean "figurative", as in "And he missed the goal by literally a million miles". In most cases it is possible to see the speaker's underlying intent, even if the delivery has left something to be desired. Yet another group is that of unintended puns, such as "There were 150 drug-related deaths in Glasgow last year, an all-time high", ("high" being slang for the euphoric state induced by many drugs).
Perhaps the most famous Colemanball is that of Brian Johnston
Brian Johnston
Brian Alexander Johnston CBE, MC was a cricket commentator and presenter for the BBC from 1946 until his death.-Early life and education:...
announcing that "The bowler's Holding
Michael Holding
Michael Anthony Holding is a former West Indian cricketer. One of the fastest bowlers ever to play Test cricket, he was nicknamed 'Whispering Death' by umpires due to his quiet approach to the bowling crease...
, the batsman's Willey
Peter Willey
Peter Willey is a former English cricketer, who played as a right-handed batsman and right-arm offbreak bowler. In and out of the England team, he interrupted his international career for three years by taking part in the first of the England players' South African rebel tours in 1982...
" on a BBC Radio
BBC Radio
BBC Radio is a service of the British Broadcasting Corporation which has operated in the United Kingdom under the terms of a Royal Charter since 1927. For a history of BBC radio prior to 1927 see British Broadcasting Company...
Test Match Special
Test Match Special
Test Match Special is a British radio programme covering professional cricket, broadcast on BBC Radio 4 , Five Live Sports Extra and the internet to the United Kingdom and the rest of the world...
, although this may be apocryphal.