Conversation opener
Encyclopedia
A conversation opener is an introduction used to begin a conversation
. They are frequently the subject of guides and seminar
s on how to make friends and/or meet people. Different situations may call for different openers (e.g. approaching a stranger on the street versus meeting them at a more structured gathering of people with like interests).
An opener often takes the form of an open-ended question, which can lead to further comments or conversation
as well as creating topics for future conversations (e.g. "How's your mandrill doing?").
A closed-ended question (e.g. "Nice weather today, isn't it?") is regarded as potentially less effective because it can be answered with a simple "Mm-hmm," which is essentially a conversational dead end, requiring the initiater of the conversation to start from scratch .
How to Start a Conversation notes that in conversation openers, "There really are only two topics to choose from – The situation [or] the other person. Secondly, there are only two ways to begin a conversation: State a fact [or] ask a question/opinion" . Accordingly, openers are often linked to props, e.g. "Do you have a cigarette?" "Wow, you're reading Crime and Punishment
, that's one of my favorite books..." "I like your skirt, where did you get it?" etc. Many venues, such as singles tennis events, etc. are geared toward prop-based conversation openers. Some people keep conversation piece
s for this purpose.
Judy Ringer's We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations points out that an entirely different set of openers may be used for sensitive conversations, e.g. about employee performance, in which a main goal may be to avoid putting the person on the defensive. These openers often take the form of I statements, e.g. "I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively" .
and tone of voice play as much as, or a greater role in, the effectiveness of openers used with romantic intentions as the actual words. Non-verbal cues communicate most of the information about confidence level and other aspects of the internal state of the person. Eric a.k.a. Disco recommends using the "familiar voice tone" in which one uses the same tone of voice in approaching a stranger as one would an old friend.
The book Routines Manual of Love Systems
contains examples of conversation openers used by pickup artists. The goal of such a conversation starter is to engage a woman into normal conversation. The effectiveness of the opener, "Hello, I'm John Smith," is controversial. How to Meet Women describes it as "...a classic move - simple, but devastatingly effective" while the Seduction Bible suggests, "Don’t give her your name. This is the first tool to confirm that she is interested in you. Instead, ask for her name. Once she says her name, compliment it and start talking. If after a while she asks you for your name, it means she is interested. If she doesn’t ask for your name, it means she doesn’t care."
Pick-up line
s are conversation openers intended as overt, sometimes humorous displays of romantic interest.
This type of conversation opener is often referred to as small talk and is used to make both people in a conversation feel comfortable. The book Get Noticed by Marcus A Taylor and Rob Lawrence explains how mastering the art of small talk involves active listening, being up to date with current affairs as well as identifying common interests to develop the conversation
Conversation
Conversation is a form of interactive, spontaneous communication between two or more people who are following rules of etiquette.Conversation analysis is a branch of sociology which studies the structure and organization of human interaction, with a more specific focus on conversational...
. They are frequently the subject of guides and seminar
Seminar
Seminar is, generally, a form of academic instruction, either at an academic institution or offered by a commercial or professional organization. It has the function of bringing together small groups for recurring meetings, focusing each time on some particular subject, in which everyone present is...
s on how to make friends and/or meet people. Different situations may call for different openers (e.g. approaching a stranger on the street versus meeting them at a more structured gathering of people with like interests).
An opener often takes the form of an open-ended question, which can lead to further comments or conversation
Conversation
Conversation is a form of interactive, spontaneous communication between two or more people who are following rules of etiquette.Conversation analysis is a branch of sociology which studies the structure and organization of human interaction, with a more specific focus on conversational...
as well as creating topics for future conversations (e.g. "How's your mandrill doing?").
A closed-ended question (e.g. "Nice weather today, isn't it?") is regarded as potentially less effective because it can be answered with a simple "Mm-hmm," which is essentially a conversational dead end, requiring the initiater of the conversation to start from scratch .
How to Start a Conversation notes that in conversation openers, "There really are only two topics to choose from – The situation [or] the other person. Secondly, there are only two ways to begin a conversation: State a fact [or] ask a question/opinion" . Accordingly, openers are often linked to props, e.g. "Do you have a cigarette?" "Wow, you're reading Crime and Punishment
Crime and Punishment
Crime and Punishment is a novel by the Russian author Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It was first published in the literary journal The Russian Messenger in twelve monthly installments during 1866. It was later published in a single volume. This is the second of Dostoyevsky's full-length novels following his...
, that's one of my favorite books..." "I like your skirt, where did you get it?" etc. Many venues, such as singles tennis events, etc. are geared toward prop-based conversation openers. Some people keep conversation piece
Conversation piece
Conversation piece is a term for an informal group portrait, especially those painted in Britain in the 18th century, beginning in the 1720s. They are distinguished by their portrayal of the group apparently engaged in genteel conversation or some activity, very often outdoors...
s for this purpose.
Judy Ringer's We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations points out that an entirely different set of openers may be used for sensitive conversations, e.g. about employee performance, in which a main goal may be to avoid putting the person on the defensive. These openers often take the form of I statements, e.g. "I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively" .
Conversation openers for romantic purposes
Not to be confused as pickup lines, conversation starters are used to engage a person to pursue sexual or romantic interest. It is also commonly called "openers". Most sources concur that body languageBody language
Body language is a form of non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously....
and tone of voice play as much as, or a greater role in, the effectiveness of openers used with romantic intentions as the actual words. Non-verbal cues communicate most of the information about confidence level and other aspects of the internal state of the person. Eric a.k.a. Disco recommends using the "familiar voice tone" in which one uses the same tone of voice in approaching a stranger as one would an old friend.
The book Routines Manual of Love Systems
Love Systems
Love Systems is a corporation that markets dating seminars teaching men how to meet women and how to have successful relationships with women. The company is based in Los Angeles, CA, USA...
contains examples of conversation openers used by pickup artists. The goal of such a conversation starter is to engage a woman into normal conversation. The effectiveness of the opener, "Hello, I'm John Smith," is controversial. How to Meet Women describes it as "...a classic move - simple, but devastatingly effective" while the Seduction Bible suggests, "Don’t give her your name. This is the first tool to confirm that she is interested in you. Instead, ask for her name. Once she says her name, compliment it and start talking. If after a while she asks you for your name, it means she is interested. If she doesn’t ask for your name, it means she doesn’t care."
Pick-up line
Pick-up line
A pick-up line is a conversation opener with the intent of engaging an unfamiliar person for romance, or dating. Overt and sometimes humorous displays of romantic interest, pick-up lines advertise the wit of their speakers to their target listeners....
s are conversation openers intended as overt, sometimes humorous displays of romantic interest.
Conversation openers in sales settings
In sales settings, conversation openers often are used to probe the subject for information. Topic chosen are on 'safe ground' like 'the weather' or 'how was your journey to get here' . This information can then be used in attempts to counter objections.This type of conversation opener is often referred to as small talk and is used to make both people in a conversation feel comfortable. The book Get Noticed by Marcus A Taylor and Rob Lawrence explains how mastering the art of small talk involves active listening, being up to date with current affairs as well as identifying common interests to develop the conversation