Covert incest
Encyclopedia
The term covert incest is used by some mental health professionals to describe a relationship between parents and children that is sexualized and expects a child to fulfill adult emotional roles, though without actual incest
. Proponents of the concept describe the relationships as harmful and one-sided, and similar to a relationship between adult sexual partner
s, but without the type of physical contact that would be considered child sexual abuse
. Its effects are described as similar to, though less severe than, that of actual incest. The concept has been criticized as an overly broad set of criteria that excessively expands the definition of child sexual abuse.
in which the relationship between a parent and a child is inappropriately sexualized without actual sexual contact
. Substance abuse
is thought to be associated with covert incest. The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest though to a lesser degree, and Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims having anger or guilt towards parents and issues with self-esteem
, addiction and sexual and emotional intimacy.
Covert incest was defined in the 1980s as an emotionally abusive
relationship between a parent (or stepparent) and child that does not involve incest
or sexual intercourse
, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between sexual partner
s; it has also been described as a parent responding to a child's love with adult sexuality. Problems between parents often facilitate covert incest; as the parents distance themselves from each other both physically and emotionally, one parent may begin focusing on his/her child. The child becomes the surrogate partner and source of emotional support for the parent. The abusing parent may also be afraid or unable to meet their needs through a relationship with another adult. Alcoholism and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.
Covert incest occurs when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a spouse
onto their child instead. The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent and the adult may not be aware of the issues created by their actions.
Jungian analyst
and author Marion Woodman
describes psychic incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than mirroring the child in support of the child's emotional development. Woodman considers psychic incest to damage the internal experience of the "parental complexes
," described in Jungian analysis as a combination of actual interaction with the parents and the innate mother and father archetypes; according to Woodman, when these are damaged due to covert incest, an affected individual can experience distress in their personal relationships and sexual relationships in particular.
seem more prevalent than it actually is.
Incest
Incest is sexual intercourse between close relatives that is usually illegal in the jurisdiction where it takes place and/or is conventionally considered a taboo. The term may apply to sexual activities between: individuals of close "blood relationship"; members of the same household; step...
. Proponents of the concept describe the relationships as harmful and one-sided, and similar to a relationship between adult sexual partner
Sexual partner
Sexual partners are people who engage in sexual activity together. The sexual partners can be of any gender or sexual orientation. The sexual partners may be in a committed relationship, either on an exclusive basis or not, or engage in the sexual activity on a casual basis...
s, but without the type of physical contact that would be considered child sexual abuse
Child sexual abuse
Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. Forms of child sexual abuse include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities , indecent exposure with intent to gratify their own sexual desires or to...
. Its effects are described as similar to, though less severe than, that of actual incest. The concept has been criticized as an overly broad set of criteria that excessively expands the definition of child sexual abuse.
Description
Covert incest refers to a form of emotional abusePsychological abuse
Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder...
in which the relationship between a parent and a child is inappropriately sexualized without actual sexual contact
Incest
Incest is sexual intercourse between close relatives that is usually illegal in the jurisdiction where it takes place and/or is conventionally considered a taboo. The term may apply to sexual activities between: individuals of close "blood relationship"; members of the same household; step...
. Substance abuse
Substance abuse
A substance-related disorder is an umbrella term used to describe several different conditions associated with several different substances .A substance related disorder is a condition in which an individual uses or abuses a...
is thought to be associated with covert incest. The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest though to a lesser degree, and Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims having anger or guilt towards parents and issues with self-esteem
Self-esteem
Self-esteem is a term in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame: some would distinguish how 'the self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, the...
, addiction and sexual and emotional intimacy.
Covert incest was defined in the 1980s as an emotionally abusive
Psychological abuse
Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder...
relationship between a parent (or stepparent) and child that does not involve incest
Incest
Incest is sexual intercourse between close relatives that is usually illegal in the jurisdiction where it takes place and/or is conventionally considered a taboo. The term may apply to sexual activities between: individuals of close "blood relationship"; members of the same household; step...
or sexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse, also known as copulation or coitus, commonly refers to the act in which a male's penis enters a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction. The entities may be of opposite sexes, or they may be hermaphroditic, as is the case with snails...
, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between sexual partner
Sexual partner
Sexual partners are people who engage in sexual activity together. The sexual partners can be of any gender or sexual orientation. The sexual partners may be in a committed relationship, either on an exclusive basis or not, or engage in the sexual activity on a casual basis...
s; it has also been described as a parent responding to a child's love with adult sexuality. Problems between parents often facilitate covert incest; as the parents distance themselves from each other both physically and emotionally, one parent may begin focusing on his/her child. The child becomes the surrogate partner and source of emotional support for the parent. The abusing parent may also be afraid or unable to meet their needs through a relationship with another adult. Alcoholism and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.
Covert incest occurs when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a spouse
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
onto their child instead. The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent and the adult may not be aware of the issues created by their actions.
Jungian analyst
Analytical psychology
Analytical psychology is the school of psychology originating from the ideas of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. His theoretical orientation has been advanced by his students and other thinkers who followed in his tradition. Though they share similarities, analytical psychology is distinct from...
and author Marion Woodman
Marion Woodman
Marion Woodman is a Canadian mythopoetic author and women's movement figure. She is a Jungian analyst trained at the C. G. Jung Institute in Zürich, Switzerland. She is one of the most widely read authors on feminine psychology, focusing on psyche and soma. She is also an international lecturer...
describes psychic incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than mirroring the child in support of the child's emotional development. Woodman considers psychic incest to damage the internal experience of the "parental complexes
Complex (psychology)
A complex is a core pattern of emotions, memories, perceptions, and wishes in the personal unconscious organized around a common theme, such as power or status...
," described in Jungian analysis as a combination of actual interaction with the parents and the innate mother and father archetypes; according to Woodman, when these are damaged due to covert incest, an affected individual can experience distress in their personal relationships and sexual relationships in particular.
Criticisms
Critics of covert incest have claimed that the concept dramatically loosens the definition of incest, making child abuseChild abuse
Child abuse is the physical, sexual, emotional mistreatment, or neglect of a child. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Department of Children And Families define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or...
seem more prevalent than it actually is.