Desert Island Teacher
Encyclopedia
Desert Island Teacher is an occasional Viz strip created and drawn by John Fardell
John Fardell
John Fardell is a British cartoonist and author.He is a regular contributor to the adult comic Viz, and has created and drawn two of the most popular and long-running strips, The Modern Parents and The Critics, as well as the more recent additions of Ferdinand the Foodie and Desert Island Teacher...

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The strip features a school teacher (Brian Chalkwright) stranded on a tiny rocky islet
Islet
An islet is a very small island.- Types :As suggested by its origin as islette, an Old French diminutive of "isle", use of the term implies small size, but little attention is given to drawing an upper limit on its applicability....

 after a shipwreck
Shipwreck
A shipwreck is what remains of a ship that has wrecked, either sunk or beached. Whatever the cause, a sunken ship or a wrecked ship is a physical example of the event: this explains why the two concepts are often overlapping in English....

. Stuck for anything else to do, he continues to teach with the assorted wildlife as his pupils. A major feature of the strip is that he never actually says anything of any academic value, but instead spends all his time saying things like 'Face the front' and 'I will not start until I have absolute quiet'.

His adventures have included rescuing a boy from another shipwreck, only to bore him so much that he left the islet in his safety ring. On another occasion, the teacher got himself in 'serious trouble' for abusing a crab (crushing it under his feet) but is exonerated by seagulls. In the same episode he has sexual relations with an underage starfish. He is rescued by a navy search and rescue
Search and rescue
Search and rescue is the search for and provision of aid to people who are in distress or imminent danger.The general field of search and rescue includes many specialty sub-fields, mostly based upon terrain considerations...

team, only to admonish them as if a delinquent pupil, saying: "You think you're so clever, being able to fly a helicopter, but it's not going to help you in the real world." The rescue crew throw him off the helicopter for insulting them.
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