Doctor Poo is a cartoon character

Fictional character

A character is the representation of a person in a narrative work of art . Derived from the ancient Greek word kharaktêr , the earliest use in English, in this sense, dates from the Restoration, although it became widely used after its appearance in Tom Jones in 1749. From this, the sense of...

 in the British

United Kingdom

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...

 comic magazine

Comic magazine

Comic magazine may refer to:*A periodical containing comic strips, in the UK referred to as comic.*In the U.S., more commonly referred to as a comic book.*In Japan comic magazines are called manga.*See also Franco-Belgian comics magazines....

 Viz, featured in a one-off one-page strip of 25 panels that appeared in the June 1996 issue of the comic. The strip, a parody of the long-running BBC

BBC

The British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...

 television series Doctor Who

Doctor Who

Doctor Who is a British science fiction television programme produced by the BBC. The programme depicts the adventures of a time-travelling humanoid alien known as the Doctor who explores the universe in a sentient time machine called the TARDIS that flies through time and space, whose exterior...

, was written by Simon Donald

Simon Donald

Simon Donald is a co-founder and was co-editor of the British comic magazine Viz until 2003.He set up the magazine in 1979 with his brother Chris from a bedroom in Newcastle. His most famous creation for the magazine is probably Sid the Sexist....

, Simon Thorp and Graham Dury

Graham Dury

Graham Dury is a British cartoonist. He is known for his work with adult comic Viz, having contributed to the magazine from its early years...

 and drawn by Simon Donald.

A Flash animation of this story was published on the Viz website,, animated by Steve Donald, with voices provided by him and Simon Donald, and music by Tim Hutchinson.

Synopsis

The characters in the strip are the Doctor

Doctor (Doctor Who)

The Doctor is the central character in the long-running BBC television science-fiction series Doctor Who, and has also featured in two cinema feature films, a vast range of spin-off novels, audio dramas and comic strips connected to the series....

 in his fourth

Fourth Doctor

The Fourth Doctor is the fourth incarnation of the protagonist of the long-running BBC British television science-fiction series Doctor Who....

, Tom Baker

Tom Baker

Thomas Stewart "Tom" Baker is a British actor. He is best known for playing the fourth incarnation of the Doctor in the science fiction television series Doctor Who, a role he played from 1974 to 1981.-Early life:...

, incarnation and (anachronistically

Anachronism

An anachronism—from the Greek ανά and χρόνος — is an inconsistency in some chronological arrangement, especially a chronological misplacing of persons, events, objects, or customs in regard to each other...

, within the fiction of the TV series) Jamie McCrimmon

Jamie McCrimmon

James Robert "Jamie" McCrimmon is a fictional character played by Frazer Hines in the long-running British science fiction television series Doctor Who. A piper of the Clan McLaren who lived in 18th century Scotland, he was a companion of the Second Doctor and a regular in the programme from 1966...

, his Scottish

Scotland

Scotland is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. Occupying the northern third of the island of Great Britain, it shares a border with England to the south and is bounded by the North Sea to the east, the Atlantic Ocean to the north and west, and the North Channel and Irish Sea to the...

 assistant, plus classic monsters including Sea Devils and Dalek

Dalek

The Daleks are a fictional extraterrestrial race of mutants from the British science fiction television series Doctor Who. Within the series, Daleks are cyborgs from the planet Skaro, created by the scientist Davros during the final years of a thousand-year war against the Thals...

s. The strip concerns his quest "to find somewhere to have a big shit", by "travelling through time and space". The concept is largely identical to that of the regular Viz strip Billy Bottom and his Toilet Pranks in which the title character is constantly trying to defecate (poo) whilst various people, situations and obstacles that prevent him from doing so stand in his way.

Plot

The animation begins with a parody of the Doctor Who opening titles. Instead of having a glowing logo partially enclosed in a diamond shape, this logo has brown letters with round ends placed between two pairs of pink buttocks. Also, instead of sparkling stars shooting past the logo, two swirls spiral around it like the flushing of a toilet. The electronic theme song is parodied using sampled farting noises.

The plot is a succession of the Doctor's increasingly desperate attempts to "curl one off", always interrupted by threatening appearances of monsters who time and again thwart the good Doctor's attempts to park his breakfast (defecate). The dialogue uses parodies of classic Doctor Who phrases, for example: "set the coordinates for anywhere in space with plenty of bushes, Jamie." It also introduces terms that later appeared in Roger's Profanisaurus

Roger's Profanisaurus

Roger's Profanisaurus is a compendium of profanity, featuring the foulmouthed Viz character Roger Mellie, the man on the telly. The title is a word play on Roget's Thesaurus. The book is published in the United Kingdom by Viz, and described as "the foulest-mouthed book ever to stalk the face of...

, such as, "it's in the bomb bay", "touching cloth", and "The Turtle's Head", the title of one of the Viz annuals. Jamie's accent is more typically Scottish than that of the original character in the series.

The Doctor's first attempt is ruined by the Cybermen

Cyberman

The Cybermen are a fictional race of cyborgs who are amongst the most persistent enemies of the Doctor in the British science fiction television series, Doctor Who. Cybermen were originally a wholly organic species of humanoids originating on Earth's twin planet Mondas that began to implant more...

. Next, the TARDIS

TARDIS

The TARDISGenerally, TARDIS is written in all upper case letters—this convention was popularised by the Target novelisations of the 1970s...

 arrives at a seemingly deserted beach. As soon as the Doctor drops his trousers, an army of Sea Devils emerges from the water, guns pointed at the Doctor, who flees back into the TARDIS.

On arrival at a "top-notch little kludgie" on Metebelis Three, the Doctor finds it occupied by the Master

Master (Doctor Who)

The Master is a recurring character in the British science fiction television series Doctor Who. He is a renegade Time Lord and the archenemy of the Doctor....

, who has been out "on the pop last night" and has "got the squirts something rotten". By this time the Doctor is "chewing a fucking brick".

In a final bid to "drop fudge" they materialise on Skaro

Skaro

Skaro is a fictional planet from the British science fiction television series Doctor Who created by the writer Terry Nation as the home planet of the Daleks and, at times, the centre of the Dalek Empire....

, the planet of the Daleks. Pursued by Daleks ("Intruder ... Intruder ... heading for Davros

Davros

Davros is a character from the long-running British science fiction television series Doctor Who. Davros is an archenemy of the Doctor and is the creator of the Doctor's deadliest enemies, the Daleks...

's private shitehouse") the Doctor just makes it, and enjoys blissful relief ("nectar!"). The Daleks blast open the door to the toilet, and quickly complain about the stink unleashed ("YOU... FILTHY... BASTARD!").