as Wyatt Rash, a local police chief from Verplanck, New York
, who investigates the mysterious death of Mona Dearly, a spiteful, loud-mouthed, cruel and highly unpopular woman, who drove her son's car off a cliff and drowned in a river.
The film's first scene shows Mona Dearly (Bette Midler
) leaving her home and trying in vain to unlock her car. Her keys fit her son's car, so she takes that and drives off.
Good luck doesn't happen to people like us. Good luck happens to Madonna.
I could wind up floating on the bottom of the Hudson.
Some shame bout that Mona Dearly. I mean, so young.
I want half. And don't give me none of that "fifty-percent" shit.
Look, I heard you the first time, Bobby. I ain't mute.
Mona Dearly: Don't call yourselves BJ Landscaping. You don't want people to go around calling you "Blow Job Landscaping."
Phil Dearly: [singing] I'm a Wheel Watcher! I'm a Wheel Watcher!
1 murder. 460 prime suspects. Not so much of a 'who done it' as a 'who didn't'.
The death of Mona Dearly wasn't so much a whodunnit, as a who didn't.