Earl Pitts (radio character)
Encyclopedia
Earl Pitts is a fictional character performed by Gary Burbank
, a radio
personality from Cincinnati, Ohio
.
Pitts, who is almost always referred to as "Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun" (as in "American
") is a stereotype of a redneck from the Southern United States
. As such, Pitts presents a daily "editorial," which always begins with a bugle call
of "Assembly"
, and the words, "Ya' know what makes me sick?" followed by another line like, "You know what makes me so angry, ah just want to soak mah butt in a bucket of toxic waste
?" Pitts then goes off on a rant, either about some cultural topic of the day as seen from a redneck point of view, or an anecdote about his home life or his job at the local tavern. His family and friends — wife Pearl, son Earl Junior, daughter Sandra Dee, and good friend Dub Meeker, among others — figure prominently in many routines. His signature ending lines are "Wake Up, Uhmerika!" and "Ah'm Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun. Pitts off!" while The Washington Post
march plays in the background.
Burbank, whose radio career has taken him from his native Memphis
to his 20-year-plus gig working afternoon drive time
at WLW-AM in Cincinnati (and briefly in national syndication), began the Pitts character shortly after arriving at WLW. The daily routines became an instant hit, and a few years later Pitts' commentaries were syndicated nationally. Earl Pitts now is heard on about 200 stations and via XM Satellite Radio
's WLW simulcast.
Burbank says that Pitts is the second-longest running syndicated comedy program ever. This is probably true, although he mistakenly lists News and Comment to be in first place (News and Comment, the program originally hosted by Paul Harvey
, is neither a comedy program nor syndicated; it was a network program heard on ABC Radio Networks for its entire 58-year run); the real longest syndicated comedy program, in years and hours on air, is Dr. Demento
, which syndicated weekly from 1974 to 2010. In number of episodes, the Pitts monologues are likely in first place.
Earl's Web site features items for sale including purchase rights to previous monologues. Ostensibly, hearing the program online requires a subscription to the Pitts Web site. However, many stations stream the program at a regular time, and in addition, WFLA
in Tampa, Florida offers a daily podcast
of the show.
Despite Burbank's retirement as a host of WLW, the daily Pitts commentaries continue, and have recently expanded into television. Burbank taped several 90-second "commentaries" as Pitts to be seen on WGN America (and possibly other stations owned by Tribune Company
. The spots were done at the behest of Burbank's old boss at WLW, and were taped at a pub in Fort Thomas, Kentucky
.
and has been unhappily married (for a long time, it is presumed) to his wife, Pearl, with whom he has two children: his son, Earl Jr., who is in his early 20s and frequently comes to his father for advice, and his teenage daughter Sandra Dee (named after, but no relation to the actress of the same name
), who is noted for her presumed ugliness and is more of a nuisance. He has a little-mentioned brother, Merle Pitts. Earl is employed as a bartender at the Duck Inn, a local tavern. His experiences and interactions with the bar patrons serve as fodder for many of his monologues.
Earl's hometown is not explicitly stated in most cases; Pitts himself states that he hails from Water Valley, Mississippi
but tries to sound like he comes from a generic small town near the listener-- for instance, KERN
in Bakersfield, California
, a Pitts affiliate, claimed Pitts to be from nearby Oildale
. Earl's website states he spent many, if not all, of his early years in Rooster Ear, Mississippi, a town that does not exist in real life.
Gary Burbank
Gary Burbank is an American radio personality. He was heard daily on WLW in Cincinnati, Ohio, from June 15, 1981 until December 21, 2007, when he signed off for the last time.-Career in Radio:...
, a radio
Radio
Radio is the transmission of signals through free space by modulation of electromagnetic waves with frequencies below those of visible light. Electromagnetic radiation travels by means of oscillating electromagnetic fields that pass through the air and the vacuum of space...
personality from Cincinnati, Ohio
Cincinnati, Ohio
Cincinnati is a city in the U.S. state of Ohio. Cincinnati is the county seat of Hamilton County. Settled in 1788, the city is located to north of the Ohio River at the Ohio-Kentucky border, near Indiana. The population within city limits is 296,943 according to the 2010 census, making it Ohio's...
.
Pitts, who is almost always referred to as "Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun" (as in "American
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
") is a stereotype of a redneck from the Southern United States
Southern United States
The Southern United States—commonly referred to as the American South, Dixie, or simply the South—constitutes a large distinctive area in the southeastern and south-central United States...
. As such, Pitts presents a daily "editorial," which always begins with a bugle call
Bugle call
A bugle call is a short tune, originating as a military signal announcing scheduled and certain non-scheduled events on a military installation, battlefield, or ship. Historically, bugles, drums, and other loud musical instruments were used for clear communication in the noise and confusion of a...
of "Assembly"
Assembly (bugle call)
Assembly is a bugle call used to call in a group of soldiers or scouts. It is also sometimes referred to as "Fall in"....
, and the words, "Ya' know what makes me sick?" followed by another line like, "You know what makes me so angry, ah just want to soak mah butt in a bucket of toxic waste
Toxic waste
Toxic waste is waste material that can cause death or injury to living creatures. It spreads quite easily and can contaminate lakes and rivers. The term is often used interchangeably with “hazardous waste”, or discarded material that can pose a long-term risk to health or environment.Toxic waste...
?" Pitts then goes off on a rant, either about some cultural topic of the day as seen from a redneck point of view, or an anecdote about his home life or his job at the local tavern. His family and friends — wife Pearl, son Earl Junior, daughter Sandra Dee, and good friend Dub Meeker, among others — figure prominently in many routines. His signature ending lines are "Wake Up, Uhmerika!" and "Ah'm Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun. Pitts off!" while The Washington Post
The Washington Post (march)
"The Washington Post" is a march composed by John Philip Sousa in 1889. Since then, it has remained as one of his most popular marches throughout the United States and many countries abroad.-History:...
march plays in the background.
Burbank, whose radio career has taken him from his native Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
Memphis is a city in the southwestern corner of the U.S. state of Tennessee, and the county seat of Shelby County. The city is located on the 4th Chickasaw Bluff, south of the confluence of the Wolf and Mississippi rivers....
to his 20-year-plus gig working afternoon drive time
Drive time
Drive time is the daypart analog to prime time for radio broadcasting. It consists of the morning hours when listeners wake up, get ready, and/or head to work or school, and the afternoon hours when they are heading home and before their evening meal. These are the periods where the number of...
at WLW-AM in Cincinnati (and briefly in national syndication), began the Pitts character shortly after arriving at WLW. The daily routines became an instant hit, and a few years later Pitts' commentaries were syndicated nationally. Earl Pitts now is heard on about 200 stations and via XM Satellite Radio
XM Satellite Radio
XM Satellite Radio is one of two satellite radio services in the United States and Canada, operated by Sirius XM Radio. It provides pay-for-service radio, analogous to cable television. Its service includes 73 different music channels, 39 news, sports, talk and entertainment channels, 21 regional...
's WLW simulcast.
Burbank says that Pitts is the second-longest running syndicated comedy program ever. This is probably true, although he mistakenly lists News and Comment to be in first place (News and Comment, the program originally hosted by Paul Harvey
Paul Harvey
Paul Harvey Aurandt , better known as Paul Harvey, was an American radio broadcaster for the ABC Radio Networks. He broadcast News and Comment on weekday mornings and mid-days, and at noon on Saturdays, as well as his famous The Rest of the Story segments. His listening audience was estimated, at...
, is neither a comedy program nor syndicated; it was a network program heard on ABC Radio Networks for its entire 58-year run); the real longest syndicated comedy program, in years and hours on air, is Dr. Demento
Dr. Demento
Barret Eugene Hansen , better known as Dr. Demento, is a radio broadcaster and record collector specializing in novelty songs, comedy, and strange or unusual recordings dating from the early days of phonograph records to the present....
, which syndicated weekly from 1974 to 2010. In number of episodes, the Pitts monologues are likely in first place.
Earl's Web site features items for sale including purchase rights to previous monologues. Ostensibly, hearing the program online requires a subscription to the Pitts Web site. However, many stations stream the program at a regular time, and in addition, WFLA
WFLA (AM)
WFLA is an AM radio station in Tampa, Florida, serving the Arbitron Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater market with additional listenership to the east in the adjacent Lakeland-Winter Haven market and to the south in the adjacent Sarasota-Bradenton market...
in Tampa, Florida offers a daily podcast
Podcast
A podcast is a series of digital media files that are released episodically and often downloaded through web syndication...
of the show.
Despite Burbank's retirement as a host of WLW, the daily Pitts commentaries continue, and have recently expanded into television. Burbank taped several 90-second "commentaries" as Pitts to be seen on WGN America (and possibly other stations owned by Tribune Company
Tribune Company
The Tribune Company is a large American multimedia corporation based in Chicago, Illinois. It is the nation's second-largest newspaper publisher, with ten daily newspapers and commuter tabloids including Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, Hartford Courant, Orlando Sentinel, South Florida...
. The spots were done at the behest of Burbank's old boss at WLW, and were taped at a pub in Fort Thomas, Kentucky
Fort Thomas, Kentucky
Fort Thomas is a city in Campbell County, Kentucky, on the southern bank of the Ohio River and the site of an 1890 US Army post. The population was 16,325 at the 2010 census, making it the largest city in Campbell County and it is officially part of the Cincinnati – Northern Kentucky metropolitan...
.
Character background
Very little has been written seriously about Pitts's home and family life; most written references contain little but nonsense. However, Pitts does frequently mention such information in his monologues. He is of indeterminate middle ageMiddle age
Middle age is the period of age beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Various attempts have been made to define this age, which is around the third quarter of the average life span of human beings....
and has been unhappily married (for a long time, it is presumed) to his wife, Pearl, with whom he has two children: his son, Earl Jr., who is in his early 20s and frequently comes to his father for advice, and his teenage daughter Sandra Dee (named after, but no relation to the actress of the same name
Sandra Dee
Sandra Dee was an American actress. Dee began her career as a model and progressed to film. Best known for her portrayal of ingenues, Dee won a Golden Globe Award in 1959 as one of the year's most promising newcomers, and over several years her films were popular...
), who is noted for her presumed ugliness and is more of a nuisance. He has a little-mentioned brother, Merle Pitts. Earl is employed as a bartender at the Duck Inn, a local tavern. His experiences and interactions with the bar patrons serve as fodder for many of his monologues.
Earl's hometown is not explicitly stated in most cases; Pitts himself states that he hails from Water Valley, Mississippi
Water Valley, Mississippi
Water Valley is a city in Yalobusha County, Mississippi, United States. The population was 3,677 at the 2000 census.-Geography:Water Valley is located at ....
but tries to sound like he comes from a generic small town near the listener-- for instance, KERN
KERN
KERI is a radio station broadcasting a Christian radio format. Licensed to Bakersfield, California, USA. The station is currently owned by American General Media.-History:...
in Bakersfield, California
Bakersfield, California
Bakersfield is a city near the southern end of the San Joaquin Valley in Kern County, California. It is roughly equidistant between Fresno and Los Angeles, to the north and south respectively....
, a Pitts affiliate, claimed Pitts to be from nearby Oildale
Oildale, California
Oildale is a census-designated place in Kern County, California, United States. Oildale is located north-northwest of downtown Bakersfield, at an elevation of 469 feet . The population was 32,684 at the 2010 census, up from 27,885 at the 2000 census...
. Earl's website states he spent many, if not all, of his early years in Rooster Ear, Mississippi, a town that does not exist in real life.