He thinks the moral of the Adam and Eve story is; don't eat when you're naked.

I know you're small, but in bed space, you're like one of those monsters on the spaceship...

It's like getting into a hot bath. You know, at first, you don't think you can take it. But then, you know, once you get all your luggage in it's not that bad.

ESPN, nothing quite like it. Nothing even comes close. Well, ESPN 2.

Ok... the thing I said about lightening up... this is a little too light.

That's the rule of marriage. A spouse automatically has the right to know that you deflowered a woman in front of your entire apartment building.

Let's just hope Santa takes the cookies...

I got to take a shower. I smell like the winner.

It's a little hard to hug someone who chooses once a month to rip into you like a monkey on a cupcake!

Hey Robert, don't look now, I think that woman is giving you the eye... wait, no, it's the finger.