Evil Alien Conquerors
Encyclopedia
Evil Alien Conquerors is a movie directed by Chris Matheson (who co-wrote Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
) in 2003
, and is a blend of science-fiction and comedy
. The film follows two aliens who are sent to Earth
to destroy mankind, but when they arrive they are unable to complete their mission. The two aliens befriend a fast food employee who helps them.
everyone in two days. The aliens go by the names My-ik (Diedrich Bader
), and Du-ug (Chris Parnell
). They are on a "holy mission" by the fanatical leader of Kabijj. They're scared to fail because of the consequences: death by the giant Croker, a fearsome warrior from their home planet.
The two friends have an immediate problem when they teleport to Earth: their swords shrink into tiny, toothpick sized blades. They then meet their first Earthling, Kenny, played by Michael Weston
. Kenny is very friendly and acts as their guide on Earth. He is impressed with their arrival as he watches them fall from the sky.
The two aliens struggle with many hardships, including a difficult time when a cow defeats ] them, even though they're armed with a chainsaw
and machete
. Du-ug quickly becomes addicted to Smirnoff Ice
, and it's not long before he is seduced by a revolting woman while cleaning her yard to gain some extra cash.
They fall in love with two women they meet at a local laundromat. The women are beautiful by Kabijji standards since they have unibrow
s and hairy feet. The relationships run fairly smoothly, until a very drunk My-ik and Du-ug lose control and remember that Croker is coming soon to deal with them.
As time runs out they realize that they have to begin their mission. They start out small, buying a chainsaw and machete from the local hardware store. Soon they come up with a number of grandiose ideas, including implanting metal in the heads of all humans and unleashing a gigantic magnet
to tear the heads off. They also come up with using a tandem bicycle
with massive wings and, to make sure they had everyone's attention by "giving them what they want," which is pornography. Finally, to get everyone to stand at attention, they play the Star-Spangled Banner on an old tape deck.
However, the only real weapon Du-ug and My-ik have is the ability to annoyingly screech simultaneously at different octaves.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is a 1989 American science fiction–comedy buddy film and the first film in the Bill & Ted franchise in which two metalhead slackers travel through time to assemble a menagerie of historical figures for their high school history presentation.The film was written by...
) in 2003
2003 in film
The year 2003 in film involved some significant events. Releases of sequels took place with movies like The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix Revolutions, Pokémon Heroes, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines,...
, and is a blend of science-fiction and comedy
Comedy
Comedy , as a popular meaning, is any humorous discourse or work generally intended to amuse by creating laughter, especially in television, film, and stand-up comedy. This must be carefully distinguished from its academic definition, namely the comic theatre, whose Western origins are found in...
. The film follows two aliens who are sent to Earth
Earth
Earth is the third planet from the Sun, and the densest and fifth-largest of the eight planets in the Solar System. It is also the largest of the Solar System's four terrestrial planets...
to destroy mankind, but when they arrive they are unable to complete their mission. The two aliens befriend a fast food employee who helps them.
Plot
Two aliens are sent to Earth to decapitateDecapitation
Decapitation is the separation of the head from the body. Beheading typically refers to the act of intentional decapitation, e.g., as a means of murder or execution; it may be accomplished, for example, with an axe, sword, knife, wire, or by other more sophisticated means such as a guillotine...
everyone in two days. The aliens go by the names My-ik (Diedrich Bader
Diedrich Bader
Karl Diedrich Bader , better known as Diedrich Bader, is an American actor, voice artist and comedian. Many know him for his roles as Oswald Lee Harvey on The Drew Carey Show, Lawrence from the film Office Space, the Tae Kwon Do instructor Rex from Napoleon Dynamite, Tank "Shredder" Evans in Surf's...
), and Du-ug (Chris Parnell
Chris Parnell
Thomas Christopher "Chris" Parnell is an American comic actor best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1998–2006 and currently for his recurring role as Dr. Leo Spaceman on NBC's Emmy Award-winning comedy series 30 Rock. Parnell also voices Cyril Figgis on the FX animated comedy...
). They are on a "holy mission" by the fanatical leader of Kabijj. They're scared to fail because of the consequences: death by the giant Croker, a fearsome warrior from their home planet.
The two friends have an immediate problem when they teleport to Earth: their swords shrink into tiny, toothpick sized blades. They then meet their first Earthling, Kenny, played by Michael Weston
Michael Weston
Michael Weston is an American television and film actor. His best-known roles are the private detective Lucas Douglas on House, the homicidal meth addict Jake in the critically acclaimed HBO drama Six Feet Under and Pvt...
. Kenny is very friendly and acts as their guide on Earth. He is impressed with their arrival as he watches them fall from the sky.
The two aliens struggle with many hardships, including a difficult time when a cow defeats ] them, even though they're armed with a chainsaw
Chainsaw
A chainsaw is a portable mechanical saw, powered by electricity, compressed air, hydraulic power, or most commonly a two-stroke engine...
and machete
Machete
The machete is a large cleaver-like cutting tool. The blade is typically long and usually under thick. In the English language, an equivalent term is matchet, though it is less commonly known...
. Du-ug quickly becomes addicted to Smirnoff Ice
Smirnoff
Smirnoff is a brand of vodka owned and produced by the British company Diageo. The Smirnoff brand began with a vodka distillery founded in Moscow by Pyotr Arsenievich Smirnov , the son of illiterate Russian peasants. It is now distributed in 130 countries.Smirnoff products include vodka, flavored...
, and it's not long before he is seduced by a revolting woman while cleaning her yard to gain some extra cash.
They fall in love with two women they meet at a local laundromat. The women are beautiful by Kabijji standards since they have unibrow
Unibrow
A unibrow is a "confluence of eyebrows"; that is, the presence of abundant hair between the eyebrows, so that they seem to converge to form one long eyebrow. The condition of having a unibrow is synophrys.-Beauty culture:...
s and hairy feet. The relationships run fairly smoothly, until a very drunk My-ik and Du-ug lose control and remember that Croker is coming soon to deal with them.
As time runs out they realize that they have to begin their mission. They start out small, buying a chainsaw and machete from the local hardware store. Soon they come up with a number of grandiose ideas, including implanting metal in the heads of all humans and unleashing a gigantic magnet
Magnet
A magnet is a material or object that produces a magnetic field. This magnetic field is invisible but is responsible for the most notable property of a magnet: a force that pulls on other ferromagnetic materials, such as iron, and attracts or repels other magnets.A permanent magnet is an object...
to tear the heads off. They also come up with using a tandem bicycle
Tandem bicycle
The tandem bicycle or twin is a form of bicycle designed to be ridden by more than one person. The term tandem refers to the seating arrangement , not the number of riders. A bike with two riders side-by-side is called a sociable.-History:Patents related to tandem bicycles date from the late 19th...
with massive wings and, to make sure they had everyone's attention by "giving them what they want," which is pornography. Finally, to get everyone to stand at attention, they play the Star-Spangled Banner on an old tape deck.
However, the only real weapon Du-ug and My-ik have is the ability to annoyingly screech simultaneously at different octaves.
Cast
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
| Diedrich Bader Diedrich Bader Karl Diedrich Bader , better known as Diedrich Bader, is an American actor, voice artist and comedian. Many know him for his roles as Oswald Lee Harvey on The Drew Carey Show, Lawrence from the film Office Space, the Tae Kwon Do instructor Rex from Napoleon Dynamite, Tank "Shredder" Evans in Surf's... |
My-ik |
| Chris Parnell Chris Parnell Thomas Christopher "Chris" Parnell is an American comic actor best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1998–2006 and currently for his recurring role as Dr. Leo Spaceman on NBC's Emmy Award-winning comedy series 30 Rock. Parnell also voices Cyril Figgis on the FX animated comedy... |
Du-ug |
| Michael Weston Michael Weston Michael Weston is an American television and film actor. His best-known roles are the private detective Lucas Douglas on House, the homicidal meth addict Jake in the critically acclaimed HBO drama Six Feet Under and Pvt... |
Kenny |
| Elden Henson Elden Henson Elden Henson is an American actor. He is best known for playing Fulton Reed in the Mighty Ducks trilogy with Emilio Estevez, and playing Lenny Kagan in The Butterfly Effect.... |
Ron |
| Phil LaMarr Phil LaMarr Phillip "Phil" LaMarr is an American actor, comedian and voice actor. One of the original cast members on the sketch comedy series MADtv, he is also known for his small, but memorable role as Marvin in Pulp Fiction... |
Vel-Dan |
| Tyler Labine Tyler Labine Tyler Sean Labine is a Canadian actor. His brothers Kyle Labine and Cameron Labine also work in the entertainment industry.-Life and career:Labine was born in Brampton, Ontario... |
Croker |
| Beth Grant Beth Grant Beth Grant is an American actress. She is known for often playing characters who are conservatives, religious zealots or sticklers for rules.... |
Sheila |
| Mike McShane Mike McShane Michael "Mike" McShane is an American actor, singer, and improvisational comedian who first became known through his appearances in the early 1990s on the British version of the television show Whose Line Is It Anyway?-Biography:... |
Rabirr |
| Martin Spanjers Martin Spanjers Martin Ryan Spanjers is an American actor. He is best known for playing the role of Rory Hennessy in the short-lived ABC television sitcom 8 Simples Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.-Life and career:... |
Jimmy |
| NiCole Robinson | Gail |
| Tori Spelling Tori Spelling Victoria Davey "Tori" Spelling is an American actress. Spelling became known in the early 1990s for her role as Donna Martin on Beverly Hills, 90210. Spelling then had roles in a string of made-for-television films, such as A Friend to Die For and Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?... |
Jan (uncredited) |
| Benjamin John Parrillo Benjamin John Parrillo Benjamin John Parrillo is an American film and television actor, writer and director. As of 2007, Parrillo has written the scripts to two short films: Jolly Good Fellow in 2006 and A Moron, a Loser, and a Coffee Shop in 2007. He also directed A Moron and played leading characters in both movies... |
Tan Guy (uncredited) |
External links
- Review at Rotten TomatoesRotten TomatoesRotten Tomatoes is a website devoted to reviews, information, and news of films—widely known as a film review aggregator. Its name derives from the cliché of audiences throwing tomatoes and other vegetables at a poor stage performance...