Four candles
Encyclopedia
The Four Candles sketch
, originally titled The Hardware Shop or Annie Finkhouse is a sketch from the BBC
comedy The Two Ronnies
. Written by Ronnie Barker
under the pseudonym of Gerald Wiley, it was first broadcast on Saturday, 4 September 1976 on BBC1
. Word play
and homophones exhibit Barker's fascination with the English language
and are cleverly used to powerful comic effect in this sketch. A shopkeeper, played by Ronnie Corbett
, in a hardware shop becomes increasingly frustrated by a customer, played by Barker
, because he continuously misunderstands what he is requesting.
A script for the sketch in Ronnie Barker's handwriting was discovered on Antiques Roadshow
in 2006 and subsequently authenticated by Ronnie Corbett, who noted that while it was unusual for Barker to write in red ink, it was undoubtedly his handwriting. Corbett surmised that the script may have originally been donated to a charity fund-raiser, as Barker, being uncomfortable with appearing in public 'as himself', would often donate an item to charity events rather than appearing in person. The script was sold at auction for £48,500 in December 2007.
The sketch was inspired by a real incident in a hardware shop in Hayes
Middlesex
, details of which were submitted by the shop owners as possible sketch material.
shopkeeper
(Corbett) is confronted by a customer (Barker), who is holding a shopping list. The customer then requests what sounds like "four candles". The shopkeeper then takes out four candles, but the customer merely repeats his request and the shopkeeper is confused. The customer rephrases his request to reveal he in fact wanted "fork 'andles" (handles for "garden forks
.")
He then asks for plugs. To try to avoid a similar mistake the shopkeeper asks what kind and is told "a rubber one, bathroom". Believing that he is asking for rubber bath plugs
the shopkeeper gets out a box of them and asks for the size. The customer's answer is "thirteen amp" revealing he in fact wants an insulated electric plug.
He next asks for saw tips
. Confused, the shopkeeper asks if he wants an ointment for "sore tips". After a better explanation the shopkeeper explains they do not have any. This causes little to no frustration.
He then asks for "o's". This item causes the most frustration with the shopkeeper bringing a hoe
, a hose
("'Ose! I thought you said "'oes!") and pantyhose
to the counter before working out what he wants are the letter O for the garden gate - "'o's as in 'Mon Repose'". The box of garden gate letters is noticeably difficult to get to and put back, requiring a ladder.
When he asks for "peas" the shopkeeper, believing him to be asking for the letter P for a garden gate, is understandably annoyed as they are in the box he has just put back. The customer waits for him to get the box down before better explaining what he wants - tins of peas
. At this point the shopkeeper first suspects it may be a joke.
He then asks for "pumps" and the shopkeeper asks him to elaborate. The customer complies by asking for "foot pumps". The shopkeeper brings a pneumatic pump to the counter. The customer then reveals he wants "brown pumps
size nine". At this point the shopkeeper becomes convinced that the customer is playing a practical joke
on him.
After he asks for washers the shopkeeper, out of desperation and annoyance, recites a long list of possible items. The customer then explains he wants tap washers, almost the only type of washer that the shopkeeper failed to list.
At this point the shopkeeper, having had enough, snatches the shopping list the customer has been holding to complete the order without any confusions. However, he then seems to take offence at something written on the list. He decides he cannot tolerate the customer any longer and calls his assistant from the back to complete the order. The assistant reveals that the request was for billhook
s. The audience is intended to infer that the shopkeeper misread it as bollocks
or pillocks.
in 2005 that, instead of another male shop assistant coming out and replacing Corbett, a large lady would come out and say "Right then young man, what kind of knockers are you after?"
".
It was placed fifth on Channel 4's
list of the fifty greatest comedy sketches of all time.
It was ranked sixth most memorable television event in a survey of 2,000 viewers on behalf of digital TV service Freeview.
At Barker's memorial service in Westminster Abbey
, the cross was accompanied up the aisle by four candles instead of the usual two.
Sketch comedy
A sketch comedy consists of a series of short comedy scenes or vignettes, called "sketches," commonly between one and ten minutes long. Such sketches are performed by a group of comic actors or comedians, either on stage or through an audio and/or visual medium such as broadcasting...
, originally titled The Hardware Shop or Annie Finkhouse is a sketch from the BBC
BBC
The British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...
comedy The Two Ronnies
The Two Ronnies
The Two Ronnies is a British sketch show that aired on BBC1 from 1971 to 1987. It featured the double act of Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett, the "Two Ronnies" of the title.-Origins:...
. Written by Ronnie Barker
Ronnie Barker
Ronald William George "Ronnie" Barker, OBE was a British actor, comedian, writer, critic, broadcaster and businessman...
under the pseudonym of Gerald Wiley, it was first broadcast on Saturday, 4 September 1976 on BBC1
BBC One
BBC One is the flagship television channel of the British Broadcasting Corporation in the United Kingdom. It was launched on 2 November 1936 as the BBC Television Service, and was the world's first regular television service with a high level of image resolution...
. Word play
Word play
Word play or wordplay is a literary technique in which the words that are used become the main subject of the work, primarily for the purpose of intended effect or amusement...
and homophones exhibit Barker's fascination with the English language
English language
English is a West Germanic language that arose in the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms of England and spread into what was to become south-east Scotland under the influence of the Anglian medieval kingdom of Northumbria...
and are cleverly used to powerful comic effect in this sketch. A shopkeeper, played by Ronnie Corbett
Ronnie Corbett
Ronald Balfour "Ronnie" Corbett, OBE is a Scottish actor and comedian of Scottish and English parentage who had a long association with Ronnie Barker in the British television comedy series The Two Ronnies...
, in a hardware shop becomes increasingly frustrated by a customer, played by Barker
Ronnie Barker
Ronald William George "Ronnie" Barker, OBE was a British actor, comedian, writer, critic, broadcaster and businessman...
, because he continuously misunderstands what he is requesting.
A script for the sketch in Ronnie Barker's handwriting was discovered on Antiques Roadshow
Antiques Roadshow
Antiques Roadshow is a British television show in which antiques appraisers travel to various regions of the United Kingdom to appraise antiques brought in by local people. It has been running since 1979...
in 2006 and subsequently authenticated by Ronnie Corbett, who noted that while it was unusual for Barker to write in red ink, it was undoubtedly his handwriting. Corbett surmised that the script may have originally been donated to a charity fund-raiser, as Barker, being uncomfortable with appearing in public 'as himself', would often donate an item to charity events rather than appearing in person. The script was sold at auction for £48,500 in December 2007.
The sketch was inspired by a real incident in a hardware shop in Hayes
Hayes, Hillingdon
Hayes is a town in the London Borough of Hillingdon, West London. It is a suburban development situated west of Charing Cross. Hayes was developed in the late 19th and 20th centuries as an industrial locality to which residential districts were later added in order to house factory workers...
Middlesex
Middlesex
Middlesex is one of the historic counties of England and the second smallest by area. The low-lying county contained the wealthy and politically independent City of London on its southern boundary and was dominated by it from a very early time...
, details of which were submitted by the shop owners as possible sketch material.
Plot
In this sketch the hardwareBuilders hardware
Builders' hardware, or just builders hardware, is a group of metal hardware specifically used for protection, decoration, and convenience in buildings. Building products do not make any part of a building, rather they support them and make them work. It usually supports fixtures like windows,...
shopkeeper
Shopkeeper
A shopkeeper is an individual who owns a shop. Generally, shop employees are not shopkeepers, but are often incorrectly referred to as shopkeepers. Today, a shopkeeper is usually referred to as a manager, though this term could apply to larger firms .*In many south asian languages like Hindi, Urdu,...
(Corbett) is confronted by a customer (Barker), who is holding a shopping list. The customer then requests what sounds like "four candles". The shopkeeper then takes out four candles, but the customer merely repeats his request and the shopkeeper is confused. The customer rephrases his request to reveal he in fact wanted "fork 'andles" (handles for "garden forks
Garden fork
A garden fork, spading fork, digging fork or graip is a gardening implement, with a handle and several short, sturdy tines. It is used for loosening, lifting and turning over soil in gardening and farming...
.")
He then asks for plugs. To try to avoid a similar mistake the shopkeeper asks what kind and is told "a rubber one, bathroom". Believing that he is asking for rubber bath plugs
Plug (sanitation)
A plug in sanitation is an object that is used to close a drainage outlet firmly.The insertion of a plug into a drainage outlet allows the container to be filled with water or other fluids...
the shopkeeper gets out a box of them and asks for the size. The customer's answer is "thirteen amp" revealing he in fact wants an insulated electric plug.
He next asks for saw tips
Saw
A saw is a tool that uses a hard blade or wire with an abrasive edge to cut through softer materials. The cutting edge of a saw is either a serrated blade or an abrasive...
. Confused, the shopkeeper asks if he wants an ointment for "sore tips". After a better explanation the shopkeeper explains they do not have any. This causes little to no frustration.
He then asks for "o's". This item causes the most frustration with the shopkeeper bringing a hoe
Hoe (tool)
A hoe is an ancient and versatile agricultural tool used to move small amounts of soil. Common goals include weed control by agitating the surface of the soil around plants, piling soil around the base of plants , creating narrow furrows and shallow trenches for planting seeds and bulbs, to chop...
, a hose
Garden hose
A garden hose is a flexible tube used to carry water. There are a number of common attachments available for the end of the hose, such as sprayers and sprinklers...
("'Ose! I thought you said "'oes!") and pantyhose
Pantyhose
Pantyhose are sheer, close-fitting legwear, covering the wearer's body from the waist to the feet. Mostly considered to be a woman's and girl's garment, pantyhose appeared in the 1960s, and they provided a convenient alternative to stockings...
to the counter before working out what he wants are the letter O for the garden gate - "'o's as in 'Mon Repose'". The box of garden gate letters is noticeably difficult to get to and put back, requiring a ladder.
When he asks for "peas" the shopkeeper, believing him to be asking for the letter P for a garden gate, is understandably annoyed as they are in the box he has just put back. The customer waits for him to get the box down before better explaining what he wants - tins of peas
PEAS
P.E.A.S. is an acronym in artificial intelligence that stands for Performance, Environment, Actuators, Sensors.-Performance:Performance is a function that measures the quality of the actions the agent did....
. At this point the shopkeeper first suspects it may be a joke.
He then asks for "pumps" and the shopkeeper asks him to elaborate. The customer complies by asking for "foot pumps". The shopkeeper brings a pneumatic pump to the counter. The customer then reveals he wants "brown pumps
Plimsoll shoe
A plimsoll shoe, plimsoll, or plimsole is a British English word for a type of athletic shoe with a canvas upper and rubber sole, developed as beachwear in the 1830s by the Liverpool Rubber Company. The shoe was originally, and often still is in parts of the United Kingdom, called a 'sand shoe' and...
size nine". At this point the shopkeeper becomes convinced that the customer is playing a practical joke
Practical joke
A practical joke is a mischievous trick played on someone, typically causing the victim to experience embarrassment, indignity, or discomfort. Practical jokes differ from confidence tricks in that the victim finds out, or is let in on the joke, rather than being fooled into handing over money or...
on him.
After he asks for washers the shopkeeper, out of desperation and annoyance, recites a long list of possible items. The customer then explains he wants tap washers, almost the only type of washer that the shopkeeper failed to list.
At this point the shopkeeper, having had enough, snatches the shopping list the customer has been holding to complete the order without any confusions. However, he then seems to take offence at something written on the list. He decides he cannot tolerate the customer any longer and calls his assistant from the back to complete the order. The assistant reveals that the request was for billhook
Billhook
The billhook is a traditional cutting tool known and used throughout the world, and very common in the wine-growing countries of Europe, used widely in agriculture and forestry The billhook (also bill hook – although this more usually refers to either a metal or plastic hook used to hold bills,...
s. The audience is intended to infer that the shopkeeper misread it as bollocks
Bollocks
"Bollocks" is a word of Anglo-Saxon origin, meaning "testicles". The word is often used figuratively in British English and Hiberno-English, as a noun to mean "nonsense", an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, or an adjective to mean "poor quality" or "useless"...
or pillocks.
Variation
Barker later rewrote the ending of the sketch, citing the reason as dissatisfaction with the obscurity and coarseness of the bill-hooks reference. He revealed in the last episode of The Two Ronnies SketchbookThe Two Ronnies Sketchbook
The Two Ronnies Sketchbook was a collection of classic sketches from the BBC comedy series The Two Ronnies, with newly filmed introductions by the stars, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett...
in 2005 that, instead of another male shop assistant coming out and replacing Corbett, a large lady would come out and say "Right then young man, what kind of knockers are you after?"
Reception
The sketch is widely held to be one of the most iconic sketches of the Two Ronnies. It was voted by the British public as the funniest comedy moment of the seventies in UKTV Gold's "When Were We Funniest?When Were We Funniest?
When Were We Funniest? is a G.O.L.D. documentary series broadcast in 2008.-Format:G.O.L.D. wanted to ask the public which decade of British television they thought was the funniest, the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s or 2000s. Before the public voted G.O.L.D...
".
It was placed fifth on Channel 4's
Channel 4
Channel 4 is a British public-service television broadcaster which began working on 2 November 1982. Although largely commercially self-funded, it is ultimately publicly owned; originally a subsidiary of the Independent Broadcasting Authority , the station is now owned and operated by the Channel...
list of the fifty greatest comedy sketches of all time.
It was ranked sixth most memorable television event in a survey of 2,000 viewers on behalf of digital TV service Freeview.
At Barker's memorial service in Westminster Abbey
Westminster Abbey
The Collegiate Church of St Peter at Westminster, popularly known as Westminster Abbey, is a large, mainly Gothic church, in the City of Westminster, London, United Kingdom, located just to the west of the Palace of Westminster. It is the traditional place of coronation and burial site for English,...
, the cross was accompanied up the aisle by four candles instead of the usual two.