Hardware Wars
Encyclopedia
Hardware Wars is a short film parody
of the classic science fiction
film Star Wars
. The thirteen-minute film, which premiered in theatres only seven months after Star Wars, consisted of little more than inside jokes and visual pun
s that heavily depended upon audience familiarity with the original. The theme song is Richard Wagner
's famous "Ride of the Valkyries
". The tagline was "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss three bucks goodbye."
from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz
) and Arty-Deco (a canister vacuum cleaner), escape from the evil Empire. After launching from the ship (a cassette player) in an escape pod (a cassette tape), they land on a desert planet (a watermelon). They are found by young Fluke Starbucker, who finds a video message saved on Arty-Deco. It is a loop of Princess Anne-Droid saying "Help me Augie Ben Doggie, you're my only hope." Upon meeting Augie "Ben" Doggie (of the venerable Red-Eye Knights), Fluke receives his father's lightsaber (a flashlight). After tricking the Imperial Steam Trooper guards (steam cabinets) to let them into the city, they reach a cantina, which Fluke describes as "too weird". The cantina is a country and western bar, where they meet space renegade Ham Salad and Chewchilla (played by a puppet that resembles Cookie Monster
of Sesame Street
fame). Meanwhile, the villainous Darph Nader is interrogating the princess. When she refuses to talk (mainly because she can't understand him; his speech is muffled by his welder's mask), he destroys her peaceful home planet, Basketball (the name speaks for itself).
After a light-speed chase, Fluke, Ham, Augie, and the rest are sucked into the enemy base (a waffle iron). After they rescue the princess, Augie Ben Doggie chooses to stay behind to battle Darph Nader (in response, he is derogatorily called a "martyr
" by the rest of the group). Their spaceship is next assaulted by bits of tin-foil trash, which makes Chewchilla jittery until he spies Princess Anne-Droid's hair whorls, which are cinnamon roll
s worn on the sides of her head. Taking after the Cookie Monster, he eats one as the Princess looks on in disgust.
The last scene of the movie involves Fluke flying in a squad of spaceships (bottle opener
s), presumably to attack the waffle iron. On his way, Fluke is told to "trust your feelings" by the ghostly voice of Augie (who we assume has died in the fight with the villain). Because this short film is a parody of a "coming attractions" teaser trailer
, the destruction of the enemy base is not shown, nor is there any victory celebration. The movie ends with "May the Farce be with you", in mockery of the famous Star Wars line. At the very end of the credits, we are told the movie was "filmed on location in space", followed by the statement "no animals were killed in the making of this film", reflecting the legal statement that was beginning to appear in film credits at that time.
and produced by Michael Wiese. It was structured as a mock-movie trailer, and Fosselius even secured narration from veteran voice-over artist Paul Frees
, who provided the voice work for the original Star Wars trailers. Fosselius capitalised on his budget limitations by using deliberately ridiculous household objects as props; spaceships were represented with such items as steam irons, toasters and cassette recorders, and the lightsaber
of "Fluke Starbucker" was a flashlight. The characters, played by actors who were just as low-budget as the props, were also parodied in name and appearance; for example, Chewbacca
the wookiee
was replaced by "Chewchilla the Wookiee Monster," an obvious Cookie Monster
puppet, dyed brown, and Darth Vader
's counterpart, "Darph Nader," wore a welding helmet that distorted his voice so much that no one could understand anything he said. Other notable characters include "Ham Salad," "Augie Ben Doggie
," "Princess Anne-Droid," and the drones, "4-Q-2" (who resembles the Tin Woodman
from the Wizard of Oz
) and "Arty Deco
" (an antique canister vacuum cleaner).
1,000,000; considering its paltry US$8,000 budget, its profit ratio was much better than Star Wars. George Lucas
said in a 1999 interview on the UK's The Big Breakfast
television show that Hardware Wars was his favorite Star Wars parody.
In 2003, the film was honored by Lucasfilm
when it was given the Pioneer Award at that year's Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards
. In August 2010, Time
magazine listed it as one of the Top 10 Star Wars fanfilms.
release Hardware Wars, and Other Film Farces, which also included another Fosselius parody, Porklips Now
. The tape also included Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind
and the animation classic Bambi Meets Godzilla
.
To spoof the "Special Edition" re-release of Star Wars in 1997, which included additional scenes and more advanced digital special effects, Hardware Wars was re-released on VHS as a twenty-minute "Special Edition," with new digital "special defects." Fosselius did not participate or approve of this release, as noted in a disclaimer on the packaging.
The film was released on DVD
in 2002 in its original form, with commentary tracks and other special features.
It was later released on DVD again by Apprehensive Films
for its 30th Anniversary. This release is approved and licensed from Ernie Fosselius.
Parody
A parody , in current usage, is an imitative work created to mock, comment on, or trivialise an original work, its subject, author, style, or some other target, by means of humorous, satiric or ironic imitation...
of the classic science fiction
Science fiction
Science fiction is a genre of fiction dealing with imaginary but more or less plausible content such as future settings, futuristic science and technology, space travel, aliens, and paranormal abilities...
film Star Wars
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, originally released as Star Wars, is a 1977 American epic space opera film, written and directed by George Lucas. It is the first of six films released in the Star Wars saga: two subsequent films complete the original trilogy, while a prequel trilogy completes the...
. The thirteen-minute film, which premiered in theatres only seven months after Star Wars, consisted of little more than inside jokes and visual pun
Visual pun
A visual pun is a pun involving an image or images .Visual puns in which the image is at odds with the inscription are common in Dutch gable stones as well as in cartoons such as Lost Consonants or The Far Side...
s that heavily depended upon audience familiarity with the original. The theme song is Richard Wagner
Richard Wagner
Wilhelm Richard Wagner was a German composer, conductor, theatre director, philosopher, music theorist, poet, essayist and writer primarily known for his operas...
's famous "Ride of the Valkyries
Ride of the Valkyries
The Ride of the Valkyries is the popular term for the beginning of Act III of Die Walküre, the second of the four operas by Richard Wagner that comprise Der Ring des Nibelungen. The main theme of the Ride, the leitmotif labelled Walkürenritt, was first written down by the composer on 23 July 1851...
". The tagline was "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss three bucks goodbye."
Synopsis
The film begins with the text "Meanwhile — in another part of the galaxy — later that same day". A household steam iron flies through space, fleeing a toaster, which fires toast at it. Two robots named 4-Q-2 (who looks like the Tin ManTin Woodman
The Tin Woodman, sometimes referred to as the Tin Man or the Tin Woodsman , is a character in the fictional Land of Oz created by American author L. Frank Baum...
from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz
The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)
The Wizard of Oz is a 1939 American musical fantasy film produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. It was directed primarily by Victor Fleming. Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson and Edgar Allan Woolf received credit for the screenplay, but there were uncredited contributions by others. The lyrics for the songs...
) and Arty-Deco (a canister vacuum cleaner), escape from the evil Empire. After launching from the ship (a cassette player) in an escape pod (a cassette tape), they land on a desert planet (a watermelon). They are found by young Fluke Starbucker, who finds a video message saved on Arty-Deco. It is a loop of Princess Anne-Droid saying "Help me Augie Ben Doggie, you're my only hope." Upon meeting Augie "Ben" Doggie (of the venerable Red-Eye Knights), Fluke receives his father's lightsaber (a flashlight). After tricking the Imperial Steam Trooper guards (steam cabinets) to let them into the city, they reach a cantina, which Fluke describes as "too weird". The cantina is a country and western bar, where they meet space renegade Ham Salad and Chewchilla (played by a puppet that resembles Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster is a Muppet on the children's television show Sesame Street. He is best known for his voracious appetite and his famous eating phrases: "Me want cookie!", "Me eat cookie!", and "Om nom nom nom" . He often eats anything and everything, including danishes, donuts, lettuce, apples,...
of Sesame Street
Sesame Street
Sesame Street has undergone significant changes in its history. According to writer Michael Davis, by the mid-1970s the show had become "an American institution". The cast and crew expanded during this time, including the hiring of women in the crew and additional minorities in the cast. The...
fame). Meanwhile, the villainous Darph Nader is interrogating the princess. When she refuses to talk (mainly because she can't understand him; his speech is muffled by his welder's mask), he destroys her peaceful home planet, Basketball (the name speaks for itself).
After a light-speed chase, Fluke, Ham, Augie, and the rest are sucked into the enemy base (a waffle iron). After they rescue the princess, Augie Ben Doggie chooses to stay behind to battle Darph Nader (in response, he is derogatorily called a "martyr
Martyr
A martyr is somebody who suffers persecution and death for refusing to renounce, or accept, a belief or cause, usually religious.-Meaning:...
" by the rest of the group). Their spaceship is next assaulted by bits of tin-foil trash, which makes Chewchilla jittery until he spies Princess Anne-Droid's hair whorls, which are cinnamon roll
Cinnamon roll
A cinnamon roll is a sweet pastry served commonly in Northern Europe and North America. It consists of a rolled sheet of yeast dough onto which a cinnamon and sugar mixture is sprinkled over a thin coat of butter...
s worn on the sides of her head. Taking after the Cookie Monster, he eats one as the Princess looks on in disgust.
The last scene of the movie involves Fluke flying in a squad of spaceships (bottle opener
Bottle opener
A bottle opener is a device that enables the removal of metal bottle caps from bottles. More generally, it might be thought to include corkscrews used to remove cork or plastic stoppers from wine bottles....
s), presumably to attack the waffle iron. On his way, Fluke is told to "trust your feelings" by the ghostly voice of Augie (who we assume has died in the fight with the villain). Because this short film is a parody of a "coming attractions" teaser trailer
Teaser trailer
A teaser campaign is an advertising campaign which typically consists of a series of small, cryptic, challenging advertisements that anticipate a larger, full-blown campaign for a product launch or otherwise important event. These advertisements are called "teasers" or "teaser ads"...
, the destruction of the enemy base is not shown, nor is there any victory celebration. The movie ends with "May the Farce be with you", in mockery of the famous Star Wars line. At the very end of the credits, we are told the movie was "filmed on location in space", followed by the statement "no animals were killed in the making of this film", reflecting the legal statement that was beginning to appear in film credits at that time.
Production
Hardware Wars was written and directed by San Francisco native Ernie FosseliusErnie Fosselius
Ernie Fosselius is an American filmmaker who has largely stayed out of the public eye. He is best known for his satirical spoofs of popular films, including the classic Star Wars parody Hardware Wars.-Film career:...
and produced by Michael Wiese. It was structured as a mock-movie trailer, and Fosselius even secured narration from veteran voice-over artist Paul Frees
Paul Frees
Paul Frees was an American voice actor and character actor.-Biography:He was born Solomon Hersh Frees in Chicago...
, who provided the voice work for the original Star Wars trailers. Fosselius capitalised on his budget limitations by using deliberately ridiculous household objects as props; spaceships were represented with such items as steam irons, toasters and cassette recorders, and the lightsaber
Lightsaber
A lightsaber is a fictional weapon in the Star Wars universe, a "laser sword." It consists of a polished metal hilt which projects a blade of light about 1.33 metres long. The lightsaber is the signature weapon of the Jedi order and their Sith counterparts, both of whom can use them for close...
of "Fluke Starbucker" was a flashlight. The characters, played by actors who were just as low-budget as the props, were also parodied in name and appearance; for example, Chewbacca
Chewbacca
Chewbacca, also known as Chewie, is a character in the Star Wars franchise, portrayed by Peter Mayhew. In the series' narrative chronology, he appears in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Episode IV: A New Hope, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back and Episode VI: Return of the Jedi...
the wookiee
Wookiee
Wookiees are a species of bipeds in the Star Wars universe. The most notable Wookiee is Chewbacca, a companion to Han Solo.-Inspiration:...
was replaced by "Chewchilla the Wookiee Monster," an obvious Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster is a Muppet on the children's television show Sesame Street. He is best known for his voracious appetite and his famous eating phrases: "Me want cookie!", "Me eat cookie!", and "Om nom nom nom" . He often eats anything and everything, including danishes, donuts, lettuce, apples,...
puppet, dyed brown, and Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Darth Vader is a central character in the Star Wars saga, appearing as one of the main antagonists in the original trilogy and as the main protagonist in the prequel trilogy....
's counterpart, "Darph Nader," wore a welding helmet that distorted his voice so much that no one could understand anything he said. Other notable characters include "Ham Salad," "Augie Ben Doggie
Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy
Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy are Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters who debuted on The Quick Draw McGraw Show and appeared in their own segment of that show.-Summary:The segments centered around the misadventures of a dachshund father-and-son team...
," "Princess Anne-Droid," and the drones, "4-Q-2" (who resembles the Tin Woodman
Tin Woodman
The Tin Woodman, sometimes referred to as the Tin Man or the Tin Woodsman , is a character in the fictional Land of Oz created by American author L. Frank Baum...
from the Wizard of Oz
The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)
The Wizard of Oz is a 1939 American musical fantasy film produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. It was directed primarily by Victor Fleming. Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson and Edgar Allan Woolf received credit for the screenplay, but there were uncredited contributions by others. The lyrics for the songs...
) and "Arty Deco
Art Deco
Art deco , or deco, is an eclectic artistic and design style that began in Paris in the 1920s and flourished internationally throughout the 1930s, into the World War II era. The style influenced all areas of design, including architecture and interior design, industrial design, fashion and...
" (an antique canister vacuum cleaner).
Reception
Hardware Wars won over 15 first place film festival awards, including the award for Most Popular Short Film at the Chicago Film Festival. It is considered to be the most profitable short film of all time, grossing US$United States dollar
The United States dollar , also referred to as the American dollar, is the official currency of the United States of America. It is divided into 100 smaller units called cents or pennies....
1,000,000; considering its paltry US$8,000 budget, its profit ratio was much better than Star Wars. George Lucas
George Lucas
George Walton Lucas, Jr. is an American film producer, screenwriter, and director, and entrepreneur. He is the founder, chairman and chief executive of Lucasfilm. He is best known as the creator of the space opera franchise Star Wars and the archaeologist-adventurer character Indiana Jones...
said in a 1999 interview on the UK's The Big Breakfast
The Big Breakfast
The Big Breakfast was a British light entertainment television show shown on Channel 4 and S4C each weekday morning from 28 September 1992 until 29 March 2002 during which period 2,482 shows were produced. The Big Breakfast was produced by Planet 24, the production company co-owned by former...
television show that Hardware Wars was his favorite Star Wars parody.
In 2003, the film was honored by Lucasfilm
Lucasfilm
Lucasfilm Limited is an American film production company founded by George Lucas in 1971, based in San Francisco, California. Lucas is the company's current chairman and CEO, and Micheline Chau is the president and COO....
when it was given the Pioneer Award at that year's Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards
The Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards
The Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards is an annual contest put forth by Lucasfilm and AtomFilms to showcase and acknowledge the growing genre of fan films made by, for, and about fans of the Star Wars saga. The inaugural contest in 2002 was the first time Lucasfilm had officially sanctioned the...
. In August 2010, Time
Time (magazine)
Time is an American news magazine. A European edition is published from London. Time Europe covers the Middle East, Africa and, since 2003, Latin America. An Asian edition is based in Hong Kong...
magazine listed it as one of the Top 10 Star Wars fanfilms.
Video releases
Hardware Wars had originally been available on film from Pyramid Films. It was first made available commercially on home video with the Warner Home VideoWarner Home Video
Warner Home Video is the home video unit of Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc., itself part of Time Warner. It was founded in 1978 as WCI Home Video . The company launched in the United States with twenty films on VHS and Betamax videocassettes in late 1979...
release Hardware Wars, and Other Film Farces, which also included another Fosselius parody, Porklips Now
Porklips Now
Porklips Now is a short, low budget parody film, made in 1980 by the American director Ernie Fosselius, based on the 1979 motion picture Apocalypse Now....
. The tape also included Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind
Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind
Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind is an award-winning short film spoof of the classic science fiction film Close Encounters of the Third Kind.-Plot:...
and the animation classic Bambi Meets Godzilla
Bambi Meets Godzilla
Bambi Meets Godzilla is the title of the cartoon created entirely by Marv Newland. Less than two minutes long, the film is a classic of animation—#38 in the book The 50 Greatest Cartoons ....
.
To spoof the "Special Edition" re-release of Star Wars in 1997, which included additional scenes and more advanced digital special effects, Hardware Wars was re-released on VHS as a twenty-minute "Special Edition," with new digital "special defects." Fosselius did not participate or approve of this release, as noted in a disclaimer on the packaging.
The film was released on DVD
DVD
A DVD is an optical disc storage media format, invented and developed by Philips, Sony, Toshiba, and Panasonic in 1995. DVDs offer higher storage capacity than Compact Discs while having the same dimensions....
in 2002 in its original form, with commentary tracks and other special features.
It was later released on DVD again by Apprehensive Films
Apprehensive Films
Apprehensive Films is an independent American film production and distribution company. Established in 1997 as a production company, Apprehensive Films' main focus was low-budget Grindhouse-inspired films shot in Super 8 mm film and 16 mm film. In 2006, Apprehensive Films became a DVD distributor...
for its 30th Anniversary. This release is approved and licensed from Ernie Fosselius.
External links
- HardwareWarsDVD.com — Official site for Hardware Wars and the films of Ernie Fosselius
- http://www.thegrindhouse.net/