Helicopter parent
Encyclopedia
Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, although Dr. Haim Ginott
mentions a teen who complains, "Mother hovers over me like a helicopter..." on page 18 of the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager published in 1969. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopter
s, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia
, this phenomenon is known as curling
parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children. It is also called "overparenting". Parents try to resolve their child's problems, and try to stop them coming to harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations.
Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own. As the children of "helicopter parents" graduate and move into the job market, personnel and human resources
departments are becoming acquainted with the phenomenon as well. Some have reported that parents have even begun intruding on salary negotiations.
Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay coined and defined "helicopter parents" very precisely in a section on "ineffective parenting styles" in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.
It gained wide currency when American college
administrator
s began using it in the early 2000s as the Millennial Generation began reaching college age. Their Baby Boomer
parents in turn earned notoriety for practices such as calling their children each morning to wake them up for class and complaining to their professor
s about grades the children had received. Some of these parents had chosen their child's college and hired consultant
s to help fine-tune the application process. Summer camp
officials have also reported similar behavior from parents.
The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called "the world's longest umbilical cord
." Parents, for their part, point to rising college tuition
s, saying they are just protecting their investment
or acting like any other consumer
.
The phenomenon is described in the British novel "May Contain Nuts" by John O'Farrell. The novel was subsequently made into a television show. In the novel, a child's mother poses as her daughter in order to take her daughter's upper school entrance exams—since she doesn't trust her daughter to do well enough on the examinations herself. The novel nicely illustrates the paradox of a parent wishing to help their child to achieve success while simultaneously undermining their child's self-esteem through preventing them from either achieving independence or experiencing the consequences of their own actions. In Britain, officials have been contemplating changes to their policies regarding the process of applying to university—largely due to rising numbers of helicopter parents.
The American website "collegeconfidential" also provides many venues for parents to be closely involved in their children's college application processes and frequently includes discussions of the phenomenon of helicopter parenting—with parents debating whether it is appropriate to be involved in helping an adult child select university classes to take, whether parents should expect to communicate with university professors or staff to resolve problems like textbook availability or roommate issues, and whether parents should then go on to be involved in decisions regarding postgraduate studies such as whether or not to earn a Master's or Doctorate degree.
and a disproportionate paranoia about risks covered in media reports such as pedophilia
. Children are encouraged to spend more time indoors, for example watching television, instead of exploring outdoors. The longer term risk
s of these practises, such as obesity, bad health and poor risk assessment
are accepted because of the perceived child protection advantages. It also deepens generational segregation, encouraging children to view adults as potential abusers.
Institutions such as schools often follow similar risk-averse principles, keeping children in the classroom for more time and forbidding even those activities previously considered a normal part of life. In the longer term, the children remain inexperienced both in dealing with the real world, and in making decisions.
" from Carl Honoré's book Under Pressure, and the books The Idle Parent and Free-Range Kids are broadly equivalent. Forest kindergartens are common in Scandinavia and growing in other countries such as Scotland. Outdoor education
or play is gradually gaining popularity.
Haim Ginott
Haim G. Ginott was a school teacher in Israel, a child psychologist and psychotherapist and a parent educator. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children that are still taught today. His book, Between Parent and Child, stayed on the best seller list for over a year and is still...
mentions a teen who complains, "Mother hovers over me like a helicopter..." on page 18 of the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager published in 1969. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopter
Helicopter
A helicopter is a type of rotorcraft in which lift and thrust are supplied by one or more engine-driven rotors. This allows the helicopter to take off and land vertically, to hover, and to fly forwards, backwards, and laterally...
s, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia
Scandinavia
Scandinavia is a cultural, historical and ethno-linguistic region in northern Europe that includes the three kingdoms of Denmark, Norway and Sweden, characterized by their common ethno-cultural heritage and language. Modern Norway and Sweden proper are situated on the Scandinavian Peninsula,...
, this phenomenon is known as curling
Curling
Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area. It is related to bowls, boule and shuffleboard. Two teams, each of four players, take turns sliding heavy, polished granite stones, also called "rocks", across the ice curling sheet towards the house, a...
parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children. It is also called "overparenting". Parents try to resolve their child's problems, and try to stop them coming to harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations.
Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own. As the children of "helicopter parents" graduate and move into the job market, personnel and human resources
Human resources
Human resources is a term used to describe the individuals who make up the workforce of an organization, although it is also applied in labor economics to, for example, business sectors or even whole nations...
departments are becoming acquainted with the phenomenon as well. Some have reported that parents have even begun intruding on salary negotiations.
Origins
The term "helicopter parents" is a pejorative expression for parents that has been widely used in the media; however, there has been little academic research into the phenomenon.Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay coined and defined "helicopter parents" very precisely in a section on "ineffective parenting styles" in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.
It gained wide currency when American college
College
A college is an educational institution or a constituent part of an educational institution. Usage varies in English-speaking nations...
administrator
Academic administration
An academic administration is a branch of university or college employees responsible for the maintenance and supervision of the institution and separate from the faculty or academics, although some personnel may have joint responsibilities...
s began using it in the early 2000s as the Millennial Generation began reaching college age. Their Baby Boomer
Baby boomer
A baby boomer is a person who was born during the demographic Post-World War II baby boom and who grew up during the period between 1946 and 1964. The term "baby boomer" is sometimes used in a cultural context. Therefore, it is impossible to achieve broad consensus of a precise definition, even...
parents in turn earned notoriety for practices such as calling their children each morning to wake them up for class and complaining to their professor
Professor
A professor is a scholarly teacher; the precise meaning of the term varies by country. Literally, professor derives from Latin as a "person who professes" being usually an expert in arts or sciences; a teacher of high rank...
s about grades the children had received. Some of these parents had chosen their child's college and hired consultant
Consultant
A consultant is a professional who provides professional or expert advice in a particular area such as management, accountancy, the environment, entertainment, technology, law , human resources, marketing, emergency management, food production, medicine, finance, life management, economics, public...
s to help fine-tune the application process. Summer camp
Summer camp
Summer camp is a supervised program for children or teenagers conducted during the summer months in some countries. Children and adolescents who attend summer camp are known as campers....
officials have also reported similar behavior from parents.
The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called "the world's longest umbilical cord
Umbilical cord
In placental mammals, the umbilical cord is the connecting cord from the developing embryo or fetus to the placenta...
." Parents, for their part, point to rising college tuition
Tuition
Tuition payments, known primarily as tuition in American English and as tuition fees in British English, Canadian English, Australian English, New Zealand English and Indian English, refers to a fee charged for educational instruction during higher education.Tuition payments are charged by...
s, saying they are just protecting their investment
Investment
Investment has different meanings in finance and economics. Finance investment is putting money into something with the expectation of gain, that upon thorough analysis, has a high degree of security for the principal amount, as well as security of return, within an expected period of time...
or acting like any other consumer
Consumer
Consumer is a broad label for any individuals or households that use goods generated within the economy. The concept of a consumer occurs in different contexts, so that the usage and significance of the term may vary.-Economics and marketing:...
.
The phenomenon is described in the British novel "May Contain Nuts" by John O'Farrell. The novel was subsequently made into a television show. In the novel, a child's mother poses as her daughter in order to take her daughter's upper school entrance exams—since she doesn't trust her daughter to do well enough on the examinations herself. The novel nicely illustrates the paradox of a parent wishing to help their child to achieve success while simultaneously undermining their child's self-esteem through preventing them from either achieving independence or experiencing the consequences of their own actions. In Britain, officials have been contemplating changes to their policies regarding the process of applying to university—largely due to rising numbers of helicopter parents.
The American website "collegeconfidential" also provides many venues for parents to be closely involved in their children's college application processes and frequently includes discussions of the phenomenon of helicopter parenting—with parents debating whether it is appropriate to be involved in helping an adult child select university classes to take, whether parents should expect to communicate with university professors or staff to resolve problems like textbook availability or roommate issues, and whether parents should then go on to be involved in decisions regarding postgraduate studies such as whether or not to earn a Master's or Doctorate degree.
Risk aversion
Risk management is a key skill for everybody, but which some children are denied; helicopter parents often restrict their children's activities. Alongside the constant supervision of children is extreme risk aversionRisk aversion
Risk aversion is a concept in psychology, economics, and finance, based on the behavior of humans while exposed to uncertainty....
and a disproportionate paranoia about risks covered in media reports such as pedophilia
Pedophilia
As a medical diagnosis, pedophilia is defined as a psychiatric disorder in adults or late adolescents typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children...
. Children are encouraged to spend more time indoors, for example watching television, instead of exploring outdoors. The longer term risk
Risk
Risk is the potential that a chosen action or activity will lead to a loss . The notion implies that a choice having an influence on the outcome exists . Potential losses themselves may also be called "risks"...
s of these practises, such as obesity, bad health and poor risk assessment
Risk assessment
Risk assessment is a step in a risk management procedure. Risk assessment is the determination of quantitative or qualitative value of risk related to a concrete situation and a recognized threat...
are accepted because of the perceived child protection advantages. It also deepens generational segregation, encouraging children to view adults as potential abusers.
Institutions such as schools often follow similar risk-averse principles, keeping children in the classroom for more time and forbidding even those activities previously considered a normal part of life. In the longer term, the children remain inexperienced both in dealing with the real world, and in making decisions.
Alternatives
To counter the risk aversion, some parents propose stepping back and allowing children to do their own thing. The term "slow parentingSlow parenting
Slow parenting is a parenting style in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace...
" from Carl Honoré's book Under Pressure, and the books The Idle Parent and Free-Range Kids are broadly equivalent. Forest kindergartens are common in Scandinavia and growing in other countries such as Scotland. Outdoor education
Outdoor education
Outdoor education usually refers to organized learning that takes place in the outdoors. Outdoor education programs sometimes involve residential or journey-based experiences in which students participate in a variety of adventurous challenges in the form of outdoor activities such as hiking,...
or play is gradually gaining popularity.
External links
- At WordSpy
- August 2005 Wall Street Journal article on helicopter parents at colleges.
- Roots, wings & helicopters from USA TodayUSA TodayUSA Today is a national American daily newspaper published by the Gannett Company. It was founded by Al Neuharth. The newspaper vies with The Wall Street Journal for the position of having the widest circulation of any newspaper in the United States, something it previously held since 2003...
- Helicopter Parents Keep Tabs from The Minaret (student newspaper)
- Does It End? from Connecticut Magazine
- Don't Be a Helicopter Parent! from Katu.com