Holding the Man - AbsoluteAstronomy.com

Holding the Man is the best-selling memoir by the Australian writer, actor, and activist Timothy Conigrave

Timothy Conigrave

Tim Conigrave was an Australian actor, writer, and activist. He was born in Melbourne, and after attending the Jesuit Xavier College and Monash University he moved to Sydney to study at the National Institute of Dramatic Art , from which he graduated in 1984...

. It was adapted for the stage by Tommy Murphy in 2006, and has become one of the most successful Australian stage productions in recent years.

Holding the Man was published in February 1995 by Penguin Books

Penguin Books

Penguin Books is a publisher founded in 1935 by Sir Allen Lane and V.K. Krishna Menon. Penguin revolutionised publishing in the 1930s through its high quality, inexpensive paperbacks, sold through Woolworths and other high street stores for sixpence. Penguin's success demonstrated that large...

in Australia

Australia

Australia , officially the Commonwealth of Australia, is a country in the Southern Hemisphere comprising the mainland of the Australian continent, the island of Tasmania, and numerous smaller islands in the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It is the world's sixth-largest country by total area...

just a few months after Conigrave's death, and has since been published in Spain and North America. It has been reprinted thirteen times. Holding the Man won the United Nations

United Nations

The United Nations is an international organization whose stated aims are facilitating cooperation in international law, international security, economic development, social progress, human rights, and achievement of world peace...

Human Rights Award for Non-Fiction in 1995 and was listed as one of the "100 Favourite Australian Books" by the Australian Society of Authors for its 40th anniversary in 2003.

Holding the Man tells the story of Tim's life, and centrally of his relationship with his lover of fifteen years, John Caleo. They met in the mid-1970s at Xavier College

Xavier College

Xavier College is a Roman Catholic, day and boarding school predominantly for boys, with its main campus located in Kew, an eastern suburb of Melbourne, Victoria, Australia....

, an all-boys Jesuit Catholic school in Melbourne

Melbourne

Melbourne is the capital and most populous city in the state of Victoria, and the second most populous city in Australia. The Melbourne City Centre is the hub of the greater metropolitan area and the Census statistical division—of which "Melbourne" is the common name. As of June 2009, the greater...

.

The term "holding the man" comes from Australian rules football

Australian rules football

Australian rules football, officially known as Australian football, also called football, Aussie rules or footy is a sport played between two teams of 22 players on either...

- it is a transgression that incurs a penalty. Caleo was a star footballer at high school - captain of the football team - winning the Public Schools Best and Fairest trophy in 1976. He was also an avid supporter of the Essendon Football Club

Essendon Football Club

The Essendon Football Club, nicknamed The Bombers, is an Australian rules football club which plays in the Australian Football League...

, one of the reasons Conigrave appropriated the term as the book's title.

Plot

In 1976, Timothy Conigrave fell in love with the captain of the football team, John Caleo. So began a relationship that was to last for 15 years, a love affair that weathered disapproval, separation and, ultimately death. With honesty and insight, 'Holding the Man' explores the highs and lows of their life partnership: the intimacy, constraints, temptations, and the strength of heart both men had to find when they tested positive to HIV.

The story opens at Kostka, Xavier's junior [preparatory] school in Melbourne. Here, the author begins to sexually experiment with other boys, and comes to the realisation that he is gay. Several years later, on his first day at Xavier College (the Jesuit senior school), Conigrave sees John Caleo for the first time.

On the far side of the crush I noticed a boy. I saw the body of a man with an open, gentle face: such softness within that masculinity. He was beautiful, calm. I was transfixed. He wasn't talking, just listening to his friends with his hands in his pockets, smiling. What was it about his face?
He became aware that I was looking at him and greeted me with a lift of his eyebrows. I returned the gesture and then looked away, pretending something had caught my attention. But I kept sneaking looks. It's his eyelashes. They're unbelievable. [31]

The two form a friendship, and at the suggestion of Pepe, one of Tim's female friends, John is invited to a dinner party at Tim's house. The girls know Tim is in love with John, and 'pass a kiss' around the table for his benefit.

Juliet kissed Pepe. Their kiss lingered. Pepe came up for air. 'Tim'. As I kissed her she opened her mouth. Her tongue was exploring mine. I felt trapped. I was afraid to stop kissing her because I knew what was coming. I don't want John to think I'm enjoying this. Before I knew it my hand was on his knee, as if to let him know it was him I wanted. His hand settled on mine as Pepe continued kissing me. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was a virgin being led to the volcano to be sacrificed.
I turned to face him. He shut his eyes and pursed his lips. Everything went slow motion as I pressed my mouth against his. His gentle warm lips filled my head. My body dissolved and I was only lips pressed against the flesh of his. I would have stayed there for the rest of my life, but I was suddenly worried about freaking him out and I pulled away. I caught sight of his face - fresh, with chocolate-brown eyes, and a small, almost undetectable smile. [74]

A few weeks later, Tim rings John at home, and asks "John Caleo, will you go round with me?" The reply is an unambiguous "Yep".

The two graduate from High School in 1977, Tim attending Monash University and John studying to be a chiropractor at College. Despite parental opposition, Conigrave's eventual move to Sydney and NIDA, and youthful experimentation and infidelities, the relationship continues.

Tragically, when Tim and John finally move in together in Sydney and are genuinely happy, they are diagnosed with HIV. The year is 1985.

Until 1990, the men have relatively mild symptoms. Sadly, in the Autumn of 1991, John begins to rapidly deteriorate, suffering from lymphoma. Tim cares for his partner, whilst nursing symptoms of his own. The misery of HIV/AIDS is laid bare before the reader, with Conigrave sparing nothing in detailing the cruel progression of the disease. He watches as his lover's once-strong body is ravaged. The reader helplessly looks on as the story moves to its devastating conclusion.

At Christmas, in 1991, John is admitted to the Fairfield Hospital in Melbourne. A month later, on Australia Day 1992, he dies of an AIDS-related illness, with his lover by his side, gently stroking his hair. Nearly three years later, shortly after finishing 'Holding the Man', Tim Conigrave passes away in Sydney.

The final passages of the book are some of its most poignant:

I guess the hardest thing is having so much love for you and it somehow not being returned. I develop crushes all the time, but that is just misdirected need for you. You are a hole in my life, a black hole. Anything I place there cannot be returned. I miss you terribly. Ci vedremo lassu, angelo. [286].

Spanish and North American editions

The book was published in Spanish in 2002 under the title Amando En Tiempos De Silencio (Loving in the Days of Silence). (ISBN 84-95346-24-9).

The United States and Canadian edition of Holding the Man (with an afterword by Tommy Murphy) was released in September 2007 by Cuttyhunk Books, Boston, Massachusetts. Distribution to bookstores and online retailers is through Bookazine, Ingram, and Baker & Taylor. (EAN/ISBN 978-0-97882595-9).

Stage version

The stage version of the memoir, adapted by Tommy Murphy and directed by David Berthold

David Berthold

David Berthold is a leading Australian theatre director. He has directed for most of Australia's major theatre companies, as well as internationally. Since November 2008, he has been Artistic Director and Chief Executive Officer of La Boite Theatre Company...

, is one of the most successful Australian theatre productions of recent times and the winner of multiple awards. It premiered in 2006 in a critically acclaimed, sold-out season at Sydney's Griffin Theatre Company

Griffin Theatre Company

Griffin Theatre Company is an Australian theatre specialising in new writing. It is the resident theatre company at the SBW Stables Theatre in Kings Cross, Sydney, Australia...

, Australia's leading new writing theatre, and became the company's highest-grossing production in its 30-year history. This first season ran from 3 November - 23 December 2006.

The production returned for a further five, highly successful seasons in various theatres around Australia:

Griffin Theatre Company
Griffin Theatre Company
Griffin Theatre Company is an Australian theatre specialising in new writing. It is the resident theatre company at the SBW Stables Theatre in Kings Cross, Sydney, Australia...

, 7 February - 3 March 2007.
Sydney Opera House
Sydney Opera House
The Sydney Opera House is a multi-venue performing arts centre in the Australian city of Sydney. It was conceived and largely built by Danish architect Jørn Utzon, finally opening in 1973 after a long gestation starting with his competition-winning design in 1957...

, 9–26 May 2007.
Company B
Company B (theatre)
Belvoir is an Australian theatre company based at the Belvoir St Theatre in Sydney, Australia. Its Artistic Director is Ralph Myers.Belvoir receives government support for its activities from the federal government through the Major Performing Arts Board of the Australia Council for the Arts and...

at Sydney's Belvoir St Theatre
Belvoir St Theatre
Belvoir St Theatre is an Australian theatre venue in Sydney. The venue in Belvoir Street, Surry Hills previously operated as the Nimrod Theatre, and was founded as "Belvoir St" in 1984 by Sue Hill and Chris Westwood...

, 22 September - 4 November 2007.
Brisbane Powerhouse, 5–9 March 2008.
Melbourne Theatre Company
Melbourne Theatre Company
The Melbourne Theatre Company is a theatre company based in Melbourne. Founded in 1953, it is the oldest professional theatre company in Australia, and has its own theatre, The MTC Theatre – which houses the 500-seat Sumner Theatre and the 150-seat Lawler Studio – located in Melbourne's Arts...

as part of its 2008 subscription season, 14 March - 26 April 2008.

West End (London) season

The original Australian production was recreated in London’s West End for a limited season from 4 May to 3 July 2010 (previewed from 23 April). The cast includes Jane Turner

Jane Turner

Jane Turner is an Australian actress, comedian and Logie Award winning comedy writer.Turner has appeared in many popular Australian TV programs, namely Prisoner in a straight dramatic role, with comedy roles in sketch comedy programs The D-Generation, Fast Forward, Full Frontal, Big Girl's Blouse...

, Kath from TV’s Kath and Kim. David Berthold

David Berthold

directs and Brian Thomson

Brian Thomson

Brian Thomson is an Australian theatre, opera and film designer. He has been active in Australian stage design for over three decades.Thomson began a long and successful collaboration with director Jim Sharman after they met at Heavenburgers on Sydney's Oxford Street in 1969; they worked together...

designs. The Trafalgar Studios

Trafalgar Studios

Trafalgar Studios, formerly The Whitehall Theatre until 2004, is a West End theatre in Whitehall, near Trafalgar Square, in the City of Westminster, London....

season is produced by Daniel Sparrow and Mike Walsh

Mike Walsh (TV host)

Mike Walsh OBE was host of The Mike Walsh Show from 1973 until 1985. Walsh is the only entertainer to be awarded the Sammy Award and Gold Logie award in the same year....

.

Other productions

The North American premiere of Holding the Man was staged by San Francisco's New Conservatory Theater Center, 21 September - 4 November 2007.

A New Zealand production was produced by Silo Theatre (at Auckland's Herald Theatre, Aotea Centre) from 7–29 August 2009, directed by Shane Bosher.

The State Theatre Company of South Australia

State Theatre Company of South Australia

The State Theatre Company of South Australia is South Australia's leading professional theatre company. It is based in the Dunstan Playhouse at the Adelaide Festival Centre. The current artistic director is Adam Cook...

production ran from 21 October - 13 November 2011 at the Dunstan Playhouse, Adelaide Festival Centre

Adelaide Festival Centre

The Adelaide Festival Centre, Australia's first multi-purpose arts centre, was built in 1973 and opened three months before the Sydney Opera House. The Festival Centre is located approximately 50 metres north of the corner of North Terrace and King William Street, lying near the banks of the River...

, directed by Rosalba Clemente and starring Nic English, Luke Clayson, Catherine Fitzgerald, Nick Pelomis, Geoff Revell and Ellen Steele. It was designed by Morag Cook, composed by Stuart Day, with lighting design by Mark Shelton and puppets created by Stephanie Fisher.

Publication

The stage version was published by Currency Press

Currency Press

Currency Press is Australia's only specialist performing arts publisher and its oldest independent publisher still active. Their list includes plays and screenplays, professional handbooks, biographies, cultural histories, critical studies and reference works....

in November 2006 in a double volume with another play by Murphy, Strangers in Between
Strangers in Between
Strangers in Between is a two-act Australian play by Tommy Murphy. It won the $15,000 2006 NSW Premier’s Literary Award for Best Play. It was first staged at Sydney's Griffin Theatre Company in February 2005, where it broke box office records....

. A new edition of the play will be published in April 2010 by Nick Hern Books

Nick Hern Books

Nick Hern Books is a London-based independent specialist publisher of plays, theatre books and screenplays. The company was founded by the former Methuen drama editor Nick Hern in 1988.-History:...

in the UK to coincide with the London season of the production.

Original Australian Creative Team

Director: David Berthold

David Berthold

Designer: Brian Thomson

Brian Thomson

Costume Designer: Micka Agosta

Lighting Designer: Stephen Hawker

Composer & Sound Designer: Basil Hogios

Associate Sound Designer: Stephen Toulmin

Stephen Toulmin

Stephen Edelston Toulmin was a British philosopher, author, and educator. Influenced by Ludwig Wittgenstein, Toulmin devoted his works to the analysis of moral reasoning. Throughout his writings, he sought to develop practical arguments which can be used effectively in evaluating the ethics behind...

Assistant Director: Nic Dorward

Timothy Conigrave: Guy Edmonds

Guy Edmonds

Guy Edmonds is an Australian born stage and film actor. He is best known for his work on such programmes as Home and Away, All Saints and Double Take, and on stage in the world premiere productions of Holding the Man and Toy Symphony.-Biography:...

John Caleo: Matt Zeremes

Mary-Gert Conigrave and Various: Jeanette Cronin

Dick Conigrave and Various: Nicholas Eadie

Nicholas Eadie

Nicholas Eadie is an Australian television actor.Born in Sydney, New South Wales to actor and Australian Broadcasting Commission radio announcer Mervyn Eadie, he attended Waverley College from 1968 to 1976, studied Arts at University of New England for one year in 1977, and studied at the National...

Phoebe and Various: Robin McLeavy

Robin McLeavy

Robin McLeavy is an actress from Sydney, Australia and NIDA graduate.- Career :Robin graduated from NIDA in 2004. Robin starred as Lola Stone in the critically acclaimed Australian horror The Loved Ones, directed by Sean Byrne...

Peter Craig and Various: Brett Stiller

London Creative Team

Director: David Berthold

David Berthold

Designer: Brian Thomson

Brian Thomson

Costume Designer: Micka Agosta

Lighting Designer: James Whiteside

Composer & Original Sound Designer: Basil Hogios

UK Sound Designer: Avgoustos Psillas

Associate Director: Adam Spreadbury-Maher

Adam Spreadbury-Maher

Adam Spreadbury-Maher is a multi-award winning Australian/Irish theatre artistic director, producer and translator. He is the founding Artistic Director of London's Cock Tavern Theatre from January 2009 until the venues closure in April 2011. He became Artistic Director of the Kings Head Theatre...

Associate Designer: Morgan Large

Timothy Conigrave: Guy Edmonds

Guy Edmonds

John Caleo: Matt Zeremes

Mary-Gert Conigrave and Various: Jane Turner

Jane Turner

Dick Conigrave and Various: Simon Burke

Simon Burke

Simon Burke is an Australian actor. Burke began his acting career as a 13 year-old in the Australian film, The Devil's Playground for which he was awarded Best Actor at the 1976 Australian Film Institute Awards....

Phoebe and Various: Anna Skellern

Anna Skellern

Anna Skellern is an actress best known as the first female member of The Chaser's television programme CNNNN.- Early years :...

Peter Craig and Various: Oliver Farnworth

Oliver Farnworth

Oliver Farnworth is an English actor, best known for playing the role of Will Hackett in the long-running teenage soap opera Hollyoaks.-Biography:...

New Zealand (Auckland) Creative Team

Director: Shane Bosher

Set Designer: Rachael Walker

Costume Designer: Elizabeth Whiting

Lighting Designer: Jeremy Fern

Composer & Sound Designer: Andrew McMillan

Timothy Conigrave: Dan Musgrove

John Caleo: Charlie McDermott

Mary-Gert Conigrave, Lois Caleo and Various: Alison Bruce

Alison Bruce

Alison Bruce is a New Zealand television and movie actress, best known for her role as Queen Melosa in the television series Xena: Warrior Princess.- Filmography :-Awards:...

Dick Conigrave, Bob Caleo and Various: Andrew Laing

Andrew Laing

Andrew Laing is a New Zealand actor best known for his role as Dr. Geoff Greenlaw in the popular soap opera, Shortland Street.-Filmography:-External links:...

Phoebe and Various: Michelle Blundell

Peter Craig, Biscuit, Kevin and Various: Matt Whelan

Matt Whelan

Matt Whelan is a New Zealand actor, best known for his role as Brad Caulfield in the New Zealand television comedy/drama series Go Girls.-Early life:Is an accomplished saxophonist, and despite rumours to the contrary does not how to snow board....

San Francisco Creative Team

Timothy Conigrave: Ben Randle

John Caleo: Bradly Mena

Mary-Gert Conigrave, Lois Caleo and Various: Danielle Perata

Dick Conigrave, Bob Caleo and Various: Dennis Parks

Phoebe and Various: Nicole Lungerhausen

Peter Craig, Biscuit, Kevin and Various: Wesley Cayabyab

Awards for Stage Version

Winner, $15,000 2007 New South Wales Premier's Literary Awards
New South Wales Premier's Literary Awards
The New South Wales Premier's Literary Awards were established in 1979 by the New South Wales Premier Neville Wran. Commenting on its purpose, Wran said: "We want the arts to take, and be seen to take, their proper place in our social priorities...

, Best Play
Winner, 2007 Australian Writers' Guild Award
AWGIE Awards
The AWGIE Awards is an annual awards ceremony conducted by the Australian Writers' Guild, for excellence in screen, television, stage and radio writing. The awards began in 1967....

(AWGIE), Best Play
Winner, 2007 Aussietheatre.com Online Awards for Best Play
Nomination, 2007 Helpmann Award
Helpmann Award
The Helpmann Awards recognize distinguished artistic achievement and excellence in Australia's live performing arts sectors. The recognized disciplines include musical and physical theatre, contemporary and classical music, opera, and dance, with a comedy category introduced in 2006...

for Best Play
Nomination, 2007 Sydney Theatre Awards, Best New Australian Work
Nomination, 2007 Queensland Premier's Literary Awards
Queensland Premier's Literary Awards
The Queensland Premier's Literary Awards were inaugurated in 1999 and have grown to become a leading literary awards program within Australia, with $225,000 in prizemoney over 14 categories. One of Australia's richest prizes, top categories offer up to $25,000 for 1st prize.-Fiction Book...

, Best Play

Judges' Citation, NSW Premier's Literary Award for Best Play

There have been many plays about life and love in the time of AIDS, some of them Australian, but this play is, however, in a real way, unique.

Adapted from Tim Conigrave's award-winning and much-loved memoir of the same name, Holding the Man tells the unusual and remarkable love story of Tim and John Caleo, who despite parental opposition, fell in love at Melbourne's Xavier College as 16-year-olds and remained together, in and out of love, until John died of AIDS. When they meet, Tim is an aspiring young actor and John is a promising footballer. For those who do not follow AFL it should be noted that the title is a football term.

Faithful to the book, the play covers some twenty years, and undertakes this demanding task gracefully. A love affair that spans such a long time is notoriously hard to dramatize yet Murphy does this with skill (he has an easy command of both the theatrical and of the dramatic), with wit, and with sensitivity. The personal and the political deftly intersect here, as the story is, in many ways, also a history of the gay pride movement in Australia . The play is by turns hilariously funny, tender and moving. It cleverly avoids the traps of sentimentality and self-pity as it journeys toward its inevitable and tragic conclusion.

External links

Articles and Interviews

Reviews of original stage production

Australian Production Information

Publication Information

New Zealand Production Information

Silo Theatre

Articles and Interviews from the New Zealand production

Reviews of New Zealand stage production

Articles and Interviews from the San Francisco production

San Francisco Examiner

Reviews of San Francisco stage production

The source of this article is wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The text of this article is licensed under the GFDL.