, television and radio personality and author
. He is a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour
, a comedy troupe which also comprises Larry the Cable Guy
, Bill Engvall
and Ron White
. Known for his "you might be a redneck
" one-liners, Foxworthy has released six major-label comedy albums. His first two albums were each certified 3×multi-Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America
. Foxworthy has also written several books based on his redneck jokes, as well as an autobiography entitled No Shirt, No Shoes...
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles. - The Tonight Show|The Tonight Show, 27 March 2007
Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it. - Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy
People always ask me, "Did you see Larry's latest movie?" I always say, "No, but I flushed a ten dollar bill down the toilet, so I feel like I've seen it." - Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy
Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and it's about comin' home. It's real music sung by real people for real people, the people that make up the backbone of this country. You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they'll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard. And if you play with 'em too hard, they'll spew like a can of beer. I like to shake my daughter up, then hand her to people I don't like. "Hold her just a minute, would you?"
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, "Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn. You wanna put a penny in a light socket? Try that out. OHH! Hurt like hell, didn't it? Don't do that no more."
My mom thinks my new daughter is exceptionally bright, because now she will lie on the floor and talk to the ceiling fan. I said, "Mom, Uncle Harold does that and y'all call him an alcoholic."
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, "You know what? We're all right. We're dang near royalty!"