Kermode and Mayo's Film Reviews
Encyclopedia
Kermode and Mayo's Film Reviews with Mark Kermode
and Simon Mayo
is a radio programme broadcast regularly on BBC Radio 5 Live
every Friday afternoon between 2 pm and 4 pm. The show, 'the BBC's flagship movie podcast', features film reviews from Kermode; Mayo interviews actors and other guests, and introduces various topics and comments from listeners who contact the programme through email
, Twitter
, and text messages. The programme's Twitter handle, "Wittertainment" is a nickname
for the programme itself.
The show is broadcast live on radio, accompanied by a live streaming webcam feed; each programme is available on BBC iPlayer
and as a podcast. Individual reviews are available in an A to Z directory on the Five Live website, or as videos on YouTube.
In 2009 the show received a Sony Radio Academy Award
.
When Mayo left Five Live in January 2010 for BBC Radio 2
, the show was kept on Five Live, and expanded to two hours to became a show in its own right from 2 pm every Friday.
In June 2011, it was announced that BBC had signed a two-year agreement for the programme to be produced by Somethin' Else Sound Directions
; the company was selected following a competitive process that also included pitches
from Hidden Flack, the talent management and production company whose clients include Kermode and Nigel Floyd The change after ten years was part of an effort by the BBC to have more of its radio shows produced from outside suppliers. The change became effective 7 October 2011; as of that date Simon Poole is the show’s producer, Robin Bulloch is its editor, and Rowan Woods is the guest booker. Somethin' Else announced its intention to "'build the profile of the Kermode and Mayo brand online' with more podcast downloads and a 'new digital strategy'."
s from Kermode for films he has seen; Mayo reads comments from listeners on films Kermode has not seen. The rest of the first hour features interviews with guests, sometimes pre-recorded. The second hour is devoted to full reviews of recently released films. At the end of each show, Kermode identifies his 'Film of the Week.'
Throughout each show Kermode and Mayo's engage in "on-air sparring" that has been compared to a "bickering married couple"; the decade-long partnership includes numerous in-jokes and ongoing arguments.
, Michael Sheen
and David Morrissey
, and are referred to as Friends of the Show. During each programme, a number of these friends may be greeted in a list, beginning 'And hello to...'. Jason Isaacs is always the first on the list, having been a school friend of Kermode, but other people named in the past include
Michael Sheen,
David Morrissey,
Stephen Fry
and various English folk groups
magazine and Nigel Floyd (film critic for Time Out magazine), commonly referred to as Boyd and Floyd. Andrew Collins
, film editor for the Radio Times
, has occasionally also taken Kermode's place.Replacements for Mayo have included Colin Murray
, Richard Bacon and, most regularly, Colin Paterson
.
in East Finchley, a 2009 broadcast from the Edinburgh International Film Festival
, or during sporting events when Mayo's show comes from the location of the event).
As part of the 10th Anniversary celebrations, on Friday 10 June, the show was broadcast as a special edition from the new BBC MediaCityUK in Salford
featuring film music played by the BBC Philharmonic
. As part of the performance of the score from Midnight Cowboy
, Kermode played the harmonica solo with the orchestra after volunteering at the roundtable discussion, not realising the part required the chromatic harmonica
rather than the diatonic harmonica, the instrument he plays. After the broadcast on Radio 5 finished, there was more discussion and music on sister station BBC Radio 3
later that evening. The music for the broadcast was chosen by guests for a special roundtable discussion, released as a bonus podcast, except for one decision (between the music for Jaws
and Indiana Jones
) which was opened to the public for a text vote with the winner (Indiana Jones) being announced on Friday 27 May. The guests for the roundtable discussion were Andrew Collins
, Paloma Faith
, Richard Wigley and Robert Ziegler.
Other 10th Anniversary extras, during a month of special programming (in May and June 2011), include a 'Best of', broadcast on 29 May 2011, presented by Hugh Bonneville, an appearance on the Richard Bacon show on 31 May 2011 discussing the beginning of the partnership and four online videos:
Based on past history, films about which Kermode is expected to rant are often identified, but there are often occasions when the anticipated rant fails to happen. The most common reason for this is that rather than being offended by a film, the typical reason for a rant, Kermode's reaction is just that the film is terrible and that he wouldn't recommend it. Most recently this happened with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
, when Kermode merely expressed indifference, contrasting with his ten minute long rant about Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, during which Mayo was able to get up and walk away from the microphone, leaving Kermode to continue on his own. Another expected rant which failed to materialise was for Mamma Mia!
. During the review Kermode expressed his surprise that he found himself actually enjoying the film in spite of his preconceptions.
Kermode and Mayo are also sometimes referred to as the 'Doctors'. Kermode has a PhD in English and so is a Doctor, while Mayo received a Doctor of Letters
from Warwick University in 2005. The difference between Kermode's academic doctorate and Mayo's honorary one is a source of bickering between the pair.
, nor has he read the whole of Kermode's book (aside from the parts which he is in). Other commonly mentioned themes are Kermode's 'big, flappy hands', Werner Herzog
, Mark's dislike of the Cannes Film Festival
, his dislike of 3D
films, 'Unfortunate Events' (specifically coined to avoid mentioning the fate of Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
after complaints about spoilers), the death of narrative cinema and the usefulness of the BBFC detailed classifications.
which stated: NEWS ALERT KERMODE AND MAYOS CINEMA CODE OF CONDUCT REVEALED TODAY WATCH LIVE FROM 2 pm BBC.CO.UK 5LIVE.
The Cinema Code of Conduct states:
with a segment called 'The Screening Room', held in various locations, where films were discussed with an audience before clips of those films were shown. Kermode also has a blog on the BBC website, called 'Kermode Uncut', where he invites discussion from viewers and often continues or begins discussions which relate back to the radio show.
During his review of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, Kermode made a passing comment that it was so similar to the Harry Potter
franchise it might as well be called 'Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins
'. Listener Jeremy Dylan then took this title and produced posters, a trailer and, eventually, an independent film
based on the concept, even getting Stephen Fry
to do the narration. Following the basic structure of the Harry Potter books, where the main character discovers special abilities and goes to a special school, the script contains a multitude of references to Wittertainment jokes and themes.
Mark Kermode
Mark Kermode is an English film critic, musician and a member of the British Academy of Film and Television Arts. He contributes to Sight and Sound magazine, The Observer newspaper and BBC Radio 5 Live, where he presents Kermode and Mayo's Film Reviews with Simon Mayo on Friday afternoons...
and Simon Mayo
Simon Mayo
Simon Mayo is an English radio presenter who has worked for BBC Radio since 1981. As of January 2010, Mayo is presenter of Simon Mayo Drivetime on BBC Radio 2 and, with Mark Kermode, presenter of Kermode and Mayo's Film Reviews on BBC Radio 5 Live.In 2008, Mayo was recognised as the "radio...
is a radio programme broadcast regularly on BBC Radio 5 Live
BBC Radio 5 Live
BBC Radio 5 Live is the BBC's national radio service that specialises in live BBC News, phone-ins, and sports commentaries...
every Friday afternoon between 2 pm and 4 pm. The show, 'the BBC's flagship movie podcast', features film reviews from Kermode; Mayo interviews actors and other guests, and introduces various topics and comments from listeners who contact the programme through email
Email
Electronic mail, commonly known as email or e-mail, is a method of exchanging digital messages from an author to one or more recipients. Modern email operates across the Internet or other computer networks. Some early email systems required that the author and the recipient both be online at the...
Twitter
Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, informally known as "tweets".Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey and launched that July...
, and text messages. The programme's Twitter handle, "Wittertainment" is a nickname
Nickname
A nickname is "a usually familiar or humorous but sometimes pointed or cruel name given to a person or place, as a supposedly appropriate replacement for or addition to the proper name.", or a name similar in origin and pronunciation from the original name....
for the programme itself.
The show is broadcast live on radio, accompanied by a live streaming webcam feed; each programme is available on BBC iPlayer
BBC iPlayer
BBC iPlayer, commonly shortened to iPlayer, is an internet television and radio service, developed by the BBC to extend its former RealPlayer-based and other streamed video clip content to include whole TV shows....
and as a podcast. Individual reviews are available in an A to Z directory on the Five Live website, or as videos on YouTube.
Broadcast history
Kermode and Mayo first presented together on Radio 1 in the 1990s, The current incarnation of the programme started on Radio 5 in 2001, as a "short review segment" on the Friday episode of Mayo's weekday afternoon show. Upon reuniting on Radio 5, their relationship continued just as it had on Radio 1, with Kermode recalling his first words may have been 'And another thing...'.In 2009 the show received a Sony Radio Academy Award
Sony Radio Academy Awards
The Sony Radio Academy Awards , started in 1983, are some of the most prestigious awards in the British radio industry. They are run by ZAFER Associates in association with the Radio Academy...
.
When Mayo left Five Live in January 2010 for BBC Radio 2
BBC Radio 2
BBC Radio 2 is one of the BBC's national radio stations and the most popular station in the United Kingdom. Much of its daytime playlist-based programming is best described as Adult Contemporary or AOR, although the station is also noted for its specialist broadcasting of other musical genres...
, the show was kept on Five Live, and expanded to two hours to became a show in its own right from 2 pm every Friday.
In June 2011, it was announced that BBC had signed a two-year agreement for the programme to be produced by Somethin' Else Sound Directions
Somethin' Else Sound Directions Ltd.
Somethin' Else is a content design and creation company. They specialise in content across, games, interactivity, radio, TV, branded content and talent management....
; the company was selected following a competitive process that also included pitches
Sales pitch
In selling technique, a sales pitch is a line of talk that attempts to persuade someone or something, with a planned sales presentation strategy of a product or service designed to initiate and close a sale of the product or service....
from Hidden Flack, the talent management and production company whose clients include Kermode and Nigel Floyd The change after ten years was part of an effort by the BBC to have more of its radio shows produced from outside suppliers. The change became effective 7 October 2011; as of that date Simon Poole is the show’s producer, Robin Bulloch is its editor, and Rowan Woods is the guest booker. Somethin' Else announced its intention to "'build the profile of the Kermode and Mayo brand online' with more podcast downloads and a 'new digital strategy'."
Features
The first hour of the show normally contains a run down of the week's top ten films, with brief comments or capsule reviewCapsule review
A capsule review is a form of criticism, usually associated with journalism, that offers a relatively short critique of a specified artistic work...
s from Kermode for films he has seen; Mayo reads comments from listeners on films Kermode has not seen. The rest of the first hour features interviews with guests, sometimes pre-recorded. The second hour is devoted to full reviews of recently released films. At the end of each show, Kermode identifies his 'Film of the Week.'
Throughout each show Kermode and Mayo's engage in "on-air sparring" that has been compared to a "bickering married couple"; the decade-long partnership includes numerous in-jokes and ongoing arguments.
Regular guests
Various actors have made multiple appearances on the show, particularly Jason IsaacsJason Isaacs
Jason Isaacs is an English actor born in Liverpool, who is best known for his performance as the villain Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, the brutal Colonel William Tavington in The Patriot and as lifelong criminal Michael Caffee in the internationally broadcast American television series...
, Michael Sheen
Michael Sheen
Michael Christopher Sheen, OBE , is a Welsh stage and screen actor. He trained at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London, England and made his professional debut opposite Vanessa Redgrave in When She Danced at the Globe Theatre in 1991...
and David Morrissey
David Morrissey
David Mark Morrissey is an English actor and director. Morrissey grew up in the Kensington and Knotty Ash areas of Liverpool, and learned to act at the city's Everyman Youth Theatre. At the age of 18, he was cast in the television series One Summer , which won him recognition throughout the country...
, and are referred to as Friends of the Show. During each programme, a number of these friends may be greeted in a list, beginning 'And hello to...'. Jason Isaacs is always the first on the list, having been a school friend of Kermode, but other people named in the past include
Michael Sheen,
David Morrissey,
Stephen Fry
Stephen Fry
Stephen John Fry is an English actor, screenwriter, author, playwright, journalist, poet, comedian, television presenter and film director, and a director of Norwich City Football Club. He first came to attention in the 1981 Cambridge Footlights Revue presentation "The Cellar Tapes", which also...
and various English folk groups
Stand-in presenters
Alternate presenters take over the show while Kermode and Mayo are away. The most regular replacements for Kermode are Boyd Hilton (TV and reviews editor of HeatHeat (magazine)
Heat is a British entertainment magazine published by German company Bauer Media Group. it is one of the biggest selling magazines in the UK, with a regular circulation over half a million. Its mix of celebrity news, gossip and fashion is primarily aimed at women, although not as directly as in...
magazine and Nigel Floyd (film critic for Time Out magazine), commonly referred to as Boyd and Floyd. Andrew Collins
Andrew Collins
Andrew Collins may refer to:* Andrew B. Collins , a U.S. research analyst* Andrew Collins , British journalist, scriptwriter, and broadcaster...
, film editor for the Radio Times
Radio Times
Radio Times is a UK weekly television and radio programme listings magazine, owned by the BBC. It has been published since 1923 by BBC Magazines, which also provides an on-line listings service under the same title...
, has occasionally also taken Kermode's place.Replacements for Mayo have included Colin Murray
Colin Murray
Colin Murray is a Northern Irish sports and music radio and television presenter. He is the current host of the BBC Television show Match of the Day 2 on BBC Two, and the BBC Radio 5 Live shows 5 Live Sport and Fighting Talk, as well as a show on BBC Radio Ulster. He has previously hosted regular...
, Richard Bacon and, most regularly, Colin Paterson
Colin Paterson
Colin Paterson is a Scottish journalist and broadcaster who is currently the entertainment correspondent on BBC Radio 5 Live and was a presenter and reporter on BBC Three's Liquid News.-Early life:...
.
Special broadcasts
Alongside the regular show there have been a number of special broadcasts. These include an annual 'Review of the Year' show, prerecorded and broadcast on New Year's Eve, during which Kermode names his best and worst films of the year, a Christmas Quiz, broadcast on Christmas Eve with special guests and recorded with a live audience, and occasional outside broadcasts (for example, from the Phoenix CinemaPhoenix Cinema
The Phoenix Cinema is an independent cinema in East Finchley, London, which was built in 1910 and opened in 1912 as the 'East Finchley Picturedrome'...
in East Finchley, a 2009 broadcast from the Edinburgh International Film Festival
Edinburgh International Film Festival
The Edinburgh International Film Festival is an annual fortnight of cinema screenings and related events taking place each June. Established in 1947, it is the world's oldest continually running film festival...
, or during sporting events when Mayo's show comes from the location of the event).
As part of the 10th Anniversary celebrations, on Friday 10 June, the show was broadcast as a special edition from the new BBC MediaCityUK in Salford
City of Salford
The City of Salford is a city and metropolitan borough of Greater Manchester, England. It is named after its largest settlement, Salford, but covers a far larger area which includes the towns of Eccles, Swinton-Pendlebury, Walkden and Irlam which apart from Irlam each have a population of over...
featuring film music played by the BBC Philharmonic
BBC Philharmonic
The BBC Philharmonic is a British broadcasting symphony orchestra based at Media City UK, Salford, England. It is one of five radio orchestras maintained by the British Broadcasting Corporation. The orchestra's primary concert venue is the Bridgewater Hall....
. As part of the performance of the score from Midnight Cowboy
Midnight Cowboy
Midnight Cowboy is a 1969 American drama film based on the 1965 novel of the same name by James Leo Herlihy. It was written by Waldo Salt, directed by John Schlesinger, and stars Dustin Hoffman and newcomer Jon Voight in the title role. Notable smaller roles are filled by Sylvia Miles, John...
, Kermode played the harmonica solo with the orchestra after volunteering at the roundtable discussion, not realising the part required the chromatic harmonica
Chromatic harmonica
The chromatic harmonica is a type of harmonica that uses a button-activated sliding bar to redirect air from the hole in the mouthpiece to the selected reed-plate desired. When the button is not pressed, an altered diatonic major scale of the key of the harmonica is available, while depressing the...
rather than the diatonic harmonica, the instrument he plays. After the broadcast on Radio 5 finished, there was more discussion and music on sister station BBC Radio 3
BBC Radio 3
BBC Radio 3 is a national radio station operated by the BBC within the United Kingdom. Its output centres on classical music and opera, but jazz, world music, drama, culture and the arts also feature. The station is the world’s most significant commissioner of new music, and its New Generation...
later that evening. The music for the broadcast was chosen by guests for a special roundtable discussion, released as a bonus podcast, except for one decision (between the music for Jaws
Jaws (film)
Jaws is a 1975 American horror-thriller film directed by Steven Spielberg and based on Peter Benchley's novel of the same name. In the story, the police chief of Amity Island, a fictional summer resort town, tries to protect beachgoers from a giant man-eating great white shark by closing the beach,...
and Indiana Jones
Indiana Jones
Colonel Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr., Ph.D. is a fictional character and the protagonist of the Indiana Jones franchise. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg created the character in homage to the action heroes of 1930s film serials...
) which was opened to the public for a text vote with the winner (Indiana Jones) being announced on Friday 27 May. The guests for the roundtable discussion were Andrew Collins
Andrew Collins
Andrew Collins may refer to:* Andrew B. Collins , a U.S. research analyst* Andrew Collins , British journalist, scriptwriter, and broadcaster...
, Paloma Faith
Paloma Faith
Paloma Faith is a British singer-songwriter and actress. In 2009, she released her debut single "Stone Cold Sober", then her debut album, Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?, which was certified Platinum by the British Phonographic Industry. Her debut album stayed within the top 40 album...
, Richard Wigley and Robert Ziegler.
Other 10th Anniversary extras, during a month of special programming (in May and June 2011), include a 'Best of', broadcast on 29 May 2011, presented by Hugh Bonneville, an appearance on the Richard Bacon show on 31 May 2011 discussing the beginning of the partnership and four online videos:
- The A-Z of Wittertainment – Part 1
- The A-Z of Wittertainment – Part Deux
- The A-Z of Wittertainment – in 3D (not)
- The A-Z of Wittertainment: – The Final Chapter (4.0)
Bickering and rants
A particular feature of the show is Kermode's tendency to begin a review calmly but to descend into a rant which can last up to 10 or 15 minutes. Such "Kermodian rants", are popular (based on viewing statistics reported on the Kermode and Mayo YouTube channel).Based on past history, films about which Kermode is expected to rant are often identified, but there are often occasions when the anticipated rant fails to happen. The most common reason for this is that rather than being offended by a film, the typical reason for a rant, Kermode's reaction is just that the film is terrible and that he wouldn't recommend it. Most recently this happened with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is a 2011 adventure fantasy film and the fourth installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean series...
, when Kermode merely expressed indifference, contrasting with his ten minute long rant about Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, during which Mayo was able to get up and walk away from the microphone, leaving Kermode to continue on his own. Another expected rant which failed to materialise was for Mamma Mia!
Mamma Mia!
Mamma Mia! is a stage musical written by British playwright Catherine Johnson, based on the songs of ABBA, composed by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus, former members of the band. Although the title of the musical is taken from the group's 1975 chart-topper "Mamma Mia", the plot is fictional, not...
. During the review Kermode expressed his surprise that he found himself actually enjoying the film in spite of his preconceptions.
Kermode and Mayo are also sometimes referred to as the 'Doctors'. Kermode has a PhD in English and so is a Doctor, while Mayo received a Doctor of Letters
Doctor of Letters
Doctor of Letters is a university academic degree, often a higher doctorate which is frequently awarded as an honorary degree in recognition of outstanding scholarship or other merits.-Commonwealth:...
from Warwick University in 2005. The difference between Kermode's academic doctorate and Mayo's honorary one is a source of bickering between the pair.
Impressions
As part of his reviews, Kermode often imitates the actors in the films having conversations, adopting voices which are meant to represent the performances heard. Some of the most well-known of these include:- Gwyneth PaltrowGwyneth PaltrowGwyneth Kate Paltrow is an American actress and singer. She made her acting debut on stage in 1990 and started appearing in films in 1991. After appearing in several films throughout the decade, Paltrow gained early notice for her work in films such as Se7en and Emma...
and Robert Downey Jr.Robert Downey Jr.Robert John Downey, Jr. is an American actor. Downey made his screen debut in 1970 at the age of five when he appeared in his father's film Pound, and has worked consistently in film and television ever since. During the 1980s he had roles in a series of coming of age films associated with the...
in Iron Man 2Iron Man 2Iron Man 2 is a 2010 American superhero film featuring the Marvel Comics character Iron Man, produced by Marvel Studios and distributed by Paramount Pictures. It is the sequel to 2008's Iron Man, the second film in a planned trilogy and is a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Directed by Jon... - Danny DyerDanny DyerDanny Dyer is an English actor, media personality, and chairman of Greenwich Borough, a non-League football team.-Biography:Daniel John Dyer was born in Custom House, an area of East London, to Antony and Christine Dyer...
in PimpPimp (film)Pimp is a British thriller film in the mockumentary vein of Man Bites Dog, released on 24 May 2010.It was written and directed by Robert Cavanah who also plays the lead role...
(provoking Dyer to threaten to attack Kermode) - Jason Statham
- Fred (in Fred The Movie)
- Megan Fox
- Renee Zellweger
- Sir Anthony Hopkins
Running jokes
After ten years, Kermode and Mayo have developed a number of running jokes and themes that are often referenced during the show and interviews. These include the fact that Mayo has not seen Kermode's favourite film, The ExorcistThe Exorcist
The Exorcist is a novel of supernatural suspense by William Peter Blatty, published by Harper & Row in 1971. It was inspired by a 1949 case of demonic possession and exorcism that Blatty heard about while he was a student in the class of 1950 at Georgetown University, a Jesuit school...
, nor has he read the whole of Kermode's book (aside from the parts which he is in). Other commonly mentioned themes are Kermode's 'big, flappy hands', Werner Herzog
Werner Herzog
Werner Herzog Stipetić , known as Werner Herzog, is a German film director, producer, screenwriter, actor, and opera director.He is often considered as one of the greatest figures of the New German Cinema, along with Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Margarethe von Trotta, Volker Schlöndorff, Werner...
, Mark's dislike of the Cannes Film Festival
Cannes Film Festival
The Cannes International Film Festival , is an annual film festival held in Cannes, France, which previews new films of all genres including documentaries from around the world. Founded in 1946, it is among the world's most prestigious and publicized film festivals...
, his dislike of 3D
3-D film
A 3-D film or S3D film is a motion picture that enhances the illusion of depth perception...
films, 'Unfortunate Events' (specifically coined to avoid mentioning the fate of Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is the sixth and penultimate novel in the Harry Potter series by British author J. K. Rowling...
after complaints about spoilers), the death of narrative cinema and the usefulness of the BBFC detailed classifications.
Cinema code of conduct
In 2010, Kermode and Mayo developed a Cinema Code of Conduct, which was launched as a guidance to cinemas and cinema-goers as to the best way to behave while watching a film. During the development of the Code, listeners were invited to submit suggestions for what should be included. The launch of the code was preceded by a YouTube video with a message in Morse CodeMorse code
Morse code is a method of transmitting textual information as a series of on-off tones, lights, or clicks that can be directly understood by a skilled listener or observer without special equipment...
which stated: NEWS ALERT KERMODE AND MAYOS CINEMA CODE OF CONDUCT REVEALED TODAY WATCH LIVE FROM 2 pm BBC.CO.UK 5LIVE.
The Cinema Code of Conduct states:
- No Eating... ...of anything harder than a soft roll with no filling. No one wants to hear you crunch, chew or masticate in any way. Nachos cause special offence and are of the devil.
- No Slurping... ...of drinks. You've already drunk a 5 litre flagon of popSoft drinkA soft drink is a non-alcoholic beverage that typically contains water , a sweetener, and a flavoring agent...
, you really don't need the melting ice too. You are not six years old. - No Rustling... ...of super high density, rustle-o-matic, extra rustle bags. No foraging of any kind, if you're going to need it during the film, get it out before hand.
- No Irresponsible Parenting Your five-year-old does not want to come to see the latest 12A certificate: you are using the cinema as a babysitter. Your child's moaning, whinging and crying is your fault and a profound annoyance to everyone else. Your interrupted sleep caused by your child's nightmares is also your fault and serves you right.
- No Hobbies This includes knittingKnittingKnitting is a method by which thread or yarn may be turned into cloth or other fine crafts. Knitted fabric consists of consecutive rows of loops, called stitches. As each row progresses, a new loop is pulled through an existing loop. The active stitches are held on a needle until another loop can...
, drug dealing, model aeroplane assembly, fighting, having sexSexual intercourseSexual intercourse, also known as copulation or coitus, commonly refers to the act in which a male's penis enters a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction. The entities may be of opposite sexes, or they may be hermaphroditic, as is the case with snails...
and updating FacebookFacebookFacebook is a social networking service and website launched in February 2004, operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc. , Facebook has more than 800 million active users. Users must register before using the site, after which they may create a personal profile, add other users as...
. - No Talking You’re in a cinema – you have come here to watch, not to discuss. Or ‘engage’, or ‘participate’, or ‘explain’ or whatever. More importantly, no-one in the cinema has paid £Pound sterlingThe pound sterling , commonly called the pound, is the official currency of the United Kingdom, its Crown Dependencies and the British Overseas Territories of South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, British Antarctic Territory and Tristan da Cunha. It is subdivided into 100 pence...
8.50 to hear your director’s commentary on the movie. Just sit down and shut up. - No Mobile Phone Usage At all. Not even on ‘flight mode’. This isn’t an aeroplane, it’s a cinema. Even if you’re not yapping, you’re still creating light pollutionLight pollutionLight pollution, also known as photopollution or luminous pollution, is excessive or obtrusive artificial light.The International Dark-Sky Association defines light pollution as:...
. Put your thumbs away. NB: includes BlackBerriesBlackBerryBlackBerry is a line of mobile email and smartphone devices developed and designed by Canadian company Research In Motion since 1999.BlackBerry devices are smartphones, designed to function as personal digital assistants, portable media players, internet browsers, gaming devices, and much more...
, PalmPilotPalmPilotThe PalmPilot Personal and PalmPilot Professional are the second generation of Palm PDA devices produced by Palm Inc...
s, iPadIPadThe iPad is a line of tablet computers designed, developed and marketed by Apple Inc., primarily as a platform for audio-visual media including books, periodicals, movies, music, games, and web content. The iPad was introduced on January 27, 2010 by Apple's then-CEO Steve Jobs. Its size and...
s – whatever. - No Kicking of Seats The area of floor directly in front of your seat is yours, and is there to put your legs in. The back of the seat in front of you belongs to someone else; do not touch, interfere with, or otherwise invade their space with your feet, knees, or other bodily appendages.
- No Arriving Late Like Woody AllenWoody AllenWoody Allen is an American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, jazz musician, author, and playwright. Allen's films draw heavily on literature, sexuality, philosophy, psychology, Jewish identity, and the history of cinema...
in Annie HallAnnie HallAnnie Hall is a 1977 American romantic comedy directed by Woody Allen from a screenplay co-written with Marshall Brickman and co-starring Diane Keaton. One of Allen's most popular and most honored films, it won four Academy Awards including Best Picture...
, you’re supposed to watch movies from the very beginning to the very end. If you turn up late, tough: go see something else – The Sorrow and the Pity, perhaps. - No Shoe Removal You are not in your own front room. Nor are you in JapanJapanJapan is an island nation in East Asia. Located in the Pacific Ocean, it lies to the east of the Sea of Japan, China, North Korea, South Korea and Russia, stretching from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north to the East China Sea and Taiwan in the south...
(unless you are, in which case, carry on). A cinema is a public space: keep your bodily odours to yourself.
Related productions
Kermode and Mayo have also appeared on The Culture ShowThe Culture Show
The Culture Show is a weekly BBC Two Arts magazine programme. It is broadcast in the UK on Thursday nights at 7pm, focusing on the best of the week's arts and culture news, covering books, art, film, architecture, music, visual fashion and the performing arts...
with a segment called 'The Screening Room', held in various locations, where films were discussed with an audience before clips of those films were shown. Kermode also has a blog on the BBC website, called 'Kermode Uncut', where he invites discussion from viewers and often continues or begins discussions which relate back to the radio show.
During his review of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, Kermode made a passing comment that it was so similar to the Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. The books chronicle the adventures of the adolescent wizard Harry Potter and his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, all of whom are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...
franchise it might as well be called 'Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins
Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins
Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins is an Australian feature film inspired by the Kermode and Mayo film review programme. It is a parody of Harry Potter/Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief as well as containing several jokes related Kermode and Mayo's programme.-Plot:The film opens...
'. Listener Jeremy Dylan then took this title and produced posters, a trailer and, eventually, an independent film
Independent film
An independent film, or indie film, is a professional film production resulting in a feature film that is produced mostly or completely outside of the major film studio system. In addition to being produced and distributed by independent entertainment companies, independent films are also produced...
based on the concept, even getting Stephen Fry
Stephen Fry
Stephen John Fry is an English actor, screenwriter, author, playwright, journalist, poet, comedian, television presenter and film director, and a director of Norwich City Football Club. He first came to attention in the 1981 Cambridge Footlights Revue presentation "The Cellar Tapes", which also...
to do the narration. Following the basic structure of the Harry Potter books, where the main character discovers special abilities and goes to a special school, the script contains a multitude of references to Wittertainment jokes and themes.
Awards
- Gold Speech award, Sony Awards 2009
- Best Specialist Contributor, Mark Kermode, Sony Awards 2010