remembered for his deadpan
style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law
and wife.
Raised in the Collyhurst
district of Manchester
, Dawson began his entertainment career as a pianist in a Parisian brothelaccording to his entertaining but factually unreliable autobiography. As a club pianist ("I finally heard some applause from a bald man and said 'thank you for clapping me' and he said 'I'm not clapping - I'm slapping me head to keep awake'"), he was to find that he got laughs by playing wrong notes and complaining to the audience.
I finally heard some applause from a bald man and said 'thank you for clapping me' and he said 'I'm not clapping - I'm slapping me head to keep awake.'
I invested a lot of money in a company that made ladies’ bonnets, and then the government cancelled Easter.
Remember, no matter how bad things get, there's always someone worse off than yourself - me.
I can always tell when the mother in law is coming to stay, the mice throw themselves on the traps.
I'm so unlucky, I was once mugged by Lord Longford.
She had a face like a bag of spanners.
Our house were... our house... yeah! Our house were that mucky you 'ad to wipe your feet before ya went out.
My mother in law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
My mother in law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow it's the mother in law's funeral... and she's cancelled it.