Michele Weiner-Davis
Encyclopedia
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
Master of Social Work
The Master of Social Work is a master's degree in social workand especiality of sociology.- United States :In the United States, MSW degrees must be received from a graduate school that has been approved by the Council on Social Work Education...

, is a marriage and family therapist and author in the field of family therapy
Family therapy
Family therapy, also referred to as couple and family therapy, family systems therapy, and family counseling, is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of...

. She is frequently quoted in the media and has been interviewed on television news programs regarding divorce prevention. Weiner-Davis has often been referred to as The Divorce Buster after coining the term “divorce busting” at an American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy is the professional association for the field of marriage and family therapy representing more than 25,000 marriage and family therapists throughout the United States, Canada, and abroad....

 (AAMFT) conference in 1989. She currently writes a regular column, Divorce Busting: Musings From an Unabashed Marriage Saver in Psychology Today
Psychology Today
Psychology Today is a bi-monthly magazine published in the United States. It is a psychology-based magazine about relationships, health, and related topics written for a mass audience of non-psychologists. Psychology Today was founded in 1967 and features articles on such topics as love,...

.

Personal life

Weiner-Davis grew up in New York City
New York City
New York is the most populous city in the United States and the center of the New York Metropolitan Area, one of the most populous metropolitan areas in the world. New York exerts a significant impact upon global commerce, finance, media, art, fashion, research, technology, education, and...

 along with two brothers. She has described her young childhood as idyllic, similar to the "Walton Family
The Waltons
The Waltons is an American television series created by Earl Hamner, Jr., based on his book Spencer's Mountain, and a 1963 film of the same name. The show centered on a family growing up in a rural Virginia community during the Great Depression and World War II. The series pilot was a television...

". During Weiner-Davis' senior year in high school, her parents divorced after twenty-three years of marriage. Her mother had been speaking with a therapist for several years, and she had been advised by the therapist that the differences between her and her husband were irreconcilable. Because of her parent's divorce and because of the widespread ineptitude that passes for "therapy," Weiner-Davis has become a believer in the sanctity of marriage and a champion for saving the relationships of others.

Weiner-Davis has two children, a son and a daughter, and has been married since 1977.

Career

Weiner-Davis received a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1973 from Grinnell College
Grinnell College
Grinnell College is a private liberal arts college in Grinnell, Iowa, U.S. known for its strong tradition of social activism. It was founded in 1846, when a group of pioneer New England Congregationalists established the Trustees of Iowa College....

. She then earned a Master's Degree in Social Work
Master of Social Work
The Master of Social Work is a master's degree in social workand especiality of sociology.- United States :In the United States, MSW degrees must be received from a graduate school that has been approved by the Council on Social Work Education...

 (MSW) in 1977 from the University of Kansas
University of Kansas
The University of Kansas is a public research university and the largest university in the state of Kansas. KU campuses are located in Lawrence, Wichita, Overland Park, and Kansas City, Kansas with the main campus being located in Lawrence on Mount Oread, the highest point in Lawrence. The...

. She began her early career in private practice, counseling young couples with relationship issues. During this time in her career, she believed that a separation was inevitable if one spouse had pre-determined that they wanted a divorce. In those situations, Weiner-Davis would counsel the couples on how to make the divorce easier on the family.

During the 1980s, while working with the McHenry County Youth Service Bureau in
Woodstock
Woodstock, Illinois
Woodstock is a far northwest suburb of Chicago in McHenry County, Illinois. The population was 20,151 at the 2000 census. The 2010 Census shows 24,770 residents. It is the county seat of McHenry County...

, Illinois
Illinois
Illinois is the fifth-most populous state of the United States of America, and is often noted for being a microcosm of the entire country. With Chicago in the northeast, small industrial cities and great agricultural productivity in central and northern Illinois, and natural resources like coal,...

, she became involved with Steve de Shazer
Steve de Shazer
Steve de Shazer was a psychotherapist, author, and developer and pioneer of solution focused brief therapy...

  and Insoo Kim Berg
Insoo Kim Berg
Insoo Kim Berg was a Korean-born American psychotherapist who was a pioneer of solution focused brief therapy. She influenced the fields of psychotherapy, consulting, supervision and coaching with concepts such as resource-orientation and brief therapy...

  and his team at the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee County, Wisconsin
Wisconsin
Wisconsin is a U.S. state located in the north-central United States and is part of the Midwest. It is bordered by Minnesota to the west, Iowa to the southwest, Illinois to the south, Lake Michigan to the east, Michigan to the northeast, and Lake Superior to the north. Wisconsin's capital is...

. She was part of the group of researchers that made contributions in the field of psychotherapy
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is a general term referring to any form of therapeutic interaction or treatment contracted between a trained professional and a client or patient; family, couple or group...

 to help develop what is known as Solution Focused Brief Therapy
Solution focused brief therapy
Solution focused brief therapy , often referred to as simply 'solution focused therapy' or 'brief therapy', is a type of talking therapy that is based upon social constructionist philosophy. It focuses on what clients want to achieve through therapy rather than on the problem that made them seek help...

 (SFBT).

During this period of her career, after her publications in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, she wrote her first book on divorce prevention: Divorce Busting
Divorce Busting
"Divorce Busting":A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again is a self-help book of practical solutions for saving and restoring relationships written by Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W....

, published in 1992. She opened her first Divorce Busting Center in Woodstock, Illinois. After moving to Boulder
Boulder, Colorado
Boulder is the county seat and most populous city of Boulder County and the 11th most populous city in the U.S. state of Colorado. Boulder is located at the base of the foothills of the Rocky Mountains at an elevation of...

, Colorado
Colorado
Colorado is a U.S. state that encompasses much of the Rocky Mountains as well as the northeastern portion of the Colorado Plateau and the western edge of the Great Plains...

, she opened her second Divorce Busting Center where she continues to see individuals and couples as a marriage and family therapist. Weiner-Davis says her patients are usually out of therapy in about six visits, while many marriage therapies last months or years. She advocates an action-based approach and asks each partner in a marriage to "provide what the other needs regardless of whether the giver understands it". She launched an online marital support website, Divorcebusting.com in June 1998. It attracts thousands of people each day. Her free Open Messageboard web forums gives the public a place and a way to communicate with Weiner-Davis and has become a place of last resort for many couples before they end up in divorce court.

Weiner-Davis is a clinical member and approved supervisor for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and a member of the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health. She is recognized by the National Board for Certified Counselors
National Board for Certified Counselors
The National Board for Certified Counselors, Inc. and Affiliates is a national certifying organization for professional counselors in the human services in the United States. It is an independent, not-for-profit credentialing organization based in Greensboro, North Carolina...

 (NBCC) to offer continuing education for certified counselors. Therapists from many countries come to the U.S. for her professional training seminars and some of her books and publications based on (SFBT) are used by university professors and professional organizations for classroom and continuing education credits. She also works directly over the phone with couples from many countries including Hong Kong, Singapore, India and Japan.

She is also involved in education and support in supplying advice for several online internet groups including Redbook
Redbook
Redbook is an American women's magazine published by the Hearst Corporation. It is one of the "Seven Sisters", a group of women's service magazines.-History:...

, Planet-Therapy.com, IVillage
IVillage
iVillage, Inc. is a media company that is owned by NBCUniversal. The site focuses on categories targeted at women, including Food, Health, Entertainment, Family, Beauty & Style. Additional businesses and brand extensions within iVillage Networks include iVillage UK, NBC Digital Health Network,...

, and The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists.

Weiner-Davis was a State-of-the-Art Faculty presenter in 2005 and in 2009 for the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference that is held every five years by The Milton H Erickson Foundation.

Books

In 1989 Weiner-Davis co-authored her first book, In Search of Solutions:A New Direction in Psychotherapy with Bill O'Hanlon
Bill O'Hanlon
Bill O'Hanlon, M.S., is psychotherapist, prolific author, and popular workshop presenter. He co-developed Solution-Oriented Therapy, a form of Solution focused brief therapy, has authored or co-authored over 28 books , and has given over two thousand workshop...

. This book was aimed at practicing psychotherapists and based on the principles of Solution focused brief therapy
Solution focused brief therapy
Solution focused brief therapy , often referred to as simply 'solution focused therapy' or 'brief therapy', is a type of talking therapy that is based upon social constructionist philosophy. It focuses on what clients want to achieve through therapy rather than on the problem that made them seek help...

 (SFBT), which is said to have derived in part from the influence and work of Milton H. Erickson
Milton H. Erickson
Milton Hyland Erickson, was an American psychiatrist specializing in medical hypnosis and family therapy...

 and their research from the Brief Family Therapy Center. A revised second edition of the book In Search of Solutions, which contained new material in the advances in the field of (SFBT), was re-released in 2003.

After years of experience in private practice Weiner-Davis came to the conclusion that in many cases divorced couples were merely exchanging one set of problems for another. She desired to translate the principles of (SFBT) into everyday English and to spread the word of its effective use, believing that most marriages are worth saving and their problems solvable. To accomplish this goal she wrote the self-help book Divorce Busting: A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again
Divorce Busting
"Divorce Busting":A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again is a self-help book of practical solutions for saving and restoring relationships written by Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W....

. The book challenged mainstream psychotherapeutic techniques at the time and gave her national recognition as a notable therapist in family therapy
Family therapy
Family therapy, also referred to as couple and family therapy, family systems therapy, and family counseling, is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of...

. Weiner-Davis believed that far from the traditional fairy-tale notion of "happily ever after," successful marriages involve working through and surviving problems, setbacks, and conflicts to become stronger. The core of the book's principles is that even if only one spouse desired to save the relationship or make a change, a marriage could be saved.

In 1996 Weiner-Davis released her third book, Change Your Life and Everyone In It: How to. It was written in order to expand upon the other more personal issues outside of relationships that she believed an effective (SFBT) approach might be able to solve or help with. The book used real life case examples of past experiences she had seen during therapy over the years in helping others to deal with personal problems caused by stress
Stress (biology)
Stress is a term in psychology and biology, borrowed from physics and engineering and first used in the biological context in the 1930s, which has in more recent decades become commonly used in popular parlance...

, depression
Depression (mood)
Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being. Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, or restless...

 and anxiety
Anxiety
Anxiety is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral components. The root meaning of the word anxiety is 'to vex or trouble'; in either presence or absence of psychological stress, anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness,...

. The book was originally released in 1995 with the title Fire Your Shrink! before being renamed. She outlines techniques which break with traditional psychotherapy and focuses on finding solutions rather than root causes of problems. Weiner Davis said her practice focuses on the future rather than the past and commented that: "Analyzing the past can be enlightening and educational, but can be a complete waste of time....This should not be called psychotherapy. It's a process of change, not introspection
Introspection
Introspection is the self-observation and reporting of conscious inner thoughts, desires and sensations. It is a conscious and purposive process relying on thinking, reasoning, and examining one's own thoughts, feelings, and, in more spiritual cases, one's soul...

".

In 1999 Weiner-Davis wrote her 4th book Getting Through to the Man You Love:The No-Nonsense, No-Nagging Guide for Women. This book was written for women in an attempt to help women get through to their spouse more effectively. The book was based on both personal experiences during therapy with women and the trend in divorce rates that show women file for divorce two-thirds of the time.

In 2001 Weiner-Davis released a sequel to Divorce Busting
Divorce Busting
"Divorce Busting":A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again is a self-help book of practical solutions for saving and restoring relationships written by Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W....

, The Divorce Remedy:The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage. After hearing from thousands of readers over the years who asked particular questions about their own marital circumstances, Weiner-Davis extracted the ideas from her experience and past books and then broke down the ideas into seven specific steps a person could follow. She also discusses some other key relationship issues such as depression
Depression (mood)
Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being. Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, or restless...

, infidelity
Infidelity
In many intimate relationships in many cultures there is usually an express or implied expectation of exclusivity, especially in sexual matters. Infidelity most commonly refers to a breach of the expectation of sexual exclusivity.Infidelity can occur in relation to physical intimacy and/or...

, Internet obsession
Internet addiction disorder
Internet addiction disorder , or, more broadly, Internet overuse, problematic computer use or pathological computer use, is excessive computer use that interferes with daily life...

, sexual problems & midlife crisis
Midlife Crisis
"Midlife Crisis" is a song by the American rock band Faith No More. It was released on May 26, 1992 as the first single from their fourth album, Angel Dust...

.

In 2003 Weiner-Davis released her book The Sex-Starved Marriage: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido. She found herself writing about this particular subject after she saw a pattern developing in her practice and determined that a lack of physical intimacy between couples had been leading couples further apart. The book was written in order to take a more proactive stance to help married couples achieve better relationships before their love fades.

Her last book The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire was released in 2008. The book was undertaken after Weiner-Davis was unindated with telephone calls and letters from many women who said they were having this issue within their marriage and were seeking information to resolve the issue with their husbands. To help determine the extent of the issue Weiner-Davis did a study with the help of Redbook
Redbook
Redbook is an American women's magazine published by the Hearst Corporation. It is one of the "Seven Sisters", a group of women's service magazines.-History:...

which showed that two-thirds of the women who responded said they desired sex at least as much or more as their husbands did.

In mass media

Weiner-Davis made her first television appearance on the talk show Donahue
Donahue
Donahue is the Americanized version of Irish surname Donohoe, which, in turn, is an Anglicized version of the ancient Irish name "Donnchadh" ....

, reporting that 85% of the couples using the methods and advice of Solution Focused Brief Therapy
Solution focused brief therapy
Solution focused brief therapy , often referred to as simply 'solution focused therapy' or 'brief therapy', is a type of talking therapy that is based upon social constructionist philosophy. It focuses on what clients want to achieve through therapy rather than on the problem that made them seek help...

 (SFBT) were leaving from her therapy with their marriages intact.

She also made two other guest appearances on the talk show The Oprah Winfrey Show
The Oprah Winfrey Show
The Oprah Winfrey Show is an American syndicated talk show hosted and produced by its namesake Oprah Winfrey. It ran nationally for 25 seasons beginning in 1986, before concluding in 2011. It is the highest-rated talk show in American television history....

as well, discussing publicly that these new and innovative but simple approaches using the methods of (SFBT) could save relationships and make marriages stronger, contending that a person did not need a degree in psychology in order to improve their marriage.

The success of Weiner-Davis last two books, The Sex-Starved Marriage and The Sex-Starved Wife, caused Weiner-Davis to appear on several television news programs including Today, ABC News 20/20, The CBS Early Show
The Early Show
The Early Show is an American television morning news talk show broadcast by CBS from New York City. The program airs live from 7 to 9 a.m. Eastern Time Monday through Friday; most affiliates in the Central, Mountain, and Pacific time zones air the show on tape-delay from 7 to 9 a.m. local time. ...

, The O'Reilly Factor
The O'Reilly Factor
The O'Reilly Factor, originally titled The O'Reilly Report from 1996 to 1998 and often called The Factor, is an American talk show on the Fox News Channel hosted by commentator Bill O'Reilly, who often discusses current controversial political issues with guests.The program was the most watched...

, and PBS.

Over the span of her career Weiner-Davis has been interviewed and referenced to in a number of newspaper and magazine articles including The New York Times
The New York Times
The New York Times is an American daily newspaper founded and continuously published in New York City since 1851. The New York Times has won 106 Pulitzer Prizes, the most of any news organization...

, Time
Time (magazine)
Time is an American news magazine. A European edition is published from London. Time Europe covers the Middle East, Africa and, since 2003, Latin America. An Asian edition is based in Hong Kong...

, Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times
The Los Angeles Times is a daily newspaper published in Los Angeles, California, since 1881. It was the second-largest metropolitan newspaper in circulation in the United States in 2008 and the fourth most widely distributed newspaper in the country....

, Chicago Tribune
Chicago Tribune
The Chicago Tribune is a major daily newspaper based in Chicago, Illinois, and the flagship publication of the Tribune Company. Formerly self-styled as the "World's Greatest Newspaper" , it remains the most read daily newspaper of the Chicago metropolitan area and the Great Lakes region and is...

, Newsweek
Newsweek
Newsweek is an American weekly news magazine published in New York City. It is distributed throughout the United States and internationally. It is the second-largest news weekly magazine in the U.S., having trailed Time in circulation and advertising revenue for most of its existence...

, USA Today
USA Today
USA Today is a national American daily newspaper published by the Gannett Company. It was founded by Al Neuharth. The newspaper vies with The Wall Street Journal for the position of having the widest circulation of any newspaper in the United States, something it previously held since 2003...

, Cosmopolitan
Cosmopolitan (magazine)
Cosmopolitan is an international magazine for women. It was first published in 1886 in the United States as a family magazine, was later transformed into a literary magazine and eventually became a women's magazine in the late 1960s...

, Daily News, The Washington Times
The Washington Times
The Washington Times is a daily broadsheet newspaper published in Washington, D.C., the capital of the United States. It was founded in 1982 by Unification Church founder Sun Myung Moon, and until 2010 was owned by News World Communications, an international media conglomerate associated with the...

, U.S. News & World Report
U.S. News & World Report
U.S. News & World Report is an American news magazine published from Washington, D.C. Along with Time and Newsweek it was for many years a leading news weekly, focusing more than its counterparts on political, economic, health and education stories...

.

Weiner-Davis has also been involved in a reality based show for the BBC
BBC
The British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...

 about helping couples save their marriages.

Recognition

Weiner-Davis, along with 21 other American therapists, was profiled in the 2003 book Bad Therapy: Master Therapists Share Their Worst Failures by Jeffrey Kottler and Jon Carlson. In it Weiner-Davis describes how she could sometimes tend to focus more on technique as a young therapist and then how she eventually learned from those experiences with couples how to become a better therapist.

Weiner-Davis received an award for Outstanding Contribution to Marriage and Family Therapy in 2001 from The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy is the professional association for the field of marriage and family therapy representing more than 25,000 marriage and family therapists throughout the United States, Canada, and abroad....

(AAMFT), which represents the professional interests of more than 24,000 marriage and family therapists throughout the United States, Canada and abroad.

Weiner-Davis received an Impact Award during the 7th Annual Smart Marriages Conference (The Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education) in 2003. According to their website, "the Impact Awards are presented to those whose research, books, political or grassroots action, leadership and brilliant reconceptualizations have given us new hope about reversing the epidemic of divorce and family breakdown".

Weiner-Davis received The Washington Times Inaugural Founding Spirit Award in 2007 recognizing her work in community activism.
The source of this article is wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.  The text of this article is licensed under the GFDL.
 
x
OK