Negiah
Encyclopedia
Negiah literally "touch," is the concept in Halakha
that forbids or restricts physical contact with a member of the opposite sex (except for one's spouse, children, siblings, grandchildren, parents, and grandparents). A person who abides by this Halakha is colloquially described as a Shomer Negiah (one who is "observant of Negiah").
The laws of Negiah are typically followed by Orthodox Jews, with varying levels of observance. Some Orthodox Jews follow the laws with strict modesty and take measures to avoid accidental contact, such as avoiding sitting next to a member of the opposite sex on a bus, airplane, or other similar seating situation. Others are more lenient, only avoiding purposeful contact. Adherents of Conservative
and Reform Judaism
do not usually follow these laws.
: "Any man shall not approach his close relative to uncover nakedness; I am God" (18:6), and: "You shall not approach a woman in her time of unclean separation, to uncover her nakedness" (18:19). Although the verses speak in the masculine gender, women are equally bound by these commandments, just as they are obligated in virtually all negative commandments.
The former verse is viewed by the Tannaim
of late antiquity (70-200 CE) as referring to an expansive prohibition against "coming near" any of the Arayot, or Biblically prohibited relations, which includes most close relatives. The latter verse is viewed as referring to the prohibition against "coming near" any woman who is in Niddah
status (menstruating
) [whether or not she is otherwise one of the Arayot]. The same actions are forbidden under both verses.
The prohibition against physical contact with Arayot is codified by Rishonim
including the Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:1) and the Sefer Mitzvos Gadol
(126), who note the consideration of whether the contact is done "Derech Taavah" - in a[n affectionate or] lustful manner. The Biblical etiology of Rambam's prohibition is disputed by Ramban
, who refers to the derivation from Leviticus 18:6 as an Asmachta
(a Rabbinic prohibition with a Biblical allusion) and not true exegesis
.
Rambam and Shulchan Aruch
formulate this prohibition as "hugging, kissing, or enjoying close physical contact" ("chibek venashak veneheneh bekiruv basar"). They do not indicate that mere touching is forbidden.
authorities. For example, Negiah is the subject of a series of four important responsa
by Rav Moshe Feinstein
.
R' Moshe's elaborates the two prohibitions underlying the laws of Negiah. The first law is derived from a Biblical prohibition against close contact with Arayot, as described above. Because all women above the age of 11 are presumed to fall into the category of Arayot due to Niddah, it follows that the Negiah prohibition extends to all women above that age, not only to the other Arayot prohibited by the Biblical text. The second derives from the notion of Hirhur, a prohibition against having inappropriate sexual thoughts. R' Moshe prohibits such acts as hugging, kissing, and holding hands. With regard to shaking hands, see below.
Like most laws, these prohibitions are waived to save a person who is in life-threatening danger, e.g. for a man to save a woman from drowning. In such cases, the prohibitions are waived even if the male rescuer is certain that he will experience improper thoughts (Hirhur). Furthermore, medical practitioners and other professionals such as hairdressers may touch members of the opposite sex in the course of their professional practice.
Some authorities prohibit returning a handshake, even to avoid embarrassing the other person. For example, the Chazon Ish has been quoted as stating that shaking hands between men and women is "absolutely forbidden" [implying that it is forbidden under all circumstances]. This is also the opinion of Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky
, Rabbi Moshe Stern (the Debretziner Rav), Rav Yitzchak Abadi, the Ben Ish Chai
, and Sefer Chassidim.
R' Moshe Feinstein gives the benefit of the doubt to those who return a handshake, stating that they apparently hold that doing so is not Derech Chiba v'Taavah, but concludes that such leniency is difficult to rely upon. Although R' Moshe did not address the mitigating factor of preventing the other person from being embarrassed, and fell short of stating outright that returning a handshake is forbidden, it is commonly assumed that R' Moshe prohibits returning a handshake even to avoid embarrassing the other person. One publication states this in very strong terms. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky
has also suggested that there may be room to be lenient in this situation.
Rav Aaron Soloveichik
has been quoted as giving a novel basis for permitting handshaking, based on the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud
) and the ruling of the Rambam (Maimonides). Likewise, Rav Yehuda Henkin holds that it is permissible to shake a woman's hand according to "the basic halacha" (the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch), and that those who feel otherwise are stringent. Rav Hershel Schachter
quotes Rav Chaim Berlin
as saying that shaking hands with women is strictly speaking (me'ikar haddin) permitted, particularly if to do otherwise would make the Torah look bad, and indicates that he agrees with this position.
According to Halichos Bas Yisrael, only German Rabbis have traditionally permitted returning a handshake; and a man who is stringent about shaking hands may be lenient and shake hands with his sister (and vice versa), since we find other leniencies concerning brother and sister.
The Career Development Center at Yeshiva University
, a Modern Orthodox institution, informs its students that "Shaking hands is a customary part of the interview process. Halacha permits non-affectionate contact between men and women when necessary. A quick handshake can be assumed to be business protocol. Since failure to shake hands will most likely have a strong negative effect on the outcome, it is necessary non-affectionate contact, which is permissible."
has written that refusing to shake hands with a woman engenders the respect of the non-observant. In contrast, some people view the practice of those who follow the stringent view and do not shake hands with members of the opposite sex as offensive or discourteous. Some even view it as a manifestation of sexism. The case of a woman whose offer of a handshake was politely declined by her real estate agent is discussed by New York Times "Ethicist" Randy Cohen. Orthodox legal scholar Michael Broyde
, Rabbi of the Young Israel of Toco Hills and Professor of Law at Emory University
, has opined that in the case discussed by Cohen, the values of gender equality and of religious freedom are in conflict. However, others argue that the "intent [of the practice is] to elevate and sanctify the relationship between men and women, which is all too often trivialized." They further state that, rather than showing a lack of respect for the opposite gender, the laws of Negiah recognize the inherent sexual attraction between the sexes and the need to avoid viewing members of the opposite gender as objects of sexual desire, except in the marital context. Moreover, the practice is not discriminatory because "strictly observant Jewish women also do not touch men, so the prohibition clearly does not confer 'untouchable' status on one sex or another. Rather it proscribes physical contact between the sexes equally."
Cohen, on the other hand, likens this argument to the "separate but equal" status rejected in school desegregation cases.
Halakha
Halakha — also transliterated Halocho , or Halacha — is the collective body of Jewish law, including biblical law and later talmudic and rabbinic law, as well as customs and traditions.Judaism classically draws no distinction in its laws between religious and ostensibly non-religious life; Jewish...
that forbids or restricts physical contact with a member of the opposite sex (except for one's spouse, children, siblings, grandchildren, parents, and grandparents). A person who abides by this Halakha is colloquially described as a Shomer Negiah (one who is "observant of Negiah").
The laws of Negiah are typically followed by Orthodox Jews, with varying levels of observance. Some Orthodox Jews follow the laws with strict modesty and take measures to avoid accidental contact, such as avoiding sitting next to a member of the opposite sex on a bus, airplane, or other similar seating situation. Others are more lenient, only avoiding purposeful contact. Adherents of Conservative
Conservative Judaism
Conservative Judaism is a modern stream of Judaism that arose out of intellectual currents in Germany in the mid-19th century and took institutional form in the United States in the early 1900s.Conservative Judaism has its roots in the school of thought known as Positive-Historical Judaism,...
and Reform Judaism
Reform Judaism
Reform Judaism refers to various beliefs, practices and organizations associated with the Reform Jewish movement in North America, the United Kingdom and elsewhere. In general, it maintains that Judaism and Jewish traditions should be modernized and should be compatible with participation in the...
do not usually follow these laws.
Biblical prohibition and subsequent exegesis
The prohibition of Negiah is derived from two verses in LeviticusLeviticus
The Book of Leviticus is the third book of the Hebrew Bible, and the third of five books of the Torah ....
: "Any man shall not approach his close relative to uncover nakedness; I am God" (18:6), and: "You shall not approach a woman in her time of unclean separation, to uncover her nakedness" (18:19). Although the verses speak in the masculine gender, women are equally bound by these commandments, just as they are obligated in virtually all negative commandments.
The former verse is viewed by the Tannaim
Tannaim
The Tannaim were the Rabbinic sages whose views are recorded in the Mishnah, from approximately 70-200 CE. The period of the Tannaim, also referred to as the Mishnaic period, lasted about 130 years...
of late antiquity (70-200 CE) as referring to an expansive prohibition against "coming near" any of the Arayot, or Biblically prohibited relations, which includes most close relatives. The latter verse is viewed as referring to the prohibition against "coming near" any woman who is in Niddah
Niddah
Niddah is a Hebrew term describing a woman during menstruation, or a woman who has menstruated and not yet completed the associated requirement of immersion in a mikveh ....
status (menstruating
Menstruation
Menstruation is the shedding of the uterine lining . It occurs on a regular basis in sexually reproductive-age females of certain mammal species. This article focuses on human menstruation.-Overview:...
) [whether or not she is otherwise one of the Arayot]. The same actions are forbidden under both verses.
The prohibition against physical contact with Arayot is codified by Rishonim
Rishonim
"Rishon" redirects here. For the preon model in particle physics, see Harari Rishon Model. For the Israeli town, see Rishon LeZion.Rishonim were the leading Rabbis and Poskim who lived approximately during the 11th to 15th centuries, in the era before the writing of the Shulkhan Arukh and...
including the Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:1) and the Sefer Mitzvos Gadol
Moses ben Jacob of Coucy
Moses ben Jacob of Coucy was a French Tosafist and authority on Halakha . He is best known as author of one of the earliest codifications of Halakha, the Sefer Mitzvot Gadol.-Biography:...
(126), who note the consideration of whether the contact is done "Derech Taavah" - in a[n affectionate or] lustful manner. The Biblical etiology of Rambam's prohibition is disputed by Ramban
Ramban
Ramban, RaMBaN can refer to:* Nahmanides , Rabbi Moshe ben Nahman, Catalan rabbi, philosopher, physician, Kabbalist and biblical commentator* Ramban Synagogue in East Jerusalem* Cave of the Ramban in East Jerusalem...
, who refers to the derivation from Leviticus 18:6 as an Asmachta
Asmachta
In Jewish law, an Asmachta is a conditional commitment or promise that a person makes, but actually has no intention of keeping. The agreement is not considered binding, and the commitment is considered null and void....
(a Rabbinic prohibition with a Biblical allusion) and not true exegesis
Exegesis
Exegesis is a critical explanation or interpretation of a text, especially a religious text. Traditionally the term was used primarily for exegesis of the Bible; however, in contemporary usage it has broadened to mean a critical explanation of any text, and the term "Biblical exegesis" is used...
.
Rambam and Shulchan Aruch
Shulchan Aruch
The Shulchan Aruch also known as the Code of Jewish Law, is the most authoritative legal code of Judaism. It was authored in Safed, Israel, by Yosef Karo in 1563 and published in Venice two years later...
formulate this prohibition as "hugging, kissing, or enjoying close physical contact" ("chibek venashak veneheneh bekiruv basar"). They do not indicate that mere touching is forbidden.
Contemporary formulations
The prohibition has been further elaborated on by many contemporary HalachicHalakha
Halakha — also transliterated Halocho , or Halacha — is the collective body of Jewish law, including biblical law and later talmudic and rabbinic law, as well as customs and traditions.Judaism classically draws no distinction in its laws between religious and ostensibly non-religious life; Jewish...
authorities. For example, Negiah is the subject of a series of four important responsa
Responsa
Responsa comprise a body of written decisions and rulings given by legal scholars in response to questions addressed to them.-In the Roman Empire:Roman law recognised responsa prudentium, i.e...
by Rav Moshe Feinstein
Moshe Feinstein
Moshe Feinstein was a Lithuanian Orthodox rabbi, scholar and posek , who was world-renowned for his expertise in Halakha and was regarded by many as the de facto supreme halakhic authority for Orthodox Jewry of North America during his lifetime...
.
R' Moshe's elaborates the two prohibitions underlying the laws of Negiah. The first law is derived from a Biblical prohibition against close contact with Arayot, as described above. Because all women above the age of 11 are presumed to fall into the category of Arayot due to Niddah, it follows that the Negiah prohibition extends to all women above that age, not only to the other Arayot prohibited by the Biblical text. The second derives from the notion of Hirhur, a prohibition against having inappropriate sexual thoughts. R' Moshe prohibits such acts as hugging, kissing, and holding hands. With regard to shaking hands, see below.
Like most laws, these prohibitions are waived to save a person who is in life-threatening danger, e.g. for a man to save a woman from drowning. In such cases, the prohibitions are waived even if the male rescuer is certain that he will experience improper thoughts (Hirhur). Furthermore, medical practitioners and other professionals such as hairdressers may touch members of the opposite sex in the course of their professional practice.
Shaking hands in Halacha
Whether halacha permits a man to shake a woman's hand is a matter of dispute. Opinions range from saying that it is prohibited for a man to even return a woman's handshake even if doing so would embarrass him or her, to saying that returning a handshake is permissible to avoid embarrassment but not otherwise, to saying that handshaking is entirely permissible.Some authorities prohibit returning a handshake, even to avoid embarrassing the other person. For example, the Chazon Ish has been quoted as stating that shaking hands between men and women is "absolutely forbidden" [implying that it is forbidden under all circumstances]. This is also the opinion of Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as The Steipler or The Steipler Gaon , was a rabbi, Talmudic scholar, and posek .-Biography:...
, Rabbi Moshe Stern (the Debretziner Rav), Rav Yitzchak Abadi, the Ben Ish Chai
Ben Ish Chai
Yosef Chaim or in Iraqi Hebrew Yoseph Ḥayyim was a leading hakham , authority on Jewish law and Master Kabbalist...
, and Sefer Chassidim.
R' Moshe Feinstein gives the benefit of the doubt to those who return a handshake, stating that they apparently hold that doing so is not Derech Chiba v'Taavah, but concludes that such leniency is difficult to rely upon. Although R' Moshe did not address the mitigating factor of preventing the other person from being embarrassed, and fell short of stating outright that returning a handshake is forbidden, it is commonly assumed that R' Moshe prohibits returning a handshake even to avoid embarrassing the other person. One publication states this in very strong terms. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky
Yaakov Kamenetsky
Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky , was a prominent rosh yeshiva, posek and Talmudist in the post-World War II American Jewish community....
has also suggested that there may be room to be lenient in this situation.
Rav Aaron Soloveichik
Ahron Soloveichik
Rabbi Ahron Soloveichik; was a renowned scholar of Talmud, Halakha and a Rosh Yeshiva; known especially within circles of Orthodox Judaism.-Biography:...
has been quoted as giving a novel basis for permitting handshaking, based on the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud
Jerusalem Talmud
The Jerusalem Talmud, talmud meaning "instruction", "learning", , is a collection of Rabbinic notes on the 2nd-century Mishnah which was compiled in the Land of Israel during the 4th-5th century. The voluminous text is also known as the Palestinian Talmud or Talmud de-Eretz Yisrael...
) and the ruling of the Rambam (Maimonides). Likewise, Rav Yehuda Henkin holds that it is permissible to shake a woman's hand according to "the basic halacha" (the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch), and that those who feel otherwise are stringent. Rav Hershel Schachter
Hershel Schachter
Hershel Schachter is a rabbi and rosh yeshiva at Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary , Yeshiva University, in New York City, and the son of the late Rabbi Melech Schachter, who was also a rosh yeshiva at Yeshiva University...
quotes Rav Chaim Berlin
Chaim Berlin
Chaim Berlin was an Orthodox rabbi and chief rabbi of Moscow from 1865 to 1889. He was the son of Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin....
as saying that shaking hands with women is strictly speaking (me'ikar haddin) permitted, particularly if to do otherwise would make the Torah look bad, and indicates that he agrees with this position.
According to Halichos Bas Yisrael, only German Rabbis have traditionally permitted returning a handshake; and a man who is stringent about shaking hands may be lenient and shake hands with his sister (and vice versa), since we find other leniencies concerning brother and sister.
The Career Development Center at Yeshiva University
Yeshiva University
Yeshiva University is a private university in New York City, with six campuses in New York and one in Israel. Founded in 1886, it is a research university ranked as 45th in the US among national universities by U.S. News & World Report in 2012...
, a Modern Orthodox institution, informs its students that "Shaking hands is a customary part of the interview process. Halacha permits non-affectionate contact between men and women when necessary. A quick handshake can be assumed to be business protocol. Since failure to shake hands will most likely have a strong negative effect on the outcome, it is necessary non-affectionate contact, which is permissible."
Shaking hands and relations with non-practitioners
The Lubavitcher RebbeMenachem Mendel Schneerson
Menachem Mendel Schneerson , known as the Lubavitcher Rebbe or just the Rebbe among his followers, was a prominent Hasidic rabbi who was the seventh and last Rebbe of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement. He was fifth in a direct paternal line to the third Chabad-Lubavitch Rebbe, Menachem Mendel...
has written that refusing to shake hands with a woman engenders the respect of the non-observant. In contrast, some people view the practice of those who follow the stringent view and do not shake hands with members of the opposite sex as offensive or discourteous. Some even view it as a manifestation of sexism. The case of a woman whose offer of a handshake was politely declined by her real estate agent is discussed by New York Times "Ethicist" Randy Cohen. Orthodox legal scholar Michael Broyde
Michael Broyde
Michael J. Broyde is a professor of law and the academic director of the Law and Religion Program at Emory University. He is also a senior fellow in the Center for the Study of Law and Religion at Emory University. His primary areas of interest are law and religion, Jewish law and ethics, and...
, Rabbi of the Young Israel of Toco Hills and Professor of Law at Emory University
Emory University
Emory University is a private research university in metropolitan Atlanta, located in the Druid Hills section of unincorporated DeKalb County, Georgia, United States. The university was founded as Emory College in 1836 in Oxford, Georgia by a small group of Methodists and was named in honor of...
, has opined that in the case discussed by Cohen, the values of gender equality and of religious freedom are in conflict. However, others argue that the "intent [of the practice is] to elevate and sanctify the relationship between men and women, which is all too often trivialized." They further state that, rather than showing a lack of respect for the opposite gender, the laws of Negiah recognize the inherent sexual attraction between the sexes and the need to avoid viewing members of the opposite gender as objects of sexual desire, except in the marital context. Moreover, the practice is not discriminatory because "strictly observant Jewish women also do not touch men, so the prohibition clearly does not confer 'untouchable' status on one sex or another. Rather it proscribes physical contact between the sexes equally."
Cohen, on the other hand, likens this argument to the "separate but equal" status rejected in school desegregation cases.
See also
- Jewish view of marriageJewish view of marriageIn Judaism, marriage is viewed as a contractual bond commanded by God in which a man and a woman come together to create a relationship in which God is directly involved. Though procreation is not the sole purpose, a Jewish marriage is also expected to fulfill the commandment to have children. The...
- NiddahNiddahNiddah is a Hebrew term describing a woman during menstruation, or a woman who has menstruated and not yet completed the associated requirement of immersion in a mikveh ....
(menstruation laws) - Shalom bayitShalom bayitShalom bayit is the Jewish religious concept of domestic harmony and good relations between husband and wife. In a Jewish court of law, shalom bayit is the Hebrew term for marital reconciliation...
(peace and harmony in the relationship between husband and wife) - TzniutTzniutTzniut is a term used within Judaism and has its greatest influence as a concept within Orthodox Judaism...
(modest behavior) - YichudYichudThe prohibition of yichud , in Halakha is the impermissibility of seclusion of a man and a woman who are not married to each other in a private area. Such seclusion is prohibited in order to prevent the two from being tempted or having the opportunity to commit adulterous or promiscuous acts.The...
(prohibitions of secluding oneself with a stranger)