Nina de Vries
Encyclopedia
Nina de Vries is a Dutch
sex worker
or sexual surrogate
who offers erotic massage
s to intellectually disabled
men and women in Berlin
and other parts of Germany
. She also trains others to do the same.
De Vries is nude when she massages her clients; these massages include embracing and caressing and sometimes culminate in her masturbating
her clients to orgasm
. She does not offer vaginal
or oral sex
. When needed her clients are accompanied by a caregiver or relative; these chaperons wait next door and may afterwards discuss the session with de Vries. Some of her typical clients have Down's syndrome, autism
or suffered brain damage
after an accident. Some of them are so severely limited that they communicate mainly by smiling or frowning. The services are not covered by German health insurers, but the welfare agency has occasionally paid for destitute clients. The price (in 2003) was €
80 per hour and € 110 when she visits clients in institutions (in Berlin) for disabled people.
De Vries does not reject the label "prostitute"; she herself uses the term "sexual assistant" . Prostitution is legal in Germany (see prostitution in Germany
), and sexual services for physically disabled persons are accepted and readily available; since 1995 the agency Sensis in Wiesbaden
has connected clients and providers.
Sexual services for the severely mentally disabled are controversial, however: some think that these people should be treated as equivalent to children, and therefore cannot give valid permission, or do not need to engage in sexual behavior. Others fear that de Vries might misinterpret the often very subtle communication attempts of her clients. She maintains that although her clients may not be able to communicate verbally they usually are very clear in their communication; they do have a need for sexuality, and denial of this essential human need may lead to aggression or auto-aggression. She says the art is to relate in a careful and gentle way to establish a contact and to find out exactly what somebody wants and what he or she does not want. In her opinion and experience it is possible to work in a respectful way also with people who cannot communicate verbally.
De Vries trained as a therapist in the Netherlands
and has lived in Berlin since 1990. In 1994 she started to offer erotic massages to regular clients, beginning in 1997 also to the disabled. Since 1999 she has worked almost exclusively with mentally disabled men; she appears to be the first person in Germany to do so. German newspapers have repeatedly covered her work and several documentaries were broadcast on German, Austrian and Swiss television.
In April 2003, she was asked to train sexual assistants for the disabled in Zürich
. These attempts faltered when the sponsoring organization, Pro Infirmis, encountered resistance and suffered a considerable drop in donations. A separate organization was founded in November 2003 to pursue the project, and de Vries trained 6 women and 4 men as Sexualbegleiter from January until June 2004. Erotic massages have since been provided to the disabled in the German speaking parts of Switzerland. The Swiss organization announced in August 2006 that it was planning to offer full sexual intercourse
to its clients, including to homosexuals.
Netherlands
The Netherlands is a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, located mainly in North-West Europe and with several islands in the Caribbean. Mainland Netherlands borders the North Sea to the north and west, Belgium to the south, and Germany to the east, and shares maritime borders...
sex worker
Sex worker
A sex worker is a person who works in the sex industry. The term is usually used in reference to those in the sex industry that actually provide such sexual services, as opposed to management and staff of such industries...
or sexual surrogate
Sexual surrogate
A sexual surrogate is a member of a sex therapy team who engages in intimate physical relations or sex with a patient in order to achieve a therapeutic goal. The practice was introduced by Masters and Johnson with their work on Human Sexual Inadequacy in 1970.Most surrogates are women, a few are...
who offers erotic massage
Massage
Massage is the manipulation of superficial and deeper layers of muscle and connective tissue to enhance function, aid in the healing process, and promote relaxation and well-being. The word comes from the French massage "friction of kneading", or from Arabic massa meaning "to touch, feel or handle"...
s to intellectually disabled
Mental retardation
Mental retardation is a generalized disorder appearing before adulthood, characterized by significantly impaired cognitive functioning and deficits in two or more adaptive behaviors...
men and women in Berlin
Berlin
Berlin is the capital city of Germany and is one of the 16 states of Germany. With a population of 3.45 million people, Berlin is Germany's largest city. It is the second most populous city proper and the seventh most populous urban area in the European Union...
and other parts of Germany
Germany
Germany , officially the Federal Republic of Germany , is a federal parliamentary republic in Europe. The country consists of 16 states while the capital and largest city is Berlin. Germany covers an area of 357,021 km2 and has a largely temperate seasonal climate...
. She also trains others to do the same.
De Vries is nude when she massages her clients; these massages include embracing and caressing and sometimes culminate in her masturbating
Masturbation
Masturbation refers to sexual stimulation of a person's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed manually, by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods. Masturbation is a common form of autoeroticism...
her clients to orgasm
Orgasm
Orgasm is the peak of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle, characterized by an intense sensation of pleasure...
. She does not offer vaginal
Sexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse, also known as copulation or coitus, commonly refers to the act in which a male's penis enters a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction. The entities may be of opposite sexes, or they may be hermaphroditic, as is the case with snails...
or oral sex
Oral sex
Oral sex is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a sex partner by the use of the mouth, tongue, teeth or throat. Cunnilingus refers to oral sex performed on females while fellatio refer to oral sex performed on males. Anilingus refers to oral stimulation of a person's anus...
. When needed her clients are accompanied by a caregiver or relative; these chaperons wait next door and may afterwards discuss the session with de Vries. Some of her typical clients have Down's syndrome, autism
Autism
Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. Autism affects information processing in the brain by altering how nerve cells and their...
or suffered brain damage
Brain damage
"Brain damage" or "brain injury" is the destruction or degeneration of brain cells. Brain injuries occur due to a wide range of internal and external factors...
after an accident. Some of them are so severely limited that they communicate mainly by smiling or frowning. The services are not covered by German health insurers, but the welfare agency has occasionally paid for destitute clients. The price (in 2003) was €
Euro
The euro is the official currency of the eurozone: 17 of the 27 member states of the European Union. It is also the currency used by the Institutions of the European Union. The eurozone consists of Austria, Belgium, Cyprus, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg,...
80 per hour and € 110 when she visits clients in institutions (in Berlin) for disabled people.
De Vries does not reject the label "prostitute"; she herself uses the term "sexual assistant" . Prostitution is legal in Germany (see prostitution in Germany
Prostitution in Germany
Prostitution in Germany is legal, and so are brothels. In 2002, the government changed the law in an effort to improve the legal situation of prostitutes. However, the social stigmatization of prostitutes persists and many prostitutes continue to lead a double life...
), and sexual services for physically disabled persons are accepted and readily available; since 1995 the agency Sensis in Wiesbaden
Wiesbaden
Wiesbaden is a city in southwest Germany and the capital of the federal state of Hesse. It has about 275,400 inhabitants, plus approximately 10,000 United States citizens...
has connected clients and providers.
Sexual services for the severely mentally disabled are controversial, however: some think that these people should be treated as equivalent to children, and therefore cannot give valid permission, or do not need to engage in sexual behavior. Others fear that de Vries might misinterpret the often very subtle communication attempts of her clients. She maintains that although her clients may not be able to communicate verbally they usually are very clear in their communication; they do have a need for sexuality, and denial of this essential human need may lead to aggression or auto-aggression. She says the art is to relate in a careful and gentle way to establish a contact and to find out exactly what somebody wants and what he or she does not want. In her opinion and experience it is possible to work in a respectful way also with people who cannot communicate verbally.
De Vries trained as a therapist in the Netherlands
Netherlands
The Netherlands is a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, located mainly in North-West Europe and with several islands in the Caribbean. Mainland Netherlands borders the North Sea to the north and west, Belgium to the south, and Germany to the east, and shares maritime borders...
and has lived in Berlin since 1990. In 1994 she started to offer erotic massages to regular clients, beginning in 1997 also to the disabled. Since 1999 she has worked almost exclusively with mentally disabled men; she appears to be the first person in Germany to do so. German newspapers have repeatedly covered her work and several documentaries were broadcast on German, Austrian and Swiss television.
In April 2003, she was asked to train sexual assistants for the disabled in Zürich
Zürich
Zurich is the largest city in Switzerland and the capital of the canton of Zurich. It is located in central Switzerland at the northwestern tip of Lake Zurich...
. These attempts faltered when the sponsoring organization, Pro Infirmis, encountered resistance and suffered a considerable drop in donations. A separate organization was founded in November 2003 to pursue the project, and de Vries trained 6 women and 4 men as Sexualbegleiter from January until June 2004. Erotic massages have since been provided to the disabled in the German speaking parts of Switzerland. The Swiss organization announced in August 2006 that it was planning to offer full sexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse, also known as copulation or coitus, commonly refers to the act in which a male's penis enters a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction. The entities may be of opposite sexes, or they may be hermaphroditic, as is the case with snails...
to its clients, including to homosexuals.
See also
- Asta PhilpotAsta PhilpotAsta Anthony Philpot is an American man living in Leeds , who was the protagonist of a 2007 BBC One documentary film titled For one night only. He is affected with arthrogryposis, which impairs, since his birth, his physical ability of movement...
is an advocate of the right of physically disabled people to paid sex.
Sources and further reading
- Claudia Fromme: Die Berührbare, Süddeutsche ZeitungSüddeutsche ZeitungThe Süddeutsche Zeitung , published in Munich, is the largest German national subscription daily newspaper.-Profile:The title literally translates as "South German Newspaper". It is read throughout Germany by 1.1 million readers daily and boasts a relatively high circulation abroad...
, 20 December 2003 (German) - Swissinfo articles on the efforts in Zürich (English):
- Zurich's disabled to get sexual relief 8 April 2003
- Disabled organisation withdraws sex project 11 September 2003
- Disabled sex "assistants" tackle taboo, 8 August 2006
- Sexualassistenz in der Schweiz (German)
- Christian Brüser: Die Berührbare, www.behindertenarbeit.at, 15 September 2004 (German)
- Martin Franke: Nina de Vries im Interview, 24 August 2004 (German)