Yo, you see this badge? You see this gun? You see this gooey white saccus membranous 'round my personhood? Well, you dealin' with a white blood cell here! I should be out in the veins, fightin' disease, not in the mouth on tartar control.

Osmosis Jones to dispatch. We got multiple germs - I repeat, multiple germs - comin' down the windpipe, and if these bad boys hit the blood stream, we're gonna be illin'. I'm talkin' nose-drippin', chicken soup-drinkin', rectal thermometer-stickin' illin'!

[The Chief asks Jones where he was in their conversation] Uh, you were just talking about promoting me to head of brain security.

[Thrax demands to know who the undercover Jones really is] Uh, "Bad Booty-Shaken Pickanosis", yeah, that's who I am.

[Drix shoves his gun arm into the flu shot's mouth and Osmosis gets an idea] Uh-oh, you done done it now, Chill. This guy's a psycho cop. You had your chance to spill it, but it's too late. This guy just got off the thorazine, and now he's Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! He's going El Pollo Loco on your crazy behind!

Funny. He dosn't look fluish.

[first line] Special Agent Drixo-Benzo-Medapedramine. [changes tone of voice to more commercial-friendly] Drixnol! The brand that eases your coughs and sneezes!

[first line] Careful, I'm contagious.

Think I'll turn up the heat in here!

Ebola? Let me tell you something about Ebola, baby. Ebola is a case of DANDRUFF compared to me!