Quaker wedding
Encyclopedia
Quaker weddings are the traditional ceremony of marriage
within the Religious Society of Friends
.
, founder of the Society of Friends, and Margaret Fell
married using a modification of this procedure in 1669.
Two years later, when Fox was in Barbados, he sent out another epistle. In this epistle, Fox advocated giving women's meetings the initial responsibility to pass on a couple's intentions when the couple had expressed a desire to be wed. This advice became quite controversial among those who did not want to see women's roles expanded.
to talk with the couple and make sure that they have properly prepared themselves for marriage. If the committee is clear that this couple is ready, they recommend that the monthly meeting should take this wedding “under their care” and appoint a committee to ensure the couple makes all the needed arrangements for the wedding ceremony. These duties vary but may include helping schedule the date, finding premarital counseling, making the Quaker marriage certificate, making sure the couple knows how to acquire and file any legal documents.
Some couples choose to marry within the meeting without registering their marriage with the government, a tradition dating back to Quakerism's earliest days. Meetings generally encourage couples to seek legal advice before undertaking this option. Common law marriage (also called "marriage by habit and repute"), by which a couple were legally married simply through cohabitation and by holding themselves out to the world to be husband and wife, is no longer a valid method of marriage in most American jurisdictions.
Meetings encourage Friends to seek legal advice before deciding against registering their marriage.
Same-sex couples can also be married with or without government documents in some meetings (see Homosexuality and Quakerism).
If a couple later needs to prove that they are married, the Quaker wedding certificate signed by witnesses at the ceremony may be sufficient in some states of the United States
. A few states have statutes that specifically recognize Quaker marriages in which ministers are not officiants are legal.
However, most Yearly Meetings and Monthly Meetings encourage Friends marrying under their care to obtain marriage licenses and have them signed by a representative of the Meeting and duly file the licenses with the state. This is a special concern since common law marriages, under which Quaker marriages were formerly valid in many states, no longer is legally recognized in the USA. There is some discomfort with the obtaining and filing of marriage licenses for heterosexual couples in Meetings in which the joining of homosexual or lesbian couples is recognized, because of the Quaker concern for equality. Various means of dealing with issue have been worked out in Monthly Meetings and Yearly Meetings.
, and therefore often very different from the experience expected by non-Friends. The attendees gather for silent worship, often with the couple sitting in front of the meeting (this may depend on the layout of the particular Friends meeting house
).
Out of the silence, the couple will exchange what the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting
describes as "promises" http://www.pym.org/publish/pamphlets/marriage.htm, and Britain Yearly Meeting
describes as "declarations" with each other. The promises are short, simple, and egalitarian, and can vary between different regions and meetings. Traditionally, Quakers do not swear or make oaths, because they intend to tell the truth at all times, and thus have no need of swearing.
Since traditionally Friends have no clergy
, there is no one person to “marry” them. Instead they believe that they are married by God
, and declare their intentions before God and those gathered. They believe that the marriage is merely "witnessed" by those present. George Fox
, a man important in the establishment of the Religious Society of Friends
wrote in 1669:
The administrative tasks associated with the marriage are completed by a Registering Officer, who is a person specially appointed by the Monthly Meeting
in which the couple are to be married. However, this person is purely responsible for the administration of matters such as the certificate, and does not "marry" the couple.
Usually, there are no bridesmaids or other special roles in the wedding other than that of bride and groom.
The couple then signs the Quaker wedding certificate. All those present are invited to give ministry with the gathered meeting as they feel led (as in any other Meeting for Worship
, see main article on the Society of Friends). At the close of worship all those present at the meeting are asked to sign the wedding certificate as witnesses. Often the certificate is hung prominently in the home of the couple as a reminder of the declarations they made, and of the people with whom they shared that moment of their lives.
are as follows (words in italics are optional):
The declarations may also be made in the Welsh language
.
from the 18th century to the present day. The first Marriage Act 1753
, which regulated the legal and civic recognition of marriage, recognised only marriages conducted by the "Society of Friends", Jews
and the Church of England
, and removed recognition of common law marriage or marriage conducted by any other religious group. Thus, Quakers' marriages were legally recognised at a time when marriages within other non-conformist traditions were not legally recognised.
This special exemption for Quakers has continued in subsequent Marriage Act
s in England and Wales
up to and including the Marriage Act 1949
which allows "marriage in according to the usages of the Society of Friends, commonly called Quakers". Quakers and Jews were exempt from the restrictions within the Marriage Act 1949
from the requirements to marry in certain approved locations or at certain times, so were the only groups who were (theoretically) allowed to, for example, marry outdoors or in the middle of the night (although in practice Quaker marriages are performed in a place where there is a regular Meeting for Worship held, so would not usually take place outside).
The law with regard to Quaker weddings in England and Wales
is based around Section 47 of the Marriage Act 1949
Marriages according to usages of the Society of Friends http://www.statutelaw.gov.uk/content.aspx?LegType=All+Legislation&title=marriage&searchEnacted=0&extentMatchOnly=0&confersPower=0&blanketAmendment=0&sortAlpha=0&TYPE=QS&PageNumber=1&NavFrom=0&parentActiveTextDocId=1134037&ActiveTextDocId=1134110&filesize=3879
Quaker marriages in England and Wales
have two marriage certificates:
licenses are available which require only the signatures of the bride and groom and witnesses.
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
within the Religious Society of Friends
Religious Society of Friends
The Religious Society of Friends, or Friends Church, is a Christian movement which stresses the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers. Members are known as Friends, or popularly as Quakers. It is made of independent organisations, which have split from one another due to doctrinal differences...
.
Quaker marriage in history
After the local meeting had approved the couple's intention, an announcement would be made and posted in the market on market day. After this the wedding could take place. Outsiders sometimes criticized Quaker couples for living in sin because they married each other without priests or ministers. George FoxGeorge Fox
George Fox was an English Dissenter and a founder of the Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as the Quakers or Friends.The son of a Leicestershire weaver, Fox lived in a time of great social upheaval and war...
, founder of the Society of Friends, and Margaret Fell
Margaret Fell
Margaret Fell or Margaret Fox was a founder of the Religious Society of Friends. Known popularly as the "mother of Quakerism", she is considered one of the Valiant Sixty early Quaker preachers and missionaries.-Life:...
married using a modification of this procedure in 1669.
Two years later, when Fox was in Barbados, he sent out another epistle. In this epistle, Fox advocated giving women's meetings the initial responsibility to pass on a couple's intentions when the couple had expressed a desire to be wed. This advice became quite controversial among those who did not want to see women's roles expanded.
Quaker marriage today
When a couple decide to get married they declare their intentions to marry to the meeting (either in writing or in person). The meeting then appoints a clearness committeeClearness committee
Within the Religious Society of Friends, the clearness committee represents a process for discernment. Clearness Committees are often used when a member of the meeting seeks to reach clarity on how to respond to a concern or dilemma...
to talk with the couple and make sure that they have properly prepared themselves for marriage. If the committee is clear that this couple is ready, they recommend that the monthly meeting should take this wedding “under their care” and appoint a committee to ensure the couple makes all the needed arrangements for the wedding ceremony. These duties vary but may include helping schedule the date, finding premarital counseling, making the Quaker marriage certificate, making sure the couple knows how to acquire and file any legal documents.
Some couples choose to marry within the meeting without registering their marriage with the government, a tradition dating back to Quakerism's earliest days. Meetings generally encourage couples to seek legal advice before undertaking this option. Common law marriage (also called "marriage by habit and repute"), by which a couple were legally married simply through cohabitation and by holding themselves out to the world to be husband and wife, is no longer a valid method of marriage in most American jurisdictions.
Meetings encourage Friends to seek legal advice before deciding against registering their marriage.
Same-sex couples can also be married with or without government documents in some meetings (see Homosexuality and Quakerism).
If a couple later needs to prove that they are married, the Quaker wedding certificate signed by witnesses at the ceremony may be sufficient in some states of the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
. A few states have statutes that specifically recognize Quaker marriages in which ministers are not officiants are legal.
However, most Yearly Meetings and Monthly Meetings encourage Friends marrying under their care to obtain marriage licenses and have them signed by a representative of the Meeting and duly file the licenses with the state. This is a special concern since common law marriages, under which Quaker marriages were formerly valid in many states, no longer is legally recognized in the USA. There is some discomfort with the obtaining and filing of marriage licenses for heterosexual couples in Meetings in which the joining of homosexual or lesbian couples is recognized, because of the Quaker concern for equality. Various means of dealing with issue have been worked out in Monthly Meetings and Yearly Meetings.
The marriage procedure
A traditional wedding ceremony in a Friends meeting is similar to any other Meeting for WorshipMeeting for worship
A meeting for worship is a practice of the Religious Society of Friends in many ways comparable to a church service. These services have a wide variety of forms, creating a spectrum from typical Protestant liturgy to silent waiting for the Spirit .A Meeting for Worship may start with a query;...
, and therefore often very different from the experience expected by non-Friends. The attendees gather for silent worship, often with the couple sitting in front of the meeting (this may depend on the layout of the particular Friends meeting house
Friends meeting house
A Friends meeting house is a meeting house of the Religious Society of Friends , where meeting for worship may be held.-History:Quakers do not believe that meeting for worship should take place in any special place. They believe that "where two or three meet together in my name, I am there among...
).
Out of the silence, the couple will exchange what the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting
Philadelphia Yearly Meeting
Philadelphia Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends, or simply Philadelphia Yearly Meeting or PYM, is the central organizing body for Quaker meetings in the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA, area....
describes as "promises" http://www.pym.org/publish/pamphlets/marriage.htm, and Britain Yearly Meeting
Britain Yearly Meeting
The Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain, also known as Britain Yearly Meeting , is a religious organisation in England, Scotland, Wales, the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man, often defined as a denomination of Christianity.It is a part of the international religious...
describes as "declarations" with each other. The promises are short, simple, and egalitarian, and can vary between different regions and meetings. Traditionally, Quakers do not swear or make oaths, because they intend to tell the truth at all times, and thus have no need of swearing.
Since traditionally Friends have no clergy
Clergy
Clergy is the generic term used to describe the formal religious leadership within a given religion. A clergyman, churchman or cleric is a member of the clergy, especially one who is a priest, preacher, pastor, or other religious professional....
, there is no one person to “marry” them. Instead they believe that they are married by God
God
God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism....
, and declare their intentions before God and those gathered. They believe that the marriage is merely "witnessed" by those present. George Fox
George Fox
George Fox was an English Dissenter and a founder of the Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as the Quakers or Friends.The son of a Leicestershire weaver, Fox lived in a time of great social upheaval and war...
, a man important in the establishment of the Religious Society of Friends
Religious Society of Friends
The Religious Society of Friends, or Friends Church, is a Christian movement which stresses the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers. Members are known as Friends, or popularly as Quakers. It is made of independent organisations, which have split from one another due to doctrinal differences...
wrote in 1669:
"For the right joining in marriage is the work of the Lord only, and not the priests' or the magistrates'; for it is God's ordinance and not man's; and therefore Friends cannot consent that they should join them together: for we marry none; it is the Lord's work, and we are but witnesses"
The administrative tasks associated with the marriage are completed by a Registering Officer, who is a person specially appointed by the Monthly Meeting
Monthly meeting
Monthly Meetings are, traditionally, the basic unit of administration in the Religious Society of Friends .For some Friends a Monthly Meeting is a single Meeting , while for others it is a grouping of Meetings which come together for administrative purposes. Membership in the Religious Society of...
in which the couple are to be married. However, this person is purely responsible for the administration of matters such as the certificate, and does not "marry" the couple.
Usually, there are no bridesmaids or other special roles in the wedding other than that of bride and groom.
The couple then signs the Quaker wedding certificate. All those present are invited to give ministry with the gathered meeting as they feel led (as in any other Meeting for Worship
Meeting for worship
A meeting for worship is a practice of the Religious Society of Friends in many ways comparable to a church service. These services have a wide variety of forms, creating a spectrum from typical Protestant liturgy to silent waiting for the Spirit .A Meeting for Worship may start with a query;...
, see main article on the Society of Friends). At the close of worship all those present at the meeting are asked to sign the wedding certificate as witnesses. Often the certificate is hung prominently in the home of the couple as a reminder of the declarations they made, and of the people with whom they shared that moment of their lives.
Declarations
The declarations made by the couple in meetings for worship for the solemnisation of marriage in Britain Yearly MeetingBritain Yearly Meeting
The Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain, also known as Britain Yearly Meeting , is a religious organisation in England, Scotland, Wales, the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man, often defined as a denomination of Christianity.It is a part of the international religious...
are as follows (words in italics are optional):
"In the presence of God (OR In the fear of the Lord and in the presence of this assembly), Friends, I take this my friend NAME to be my husband/wife, promising, through divine assistance (OR with God's help), to be unto him/her a loving and faithful wife/husband, so long as we both on earth shall live (OR until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us)"
The declarations may also be made in the Welsh language
Welsh language
Welsh is a member of the Brythonic branch of the Celtic languages spoken natively in Wales, by some along the Welsh border in England, and in Y Wladfa...
.
Law
Quaker marriage has been subject of special law in England and WalesEngland and Wales
England and Wales is a jurisdiction within the United Kingdom. It consists of England and Wales, two of the four countries of the United Kingdom...
from the 18th century to the present day. The first Marriage Act 1753
Marriage Act 1753
The Marriage Act 1753, full title "An Act for the Better Preventing of Clandestine Marriage", popularly known as Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act , was the first statutory legislation in England and Wales to require a formal ceremony of marriage. It came into force on 25 March 1754...
, which regulated the legal and civic recognition of marriage, recognised only marriages conducted by the "Society of Friends", Jews
Jews
The Jews , also known as the Jewish people, are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. The Jewish ethnicity, nationality, and religion are strongly interrelated, as Judaism is the traditional faith of the Jewish nation...
and the Church of England
Church of England
The Church of England is the officially established Christian church in England and the Mother Church of the worldwide Anglican Communion. The church considers itself within the tradition of Western Christianity and dates its formal establishment principally to the mission to England by St...
, and removed recognition of common law marriage or marriage conducted by any other religious group. Thus, Quakers' marriages were legally recognised at a time when marriages within other non-conformist traditions were not legally recognised.
This special exemption for Quakers has continued in subsequent Marriage Act
Marriage Act
-Australia:-Canada:-New ZealandSouth Africa:-Australia::The Marriage Act 1961, Australia's law that governs legal marriage.-Canada::The Civil Marriage Act passed in Canada explicitly permitting same-sex marriages.-New Zealand:...
s in England and Wales
England and Wales
England and Wales is a jurisdiction within the United Kingdom. It consists of England and Wales, two of the four countries of the United Kingdom...
up to and including the Marriage Act 1949
Marriage Act 1949
The Marriage Act 1949 is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom regulating marriages in England and Wales. The act abolished marriages for those under 16 years of age in England and Wales....
which allows "marriage in according to the usages of the Society of Friends, commonly called Quakers". Quakers and Jews were exempt from the restrictions within the Marriage Act 1949
Marriage Act 1949
The Marriage Act 1949 is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom regulating marriages in England and Wales. The act abolished marriages for those under 16 years of age in England and Wales....
from the requirements to marry in certain approved locations or at certain times, so were the only groups who were (theoretically) allowed to, for example, marry outdoors or in the middle of the night (although in practice Quaker marriages are performed in a place where there is a regular Meeting for Worship held, so would not usually take place outside).
The law with regard to Quaker weddings in England and Wales
England and Wales
England and Wales is a jurisdiction within the United Kingdom. It consists of England and Wales, two of the four countries of the United Kingdom...
is based around Section 47 of the Marriage Act 1949
Marriage Act 1949
The Marriage Act 1949 is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom regulating marriages in England and Wales. The act abolished marriages for those under 16 years of age in England and Wales....
Marriages according to usages of the Society of Friends http://www.statutelaw.gov.uk/content.aspx?LegType=All+Legislation&title=marriage&searchEnacted=0&extentMatchOnly=0&confersPower=0&blanketAmendment=0&sortAlpha=0&TYPE=QS&PageNumber=1&NavFrom=0&parentActiveTextDocId=1134037&ActiveTextDocId=1134110&filesize=3879
Quaker marriages in England and Wales
England and Wales
England and Wales is a jurisdiction within the United Kingdom. It consists of England and Wales, two of the four countries of the United Kingdom...
have two marriage certificates:
- Quaker marriage certificate - this is a large document which sets out the couple's names, the procedure they have followed and the declarations made. This is signed by the couple themselves, and by all who were present at the meeting for worship for solemnisation of their marriage. This is a requirement of Britain Yearly MeetingBritain Yearly MeetingThe Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain, also known as Britain Yearly Meeting , is a religious organisation in England, Scotland, Wales, the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man, often defined as a denomination of Christianity.It is a part of the international religious...
and is kept by the couple themselves, however is not normally recognised by any organisation outside of the Religious Society of FriendsReligious Society of FriendsThe Religious Society of Friends, or Friends Church, is a Christian movement which stresses the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers. Members are known as Friends, or popularly as Quakers. It is made of independent organisations, which have split from one another due to doctrinal differences...
. - Quaker civil marriage certificate - this is the certificate recognised by the government, and also recognised by other institutions such as banks etc. It is completed by the Registering Officer of the Area MeetingMonthly meetingMonthly Meetings are, traditionally, the basic unit of administration in the Religious Society of Friends .For some Friends a Monthly Meeting is a single Meeting , while for others it is a grouping of Meetings which come together for administrative purposes. Membership in the Religious Society of...
in which the marriage is taking place, and signed by the couple and four witnesses. It is similar in format to the marriage certificate of the Church of EnglandChurch of EnglandThe Church of England is the officially established Christian church in England and the Mother Church of the worldwide Anglican Communion. The church considers itself within the tradition of Western Christianity and dates its formal establishment principally to the mission to England by St...
or a civil wedding, although of a specific design stating that the marriage took place "according to the usages of the Society of Friends".
Law
A governmental marriage license is not usually part of the ceremony, and can be signed at a separate time if desired. In many areas, the license must be signed by an "officiant," but in the state of Pennsylvania, self-uniting marriageSelf-uniting marriage
A self-uniting marriage is one in which the couple are married without the presence of a third-party officiant. Although non-denominational, this method of getting married is sometimes referred to as a "Quaker Marriage"....
licenses are available which require only the signatures of the bride and groom and witnesses.
See also
- Christian views of marriageChristian views of marriageChristian views on marriage typically regard it as instituted and ordained by God for the lifelong relationship between one man as husband and one woman as wife, and is to be "held in honour among all...."...
- KetubahKetubahA ketubah is a special type of Jewish prenuptial agreement. It is considered an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom, in relation to the bride.-History:...
(Jewish marital contract) - NikahNikahMarriage in Islam is an Islamic prenuptial contract between a man and woman to live as husband and wife. It is a formal, binding contract considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride involved in marriage proceedings...
(Muslim marital contract)