Track listing

1. "Noble Stabbings!!" - 3:20
2. "A Floater Left with Pleasure in the Executive Washroom." - 2:37
3. "Fuzzy Pink Hand-Cuffs" - 2:09
4. "The Father, the Son, and the Homosexual/Single Parent" - 2:04
5. "Sell the House Sell the Car Sell the Kids Find Someone Else Forget It I'm Never Coming Back Forget It" - 2:02
6. "Folk Song." - 2:27
7. "Fired-Side Chat" - 2:56
8. "'I Was Born on a Pirate Ship' (Hold Your Tongue)" - 2:36
9. "D4=Putting the 'F' Back in 'Art'" - 2:12
10. "All Rise for the Rational Anthem" - 2:15
11. "Labour Issues in the Toy Department" - 3:45
12. "File Under 'Adult Urban Contemporary'" - 2:36
13. "New Punk Fashions for the Spring Formal" - 2:59

Trivia