Term of endearment
Encyclopedia
A term of endearment is a word or phrase used to address and/or describe a person, animal or inanimate object for which the speaker feels love
or affection
. Terms of endearment are used for a variety of reasons, such as parents addressing their children and lovers
addressing each other.
. "Baby" is first used in 1839 and "sugar" only appears as recently as 1930.
Most terms of endearment are concrete nouns that have favorable associations, either with a sweet taste
or the nature of the relationship
. Sometimes, abstract nouns are used, such as "sweetness", implying that the object of the speaker's affection is not only sweet, but embodies sweetness itself.
Use of terms of endearment can reveal little or nothing about the true quality of the relationship in question.
Feminists have complained that while 'terms of endearment are words used by close friends, families, and lovers...they are also used on women by perfect strangers...double standard
' - because 'between strangers terms of endearment imply a judgement of incompetence on the part of the target'. Others have pointed out however that, in an informal setting like a pub, 'the use of terms of endearment here was a positive politeness strategy. A term like "mate", or "sweetie", shifts the focus of the request away from its imposition...toward the camaraderie existing between interlocutors'.
Terms of endearment often 'make use of internal rhyme...[with] still current forms such as lovey-dovey, which appeared in 1819, and honey bunny', or of other duplications. Some such combinations seem nonsensical, odd, or too long, however, such as baby pie or love dear, and are seldom used.
Terms of endearment can lose their original meaning over the course of time: thus for example 'in the early twentieth century the word crumpet
was used as a term of endearment by both sexes', before diminishing later into a 'term of objectification' for women.
Terms of endearment are also used as a sort of "significant other identity".
put it) the 'opacity of the ejaculations of love, when, lacking a signifier to name the object of its epithalamium, it emplys the crudest trickery of the imaginary. "I'll eat you up....Sweetie!" "You'll love it...Rat!"'.
identified the marital game of "Sweetheart", where 'White makes a subtly derogatory remark about Mrs White, disguised as anecdote, and ends:"Isn't that right, sweetheart?" Mrs White tends to agree...because it would seem surly to disagree with a man who calls one "sweetheart" in public'.
Berne points out that 'the more tense the situation, and the closer the game is to exposure, the more bitterly is the word "sweetheart" enunciated'; while the wife's antithesis is either 'to reply: "Yes, honey!"' or to 'respond with a similar "Sweetheart" type anecdote about the husband, saying in effect, "You have a dirty face too, dear"'.
Love
Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase, "God is love" or Agape in the Canonical gospels...
or affection
Affection
Affection or fondness is a "disposition or rare state of mind or body" that is often associated with a feeling or type of love. It has given rise to a number of branches of philosophy and psychology concerning: emotion ; disease; influence; state of being ; and state of mind...
. Terms of endearment are used for a variety of reasons, such as parents addressing their children and lovers
Sexual partner
Sexual partners are people who engage in sexual activity together. The sexual partners can be of any gender or sexual orientation. The sexual partners may be in a committed relationship, either on an exclusive basis or not, or engage in the sexual activity on a casual basis...
addressing each other.
Etymology
Such words may not, in their original use, bear any resemblance in meaning to the meaning attached when used as a term of endearment, for example calling a significant other "pumpkin". Some words are clearly derived from each other, such as "sweetheart" and "sweetie", while others bear no etymological resemblance, such as "baby" and "cutie". "Honey" has been documented as a term of endearment in ancient GreeceAncient Greece
Ancient Greece is a civilization belonging to a period of Greek history that lasted from the Archaic period of the 8th to 6th centuries BC to the end of antiquity. Immediately following this period was the beginning of the Early Middle Ages and the Byzantine era. Included in Ancient Greece is the...
. "Baby" is first used in 1839 and "sugar" only appears as recently as 1930.
Most terms of endearment are concrete nouns that have favorable associations, either with a sweet taste
Taste
Taste is one of the traditional five senses. It refers to the ability to detect the flavor of substances such as food, certain minerals, and poisons, etc....
or the nature of the relationship
Intimate relationship
An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual...
. Sometimes, abstract nouns are used, such as "sweetness", implying that the object of the speaker's affection is not only sweet, but embodies sweetness itself.
Use of terms of endearment can reveal little or nothing about the true quality of the relationship in question.
Usage
Each term of endearment has its own connotations, which are highly dependent on the situation they are used in, such as tone of voice, body language, and social context. Saying "Hey baby, you're looking good" varies greatly from the use "Baby, don't swim at the deep end of the pool!" Certain terms can be perceived as offensive or patronizing, depending on the context and speaker.Feminists have complained that while 'terms of endearment are words used by close friends, families, and lovers...they are also used on women by perfect strangers...double standard
Double standard
A double standard is the unjust application of different sets of principles for similar situations. The concept implies that a single set of principles encompassing all situations is the desirable ideal. The term has been used in print since at least 1895...
' - because 'between strangers terms of endearment imply a judgement of incompetence on the part of the target'. Others have pointed out however that, in an informal setting like a pub, 'the use of terms of endearment here was a positive politeness strategy. A term like "mate", or "sweetie", shifts the focus of the request away from its imposition...toward the camaraderie existing between interlocutors'.
Terms of endearment often 'make use of internal rhyme...[with] still current forms such as lovey-dovey, which appeared in 1819, and honey bunny', or of other duplications. Some such combinations seem nonsensical, odd, or too long, however, such as baby pie or love dear, and are seldom used.
Terms of endearment can lose their original meaning over the course of time: thus for example 'in the early twentieth century the word crumpet
Crumpet
A crumpet is a savoury griddle cake made from flour and yeast. It is eaten mainly in the United Kingdom and other nations of the Commonwealth. Crumpets are somewhat similar in appearance, not in flavor, to North American pancakes, where both have pores caused by expanding air bubbles.- Etymology...
was used as a term of endearment by both sexes', before diminishing later into a 'term of objectification' for women.
Terms of endearment are also used as a sort of "significant other identity".
French
'French has all kinds of interesting terms of endearment, including a rather odd assortment of barnyard animals...[like] mon canard (my duck)' - something which may be compared to the British 'baby talk...duckie'.Proper names
When proper names escape one, terms of endearment can always substitute, producing (as LacanLacan
Lacan is surname of:* Jacques Lacan , French psychoanalyst and psychiatrist** The Seminars of Jacques Lacan** From Bakunin to Lacan: Anti-Authoritarianism and the Dislocation of Power, a book on political philosophy by Saul Newman** Lacan at the Scene* Judith Miller, née Lacan...
put it) the 'opacity of the ejaculations of love, when, lacking a signifier to name the object of its epithalamium, it emplys the crudest trickery of the imaginary. "I'll eat you up....Sweetie!" "You'll love it...Rat!"'.
"Sweetheart" - T. A.
Eric BerneEric Berne
Eric Berne was a Canadian-born psychiatrist best known as the creator of transactional analysis and the author of Games People Play.-Background and education:...
identified the marital game of "Sweetheart", where 'White makes a subtly derogatory remark about Mrs White, disguised as anecdote, and ends:"Isn't that right, sweetheart?" Mrs White tends to agree...because it would seem surly to disagree with a man who calls one "sweetheart" in public'.
Berne points out that 'the more tense the situation, and the closer the game is to exposure, the more bitterly is the word "sweetheart" enunciated'; while the wife's antithesis is either 'to reply: "Yes, honey!"' or to 'respond with a similar "Sweetheart" type anecdote about the husband, saying in effect, "You have a dirty face too, dear"'.
Literary anecdotes
- In C. P. SnowC. P. SnowCharles Percy Snow, Baron Snow of the City of Leicester CBE was an English physicist and novelist who also served in several important positions with the UK government...
's Last Things, the narrator's wife, faced with their son's unconventional marriage, turns to her husband and says: '"Tell me, Lewis" (actually she used a pet name which meant she needed me) "is that a real marriage?"'
- Virginia WoolfVirginia WoolfAdeline Virginia Woolf was an English author, essayist, publisher, and writer of short stories, regarded as one of the foremost modernist literary figures of the twentieth century....
- 'Mandril or Marmoset for Leonard' her husband - wrote 'the story "Lappin and Lapinova", published in 1938, which describes the death of a marriage when the erotic, escapist fantasy of the animal names is cruelly killed off by the husband'.
Further reading
- Latin Terms of Endearment and of Family Relationship: A Lexicographical Study Based on Volume VI of the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum; By Samuel Glenn Harrod, 1909, University of Michigan.
- A Woman's Place: Rhetoric and Readings for Composing Yourself and Your Prose by Shirley Morahan, Published by SUNY Press, 1981, ISBN 0873954882, 9780873954884.
- The Cambridge French-English Thesaurus by Marie-Noëlle Lamy, Richard Towell, Published by Cambridge University Press, 1998, ISBN 0521425816, 9780521425810.
- Nicknames, Pet Names, and Metaphors Casnig, John D. 1997-2009. A Language of Metaphors. Kingston, Ontario, Canada: Knowgramming.com