I actually might be gay.

I’m a virgin. I always have been.

I've borked a lot of women in my day.

Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?

I hope you have a big trunk, 'cause I'm putting my bike in it.

[high pitched voice] Me so horny. Me love you long time.

I may not have had sex but I could fuck you up!...Y-yeah!

[Andy painting a toy soldier of a Zouave] And now I am going to make your silver pants blue.

You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them!

[After crashing through a billboard on his bike] There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.